FabSwingers.com forum: Chuck Norris.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Once shot a stukka dive bomber down by pointing at it and saying "BANG".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snapped his fingers and snapped the pencil John Wick was trying to kill him with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waited in line for Wonko.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The candles on his birthday cake blow them selves out when he appreciates and his wish is instantly granted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Waited in line for Wonko."

I might let him skip so he can take his selfie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made megaton sit in the naughty corner wearing a dunce hat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should have died in 1993 but death is to scared to tell him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Once pissed in a trucks petrol tank for a joke, that truck is Optimus prime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Once pissed in a trucks petrol tank for a joke, that truck is Optimus prime

It's never needed fuel since

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Jesus walks on water, chuck swims through concrete.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris a bear rug in his bedroom, it's not a bear skin, the bears just to scared to move..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The air in space would keep him alive and put him back in the airlock he came out of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet he scares the shit out of it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The day he was born he drove his mum home from the hospital

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weeds refuse to grow in his garden

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

Only person whos feet touch the ground riding a Penny Farthing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only Chuck Norris can chuck Chuck Norris.

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups....he pushes to the earth down

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Won Quake Con using just gauntlet.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Only Chuck Norris can chuck Chuck Norris. "

Yeah, but how much norris could Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck norris?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his steak.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Chuck Norris makes a Happy Meal cry.

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

If Dwayne Johnson is The Rock, then Chuck Norris is Titanium.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

The only actor to beat Bruce Lee in an on screen fight in the way of the dragon *i think*

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Chuck Norris once ate a whole pack of Jaffa cakes

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Chuck Norris once ate a whole pack of Jaffa cakes

Savage

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By *urnedoutniceagainMan
over a year ago

louth

When he dives in water he doesn’t get wet the water gets Chick Norris

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"When he dives in water he doesn’t get wet the water gets Chick Norris "
chick does he cluck?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only Chuck Norris can chuck Chuck Norris.

Yeah, but how much norris could Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck norris?

Numbers don’t go that high.

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By *urnedoutniceagainMan
over a year ago

louth

"When he dives in water he doesn’t get wet the water gets Chick Norris chick does he cluck?

Gotta love spellcheck!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't recognise the periodic table of elements, the only element he recognises is the element of surprise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't move the earth moves from him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everlasting gob stoppers dissolve willingly on his tongue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God created live in 6 days because chuck norris commanded him to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some say there is no chin beneath his beard, just another fist.

Bess x

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Chuck Norris makes onions cry."

Apparently his tears cure cancer…. Shame he has never cried….

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Even superman wears chuck norris pajamas…

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Chuck Norris was up for the lead role of Jack Bauer in 24…… but he killed all the bad guys and solved the case in 43 minutes!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Chuck Norris doesn't recognise the periodic table of elements, the only element he recognises is the element of surprise."

[Ah] is the atomic formula.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Chuck Norris can never get injured in rodeo: all the horses and bulls, as they are too scared to chuck Norris!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Chuck Norris starts fires by rubbing his hands together.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

When Chuck Norris chucks a paper aeroplane it breaks the sound barrier.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Jesus turned water into wine. Chuck Norris took that wine and turned it into a Gin and Tonic, with ice, and a lemon twist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris pours gravity on his Sunday lunch

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

If Chuck Norris playd the $6million Dollar man: he would have survived intact and the runway would have needed a total rebuild.

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