FabSwingers.com forum: The case against group socials

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too much talking, not enough sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex."

Fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Venues.

I need to be sure its the sort of place that 6'+ 'lady' with bloke shoulders and big hands can safely get into and out of

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Venues.

I need to be sure its the sort of place that 6'+ 'lady' with bloke shoulders and big hands can safely get into and out of

If I can do it so can you

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Venues.

I need to be sure its the sort of place that 6'+ 'lady' with bloke shoulders and big hands can safely get into and out of

I got you covered

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Venues.

I need to be sure its the sort of place that 6'+ 'lady' with bloke shoulders and big hands can safely get into and out of

I got you covered

Count me with above. You just show up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Venues.

I need to be sure its the sort of place that 6'+ 'lady' with bloke shoulders and big hands can safely get into and out of

I got you covered

Can't think of a better wingman... Woman... Person.

Fuck it.

Cant think of a better winger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Venues.

I need to be sure its the sort of place that 6'+ 'lady' with bloke shoulders and big hands can safely get into and out of

I've got your back

Her

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've been to a few and have conflicting opinions on them.

First one was perfectly fine and most people there were very welcoming but I've been to a couple where the hosts didn't interact with anyone except a core group of friends.

The rooms were laid out like a wedding with huge tables taking up most of the floor space which made mingling impossible and the music was unbearable loud and prevented any normal conversation.

Others have been in poorly chosen venues that didn't flow at all.

Apart from that I've had experiences of people I've never spoken to or met approaching to say they recognised me from my pics in the chatgroup which was strange as I hadn't been in any chatgroup and wouldn't have shared pics even if I had been.

I've also had messages prior to events from some saying how much they were looking forward to meeting me on the night but because I was attending with a friend those same people refused to even acknowledge me when I walked up to them and said hello.

I know from previous threads that people have spoken about good and bad experiences and I've had both but the games that people play have put me off going to any more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been to a few and have conflicting opinions on them.

First one was perfectly fine and most people there were very welcoming but I've been to a couple where the hosts didn't interact with anyone except a core group of friends.

The rooms were laid out like a wedding with huge tables taking up most of the floor space which made mingling impossible and the music was unbearable loud and prevented any normal conversation.

Others have been in poorly chosen venues that didn't flow at all.

I know from previous threads that people have spoken about good and bad experiences and I've had both but the games that people play have put me off going to any more."

I remember you speaking of those experiences. And I'm sorry you were left with a bad taste. Hop on a plane and try some new ones perhaps? There is a social for everyone I believe. Just need to find your sort of "people" amongst the crowd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex."

I’ve said this before.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

I’ve said this before.

Isn't the clue in a name Social though?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Too far from me, so never saw the point in travelling a long distance, to meet people I'm unlikely to meet again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too far from me, so never saw the point in travelling a long distance, to meet people I'm unlikely to meet again

Sometimes I have felt the same!

But then some people are worth the travel and that one off hug. Carpe diem.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Distance really and the expense as well as the free time I’d need to attend.

Also I’m not great in a large crowd.

Also, if I were looking to meet I’d probably make an effort to attend a local group social, but also I’m shy so would probably talk myself out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve done a big brave thing and booked myself on my first big social.

Sex parties and clubs where I get to be naked and play. Absolutely fine.

Social only, where I need to talk to lots of people and interact with lots of strangers. Terrifying. I may still back out.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I just felt very awkward.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

"Too much talking, not enough sex."
we tend to lean towards this ... when we go to a club it is for a little chat and a lot of pleasure and pleasuring x Anne & George

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

Been to one in the past, but now I don't see the point may as well go to a club as you can socialise there.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Sigh. Too far and no-one, but no-one in my normal world knows about Davina. So I'll just watch from the sidelines.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Group Socials are very under rated as a way of meeting new potential sexual partners/ friends...

Get chatting, have a laugh and who knows what it will turn into ..

Imo it's really not all about let's meet and fuck straight away ..

Socials have changed my life completely and if I can do it anyone can

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

I’ve said this before.

Isn't the clue in a name Social though?

You would have thought so....

As a regular social attendee it opens up a side of fab that i would not be able to access otherwise. Or meet ppl I would not meet if I left it up to relying on fab one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Group Socials are very under rated as a way of meeting new potential sexual partners/ friends...

Get chatting, have a laugh and who knows what it will turn into ..

Imo it's really not all about let's meet and fuck straight away ..

Socials have changed my life completely and if I can do it anyone can

You are doing it very well Grumpy. I think you checked on us several times through the night and we felt looked after and included

good luck on Sat . Not that you need it !

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Been to one in the past, but now I don't see the point may as well go to a club as you can socialise there."

It's basically 2 hours for me in any direction to reach a club, but as much as I hate to agree with you, visiting a club is probably better

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

I’ve said this before.

Isn't the clue in a name Social though?

You would have thought so....

As a regular social attendee it opens up a side of fab that i would not be able to access otherwise. Or meet ppl I would not meet if I left it up to relying on fab one "

It's a nice non pressuring way to meet others indeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

I’ve said this before.

Isn't the clue in a name Social though?

I wasn’t talking about socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too couples heavy and felt more like a night out at a golf club.

Yes I know we’re a couple but single guys were pretty much excluded.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sigh. Too far and no-one, but no-one in my normal world knows about Davina. So I'll just watch from the sidelines.

I'm sorry. I hope the time comes when you feel comfortable introducing yourself as Davina in any circumstances.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I've only just started getting to socials this year but the two I have been to have been amazing.

It's so nice just to be able to chat and have a nice time with like minded people. They have helped me have more confidence in being able to meet people and I have also had some amazing experiences because of them that I definitely wouldn't have had otherwise.

