FabSwingers.com forum: Saying no

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?"

Good question

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

I just tell them. Easiest way in my opinion.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

It can be tricky - for me honesty (both ways) works best. I would say something like that I enjoyed meeting them the first time however do not feel we have sufficient in common for a second meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure they are in no doubt that you won't be meeting again, don't leave it open to interpretation.

But do it gently, it's a small world and you never know if you'll bump into them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It can be tricky - for me honesty (both ways) works best. I would say something like that I enjoyed meeting them the first time however do not feel we have sufficient in common for a second meet. "

honesty is best policy, but do it nicely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id make it clear im not into regular fun.. just be honest xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have played with them the first time if it wasn't someone I would want to meet up with regularly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had to do this. I didn't have a great time with the guy in the club and he pushed and pushed for a second bite of the cherry so to speak. It was awkward and took a lot of courage but he understands now.

I've had social meets where I've had to do it too.

Just a case of taking a deep breath and doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't have played with them the first time if it wasn't someone I would want to meet up with regularly.

I'm very picky who I meet and so have never met anyone I wouldn't want to meet a 2nd time. Plus I never make a decision on anyone from a first meet cause everyone always a bit nervous and I find that even a less than perfect 1st meet can become an amazing 2nd meet

Now there have been guys that over time we have drifted apart from and a few we never met a 2nd time but none I felt I wouldn't meet again.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't get why people get themselves into the position where you have to say what your intentions are.

I make it clear from the off that I don't make second arrangements right after the dirties.

If they ask in future I say 'no thanks' in a nice way and with an extra phrase that makes it clear we won't meet again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nearly all the fun I had via FAB had been one offs, not intentionally, just happened that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nearly all the fun I had via FAB had been one offs, not intentionally, just happened that way.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"I wouldn't have played with them the first time if it wasn't someone I would want to meet up with regularly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?"

for me telling me straight, it is up to them to deal with rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just make it clear from the start that you only meet once, that way there's nobody to let down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty the best policy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?"

I'd not say anything at the time and be vague when replying to any future contact from them, using such phrases as "sorry, I'm working", "I've a really bad case of the shits", "I'm on a curfew with an electronic tag" or "I'm mid way through gender reassignment!", until they gave up!!

Or I'd just say thanks, had fun but not looking to meet again - good luck!

Depends how many coffees I've had and how annoying their pestering has become!!

Or just emigrate!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?"

There wouldn't have been a first time if I didn't fancy them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually I let the messages go cold. If they persist and don't get the hint, then I would block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?

There wouldn't have been a first time if I didn't fancy them!

You could fancy them - and only discover you were completely incompatible when they turned out to have the sexual skills and imagination of a sloth!!

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Honesty the best policy "

Definitely! Tell em straight out and no messing. At least people know where they stand then.

People might not like hearing the truth or an ungilded and honest answer, but at least it makes it easier not to have anyone under any illusions.

So yeah, a quick straightforward no like a quick straightforward yes if you're going to play is good

Wolf

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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago

leeds

"So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?

There wouldn't have been a first time if I didn't fancy them!

You could fancy them - and only discover you were completely incompatible when they turned out to have the sexual skills and imagination of a sloth!!

Done that and stopped midway! Sorry this isn't working... why go through with something when it's not what you want!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?

There wouldn't have been a first time if I didn't fancy them!

You could fancy them - and only discover you were completely incompatible when they turned out to have the sexual skills and imagination of a sloth!!

Done that and stopped midway! Sorry this isn't working... why go through with something when it's not what you want!!"

I guess you were on top!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok So being a newbie here I was interested to read this as I've not had to do it yet and dreading it, I'm no wiser now lol

I think if it happens I will go with being honest as I find that's worked so far but then after one message they haven't invested much time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you meet someone and have some fun, but don't fancy round two. How do you tell them? Do you tell them straight or let them down gently?

There wouldn't have been a first time if I didn't fancy them!

You could fancy them - and only discover you were completely incompatible when they turned out to have the sexual skills and imagination of a sloth!!

Done that and stopped midway! Sorry this isn't working... why go through with something when it's not what you want!!"

I was once with a guy in cupids and mid fuck he asked me to be his girlfriend.... I pushed him out clamped my legs shut and he said, "but I haven't finished," my response was simple, "I have" I picked up my underwear and walked out of the room with my towel wrapped around me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say it straight up (politely) .... Am subtle as a sledge hammer though

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I wouldn't have played with them the first time if it wasn't someone I would want to meet up with regularly.

that may be the honest intention.... but sometimes things happen and something just may not click....

as long as they are honest that all we can ask for...

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Just advise them to read the forum threads....Or just tell them that you like the fun you had, but you want to give other people their chance

They will get the hint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't have played with them the first time if it wasn't someone I would want to meet up with regularly.

Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not necessarily pickiness or a bad time that causes us not to meet people again.....we tend to make friends with couples and see them regularly but with men like the thrill of someone new. I see it as...life is like a box of chocolates and we want to try all the flavour s....well apart from turkish delight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit happens. Just say thanks but no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I would prefer tell or be told. No point in keeping people hanging is there? We can't always click with everyone we meet can we?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

No matter how well you have gotten to know someone none of us can be sure we want to meet them again after the first meet. Until after we have met them.

I dont tend to say anything at the time and see what happens. The only time ive had to let someone down was on my one and only social meet. We where getting on really well (He was at mine) but he started trying to take things further and i had to keep reminding him it was only a social meet. I chose not to meet him again but said so via pm when he asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they might say they want to see me again and i say ok, then when they contact me again i make an excuse or just say they arent my type or something.

people do change their minds about seeing people all the time.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

right between the eyes...

I ain't shagging you again, have a good life x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Assuming they want a second meet it is best to be honest. It's very confusing when a person keeps giving mixed signals, it just means wasting efforts on someone who you're never going to see again, pointless. If you're worried you may hurt someone's feelings lying to them isn't nice either.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Was thinking that Granny has a good way of saying that she does not make arrangements for a second meet right at the start. If you do that then there is no expectation... and if sex was better than expected you could always go back on your word. I quite like that idea.

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