FabSwingers.com forum: Swinging after a single or double mastectomy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What are your thoughts on this?

If a woman enjoys clubbing but hates her upper body after a mastectomy.

My thoughts are that I would respect her for making the most of her life and try to help her enjoy other parts of her body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would hope they would have the confidence to live their lives to the full and enjoy it.

I would also hope that any other club goers would respect them and embrace them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on this?

If a woman enjoys clubbing but hates her upper body after a mastectomy.

My thoughts are that I would respect her for making the most of her life and try to help her enjoy other parts of her body.

Reply in private, if you don't want to share on the open forum."

I think the person who has had the experience should do what makes them happy.

I am not entirely comfortable with a man making this thread about a woman.

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By * and N KinkyCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

I think the woman’s choice should be respected.

Recently I had the opportunity to spend time in a breast clinic specifically for cancer patients and had the opportunity to listen to the process and opportunities around reconstruction. In a professional capacity. These women are strong and having to deal with big decisions. So if she decides she want a mastectomy and not go through the reconstruction that needs to be respected.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

There are many ways that someone might have something different about their body and feel upset at how others might look at them. I try to look at the person* not at any difference from what society counts as beauty. To me a mastectomy would be neither a disfigurement nor a fetish, just part of a person.

I have in fact come across a lady in a club who did have breast cancer and surgery, chatting with her she said that swinging and allowing people to see her undressed had helped greatly to restore her confidence in her appearance. I thought that she was very beautiful.

* I'm a product of a society where arbitrary beauty standards and body shaming have been baked into my surroundings throughout my entire life, I -know- that there are horrible things that have taken root in my psyche, I fight them but realise that they will still have some effect upon my personality and actions. As somebody very wise** once said "I yam what I yam".

** Popeye the Sailor Man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on this?

If a woman enjoys clubbing but hates her upper body after a mastectomy.

My thoughts are that I would respect her for making the most of her life and try to help her enjoy other parts of her body.

Reply in private, if you don't want to share on the open forum.

I think the person who has had the experience should do what makes them happy.

I am not entirely comfortable with a man making this thread about a woman. "

Please message me as I cannot contact you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on this?

If a woman enjoys clubbing but hates her upper body after a mastectomy.

My thoughts are that I would respect her for making the most of her life and try to help her enjoy other parts of her body.

Reply in private, if you don't want to share on the open forum.

I think the person who has had the experience should do what makes them happy.

I am not entirely comfortable with a man making this thread about a woman.

Please message me as I cannot contact you.

No.

You can talk to me openly here on not at all.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"What are your thoughts on this?

If a woman enjoys clubbing but hates her upper body after a mastectomy.

My thoughts are that I would respect her for making the most of her life and try to help her enjoy other parts of her body.

Reply in private, if you don't want to share on the open forum."

Noted.

I'm not sure about the other parts but the 4 clubs that I've been to in London are respectful of everyone's disabilities or health conditions. The staff and the members.

some of us have scars, hair in random places, Fupas, missing limbs, injuries, patches for various things ( nicotine, hormones, birth control, diabetes etc.. Most of my health conditions are hidden but I have things about me that stand out..good or bad....the whole point is to be able to be yourself without judgment.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Met a couple where she'd had a mastectomy, I didn't know as she'd had an implant and was only told later on. Think it was more a talking point as we were a bit busy - it was the last thing on my mind and wouldn't have stopped me meeting them anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No.

You can talk to me openly here on not at all."

A lady from another forum contacted me and asked if I was willing to post about mastectomies for her. She didn't want to do so herself but was hoping to read positive comments from others.

The reason I asked you to contact me privately was so I could get both of you talking.

The lady says she has contacted some people in this forum and has had fantastic response. She is also very grateful that I did create this forum post

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

No.

You can talk to me openly here on not at all.

A lady from another forum contacted me and asked if I was willing to post about mastectomies for her. She didn't want to do so herself but was hoping to read positive comments from others.

The reason I asked you to contact me privately was so I could get both of you talking.

The lady says she has contacted some people in this forum and has had fantastic response. She is also very grateful that I did create this forum post "

Hi, I am a friend of the lady that the OP refers to above. She has indeed recently had to have surgery, and has lost a lot of body confidence. She has been in the swinging community for a good while now, and will be known to others on the forums, but at present does not feel able to openly reveal herself to other than close friends.

Her request to the OP was part of trying to start rebuilding her confidence, she was hoping to get a feel for how people in the community and the clubs might react to the sight of her surgery. She is dreadfully sorry that a level of disquiet has been caused by the topic being raised by a male OP.

The request for a private message between the OP and the poster who was upset was so that he could privately reveal the lady's identity and allow the two of them to converse. If the poster has reservations about sending messages via the OP, I would also be happy to act as go between.

The lady wishes to say thank you for the positive words that have been written in this thread, and again, to apologise for the confusion and misunderstanding about the motives of the OP.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

No.

You can talk to me openly here on not at all.

A lady from another forum contacted me and asked if I was willing to post about mastectomies for her. She didn't want to do so herself but was hoping to read positive comments from others.

The reason I asked you to contact me privately was so I could get both of you talking.

The lady says she has contacted some people in this forum and has had fantastic response. She is also very grateful that I did create this forum post "

Maybe you should have said that in the first place? It does seem very odd a man asking about this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

You can talk to me openly here on not at all.