I can't wait to go to more and hopefully get to some around the country

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

I’ve said this before.

Isn't the clue in a name Social though?

I wasn’t talking about socials.

That went over my head then

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Venues.

I need to be sure its the sort of place that 6'+ 'lady' with bloke shoulders and big hands can safely get into and out of

Similar issues, but different

Lots of (most) group social venues are not wheelchair accessible and it seems it's very difficult to find wheelchair accessible spaces that are appropriate for the events. I don't want to cause organisers problems so unless it's a social I know to be accessible, I'll probably not bother even asking. I might if I "know" an organiser. But it's really very awkward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love group socials but can see why people are against them if they want something more that jus chatting.

I can approach people easily enough at a social because I think they know there's no ulterior motive for me wanting to chat to them which is a vibe I definitely get going to clubs. That makes them a bit stand-offish and short in their replies which can really knock your confidence.

Group socials don't do that in the slightest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've enjoyed the ones I went to and i think the hosts did all they could to help people mix.. I'd love to see the Guest list in advance but understand why they are no longer shared (people being arsey etc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a serious note though, I'm actually pretty shit in large group situations. If my anxiety takes over, I wouldn't enjoy it and would feel extremely uncomfortable. I give props to people who can just work a room and chat shit to anyone, I'm just not that person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just felt very awkward. "

You tried and felt awkward ?

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Don't want all the women fighting over me #brocode

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones"

•

Personal issues, extraneous to Fab if I'm honest. But, as mentioned in an earlier thread, I've recently started attending and a few darling forumites are walking over the pieces of my broken shell of which I'm coming out of.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There is no way I can respond to everyone but I appreciate all input. From those who went and can encourage others who hesitate to those who shared they prefer clubbing/other activities! It's good to know all perspectives.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I've been to a few socials from another site that rhymes with Let Fife. They're always kinda meh and a bit awkward. I just end up having a few beers to talk to people, have an OK time and then head home and never really speak to them again.

Would rather just go to a fetish night, sex party or a fab meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't want all the women fighting over me #brocode"

Come come to London one let's see how this brucey online translates into real persona

I dare you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been to a few socials from another site that rhymes with Let Fife. They're always kinda meh and a bit awkward. I just end up having a few beers to talk to people, have an OK time and then head home and never really speak to them again.

Would rather just go to a fetish night, sex party or a fab meet."

I was looking at those. Sorry you had a meh experience.

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By *atalie..Woman
over a year ago

Bolton

I like a good group social, it's just like being in a pub filled with like minded people, and I can just be myself with a little bit of extra flirting, that might lead to sexy time in the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would I spend my time talking about sex when I could be having sex.

I am here just for the sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've enjoyed the ones I went to and i think the hosts did all they could to help people mix.. I'd love to see the Guest list in advance but understand why they are no longer shared (people being arsey etc) "

That creates potentially another sort of issues too - people asking mutual friends to investigate whether you are attending heh. Before my first forum social I had three women messaging me separately to nose about

and ask "who am I hoping to meet?"

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By *ackonceagain1777Couple
over a year ago

West Mids

"Too much talking, not enough sex. we tend to lean towards this ... when we go to a club it is for a little chat and a lot of pleasure and pleasuring x Anne & George "
This

we've read a few socials we're people do games, speed dating etc and can't think of anything we'd enjoy less to be honest! Love meeting new people just not for us x

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"Don't want all the women fighting over me #brocode

Come come to London one let's see how this brucey online translates into real persona

I dare you"

You can say you just wanna touch me ya know? Haha

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones"

I am new to all this and have found the socials an absolutely amazing way to meet people. I like clubs too though.

I want connections and friends on the scene as well as meets. Also I have never felt as comfortable in social situations as I have at the swingers socials.

I totally get why it doesn't appeal to others though. And I imagine some socials are better than others.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I wouldn't want to travel for one and just have never really fancied the idea of them

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By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

"Too much talking, not enough sex."

Agreed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been doing the socials all wrong then as I've managed the "sex" stuff after with no issues!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Don't want all the women fighting over me #brocode"

Come out to play player

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"Group Socials are very under rated as a way of meeting new potential sexual partners/ friends...

Get chatting, have a laugh and who knows what it will turn into ..

Imo it's really not all about let's meet and fuck straight away ..

Socials have changed my life completely and if I can do it anyone can

This! Our first meet together as a couple resulted from meeting someone at a social

Tinder x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Venues.

I need to be sure its the sort of place that 6'+ 'lady' with bloke shoulders and big hands can safely get into and out of

Similar issues, but different

Same plus I also have little free time.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I actually went to my first social after years of not bothering with them.

When I was in a couple our view was the same as seductivesecrets ^^. Too much talking not enough sex.

It was fun, I enjoyed it and I can see myself doing it again. I've talked with a few people since and they seem keen to go too in the future. So yay to socials

That's my nice for the day.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Sigh. Too far and no-one, but no-one in my normal world knows about Davina. So I'll just watch from the sidelines.

I'm sorry. I hope the time comes when you feel comfortable introducing yourself as Davina in any circumstances. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s the fear of being on the periphery and outside of everyone’s clique.

I tend to be ok one on one with people in a social setting but would find it awkward breaking into conversation with established groups.

I guess it all depends on the quality of the host, venue and openness of the attendees. I’m not a big fan of cliquey environments tbf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social anxiety, I prefer 1-2 people group settings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s the fear of being on the periphery and outside of everyone’s clique.

I tend to be ok one on one with people in a social setting but would find it awkward breaking into conversation with established groups.

I guess it all depends on the quality of the host, venue and openness of the attendees. I’m not a big fan of cliquey environments tbf. "

That's a very good point! It's easy to feel like an outsider to those who have been to multiple of those socials and have gotten to know each other. It's a shame to see and can only wish others can be more open towards new people

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"There’s the fear of being on the periphery and outside of everyone’s clique.

