FabSwingers.com forum: Toast Crumbs in The Butter

By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Capital offence or just deal with it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds very much like a John Shuttleworth song.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

The fact you have to check before carrying out the punishment, shows the decision has been made.

You simply need confirmation.

The verdict. Is death.

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By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

The fact you have to check before carrying out the punishment, shows the decision has been made.

You simply need confirmation.

The verdict. Is death.

Fuck.

I was hoping for mercy.

Oh well. Was nice knowing you all....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

The fact you have to check before carrying out the punishment, shows the decision has been made.

You simply need confirmation.

The verdict. Is death.

Fuck.

I was hoping for mercy.

Oh well. Was nice knowing you all....

I want it samurai style please.

With the offending knife.

Seppuku.

However, if you get anything in the butter dish. I swear to God...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

JAIL immediately!

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I mean what's a man to do?!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Absolutely unacceptable.

Results in immediate eternal banishment from my house.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I mean what's a man to do?!"

Lick the knife clean before putting it back in the butter

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By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

The fact you have to check before carrying out the punishment, shows the decision has been made.

You simply need confirmation.

The verdict. Is death.

Fuck.

I was hoping for mercy.

Oh well. Was nice knowing you all....

I want it samurai style please.

With the offending knife.

Seppuku.

However, if you get anything in the butter dish. I swear to God..."

Not an option I'm afraid. The butter knife is, like all butter knives should be (to stop you carving up your toast)....blunt as I am when some muppet tells me in an opening message how nice my tits are.

And we don't have a butter dish. It comes straight from the tub in the fridge.

*I've probably just committed 'butter herecy' by keeping it in the fridge too.

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By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I mean what's a man to do?!

Lick the knife clean before putting it back in the butter

Wipe it on the curtains?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want this dick. Deal with it.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"If you want this dick. Deal with it. "

You butter your toast with your dick?!

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"I mean what's a man to do?!

Lick the knife clean before putting it back in the butter

I wipe it on my butt usually. Ever put butter there? Quite the sensation

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I mean what's a man to do?!

Lick the knife clean before putting it back in the butter

Wipe it on the curtains?

But then you'd get stale semen in your butter

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"If you want this dick. Deal with it.

You butter your toast with your dick?!

To be fair it is a sharp one

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I mean what's a man to do?!

Lick the knife clean before putting it back in the butter

I wipe it on my butt usually. Ever put butter there? Quite the sensation"

Margarine maybe, butter's too expensive for that

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

That means youve been double dipping!

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By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I mean what's a man to do?!

Lick the knife clean before putting it back in the butter

I wipe it on my butt usually. Ever put butter there? Quite the sensation"

Were you watching Last Tango in Paris last night?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Capita offence for sure.

Same as butter in the jam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hold me back. Hold me back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

The fact you have to check before carrying out the punishment, shows the decision has been made.

You simply need confirmation.

The verdict. Is death.

Fuck.

I was hoping for mercy.

Oh well. Was nice knowing you all....

I want it samurai style please.

With the offending knife.

Seppuku.

However, if you get anything in the butter dish. I swear to God...

And we don't have a butter dish. It comes straight from the tub in the fridge.

*I've probably just committed 'butter herecy' by keeping it in the fridge too.

My disappointment and lack of surprise, immeasurable.

No, now I want the spoon to be used.

But why cousin?

Because it's dull and it'll hurt more!

If you know you know. Blessed be Alan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you want this dick. Deal with it.

You butter your toast with your dick?!

I can’t with you

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Just why?!

Everyone knows how much butter you need!

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deal with it. But those people who leave the crums on top of the toaster, what the hell is that.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"If you want this dick. Deal with it.

You butter your toast with your dick?!

I can’t with you

Is that because one look at me and it shrinks back inside your body like a turtles head?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But what if you want to make a sandwich next and the butter has toast crumbs inside? Do you dedicate an area of the tub to keep all the unused crumby butter?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you want this dick. Deal with it.

You butter your toast with your dick?!

I can’t with you

Is that because one look at me and it shrinks back inside your body like a turtles head?

No I find you attractive. That’s not the problem, Dee

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Put enough butter on knife for at least 2 slices. Any more than that, wipe knife before putting in butter again.

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By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"But what if you want to make a sandwich next and the butter has toast crumbs inside? Do you dedicate an area of the tub to keep all the unused crumby butter?! "

Overcomplicated.

I may just have to buy two tubs and write my name on it with a sharpie.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

If you’re not careful you’ll be on the spaceship with Andrew Tate

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It obviously is the start of infections in the food, so it's a minimum of death as punishment

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

No get out don't come back.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Do what we do and have his and hers butter.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Do what we do and have his and hers butter. "

Different brands ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Do what we do and have his and hers butter.

Different brands ?"

Yes

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

Worse than coffee in the sugar (not that I have either, these days).

Worse than butter in the Nutella.

But none of these are as bad as any foreign body on anything in the bathroom. Just urgh.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Do what we do and have his and hers butter.

Different brands ?

Yes

Ah right, so not for hygiene purposes or marital harmony

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Do what we do and have his and hers butter.

Different brands ?

Yes

Ah right, so not for hygiene purposes or marital harmony

If I couldn't have my salted Danish butter I'd probably be (more of) a nightmare to live with...

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

The fact you have to check before carrying out the punishment, shows the decision has been made.

You simply need confirmation.

The verdict. Is death.

Fuck.

I was hoping for mercy.

Oh well. Was nice knowing you all....

I want it samurai style please.

With the offending knife.

Seppuku.

However, if you get anything in the butter dish. I swear to God...

And we don't have a butter dish. It comes straight from the tub in the fridge.

*I've probably just committed 'butter herecy' by keeping it in the fridge too.

I was tending to leniency... until the butter I the fridge.

Death.

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

Definitely deserving a flogging at the very least.

In a similar vein, cross contamination of spread and jam.

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By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Capital offence or just deal with it?

The fact you have to check before carrying out the punishment, shows the decision has been made.

You simply need confirmation.

The verdict. Is death.

Fuck.

I was hoping for mercy.

Oh well. Was nice knowing you all....

I want it samurai style please.

With the offending knife.

Seppuku.

However, if you get anything in the butter dish. I swear to God...

And we don't have a butter dish. It comes straight from the tub in the fridge.

*I've probably just committed 'butter herecy' by keeping it in the fridge too.

I was tending to leniency... until the butter I the fridge.

Death."

Seems death it is.

Probably via a ladder incident later.

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