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Constructive criticism

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello everyone would like any advice info or help on this subject

It’s about sending a good first message trying to stand out and have the best chance of getting a response my first message is something like this

Subject “Hey Trouble” I think it’s fun and play

“How’s your day/night going been up to anything interesting” if someone has something specific in there bio then I try relate it to that but I can’t really think anything else to say so just try at the very least to come across as normal

So let me know what you think and where I can improve etc and don’t hold back thanks

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

If I'm honest the hey trouble would be off-putting for me not to read further.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok anything that could be put instead or just a simple “hello”

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Ok anything that could be put instead or just a simple “hello”"

Short and sweet message heading, a line or two as to what you specifically seen in their profile that made you want to make contact, and an invite for them to view you.

Then let what will be, be. Don't expect a reply and if one comes assume nothing.

Slowly slowly catchee monkey.

And make sure you show your personality and some humour.

A

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok cool thanks for the info

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As it's against forum rules to post the content of private messages, we can't actually tell you what to write - afraid you're going to have to figure that out for yourself.

Anyone you message is going to check out your profile before they even consider reading whatever you've sent them and so will likely have already come to a decision about you already.

You could craft the finest, wittiest, best constructed message ever written but if the person you've sent it to doesn't think you're a match or just doesn't fancy you, chances are it'll never get read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually start with a great clickbait headline like "You'll never guess what Alyson Hannigan looks like now!" and take it from there.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I'd switch straight off at trouble, probably wouldn't even bother reading the rest before sending a no thanks.

If I was in a good mood and did read the message, it'd probably get a "Fine." And nothing else. But then my profile does point out how much I loathe small talk.

If you're messaging so many people you need a draft saved to copy and paste, you're unlikely to be engaging enough to get a positive response.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok cool thanks for the response

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"As it's against forum rules to post the content of private messages, we can't actually tell you what to write - afraid you're going to have to figure that out for yourself.

Anyone you message is going to check out your profile before they even consider reading whatever you've sent them and so will likely have already come to a decision about you already.

You could craft the finest, wittiest, best constructed message ever written but if the person you've sent it to doesn't think you're a match or just doesn't fancy you, chances are it'll never get read"

This is usually my standard response but I'm in a good mood tonight.

But yes, the profile is key. The OP popped a thread up yesterday for feedback on that and it's not the worst I've seen.

But a valid point made.

A great profile can get away with a lesser message and a shite one could create the new Shakespeare epic and it would go unread.

A

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Ok cool thanks for the response "

Oh. And if you click reply+quote everyone will know which comment you're responding to. It helps, especially on advice threads.

A

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

Nothing wrong with 'hey trouble' if thats how you want to start a message...everyone will have different opinions of a good opening message...i think you should do you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok cool thanks for the response

Oh. And if you click reply+quote everyone will know which comment you're responding to. It helps, especially on advice threads.

A"

Like this lol

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

I think a blandly generic message like "how's your day ....?" etc., is really off-putting.

I would hope that you would be messaging a specific person for a specific reason rather than just trying to start a small talk conversation. Perhaps think about why you are actually messaging that person at that time and reference why? If you think how many generic messages attractive women and couples must get, yours could easily be lost in the swamp.

Best of luck though,

Gbat

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

It's not "if someone has something specific in their bio". You are trying to start a conversation not send out a mailshot. Women and couples get hundreds of generic messages. They are not worth answering.

You should say why you are messaging them. Maybe you like something on their profile. Maybe you like something they said on the forum. You need to show you have taken an interest in the person you are writing to. Why should they respond if you show you're not actually interested in them? It just makes look like you'll take anybody who will respond. That's not going to make anybody feel good.

So my question to you is: If you have nothing to say to somebody, why do you want to send them a message?

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