FabSwingers.com forum: Unwritten rules of fabclub!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

1. No reply - she’s not interested!

2. Filters on pics - he/she is actually a bit ropey in real life

3. NO Dick pics (unless specifically requested)

Keep it going…….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4. If she doesn’t reply it’s cause she’s a fat ugly whore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

5. On a ‘shag, marry, avoid’ thread, the only acceptable answer for any female is shag.

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By *uff the Boner!Man
over a year ago

SWANSEA

"4. If she doesn’t reply it’s cause she’s a fat ugly whore"

Oh my goodness lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

6) If the profile says safe sex only then no need to take condoms, everybody wants bareback really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

6. Do not talk about the clique

7. The clique is well and truly alive

8. The forums are cliquey

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"4. If she doesn’t reply it’s cause she’s a fat ugly whore"

Or rather he is! Whoever said it!

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

When somebody says ‘they know who they are’ it usually means they don’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"6. Do not talk about the clique

7. The clique is well and truly alive

8. The forums are cliquey "

Wanna join my clique group chat?

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

When’s someone says they’re not looking to sleep with the whole site, it actually means they would probably shag anyone with a pulse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When somebody says ‘they know who they are’ it usually means they don’t."

It usually means they don’t exist

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Being Fab straight is a thing. It’s real

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"4. If she doesn’t reply it’s cause she’s a fat ugly whore"

And if she does reply with a no thanks, she's gagging for it. The only reasonable response in this situation is to send 17 over the toilet dick pics, at least 4 of which have shitstains in full view.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"4. If she doesn’t reply it’s cause she’s a fat ugly whore

And if she does reply with a no thanks, she's gagging for it. The only reasonable response in this situation is to send 17 over the toilet dick pics, at least 4 of which have shitstains in full view. "

Classy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single guys we'll find you if we need you ..as if the single guys are sitting around Twiddling their thumbs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"6. Do not talk about the clique

7. The clique is well and truly alive

8. The forums are cliquey

Wanna join my clique group chat?"

Which role would I play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single guys we'll find you if we need you ..as if the single guys are sitting around Twiddling their thumbs

Well….they are

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Single guys we'll find you if we need you ..as if the single guys are sitting around Twiddling their thumbs

Well….they are

Not if they're Elite Shaggers though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single guys we'll find you if we need you ..as if the single guys are sitting around Twiddling their thumbs

Well….they are

Not if they're Elite Shaggers though."

You don’t see many of them on fab

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Single guys we'll find you if we need you ..as if the single guys are sitting around Twiddling their thumbs

Well….they are

Not if they're Elite Shaggers though.

You don’t see many of them on fab"

Oh but when you do it's a thing of beauty.

I love me some Alpha male posturing. Always brightens my mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So much is making sense now

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By *uckMan
over a year ago

Scunthorpe DN15

couples use the "I" as opposed to the "we" in forum posts

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Single guys we'll find you if we need you ..as if the single guys are sitting around Twiddling their thumbs

Well….they are

It’s not my thumb I’m twiddling!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought the first rule of fabclub is that there is no fabclub?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I thought the first rule of fabclub is that there is no fabclub?

Shush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never read profiles , just message people with what you want from them , you will definitely get a positive response .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought the first rule of fabclub is that there is no fabclub?

Shush

Thats what my local fabclub is called

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

If you haven't already got some - buy some blue underwear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men - always take pictures over the toilet... by the toilet ,anywhere near the shite gobbler and it's automatically extra appealing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Treat her with respect" means "she had low standards being willing to shag me, so all you other horny fuckers form a queue"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't mention the forum clique

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"Single guys we'll find you if we need you ..as if the single guys are sitting around Twiddling their thumbs

•

Haha!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

When they suggest/insist on a social meet, they have misspelled sexual. It's impolite to highlight literacy issues, so go along for a good fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Beautiful inside and out" indicates that the verifier is a serial k1ller and is therefore one to be avoided.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one handed cut and paste messaging… or what I like to call it, Surf n Turfing

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

Dont call me your experiment, “test the waters” or any variation of these. Its not attractive rather the complete opposite and a pretty quick way to be deleted and/or blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Massage is code for finger your Mrs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't log in after midnight, come back in the morning when it's safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you like to leave a level of mystery about you and have a heightened level of intrigue about your profile.

Fill in later…. But don’t. EVER.

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

All cocks must be measured against a sky remote/drinks can/ any other random household object.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

1 - dont read profiles it's a waste of time.