I tend to be ok one on one with people in a social setting but would find it awkward breaking into conversation with established groups.

I guess it all depends on the quality of the host, venue and openness of the attendees. I’m not a big fan of cliquey environments tbf.

I hear that Joe, but you were at your first social once, and probably felt the same way...but you kept doing them, got involved to get to know ppl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones"

Not a bit interested tbh , l'd rather meet a woman in a quiet , intimate place and chat , get to know each other, the woman also knows you are interested in her and only her at that time , it mightened be everyone's thing but it to me and it's think it's ok

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I can’t argue for the case against group socials OP as I love them

But then I’m a social butterfly and love meeting new people.

My only issue has been life stuff and living in the arse end of nowhere

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

I don't like people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like people"

Well said loll

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I can’t argue for the case against group socials OP as I love them

But then I’m a social butterfly and love meeting new people.

My only issue has been life stuff and living in the arse end of nowhere

Now don't use the word arse, cuz now I have to say can I be in your arse... FA ( Fancy Anal)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s the fear of being on the periphery and outside of everyone’s clique.

I tend to be ok one on one with people in a social setting but would find it awkward breaking into conversation with established groups.

I guess it all depends on the quality of the host, venue and openness of the attendees. I’m not a big fan of cliquey environments tbf.

I hear that Joe, but you were at your first social once, and probably felt the same way...but you kept doing them, got involved to get to know ppl "

That's true, I think with all this on Fab, you won't always get instant results. You need to persevere and tough it out a bit to get what you want out of it

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I can’t argue for the case against group socials OP as I love them

But then I’m a social butterfly and love meeting new people.

My only issue has been life stuff and living in the arse end of nowhere

Now don't use the word arse, cuz now I have to say can I be in your arse... FA ( Fancy Anal)

You made that one up. But yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simply put, crippling anxiety keeps me from attending any. I don’t even go to family functions because I don’t like being in room full of people I barely know. So there’s even less chance of me being in a room full of near strangers.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I have massive amounts of social anxiety and find the idea of group gatherings generally terrifying. I'm much more of a quiet one on one person when it comes to talking to people.

However, I sucked it up and went to the last Lounge social and met some honestly great people properly, and enjoyed the energy of the people around me that I didn't quite manage to talk to directly. I enjoyed it in my weird way, and will have my arse dragged to the next one too

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I can’t argue for the case against group socials OP as I love them

But then I’m a social butterfly and love meeting new people.

My only issue has been life stuff and living in the arse end of nowhere

Now don't use the word arse, cuz now I have to say can I be in your arse... FA ( Fancy Anal)

You made that one up. But yes

I just made it up....it was kinda flowing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A) Never knew about them.

B) I’m hopeless with a room full of strangers - introvert

Errr .. that’s it.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"There’s the fear of being on the periphery and outside of everyone’s clique.

I tend to be ok one on one with people in a social setting but would find it awkward breaking into conversation with established groups.

I guess it all depends on the quality of the host, venue and openness of the attendees. I’m not a big fan of cliquey environments tbf.

I hear that Joe, but you were at your first social once, and probably felt the same way...but you kept doing them, got involved to get to know ppl

That's true, I think with all this on Fab, you won't always get instant results. You need to persevere and tough it out a bit to get what you want out of it"

Exactly this, I read alot of ppl talking about social anxiety and it being a barrier to socials. Bit aren't willing to challenge it and at least try...

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I have massive amounts of social anxiety and find the idea of group gatherings generally terrifying. I'm much more of a quiet one on one person when it comes to talking to people.

I hope to chat to you more at the next one lovely

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I think I would go to one - Manchester was the first one I really intended to go to but timing proved less possible than I'd hoped. But I was still incredibly nervous about the prospect, whereas personal meets, public speaking, all sorts of things that might seem more scary, I'm 100% fine with.

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

Anxiety, not really comfortable trying to talk to people in a loud, noisy environment (hearing aid user so that's hell for me) and the regular socials have always seemed to be small groups of friends catching up with no interest in chatting to the newbie.

Oh, and being denied being put on the guest list for being trans. Yeah, that as well....

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By *adyinred696969Couple
over a year ago

Brecon

The Social scene in our part of Wales is huuuggee, just go check out the Welsh forum if you don't belive me.!

We love the socials, have made some awesome friends, and met some people who we have played with who we would probably never have bumped into otherwise.

A Social is a great way to re-connect with old friends, and make new ones, and if we don't end up playing back at our hotel, or theirs, there is usually an invite to play at a future date, so those that say there isn't enough sex could be missing out lol.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Group Socials are very under rated as a way of meeting new potential sexual partners/ friends...

Get chatting, have a laugh and who knows what it will turn into ..

Imo it's really not all about let's meet and fuck straight away ..

Socials have changed my life completely and if I can do it anyone can

You are doing it very well Grumpy. I think you checked on us several times through the night and we felt looked after and included

good luck on Sat . Not that you need it ! "

Aww ta

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Finedon ,

I have nothing against group socials but I am a massive introvert and would not feel comfortable even in a small crowd .

Also there is the issue of who would would want to chat to an 83 yr old guy?

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Not enough nibbles!

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I don't like people"

Helpful

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By *entlemanFoxMan
over a year ago

North East / London

As a concept socials are a great way to meet people, but practically it is often a case of too much noise, not enough talk. Constantly having to raise you voice to be heard over the muzak is just uncomfortable. Hearing loss from a misspent youth means it is often hard to hear what is being said, especially if they are softly spoken.