A lady from another forum contacted me and asked if I was willing to post about mastectomies for her. She didn't want to do so herself but was hoping to read positive comments from others.

The reason I asked you to contact me privately was so I could get both of you talking.

The lady says she has contacted some people in this forum and has had fantastic response. She is also very grateful that I did create this forum post

The lady wishes to say thank you for the positive words that have been written in this thread, and again, to apologise for the confusion and misunderstanding about the motives of the OP."

Hugs for the lady.

However the OP just seems like a creepy fetish.

Apologies to the OP as apparently this is not true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A great attempt, OP, to reach out to others in the hope to break barriers and offer hope.

It's sad that it was greeted with such cynicism, prejudice and aggression.

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By *uer MalusMan
over a year ago

Narnia

"What are your thoughts on this?

If a woman enjoys clubbing but hates her upper body after a mastectomy.

My thoughts are that I would respect her for making the most of her life and try to help her enjoy other parts of her body.

Reply in private, if you don't want to share on the open forum.

I think the person who has had the experience should do what makes them happy.

I am not entirely comfortable with a man making this thread about a woman. "

I think that as long as the person is sensitive and mature about the topic, why is it not for them to have an opinion.

Regarding the mastectomy, I see the physical part like that of an amputee. Of course the emotional connection may be so much greater and I know woman for whom their breasts are an important erogenous zone and so they may really struggle. My hope is that those woman who are unfortunate to need a mastectomy but blessed enough to have survived are able to overcome any unease and that the guys they are with make them feel like the brave and sexy women that the still are and enjoy life to the fullest.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I much prefer personality to looks, it wouldn't bother me what she looked like as long as I connected with her in some way.

I can't be judgemental, I had a testicle removed back in 99.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If I saw a lady in a club or naked who had had a single or double mastectomy, I’d be well impressed with her confidence and confidence is attractive.

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By *uer MalusMan
over a year ago

Narnia

No.

You can talk to me openly here on not at all.

A lady from another forum contacted me and asked if I was willing to post about mastectomies for her. She didn't want to do so herself but was hoping to read positive comments from others.

The reason I asked you to contact me privately was so I could get both of you talking.

The lady says she has contacted some people in this forum and has had fantastic response. She is also very grateful that I did create this forum post

Maybe you should have said that in the first place? It does seem very odd a man asking about this."

Sad that some people are sooo “judgey” about men. I am a qualified medical professional and did not read it as being creepy. It could have been his mother, wife, sister or friend. The prejudice may be in those thinking that the men are creepy.

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By *erence IIMan
over a year ago

Irrelevant

"A great attempt, OP, to reach out to others in the hope to break barriers and offer hope.

It's sad that it was greeted with such cynicism, prejudice and aggression.

This.

A woman posting a similar thread about say prostrate surgery wouldn't have people assuming she was into pegging ffs. The OP's post was polite, worded kindly and simply asking for opinions. A shame the opinions he got is that any man talking about any female specific issue is assumed to be a cunt unless proven otherwise.

The continuous sexism in these forums (both ways) is fucking depressing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, If your friend would like to contact me on this subject, I'm happy to converse.

I believe I have some input that could be useful.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"A great attempt, OP, to reach out to others in the hope to break barriers and offer hope.

It's sad that it was greeted with such cynicism, prejudice and aggression.

This.

The continuous sexism in these forums (both ways) is fucking depressing."

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A great attempt, OP, to reach out to others in the hope to break barriers and offer hope.

It's sad that it was greeted with such cynicism, prejudice and aggression.

This.

The continuous sexism in these forums (both ways) is fucking depressing."

Blame the creepy men.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

Most scars or marks are from earned experience such as childbirth, accidents or medical procedures so wear them with pride.

Definitely easier to say but be proud of them but if really an issue wear lingerie etc to make them less obvious.

Would never put me off, we are all different & that's part of the attraction. It's firstly about having good a partner for sex, the bits & bobs are the secondary part.

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By *erence IIMan
over a year ago

Irrelevant

"A great attempt, OP, to reach out to others in the hope to break barriers and offer hope.

It's sad that it was greeted with such cynicism, prejudice and aggression.

This.

The continuous sexism in these forums (both ways) is fucking depressing.

Blame the creepy men.

Perhaps I should blame the women who can't park a car or don't like STEM subjects too eh?

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By *exySwitches203Couple
over a year ago

Felixstowe

I (Mrs) am good friends with a lady in the lifestyle that had a double mastectomy. Her story is incredible and her confidence makes her even more sexy! Everyone’s bodies are different, one thing I love about the lifestyle is how open minded people are, and quite often the mind and connection is what makes people so sexy!

I encourage her to embrace her new body, we all have scars, different bits and marks, men and women alike. Find confidence in herself with how she got through the procedure and enjoy life to the full

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we get back on track to before it was redirected? Please.

I feel this is an interesting and important topic, and could help Women that have to go through this.

In addition, it can also help Men that have to go through this themselves or see loved ones do so.

There's enough divide and toxicity here as it is, let's pull together.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you to everyone who have posted good or bad points of view on this topic. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, even a creepy old perv like me.

My intention was to help someone out and it seems to have done that, so thank you all again.

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

I am not entirely comfortable with a man making this thread about a woman. "

Me either.

OP. Is this something your partner is going through or do you have an interest in this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not entirely comfortable with a man making this thread about a woman.

Me either.

OP. Is this something your partner is going through or do you have an interest in this?"

The answers are posted within the thread.

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