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Love and Peace  | |||
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"Decades" So no matter how many messages with my dick attached will change this?  | |||
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"Several months or years or forever. Mrs " I’ll just bide my time then……. or not mwhahahaha  | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. " Or we could just pull them to one side?  | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace "I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works. | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works."I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. Or we could just pull them to one side? "And? | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works."FFS NOOOOOOOOO that just makes it last longer!!!!! lol  | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace "I’m of the opinion it varies with the reason behind the twistage. | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. Or we could just pull them to one side?
And?"They’ll ‘untwist’ | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. " Because then I won't be able to perv on your profile. Don't be selfish! | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works "You could also tell her to relax either. That normally works right  | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I’m of the opinion it varies with the reason behind the twistage. "Remote vibrator antenna caught in them? | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.." Can it be the cheapo stuff? | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works
You could also tell her to relax either. That normally works right "Yeah, ‘relax love’ is my go to calming strategy. 60% of the time it works every time | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. " Because there's still the potential of meeting fantastic people on here, even if it doesn't always feel like that. I hope your grumpy isn't too bad PW and you're okay. | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff? "Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. " Would you be less grumpy without a profile? | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. Because there's still the potential of meeting fantastic people on here, even if it doesn't always feel like that. I hope your grumpy isn't too bad PW and you're okay." Exactly, Meli met me and her life has never been the same since | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti"The only wine I know is morning wine | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti"How about Blun Nun or Buckfast?? | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace "Never. You'll have to emigrate, take on an assumed identity and start a new profile. 
A | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
How about Blun Nun or Buckfast??"Blue nun*** | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine "Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace "2 months | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
Never.
You'll have to emigrate, take on an assumed identity and start a new profile.
A"Would it not be cheaper to just set up a fake profile? | |||
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"It depends on how she is distracted or how said knickers get removed. " This is very close to the answer I was looking for  | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.." Nah. Add 5 or 6 baby Guinness an Claire becomes a lamb. Works every time. | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works "That was a mistake, you should have said 'Babe' and 'Darling' and if she was still slightly upset (normally that would not be the case), I would suggest a coloquialism such as 'me duck'. Then I think you should sit her down and explain in a very detailed form why her position was untenable, and how you assume that it was cos of the time of the month, and once she's calmed down, suggest you go up to the bedroom as a nice bonk will get everything back on an even keel. yw | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol"Morning. It’s very bright yellow though | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though "Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it.. | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Nah. Add 5 or 6 baby Guinness a Claire becomes a lamb. Works every time. "This is a sentence I don’t think has ever been written before in the history of mankind | |||
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"2 weeks until she's allowed to post in the forum again after deleting the profile." Is probably an accurate answer  | |||
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"How longs a piece of string " The one on her tampon? | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works
That was a mistake, you should have said 'Babe' and 'Darling' and if she was still slightly upset (normally that would not be the case), I would suggest a coloquialism such as 'me duck'.
Then I think you should sit her down and explain in a very detailed form why her position was untenable, and how you assume that it was cos of the time of the month, and once she's calmed down, suggest you go up to the bedroom as a nice bonk will get everything back on an even keel.
yw"Not block her then? | |||
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"In my experience it could be anywhere between five minutes, and the Twelfth of Never. " I hope it’s 5mins cause there might be someone else who comes along shortly | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works
That was a mistake, you should have said 'Babe' and 'Darling' and if she was still slightly upset (normally that would not be the case), I would suggest a coloquialism such as 'me duck'.
Then I think you should sit her down and explain in a very detailed form why her position was untenable, and how you assume that it was cos of the time of the month, and once she's calmed down, suggest you go up to the bedroom as a nice bonk will get everything back on an even keel.
yw
Not block her then? "I've found they can get round the blocking. If you were to do that, I would also recommend changing all your social media accounts, your phone number, place of work, residence, and then maybe think about moving abroad for a few years. | |||
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"Are we allowed to say female?" Sorry, I meant fisherthem. | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it.."You do, but just the night before | |||
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"Depends how much cake you offer her" How about 2 fingers of a kitkat? | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace "who have you pissed off | |||
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"In my experience, 25years and counting " I would’ve completed Fab by then | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works
That was a mistake, you should have said 'Babe' and 'Darling' and if she was still slightly upset (normally that would not be the case), I would suggest a coloquialism such as 'me duck'.
Then I think you should sit her down and explain in a very detailed form why her position was untenable, and how you assume that it was cos of the time of the month, and once she's calmed down, suggest you go up to the bedroom as a nice bonk will get everything back on an even keel.
yw
Not block her then?