2 - message everyone in 100 mile radius faf

3 - no reply to faf so pop a cock in their box because that's what's obviously lacking

4 - still no reply so make a forum post to shame those horrid non replying people

5 - you must be verified to receive any kind of sexual action - now post in forums to be verified.

6 - add 2" to cock measurements

7 - couples are all fake it's just an old bloke including me.

8 - must remember to remove wife's belongings from bathroom before taking cock pics.

9 - when all else fails it's everyone else's fault

10 - the clique

Mrs

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By *zlakMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"1 - dont read profiles it's a waste of time.

2 - message everyone in 100 mile radius faf

3 - no reply to faf so pop a cock in their box because that's what's obviously lacking

4 - still no reply so make a forum post to shame those horrid non replying people

5 - you must be verified to receive any kind of sexual action - now post in forums to be verified.

6 - add 2" to cock measurements

7 - couples are all fake it's just an old bloke including me.

8 - must remember to remove wife's belongings from bathroom before taking cock pics.

9 - when all else fails it's everyone else's fault

10 - the clique

Mrs

That's brilliant.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"1 - dont read profiles it's a waste of time.

2 - message everyone in 100 mile radius faf

3 - no reply to faf so pop a cock in their box because that's what's obviously lacking

4 - still no reply so make a forum post to shame those horrid non replying people

5 - you must be verified to receive any kind of sexual action - now post in forums to be verified.

6 - add 2" to cock measurements

7 - couples are all fake it's just an old bloke including me.

8 - must remember to remove wife's belongings from bathroom before taking cock pics.

9 - when all else fails it's everyone else's fault

10 - the clique

Mrs

I'm feeling so judged now, really hurts.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"1 - dont read profiles it's a waste of time.

2 - message everyone in 100 mile radius faf

3 - no reply to faf so pop a cock in their box because that's what's obviously lacking

4 - still no reply so make a forum post to shame those horrid non replying people

5 - you must be verified to receive any kind of sexual action - now post in forums to be verified.

6 - add 2" to cock measurements

7 - couples are all fake it's just an old bloke including me.

8 - must remember to remove wife's belongings from bathroom before taking cock pics.

9 - when all else fails it's everyone else's fault

10 - the clique

Mrs

I'm feeling so judged now, really hurts."

Apologies but if the shoe fits and all that

Mrs

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

324. “Spare evening tonite, what to get up to Mmmmm…?” . These people will be death scrolling Netflix at 1am despite 2,000 messages with suggestions.

325. Couple with 1 meet veri from 5 years ago = It was the husbands idea, she didn’t like it but he’s really keen and he keeps trying. They’ll ghost you 30 minutes before the social because they’ve had a massive row.

326. “Missus is in town shopping with no knickers, stockings and heels” = She’s in Lidl, oblivious to what husband said on Fab and is actually wearing a pair of joggers, fluffy sliders and a old fleece

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By *ischiefManaged69Couple
over a year ago

Preston

Male's face pic is him sitting in a car....cheating

Must be hot...no one knows what that means

I'm nearby....fuck now?

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Not my first rodeo, I know how this works, couldn't stay away. = I got a gf, fucking like rabbits at first. Now I don't get any so I'm back. Behind her back, I mean, she knows and given me full permission to play.

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

"professional couple" basically we think better than the rest but you may look at our profile, serfs!!!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sapiosexual - wants admiration for self-perceived intellect and is slow to produce anything other than cock pics, for reasons known to himself.

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By *ustauseerTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

90% of people who message first aren’t going to read your bio looking for that word you put up.

“are you convincing” = I don’t value trans people as people and i’d be a rubbish encounter.

My two personal favourites

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

If you ever meet someone we've met don't mess them around, treat them well, you won't regret it.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

It's not you.

It's them.

*it's probably you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a single woman posts a status about how many hundreds or thousands of unread messages she has, it means that she doesn't actually read any of them

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By *ranimallxl5Man
over a year ago

Winchester

They all think Fab is a limited company

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Posting that disclaimer at the end of your profile makes you a 'genuine swinger' and offers as much protection as a chocolate fireguard.

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

If a woman messages a guy first, then she's actually a guy

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By *hawn ScottMan
over a year ago

london Brixton

Men must be at least 8 inches! That must thin the herd!

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"They all think Fab is a limited company "

Publicly traded company I've seen. Where do these things start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Discrete = probably attached

Professional = employed

Looks not important, it's personality that counts = definitely looks count!