Paradoxically, really busy socials seem less social. People get in groups and tend to stick in them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have massive amounts of social anxiety and find the idea of group gatherings generally terrifying. I'm much more of a quiet one on one person when it comes to talking to people.

I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

Well at least now I know for next time so I'll come up to you and say Hi first. Don't fight it either!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

That's a good thing. Initiating conversation with someone I don't know is a challenge, having an excuse to happy word vomit about shoes is less of a problem for me, and then once I've spoken to someone a little bit they're not nearly as scary next time.

Plus, I like compliments, even if Lycan always rolls his eyes at people feeding my ego

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

And to think you were shy regarding Socials a couple of months ago

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

Because they are cattle markets.

The men are there to try and find any woman willing to fuck, and spend their time bitching. With the other single men about their lack of success, and the women are there to find that one special man to fuck and I get bored of telling them no.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo."

Right!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo."

This is not our experience at all, albeit we've only been to the Manchester social. Twice or three times now. But definitely no cattle market (how rude!) etc. But then again, are you doing the "social" bit right, if you're just looking for someone to fuck? We've fucked precisely no-one off the back of group socials and that's absolutely fine, because we went to socialise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Simply put, crippling anxiety keeps me from attending any. I don’t even go to family functions because I don’t like being in room full of people I barely know. So there’s even less chance of me being in a room full of near strangers. "

I understand I think.

That's a tough thing to live with as I have suffered myself although not in the same way as yourself. It's okay to do your own thing. It's okay to protect oneself.

So to anyone who's had a similar reason for not attending- you don't miss out. You keep yourself steady, no triggers. And that is important self care.

I shall get back to this thread tomorrow. X

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo."

That really isn't how it works dude .. If that's your opinion to start with then maybe you won't get far

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

Plus, I like compliments, even if Lycan always rolls his eyes at people feeding my ego

Pfft what do men know - egos always need feeding when we are in scary circumstances!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo."

How many you've attended out of curiosity?

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

And to think you were shy regarding Socials a couple of months ago

Oh I'm still terrified when I'm walking into the room on my own wondering if I'm going to literally fall flat on my face - but I'm working on not worrying so much

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not enough nibbles!

I've had so many lovely cakes at several socials

but a picnic social could be an idea too

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

And to think you were shy regarding Socials a couple of months ago

Oh I'm still terrified when I'm walking into the room on my own wondering if I'm going to literally fall flat on my face - but I'm working on not worrying so much

That’s ok if you do. I’ll catch you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have nothing against group socials but I am a massive introvert and would not feel comfortable even in a small crowd .

Also there is the issue of who would would want to chat to an 83 yr old guy?

Everyone. Host would introduce you to regulars and made sure you were looked after

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo.

How many you've attended out of curiosity?"

This year so far it has been maybe 1 every couple of months.

Previous years it eas 1-2 a month maybe more.

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo."

I haven’t found that….usually if there is a guy (or girl) being a creeper it’s very uncommon and they are usually shown the door. If you have been to a social like that then that’s not how it should be and if you haven’t been to one and just making assumptions hopefully one day you will be proved wrong

I get super nervous before the group socials….I do force myself to get out of my comfort zone though as the positives are far better than the nerves and worrying and they are a lot of fun. But I can see how daunting they seem to someone who hasn’t been to one!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

[Removed by poster at 14/06/23 23:03:57]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo.

How many you've attended out of curiosity?

This year so far it has been maybe 1 every couple of months.

Previous years it eas 1-2 a month maybe more."

Why do you keep going in spite of the views you developed? That's pretty frequent for group socials !

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

And to think you were shy regarding Socials a couple of months ago

Oh I'm still terrified when I'm walking into the room on my own wondering if I'm going to literally fall flat on my face - but I'm working on not worrying so much

Be like me and just go with the flow .. You now know we are mainly all a friendly bunch

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I would love to go to an Essex/London social but my anxiety would really play havoc on my mind and make out I shouldn’t be there.

Eh, is what it is.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo.

How many you've attended out of curiosity?

This year so far it has been maybe 1 every couple of months.

Previous years it eas 1-2 a month maybe more."

This isn't my experience of socials, so I have a question for you if there awful in your opinion why do you attend so many?..

Something doesn't kind of ring true as to what your saying here..

What your telling us and showing us do not tally up...

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo.

Not my experience and how judgemental do you come across, and really arrogant tbf. Having to tell all these women no...what a guy..

As single man who does socials, I have never seen anything like this go on. So I'm guessing your living in fantasy land in your own head as to what actually does happen at organised socials "

Who's the one invalidating someone else's experience, and you call me arrogant. You do you babe, and I’ll happily do the ones that want me!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would love to go to an Essex/London social but my anxiety would really play havoc on my mind and make out I shouldn’t be there.

Eh, is what it is. "

Is there anything what could be done to ease that ?

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo.

How many you've attended out of curiosity?

This year so far it has been maybe 1 every couple of months.

Previous years it eas 1-2 a month maybe more.

Why do you keep going in spite of the views you developed? That's pretty frequent for group socials ! "

Honestly? A combination of boredom, curiosity and social experimentation.

In my experience what helps with socials is the host.

Someone who makes sure everyone is introduced is a far cry from someone who arranges socials just to find fuck meat.

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

"I would love to go to an Essex/London social but my anxiety would really play havoc on my mind and make out I shouldn’t be there.

Eh, is what it is.

Is there anything what could be done to ease that ? "

Truthfully I don’t think there is, it’s an internal “thing” I need to push past and assert my mind into going and ignore what my anxiety is telling me.

It is something I’m working on after suffering with it for 2 years almost.

but thank you though.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo.

Not my experience and how judgemental do you come across, and really arrogant tbf. Having to tell all these women no...what a guy..