I've found they can get round the blocking. If you were to do that, I would also recommend changing all your social media accounts, your phone number, place of work, residence, and then maybe think about moving abroad for a few years. "I think I’ll just leave then | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
who have you pissed off "Nobody gets pissed off with me dude | |||
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"I'm still coming to terms by the remark that "female forumites" actually wear knickers. "They wear them deliberately to get twists in them | |||
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" Females NEVER forget ...Mrs4 still bangs on about stuff i did decades ago and i'd forgot all about !! reason most males in long term relationship have learnt the skill of sleeping with one eye open ?? lmfao xx ps or the nodding dog followed by yes dear xxx pps BUT pay some attention otherwise you'll end up decorating the perfectly good front room like i did xxx "So what your telling us is.... YOU NEVER LEARN. No sympathy. Sure the kitchen could do with a fresh lick of paint. GO Mrs C | |||
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" Females NEVER forget ...Mrs4 still bangs on about stuff i did decades ago and i'd forgot all about !! reason most males in long term relationship have learnt the skill of sleeping with one eye open ?? lmfao xx ps or the nodding dog followed by yes dear xxx pps BUT pay some attention otherwise you'll end up decorating the perfectly good front room like i did xxx "She’ll end up looking like a decorators radio if she’s not careful | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before "I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised ...off topic i know | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know "TY, I grew it myself | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know
TY, I grew it myself "Well done you!! | |||
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"What amazes me is how it still happens when they claim not to wear any" ^^ this  | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know
TY, I grew it myself
Well done you!!"It’s all yours | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know
TY, I grew it myself
Well done you!!
It’s all yours "Oh go on then. Down the M4 and then around the bend at the bottom | |||
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"Depends how much cake you offer her How about 2 fingers of a kitkat? "I'd prefer a finger of fudge | |||
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Mrs xxx | |||
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.. Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know
TY, I grew it myself
Well done you!!
It’s all yours
Oh go on then. Down the M4 and then around the bend at the bottom "I like the bottom | |||
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"Depends how much cake you offer her How about 2 fingers of a kitkat?
I'd prefer a finger of fudge "2 fingers? | |||
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"Depends how much cake you offer her How about 2 fingers of a kitkat?
I'd prefer a finger of fudge
2 fingers? "One is just enough | |||
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"What amazes me is how it still happens when they claim not to wear any" we are not wearing any at that point they turn into a rope ladder to rescue us. | |||
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"Depends how much cake you offer her How about 2 fingers of a kitkat?
I'd prefer a finger of fudge
2 fingers?
One is just enough "This is Mr isn’t it? | |||
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"What amazes me is how it still happens when they claim not to wear any we are not wearing any at that point they turn into a rope ladder to rescue us." Tremendous knockers | |||
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"Ok how long has it been? I'm not in a grumpy mood anymore." I don’t know cause I’ve not upset her yet | |||
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"Depends how much cake you offer her How about 2 fingers of a kitkat?
I'd prefer a finger of fudge
2 fingers?
One is just enough
This is Mr isn’t it? "Why, do you want to give him a treat? | |||
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"Depends how much cake you offer her How about 2 fingers of a kitkat?
I'd prefer a finger of fudge
2 fingers?
One is just enough
This is Mr isn’t it?
