FabSwingers.com forum: Are you doing Fab as YOU should?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Having been here a long time, have you adjusted and changed the way YOU do Fab, and had that change worked for you?

Does what you did at the beginning g still work for you?

Have you changed or has the landscape of Fab changed and you adjusted with it?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I sadly can’t beat the level 2 boss and no one will share any cheat codes with me

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Bumping this for you Woody good sir as it’s an interesting post and deserves better answers than the shite I wrote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the beginning when I joined fab I joined to meet and fuck men I fancied

Then for years I couldn’t

Now I’m back and I’m still so anxious so who knows. Hopefully I am doing things right, but probs not

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I didn't know about the forum and certainly not group socials when I joined so yes I've totally changed the way I do fab .

It's more a way of life now and luckily I hope I have enriched other users

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

It's changed so much over the years, first 6 months were the sweetshop days and I was very cock hungry. Meeting my first fwb changed everything and I soon settled and built my stable of regular partners, soon after I took a kink journey and concentrated on my bdsm. But these past few years I've enjoyed basking in the glow of my fwb's attentions tbh,

Happily settled in my fab journey, whilst touring the country socialising

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/23 17:15:52]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bumping this for you Woody good sir as it’s an interesting post and deserves better answers than the shite I wrote

Ah don’t worry, but I appreciate it.

I laughed at yours, I’m just happy someone had answered at that point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Having been here a long time, have you adjusted and changed the way YOU do Fab, and had that change worked for you?

Does what you did at the beginning g still work for you?

Have you changed or has the landscape of Fab changed and you adjusted with it?

Well.

I used to be a single guy and then I wasn't, so yes.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

This is my 4th profile in almost 7 years here and I've changed my approach with each one.

The first one lasted only a couple of months and ended because of a disastrous first meet.

I came back with trepidation and that profile lasted 6 months and ran out of steam as far as I was concerned due mainly to lack of interest on my part.

The third one was as successful as I wanted it to be and involved some new experiences and lots of verifications but came to a shuddering halt as a result of demands and unreasonable expectations from someone I met.

I didn't log in for over a year and decided I would never be back.

Then I decided to erase all record of me on here and I logged back in just long enough to delete my well verified and successful profile.

A few months later and a more determined me rejoined with a clean slate and zero interest in chatting to anyone I had met before or even letting them know I had returned.

This current profile is now more than 4 years old and I have never compromised on how I want to do fab.

I don't pander to anyone and never chase or hunt.

I engage in the forums and don't use any other part of the site.

Despite that I have had experience of people determined to dictate how I should behave on here and they haven't been subtle about it at all.

Instructions on what I should do in order to meet certain people as well as "friendly" advice on why I should never chat to or meet certain others.

I'm on a number of "hot" profile blocklists for no other reason than saying no or refusing to fit in.

I've never had a no show or been one and I've said no more times than I've said yes to various offers.

So as usual a long and rambling reply to your question but yes I very much do me where this site is concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely? "

* haven’t

**obvs

***unnecessary and gratuitous footnote

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I'm doing it the way I want to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sadly can’t beat the level 2 boss and no one will share any cheat codes with me

It's Clique1234

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?"

You need to come to more socials Joe

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely?

* haven’t

**obvs

***unnecessary and gratuitous footnote "

Oooh, I like a good footnote.

Hi. How *you* doin’?

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

Yes totally changed started 14 years ago.So we have changed & learned a lot about this lifestyle and it's been a really great journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do want I want and sod the rest of you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely?

* haven’t

**obvs

***unnecessary and gratuitous footnote "

****woody is laughing.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

[Removed by poster at 20/06/23 17:29:58]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?

You need to come to more socials Joe

Socials are great nights out! But I was thinking more club nights and one to one meets to scratch a certain itch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have descended into a miasma of self doubt and recrimination against the fablatariat yet. What am I doing wrong? My self esteem should be on life support by now surely?

* haven’t

**obvs

***unnecessary and gratuitous footnote

Oooh, I like a good footnote.

Hi. How *you* doin’?"

Probably a moo point tbh. Y’know, like a cows opinion. It’s moo.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Yes. I think I’m more chilled out now. I’m no longer looking to meet for sex. I might consider socially meeting up with someone but let’s face it, most want the sex and not an awkward chin wag over a cuppa and some cake/biscuits/pizza/burger, so I’m happy just perving and waffling on the forums.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Ugh. Typo. Mortal shame. Deleted post. Start again.