As single man who does socials, I have never seen anything like this go on. So I'm guessing your living in fantasy land in your own head as to what actually does happen at organised socials

Who's the one invalidating someone else's experience, and you call me arrogant. You do you babe, and I’ll happily do the ones that want me!"

As per my second comment...babe...

I reiterate what your saying doesn't match up with what your displaying...my question stands, why would you continue to go to socials, if thete so terrible in your experience.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

And to think you were shy regarding Socials a couple of months ago

Oh I'm still terrified when I'm walking into the room on my own wondering if I'm going to literally fall flat on my face - but I'm working on not worrying so much

That’s ok if you do. I’ll catch you

My hero - do I get to kiss you as a thank you

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

A lot depends on the people organising the social, but also the venue and the costs. Most have been free and we (I normally attend with my partner as a couple) have at least chatted to some great people. One of our first socials did end up in a foursome at 5am, but most were just to network. I am personally not a social butterfly, prefer to listen than talk, also hardly ever drink alcohol. What is more, I can't stand for too long, and most socials we've been to, the socialising was done standing up.

One of our last socials, the place was almost empty but the DJ had Ibiza ambitions- was playing music so loud I could not even hear my partner talking, and he was sitting right next to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because they are cattle markets.

I also have no desire to play verification bingo.

How many you've attended out of curiosity?

This year so far it has been maybe 1 every couple of months.

Previous years it eas 1-2 a month maybe more.

Why do you keep going in spite of the views you developed? That's pretty frequent for group socials !

Honestly? A combination of boredom, curiosity and social experimentation.

In my experience what helps with socials is the host.

Someone who makes sure everyone is introduced is a far cry from someone who arranges socials just to find fuck meat."

I see. Of course a good host will set the tone for the event but cannot be held responsible for attitude of people in the room. Or their intentions for that matters. I invite you to try new ones - as a matter of social experiment. Just perhaps don't be too harsh after, they do try their best. Can't satisfy everyone after all.

May I ask were the socials you attended held at clubs with play after or just pure social gatherings ? Trying to understand why you'd say what you did in the original comment.

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

"As per my second comment...babe...

I reiterate what your saying doesn't match up with what your displaying...my question stands, why would you continue to go to socials, if thete so terrible in your experience."

Theres fuck all on the telly!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"As per my second comment...babe...

I reiterate what your saying doesn't match up with what your displaying...my question stands, why would you continue to go to socials, if thete so terrible in your experience.

Theres fuck all on the telly!"

And completed porn hub

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

We love them. We've organised one before and been to several.

We'd love to do other but they're all too far for a round trip and our overnight stay away opportunities are so bloody thin on the ground its unreal.

Add the frustration that the nearest regular large one doesn't allow single males and its annoying.

They're great for networking, putting faces to names (even if you never have any intention of getting jiggy with someone) and building contacts for later events and/or play meets.

I get some people are anxious in large groups (Fox is believe it or not) but essentially they're just a real life version of the forum lounge. You'll not be interested in engaging with everyone, some you'll be keen to avoid and others you'll become good friends with, either just online or in real life too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would love to go to an Essex/London social but my anxiety would really play havoc on my mind and make out I shouldn’t be there.

Eh, is what it is.

Is there anything what could be done to ease that ?

Truthfully I don’t think there is, it’s an internal “thing” I need to push past and assert my mind into going and ignore what my anxiety is telling me.

It is something I’m working on after suffering with it for 2 years almost.

but thank you though.

You are working on it. That's fantastic. Small steps and all. *hugs*

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Too much talking, not enough sex."

Broadly this

We like chatting to people at Clubs as we are in the mood to play and the venue is awaiting. Meeting in a non play environment feels a bit like speed dating. Nothing against it really, but would so rather do it in a Club where we could satisfy our desires…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As per my second comment...babe...

I reiterate what your saying doesn't match up with what your displaying...my question stands, why would you continue to go to socials, if thete so terrible in your experience.

Theres fuck all on the telly!

And completed porn hub "

I'm glad that's sorted between you two

he did answer same question asked by me somewhere above btw.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Distance, and the rest of life! I will make the MLS one day, I will...

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Distance, and the rest of life! I will make the MLS one day, I will...

Mrs TMN x"
make it soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex."

If I hosted a social I’d play that song that goes ‘a little less conversation’

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones"

Interesting question…

Actually… as an OG… they aren’t what they used to be! In that they have become so local everyone now lives in their own little bubbles and doesn’t look outside

For example… 1 Saturday night there was a social in Sheffield, a social in Leeds, and a social in Manchester…

All basically canablising the same people who could have gone to all 3… if organisers had liaised with each other… which nobody does anymore!

I am going to sound old.. but back in the day organisers would absolutely have talked to each other, it was almost like an unofficial code of honour, to get dates so they are more spread out and people from all over the country could organise to make a bloody good weekend of it!

Localisation and local chat rooms killed the big classic socials/munches of old

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

"I would love to go to an Essex/London social but my anxiety would really play havoc on my mind and make out I shouldn’t be there.

Eh, is what it is.

Is there anything what could be done to ease that ?

Truthfully I don’t think there is, it’s an internal “thing” I need to push past and assert my mind into going and ignore what my anxiety is telling me.

It is something I’m working on after suffering with it for 2 years almost.

but thank you though.

You are working on it. That's fantastic. Small steps and all. *hugs* "

*hugs* thank you, that means a lot.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

If I hosted a social I’d play that song that goes ‘a little less conversation’ "

Would you play it really loudly so no-one could hear each other?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"As per my second comment...babe...

I reiterate what your saying doesn't match up with what your displaying...my question stands, why would you continue to go to socials, if thete so terrible in your experience.

Theres fuck all on the telly!