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Post a meet now and update your status to "lukin a meet 12 til 3 fer a bit off fun" then stay logged off between 11 and 6.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

You must be exceptional....wtf does that actually mean? I'm guessing they want a figure of a Greek god, with penis length and girth of about 12 inches x 4 inches, with the face of George Clooney, dressed head to toe in Armani.

How about, nice person who just wants a laugh?

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

You should all have a friend on your list with the word 'Chunky' in the name.

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Negative veris don’t exist.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Couples profiles can only have the ladies in pics - only cock pics for men but it’s NOT because they are 5/10 and therefore the woman is used to catfish

People who ask for profile advice will never ever change their profile and will ask why they aren’t getting meets a month later

If someone starts a thread to say ‘I really don’t know what pics I should do next’ isn’t wanting ideas - they just want people to say your profile is amazing as it is

On the would you shag the next person…a woman answers and then the next 50 guys all respond to her only saying yes they would.

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By *ixed MisterMan
over a year ago

London

All straight men are fab-straight

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

If you have a dick that needs an immediate medical intervention, photograph it at various angles and make sure to put one as your profile picture.

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

On the subject of dick pics, hold your cock as tightly as possible and as close to your pubic bone as possible. No one will ever suspect you are trying to make it look bigger and harder than it actually is.

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By *ohndom2023Man
over a year ago

Hastings/Greenwich

If your message goes unread try one more time then move on.

If they cannot accommodate be wary.

Always be polite & respectful.

Do not judge anyone by their appearance or desires.

Never retaliate when you have been insulted and remember not to take this too seriously.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"If you have a dick that needs an immediate medical intervention, photograph it at various angles and make sure to put one as your profile picture.

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By *arkhorse12345Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Well said .. and then they find single guys .. fat with big belly who hasn't seen his dick for a while lol

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By *arkhorse12345Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Ha ha luv it - Lidl one is so true lol

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By *eally_RosieWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

If a woman says ‘no thanks,’ you should definitely become abusive and act like you got a lucky escape. We love that. It’s sure to change our minds

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

Looking for convincing tv/ts means I’d rather meet a woman but that ain’t gonna happen and I’m desperate.

Looks are unimportant means I’m desperate.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

If someone has 'not meeting' or 'don't message unless we have a specific meet post on our profile, you should definitely message them asking if they fancy a shag tonight, tomorrow or next week as you're 'in the area'....

And if they don't answer your first two messages, why not send a third? That's guaranteed to pique their interest for sure.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

1 Some people here are very open minded and tolerant but none of us were born yesterday. Behave such that you acknowledge and accept this.

. Not the opposite

2. If you repeatedly lose/forget your login details and create new accounts etc, you will not get kudos for your resilience. Just contempt for unreliability

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

"Never read profiles , just message people with what you want from them , you will definitely get a positive response ."

Now this one I like …. Very good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These replies made me laugh so hard! Some are scarily accurate

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By *enerifehotwifecplCouple
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Ha ha ha true!

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"1. No reply - she’s not interested!

Actually this is a written rule but often ignored.

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Won't meet smokers but 420 friendly? What do you do with it? Eat brownies?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single guys we'll find you if we need you ..as if the single guys are sitting around Twiddling their thumbs

not there thumbs anyway

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Laughter is more likely to have a woman removing her knickers than a 'dick pic'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a woman messages a guy first, then she's actually a guy

or your ex being a nutter

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

“Not meeting at the moment” means “I’ve never met anyone on here”.

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Ensure your verification of someone else leaves the reader in no doubt of YOUR sexual prowess...

"I met her and within seconds she was ripping my clothes off to get to my massive cock. I fucked her for 16 hours solid and made her squirt for the first time in her life. She took my mighty old style can girth like a trojan. She said she will delete her profile as no one will fuck her as well as I did ever again."

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By *inkytoggerMan
over a year ago

Tarporley

"4. If she doesn’t reply it’s cause she’s a fat ugly whore

This made me laugh but also ashamed of m my fellow men!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ensure your verification of someone else leaves the reader in no doubt of YOUR sexual prowess...

"
I just cackled so hard LOL

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Laughter is more likely to have a woman removing her knickers than a 'dick pic'

Too bloomin right

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By *r SproutMan
10 weeks ago

the middle somewhere

Apparently if you are friends on here you are not allowed to fab each other’s pictures

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