In the past, I relied on the ‘who’s near’ and ‘post a meet’ parts of Fab. These days I pretty much exclusively look at the forums and end up in private messages.

So that’s a change, I guess. I went from ‘who’s near’ to ‘who’s nice?’

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Yes. I think I’m more chilled out now. I’m no longer looking to meet for sex. I might consider socially meeting up with someone but let’s face it, most want the sex and not an awkward chin wag over a cuppa and some cake/biscuits/pizza/burger, so I’m happy just perving and waffling on the forums. "

See, this actually is exactly what I want nowadays. I love the awkward chinwag over a pint or a cuppa. Sometimes that leads to snogging. And even sex. But it really, really doesn’t have to.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Probably a moo point tbh. Y’know, like a cows opinion. It’s moo. "

There’s an obvious comeback here about being a cow, but I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to make it because I actually quite like you. You’re alright.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

….So that’s a change, I guess. I went from ‘who’s near’ to ‘who’s nice?’"

That resonates so much with me.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?

You need to come to more socials Joe

Socials are great nights out! But I was thinking more club nights and one to one meets to scratch a certain itch

You can get cream for that......

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?

You need to come to more socials Joe

Socials are great nights out! But I was thinking more club nights and one to one meets to scratch a certain itch

Have you been to The Attic yet?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

At first we did look for meets etc

Now we rarely do I prefer to meet people at socials and don't actively seek on here anymore, I just scroll the forums while I coffee.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was so young and naive when I first joined, ah them were the days.

I reckon I've cracked it now though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably a moo point tbh. Y’know, like a cows opinion. It’s moo.

There’s an obvious comeback here about being a cow, but I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to make it because I actually quite like you. You’re alright."

That was classic Joey Tribiani.

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

"At the beginning when I joined fab I joined to meet and fuck men I fancied

Then for years I couldn’t

Now I’m back and I’m still so anxious so who knows. Hopefully I am doing things right, but probs not

Well I can't believe you'll be short on offers with a figure like you have.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I don’t think I’ve changed the way I use Fab OP.

I was on here for quite a long time albeit nearly 10 years ago. I still made friends, used the forums, went to socials and generally had a good laugh back then too.

I guess I’m just me and I just do as I want. I don’t think I’ve changed. If the fab landscape has, it hasn’t effected my approach at all

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I haven't changed I was crap at it when I started, I was crap at it when I gave up

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Not adjusted fuck all I'm still a cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's changed for me quite a bit, started meeting singly then had a fwb for several years.haven't meet for a while now and still don't really use forums tho I do lurk.. not that you wanted to know

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I rarely message randomly anymore. Prefer clubs and friends. I chat shite in the forum too

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London

Yes, absolutely, it has changed a lot over the couple of years ive been here.

Just lurked on the forums to start with, sent a few winks from local searches. Changed from a couples profile to a single female, and was glad id read the forums beforehand as that was overwhelming for a while! Went a bit crazy with meets for a bit, and now am mainly just on the forums again and chatting with friends.

Might go back to looking to meet again at some point, but im happy with how im using it atm, its right for me just now. X

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By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant

Been on less than a year ! New profile now, I blocked single men and that made it much better

yes yes I know #notallmen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on less than a year ! New profile now, I blocked single men and that made it much better

yes yes I know #notallmen

As a tall man. I take great offense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah, I need to stop hanging about the forums and letting messages stay messages and get out there and meet people! But effort though, innit?

You need to come to more socials Joe

Socials are great nights out! But I was thinking more club nights and one to one meets to scratch a certain itch

Have you been to The Attic yet?"

Yeah, I've been a few times and had good nights but the idea of approaching people I don't know still gives me a bit of a bit in my stomach

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By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant

"Been on less than a year ! New profile now, I blocked single men and that made it much better

yes yes I know #notallmen

As a tall man. I take great offense."

Haha sorry

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nothing changed carried on as I started and it's the simplest way to go. it works unable to reveal the dark secret

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By *empusMan
over a year ago

Poole

Took me 6 months to slowly figure out how to use fab properly. It has been worth the patience and effort though... Never had so much sex in my life and very much excited about what future naughtiness I can get involved in x

Had more than a few disappointments along the way though. Glad I stuck with it and learnt from my mistakes!