And completed porn hub

I'm glad that's sorted between you two

he did answer same question asked by me somewhere above btw. "

All's good, I did see that he answered. But it still doesn't ring true. But then that's only my perception of things, which admitly could be wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

If I hosted a social I’d play that song that goes ‘a little less conversation’

Would you play it really loudly so no-one could hear each other?"

If I hosted a social it would be a silent disco.

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

If I hosted a social I’d play that song that goes ‘a little less conversation’ "

The defence rests your honour

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I actually didn't realize it was you despite you sitting behind me for a good while so I believe you there!

As soon as I saw you I thought "Hey that's JoeBeans I should say hi" and then promptly returned to my weird recluse thing without acting on it

But I jumped you as you were just trying trying to get back upstairs so I could say how amazing your shoes were

And to think you were shy regarding Socials a couple of months ago

Oh I'm still terrified when I'm walking into the room on my own wondering if I'm going to literally fall flat on my face - but I'm working on not worrying so much

That’s ok if you do. I’ll catch you

My hero - do I get to kiss you as a thank you

It would be rude not to

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Too much talking, not enough sex.

If I hosted a social I’d play that song that goes ‘a little less conversation’

Would you play it really loudly so no-one could hear each other?

If I hosted a social it would be a silent disco. "

Shall we communicate with sign language? Or semaphore?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A) Never knew about them.

B) I’m hopeless with a room full of strangers - introvert

Errr .. that’s it. "

Some are advertised in Meets section some on Swinging events. Ask away here if you need to know anything. Maybe we can give you some hope!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve done a big brave thing and booked myself on my first big social.

Sex parties and clubs where I get to be naked and play. Absolutely fine.

Social only, where I need to talk to lots of people and interact with lots of strangers. Terrifying. I may still back out. "

Good vibes for your first one and hope it all goes smooth!

Tell your friends now when you feel confident so they can stop you from talking yourself out?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anxiety, not really comfortable trying to talk to people in a loud, noisy environment (hearing aid user so that's hell for me) and the regular socials have always seemed to be small groups of friends catching up with no interest in chatting to the newbie.

Oh, and being denied being put on the guest list for being trans. Yeah, that as well...."

That's a lot of challenges to face for one person. I do hope that bringing this up to the table will help all the hosts to consider those challenges such a accessibility issues mentioned by KC and Wheely somewhere on the thread, hearing impairment when the venue has loud music and definitely equal opportunities for all to attend.

Thank you for sharing this. That's important.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones

Interesting question…

Actually… as an OG… they aren’t what they used to be! In that they have become so local everyone now lives in their own little bubbles and doesn’t look outside

For example… 1 Saturday night there was a social in Sheffield, a social in Leeds, and a social in Manchester…

All basically canablising the same people who could have gone to all 3… if organisers had liaised with each other… which nobody does anymore!

Localisation and local chat rooms killed the big classic socials/munches of old"

Glad you brought this up!

A decade ago there'd be less.

Maybe one or two per year, generally somewhere central(ish) where people would come from far and wide and make it a weekend break. We did such socials in Birmingham, Manchester and at Jaydees. Yes, they were all held in swingers clubs (Xtasia and Cupids were the other two venues) but they were huge forum events that built ip over a couple of months, had guest lists so you'd know who was going, the events didn't require any membership to attend and only nominal (if any) entry fee.

They were socials if you wanted to just be social and could (if you chose) include play.

Hundreds attended. People booked out entire hotels locally. They were proper parties, rather than just people sitting in a bar chatting and having a drink more two - before many move on to hotels for fun anyway.

Yes, some don't like the concept of socials in clubs but like any club visit sex was never guaranteed in any way, shape or form. Having the option to indulge on the premises was just an added bonus.

Hell. We even hijacked a vanilla guy from the bar at a Prem Inn at one and took him with us. He's still on Fab some 9 years later!

Maybe the multitude of socials now is half the problem? They're no longer as special as they once were and its easy to skip one and just go next month?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I would go to one - Manchester was the first one I really intended to go to but timing proved less possible than I'd hoped. But I was still incredibly nervous about the prospect, whereas personal meets, public speaking, all sorts of things that might seem more scary, I'm 100% fine with. "

There are couple Manchester ones coming up so another chance is just around the corner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones

Interesting question…

Actually… as an OG… they aren’t what they used to be! In that they have become so local everyone now lives in their own little bubbles and doesn’t look outside

For example… 1 Saturday night there was a social in Sheffield, a social in Leeds, and a social in Manchester…

All basically canablising the same people who could have gone to all 3… if organisers had liaised with each other… which nobody does anymore!

Localisation and local chat rooms killed the big classic socials/munches of old"

Do you think maybe with the cost of making a weekend of it, social organisers are aware of it and think they need to complete with other events organisers so that theirs isn't the one people miss if it's a week or two after another social?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have massive amounts of social anxiety and find the idea of group gatherings generally terrifying. I'm much more of a quiet one on one person when it comes to talking to people.

Nah. Not weird. We haven't spoken but I like that you said you enjoyed energy of people around you. I think that's what I need too. I don't have to speak to many but I have to leave feeling my social cup was refilled rather than emptied.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones

Interesting question…

Actually… as an OG… they aren’t what they used to be! In that they have become so local everyone now lives in their own little bubbles and doesn’t look outside

For example… 1 Saturday night there was a social in Sheffield, a social in Leeds, and a social in Manchester…

All basically canablising the same people who could have gone to all 3… if organisers had liaised with each other… which nobody does anymore!

Localisation and local chat rooms killed the big classic socials/munches of old

Glad you brought this up!

A decade ago there'd be less.

They were socials if you wanted to just be social and could (if you chose) include play.