Why, do you want to give him a treat?"Sound him? Yes | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace "They usually get over it quicker if you take their mind of it with a cock up the jacksie. | |||
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"Depends on who twisted them, even when they are untwisted they are never quite the same, a kink always remains "There is nothing wrong with a good kink | |||
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"Ok how long has it been? I'm not in a grumpy mood anymore. I don’t know cause I’ve not upset her yet "So are you now asking for advice on how to upset her? Could I suggest you start a new thread, cos this might be fun and I need to go and boil the kettle. | |||
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"It usually goes away after I've punched someone" We’re lovers not fighters in here | |||
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"Depends on who twisted them, even when they are untwisted they are never quite the same, a kink always remains "Ooooooo we like kink on here | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
They usually get over it quicker if you take their mind of it with a cock up the jacksie."I like our make up sex granny | |||
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"Ok how long has it been? I'm not in a grumpy mood anymore. I don’t know cause I’ve not upset her yet
So are you now asking for advice on how to upset her? Could I suggest you start a new thread, cos this might be fun and I need to go and boil the kettle."Or start your own | |||
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"People still wear pants??? Oops "Yours look lovely on my bedroom floor | |||
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"Decades" Not an understatement, I can hold a grudge for England! | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace "As you called her “love” I would leave it for quite a while. And what I mean is you’re fucked | |||
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"People still wear pants??? Oops
Yours look lovely on my bedroom floor "I forgot where I'd put them. Be a dear and save them for me | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. " Makes a change you've got some on.... | |||
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"Decades Not an understatement, I can hold a grudge for England!" Can you hold some plums for that long too? | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
As you called her “love” I would leave it for quite a while. And what I mean is you’re fucked "Thanks love | |||
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"People still wear pants??? Oops
Yours look lovely on my bedroom floor
I forgot where I'd put them. Be a dear and save them for me "I’m wearing them | |||
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"Forever... It's always there, simmering away in the background." Do you boil bunnies? | |||
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"A while but it never gets completely forgotten about. When you least expect it she will hit you with “remember that time you….” Watch your back "Great my Fab career is over | |||
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"I mean I have knickers that spontaneously get themselves into a mathematically unsolvable knot. I generally just chuck them in a drawer and wait few months... " Do they wrap around the contents of your knickers though | |||
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"Advice sent to your inbox "I appreciate a fellow brother helping me out | |||
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"A while, she'll never forget though and it will be kept in the reserve ammo for a time it's needed " I’ve got loads on her, especially when she put that……………… | |||
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"Mate change identity skip the country or at the very least switch to fabguys...." At least they understand the offside rule on there | |||
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"A while, she'll never forget though and it will be kept in the reserve ammo for a time it's needed I’ve got loads on her, especially when she put that……………… " Did she not wash after you'd emptied? | |||
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"I mean I have knickers that spontaneously get themselves into a mathematically unsolvable knot. I generally just chuck them in a drawer and wait few months... Do they wrap around the contents of your knickers though "Well if you'd like to rummage in my knickers then get in touch. | |||
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"Mate change identity skip the country or at the very least switch to fabguys.... At least they understand the offside rule on there "Safe territory | |||
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"A while, she'll never forget though and it will be kept in the reserve ammo for a time it's needed I’ve got loads on her, especially when she put that……………… Did she not wash after you'd emptied? "I think she wants a mini Rex | |||
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
As you called her “love” I would leave it for quite a while. And what I mean is you’re fucked
Thanks love "You’re welcome dear | |||
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"20 years - if the sex is good. F " What if the sex is mediocre?  | |||
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"20 years - if the sex is good. F What if the sex is mediocre? "Then 35 years F | |||
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"20 years - if the sex is good. F What if the sex is mediocre?
Then 35 years
F"40 years it is then | |||
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"Forever... It's always there, simmering away in the background. Do you boil bunnies? "No, the bunnies are innocent! | |||
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"Forever... It's always there, simmering away in the background. Do you boil bunnies?
No, the bunnies are innocent!"I’m sleeping with one eye open around you then | |||
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"Forever... It's always there, simmering away in the background. Do you boil bunnies?
No, the bunnies are innocent!
I’m sleeping with one eye open around you then "Always a good idea | |||
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"Forever... It's always there, simmering away in the background. Do you boil bunnies?
No, the bunnies are innocent!
I’m sleeping with one eye open around you then
Always a good idea "I’m not going to sleep now | |||
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I? Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile. " Knicker untwisting is a mans job after all we are mostly responsible for the twisting. | |||
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"Who got stroppy? Save me reading?" ^^ don’t tell her. She’ll get her knickers in a twist then | |||
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"7 years. It’s like breaking a mirror. Seven years bad luck " To be fair the scowl she gives me would crack a mirror | |||
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"Who got stroppy? Save me reading? ^^ don’t tell her. She’ll get her knickers in a twist then "What knickers | |||
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"Never. Everyone knows what happens to a knot when it gets wet.. "Well that would entirely depend upon the knot. | |||
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"Who got stroppy? Save me reading? ^^ don’t tell her. She’ll get her knickers in a twist then
What knickers "Oh my  | |||
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"7 years. It’s like breaking a mirror. Seven years bad luck To be fair the scowl she gives me would crack a mirror "omg who pm me babes hope ur ok x | |||
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"Depends on who twisted them, even when they are untwisted they are never quite the same, a kink always remains "Nothing wrong with a few kinks. | |||
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"7 years. It’s like breaking a mirror. Seven years bad luck To be fair the scowl she gives me would crack a mirror
omg who
pm me babes
hope ur ok x"Thanks hun | |||
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"People still wear pants??? Oops
Yours look lovely on my bedroom floor
I forgot where I'd put them. Be a dear and save them for me
I’m wearing them "I look forward to peeling them off | |||
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