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Is there a manual?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there a manual?"

Yes.

This forum, we are good at telling you what you can and can’t do. ..

*Narrator - it’s at this point Woody realised what he’s said, and tried all the nearest doors for a quick exit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made all our fantasies a reality. It's easy.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I think everyone originally comes in trying to please everyone, keeping the field as wide as possible, minding their P’s and Q’s …..

…. And then I got to the “I really don’t care!” ….

I think it’s getting to the comfortable “couldn’t give two shits!” Stage…

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Been on less than a year ! New profile now, I blocked single men and that made it much better

yes yes I know #notallmen

As a tall man. I take great offense."

Oi lanky!

Stop nicking my hashtag gag.......

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Only major adjustment is as a single guy. It's a different experience but pretty much as I expected.

I guess I've learnt about myself from the people I've met and experiences I've had over the years.

I now usually only deal with around 5 cock pics a day rather than 50 that's a nice change.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Yup came on planning on being single for ever and just having meets now and then.....

To meeting someone and now doing this as a couple

Tinder

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I have definitely changed since joining fab. I much more adventurous now. I put up with less nonsense. I know what works for me and what doesn't and I've grown in confidence.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I changed loads once i was driven to prove myself the greatest fuck alive and held the title a good while before retiring due to inevitable heartbreak so now i just hang around like a dead rat stuck in the walls

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’ve been here over 10 years now and mainly just use the forums on and off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest I don't think I've ever played the fab games or followed all the weird rules people seem to think exist.

I do my own thing and own it. As a result I have a great time.

Sometimes it's purely chatting online, sometimes it's social, sometimes I make friends and sometimes I even have sex.

I see too many people getting bogged down in what others do or might be thinking. I think they are missing out as a result

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not doing it at all at the moment. I pop back in to clear the w-eeds then go again.

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By *empusMan
over a year ago

Poole

"I have definitely changed since joining fab. I much more adventurous now. I put up with less nonsense. I know what works for me and what doesn't and I've grown in confidence."

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I've been here about 15 years and I've changed as a person a lot. My fab use has varied too. There's always so much more that could be gained but I'm OK

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By *kinkycpleCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Wet slow start but certainly making up for lost time. I’d say we are definitely using fab as intended and whilst you have to do a lot of filtering, fundamentally it’s a brill facility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In previous incarnations I did not use the Forums, since returning this time I am constantly looking at threads in the Lounge.

What's not changed is how I use it for chatting with friends and having a nose at interesting profiles.

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

As someone only really properly 8 weeks in to the fab and swingers life this is very interesting. I can feel a wee change in how I engage already happening.

Here is hoping that the joys continue to outweigh the lows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first profile was about 7 years ago, I wasn't agoraphobic then and actually was quite outgoing but I had no clue how to use the site tools and got overwhelmed. Thought the polite thing was replying to every message, had my first meet and was made to feel very uncomfortable and pressured into sex. I deleted my profile and told my neighbour who was a regular site user, she encouraged me back and showed me how to use the tools. I never used the forums till a year ago and now I only use forums as a distraction from life issues. In a way its helping me and my agoraphobia

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I'm coming up to my first anniversary on Fab. I started out reading the advice threads on the forum for a few clues on how to set up my profile. Did what I thought was OK, put plenty of face pics on etc. The first few months a activity searched the lists of profiles what fitted my likes. I used to send well thought out messages after making sure I read a profile twice, so I knew for sure what the owner of the prifile was looking for. I sent a face pic with message as well. I used this method for around 6 months without any success why so ever (apart from a quick 2 mins chat on cam with a couple).

I no longer send messages,as I never recieve replies so I see it as a waste of my time and all the effort is wasted. Now I just read the forums, update my pics regularly so they are how I look now, and post status updates.

I have literally run out of ideas on how to make contact with people on here who I am attracted to, or how to attract interest.

I'm not one for meeting large groups of people in clubs(even if I was I wouldn't pay the rip off prices they charge single men out of principle), or large social gatherings. I'd rather make Co tact, talk via videocall and meet for a quiet drink to see if the spark and attraction is there.

So, yes, I have completly changed the way I use Fab.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's working for my current requirements, yes. They've changed dramatically

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I grateful for everyone that’s answered, each and everyone makes me reflect in held actualy.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Works for us and our wants.

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