Yes, some don't like the concept of socials in clubs but like any club visit sex was never guaranteed in any way, shape or form. Having the option to indulge on the premises was just an added bonus.

Hell. We even hijacked a vanilla guy from the bar at a Prem Inn at one and took him with us. He's still on Fab some 9 years later!

Maybe the multitude of socials now is half the problem? They're no longer as special as they once were and its easy to skip one and just go next month?

I am going to sound really old.. but I can name the classic munches… 300 people at Glasgow, persuading a Nottingham city centre pub to close for a social on a Saturday night… and so many people came they happily did it 3 years in a row, in Wigan we took over a cricket club, Manchester it was a club in the gay village, Bristol, Bournemouth, Doncaster it was 2 hotels next to each other, York was and Newcastle it was pubs..

Because organers liaised… they were spread… they were a great place to catch up with names and faces from all over the country…. They weren’t linked to clubs, they were a bloody good night out

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

"As per my second comment...babe...

I reiterate what your saying doesn't match up with what your displaying...my question stands, why would you continue to go to socials, if thete so terrible in your experience.

Theres fuck all on the telly!

And completed porn hub

I'm glad that's sorted between you two

he did answer same question asked by me somewhere above btw. "

Let me know the next social you are going to, and if I can make it we hide away in a corner and play “social bingo”.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Some perhaps don't go, as they'd possibly not recognise many of the men, unless they had a cock pic badge showing.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I like the idea of big socials more than the reality. So far, anyway. The smaller ones I’ve been to have been lovely. The big ones … I live in hope, so I’ll probably try them again.

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By *zwald92Man
over a year ago

Scarborough

"As per my second comment...babe...

I reiterate what your saying doesn't match up with what your displaying...my question stands, why would you continue to go to socials, if thete so terrible in your experience.

Theres fuck all on the telly!

And completed porn hub

I'm glad that's sorted between you two

he did answer same question asked by me somewhere above btw.

Let me know the next social you are going to, and if I can make it we hide away in a corner and play “social bingo”."

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By *zwald92Man
over a year ago

Scarborough

Anyone wanna shag me?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Those of you who chose not to go to them - why not ?

Or perhaps I should ask - what stopped you from going so far? If it's not a firm NO.

Tones

Interesting question…

Actually… as an OG… they aren’t what they used to be! In that they have become so local everyone now lives in their own little bubbles and doesn’t look outside

For example… 1 Saturday night there was a social in Sheffield, a social in Leeds, and a social in Manchester…

All basically canablising the same people who could have gone to all 3… if organisers had liaised with each other… which nobody does anymore!

Localisation and local chat rooms killed the big classic socials/munches of old

That’s the thing… it wasn’t competing! It was collaborating! So if the Yorkshire room and the north west room and the midlands room for example were organising social events they would spread them out so as many people could attend… people don’t go outside of their own little rooms anymore

Local chat rooms basically killed off the big socials of old….

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Anyone wanna shag me?"

You'll force to take me out the back of the social event venue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This will be a very unpopular comment but they just don't feel that social to me.

The last few Glasgow socials I've been to reminded me why I hadn't been to one for a while.

A huge amount of work goes into planning these events and looking at the comments following them, I seem to be the odd one out.

That being, I'd really like to attend a lounge one as I think that would feel different.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"Too much talking, not enough sex."

Agree

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I love the group socials o fond it so much easier meeting people at face value than on fab, there has been people we've met I wouldn't have looked twice at the profile but we've clicked and it's been great then others we've loved the profile but just didn't click.

There always fun I guess you get out what you put in, they can be a bit clicky at times but it's just friends who know each other, you have to try join in too.

Mrs

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By *ussle SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

"I’ve done a big brave thing and booked myself on my first big social.

Sex parties and clubs where I get to be naked and play. Absolutely fine.

Social only, where I need to talk to lots of people and interact with lots of strangers. Terrifying. I may still back out. "

Don’t back out, it’s just daunting thinking about it. I was exactly the same before my first one. I’m so glad I went in the end and have been to more since. All have been great nights and I’ve met some fantastic people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It kind of feels like everyone else knows each other and I'd definitely be Billy no mates sat in their own as I really cannot do small talk. I can't stand being in a group where everyone has someone to talk to except me. It's a really unpleasant feeling. *shrugs* guess I'm just socially awkward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be to big a draw. The numbers attending would get out if hand and the security requirements would just be prohibitive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd all be so attracted to me, that I'd have to beat some of you off with a stick while the others formed an orderly queue to felate me, and it's just unfair for y'all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven’t chose to not go, I just haven’t had time yet. Can someone organise a Nottingham one please?

Been tempted to go to the Manchester one also and catch up and see faces that I chat to regularly on here.

Tom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'd all be so attracted to me, that I'd have to beat some of you off with a stick while the others formed an orderly queue to felate me, and it's just unfair for y'all

That's exactly why I don't go anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would be to big a draw. The numbers attending would get out if hand and the security requirements would just be prohibitive "

The queue would be like at the Queen's funeral. I'd get in line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'd all be so attracted to me, that I'd have to beat some of you off with a stick while the others formed an orderly queue to felate me, and it's just unfair for y'all

That's exactly why I don't go anymore. "

Because you can't suck me off? Aw Babs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The queue would be like at the Queen's funeral. I'd get in line."

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I haven’t chose to not go, I just haven’t had time yet. Can someone organise a Nottingham one please?

Been tempted to go to the Manchester one also and catch up and see faces that I chat to regularly on here.

Tom"

I agree on the Nottingham social (you should do it Tom!!

)

We love group socials, but with limited free time we have to decide if our free evenings are social or play, we usually choose social but have been lucky once or twice and got both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The queue would be like at the Queen's funeral. I'd get in line.

Phil and Holly would be made to join the back of the queue and wait their turn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'd all be so attracted to me, that I'd have to beat some of you off with a stick while the others formed an orderly queue to felate me, and it's just unfair for y'all

That's exactly why I don't go anymore.

Because you can't suck me off? Aw Babs

Yes!

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

We liked so called group socials as gives everyone ( in theory) a chance to meet others ? but finding a venue is harder nowadays and way to many actually do expect "Sex" as we found out to our cost ?? and huge difference between a "Social" and a "Sex" party ? but some struggle with it seems but the clue is in the use of words and google can help ....

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

I went to a mini social once and the lack of discretion 'out in public' really put me off. I left early.

Not tried a big social yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'd all be so attracted to me, that I'd have to beat some of you off with a stick while the others formed an orderly queue to felate me, and it's just unfair for y'all

That's exactly why I don't go anymore.

Because you can't suck me off? Aw Babs

Yes!

Aw ok you can if you play with my balls and stick a finger bang me at the same time as noshing me off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven’t chose to not go, I just haven’t had time yet. Can someone organise a Nottingham one please?

Been tempted to go to the Manchester one also and catch up and see faces that I chat to regularly on here.

Tom

I agree on the Nottingham social (you should do it Tom!!

)

We love group socials, but with limited free time we have to decide if our free evenings are social or play, we usually choose social but have been lucky once or twice and got both

D."

I think you two should….. I don’t usually have the time to attend any let alone organise

But I’d make time to go

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've been to a few socials and some have been good craic others have put me off going again.

Usually I find the music is so loud it is almost impossible to keep a conversation going at them. I also got hassled at one for hours by a guy in a couple who wouldn't take no as an answer.Even when in the end I was very abrupt with him he still wouldn't let me alone. I ended up leaving early with my friend that I went with.

I found a few of them are set up badly so it's hard to mingle and approach a table to chat as well as quite often the people are happy out in their circles and don't want to chat to anyone new.

They are a bit like the forums they have their own place on fab,but they are not for everyone .

But all in all my experience of them are they are okay but maybe I'm just too old to be dealing with the loud music,the hassle when someone won't just fuck off and leave you alone when asked to. I'm more of an introvert and prefer smaller groups than larger ones anyhow. I know I wouldn't be rushing to any large ones anytime soon anyhow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It kind of feels like everyone else knows each other and I'd definitely be Billy no mates sat in their own as I really cannot do small talk. I can't stand being in a group where everyone has someone to talk to except me. It's a really unpleasant feeling. *shrugs* guess I'm just socially awkward. "

Snap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve been to one before but the venue was a bit too small for the amount of people so it wasn’t much fun. Nowhere to sit or even stand for most of it so we left pretty quickly and went to Pandora. Now that was a lot more fun!

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

I suppose I'll chime in me too. There's something intimidating about larger groups. Individuals and smaller groups are better. As others mentioned music at a level that makes conversation difficult doesn't help.

A terrible memory for names and faces doesn't help. I'll remember things said and events going back decades but not faces. So yeah, I'll sparkle

better in smaller groups.

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By *amnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

tf1

I’ve never really seen the point of them to be honest. I can just go to my local club and be social.

Personally I’d rather go to the club and find someone to play with.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I’m too chicken to go alone, I fear being left in a corner like those days at the school disco. I’d rather not feel like that again so not taking the risk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We considered one not so long ago.

We asked for our names to be added to the list, but as we got closer to the date we realised there was no chance we could make it, so had to cancel.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

My social life and my sex life a very different. As the swinging side of my life only plays a very small part in my life, I like to devote the small amount of time I get to actually playing rather than socialising.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Just your normal everyday social anxiety of trying to find someone to comfortably talk to in large groups of people

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We love group socials .Everyone we’ve met and become friends with we have met through a group social.It eliminates all the time wasters and fantasist’s.

We just use fab now for keeping in touch with people we have already met.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I haven’t chose to not go, I just haven’t had time yet. Can someone organise a Nottingham one please?

Been tempted to go to the Manchester one also and catch up and see faces that I chat to regularly on here.

Tom

I agree on the Nottingham social (you should do it Tom!!

)

We love group socials, but with limited free time we have to decide if our free evenings are social or play, we usually choose social but have been lucky once or twice and got both

I think you two should….. I don’t usually have the time to attend any let alone organise

But I’d make time to go "

There is a Notts "cake" social and a Derby social

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wanted to say thanks for all the responses. And what a wide variety of them too!

But especially thankful to Fabio and ObiFox sharing their stories of "how it used to be". These kind of stories make me wish I've had a time vehicle.

Cooperation is definitely a sentiment I could get behind if I ever organised a social. Not clashing and effectively not forcing people to pick one. There will be some obviously aimed specifically at locals but open to anyone from all over the country. I'm envious of your golden era in a way. The rising cost of accommodation and travel is definitely something which gets in a way of many plans, although booking a whole hotel would probably save some money and could negotiate a special rate perhaps?

Reading those memories I came to conclusion that in the past they were so infrequent yet so many people managed to attend them cause they knew they only had one to three chances a year to do so. These days they are more like fast fashion. Collection out every few weeks - social every few weeks. Does it make less special, less awaited or we just adjusted to current needs of the community? Who knows. I don't see why we couldn't bring up the old model again. But I'm an optimist in this case as someone said to me last night when we reflected on your replies.

For those of you who still sit on the fence - hope those comments help you make a decision to take a leap rather than put you off.

For those who prefer other ways of spending their time with fab people - continue to enjoy your lifestyle

And also thanks to those who shared both good and bad experience and how they overcame their worries. What a well rounded pot of views we got as a result.

Tones.

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