FabSwingers.com forum: A balancing act...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

So I don't just post about sex, flirting... you get the idea. I can't be predictable.

When someone upsets you - how do you respond? Are you quick to discuss it, more likely to take time away to think? Do you turn to friends or process it yourself?

Do you find it easy to move past or are you a one slight and you're out sort of person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Booo!! We miss the sex posts!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

I just seek advice from Dear Deidre. I find the advice from the Sun and Fab are very much akin...

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I cut off their heads and take their quickenings.

There can be only one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell them immediately if it’s someone close to me. A relative stranger I usually message my sister and have a rant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I don't just post about sex, flirting... you get the idea. I can't be predictable.

When someone upsets you - how do you respond? Are you quick to discuss it, more likely to take time away to think? Do you turn to friends or process it yourself?

Do you find it easy to move past or are you a one slight and you're out sort of person? "

I tend to stew over it and then plan my revenge.

Usually over a period of nine years.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Depends on the people, what was said and what the intent was. Family fights are probably the worst. People closest to you and that........

Friends will fall into 2 groups, first can be a brutally say anything conversation. Or it's noted.

If i don't really know them then, meh.

I might discuss with a third party for their opinion but I'm pretty insular

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I usually go quiet and into myself to process things first and deal with emotions then maybe talk to a close friend to confirm what I'm feeling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how well I know the person and whether or not the friendship is worth saving.

I wish I could let things go but don't find it easy to and can remember issues or gripes from years ago

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’ve noticed I withdraw to process. Am I upset with them, something else that I’m projecting on them, am I not feeling well, do I need to talk it through with them or just digest it myself, are they in the right space to hear me etc.

I usually just have a cry. Then get out again and enjoy life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s an upside to me being billy no mates. Nobody to upset me or let me down.

Winner winner.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Usually a rant im a completely different man than i used to be im pretty in control about most things in my life so its rare i get upset as im not that invested in anything or anyone like i once was it makes life much easier but boy is it dull mind you

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

It depends it's either immediately state this has pissed me off for whatever reason or I'll go quiet while I process it then speak later if I still think there's a need.

Mrs

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Booo!! We miss the sex posts!

Oi Pickles, simmer down - I can't just be sex sex sex all the time. My green arrow needs to be well rounded.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I just put the phone down on someone who doesn't upset me, per se, but didn't deserve any more of my time, listening to his awful life.

I'm not an emotional punch bag.

If I talk to him later he'll tell me I was taking his crap personal and he was generalising. I wasn't and he wasn't.

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

"So I don't just post about sex, flirting... you get the idea. I can't be predictable.

When someone upsets you - how do you respond? Are you quick to discuss it, more likely to take time away to think? Do you turn to friends or process it yourself?

Do you find it easy to move past or are you a one slight and you're out sort of person? "

If I feel like I can at that moment, I bring it up with them. If not, I usually sit and process it a while then mention it to friends for their advice!

I used to stew on things for a long time, learning to move on a little faster nowadays

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By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over

Afternoon all

For me, it would depend how they've upset me, and how often I guess.

I've had this recently with a good buddy - the first time I ranted at him and let him know how much he had upset me, but the second time, I just went quiet.

If I'm quiet, something is bothering me. He's not reached out so I guess that's that, which has added to the hurt really, but life goes on and I won't let the buggers grind me down. If someone I'm not close to upsets me, I tend to let it go as confrontation does nothing for me.

I try not to let others upsetting me change me or the person I like being, so I guess I may leave myself open to being hurt. xx

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Booo!! We miss the sex posts!

Yeah….. talk about cock worship instead please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m 47 years old. I ask them straight up if I am confused,….

because half the time, I imagine everyone loves me, so it’s always a shock to find someone that possibly doesn’t.

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"So I don't just post about sex, flirting... you get the idea. I can't be predictable.

When someone upsets you - how do you respond? Are you quick to discuss it, more likely to take time away to think? Do you turn to friends or process it yourself?

Do you find it easy to move past or are you a one slight and you're out sort of person? "

If it isnt a big thing or if it is a comment that is not about me but that still upsets me then I will state that it has upset me and why there and then.

For something bigger if we are friends. I will acknowledge my feelings to myself and maybe to them and think about it and process it later. Sometimes I realise the thing has nothing to do with them and everything to do with my self. Then I will update the person and maybe ask to talk about it.

If they can't talk about things like that then I mentally downgrade them from friend to good acquaintance.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I just seek advice from Dear Deidre. I find the advice from the Sun and Fab are very much akin...

Truth.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I cut off their heads and take their quickenings.

There can be only one!

The heads always grow back though. Always.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"So I don't just post about sex, flirting... you get the idea. I can't be predictable.

When someone upsets you - how do you respond? Are you quick to discuss it, more likely to take time away to think? Do you turn to friends or process it yourself?

Do you find it easy to move past or are you a one slight and you're out sort of person?

I tend to stew over it and then plan my revenge.

Usually over a period of nine years."

Well thank you, that's not an image I necessarily wanted associated with you but fuck it. You and cement are linked now.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I usually take some time away to think and process. Why I'm hurt, is it something that can be avoided or mitigated in future, whether I'm overreacting or justified in being upset.

Then have the conversation when I'm calm and settled.

If I try to express it while I'm still actively hurting I know it can get very messy and that's often completely unnecessary.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Depends on the people, what was said and what the intent was. Family fights are probably the worst. People closest to you and that........

Friends will fall into 2 groups, first can be a brutally say anything conversation. Or it's noted.

If i don't really know them then, meh.

I might discuss with a third party for their opinion but I'm pretty insular"

Yes family and those close to you hurt the most. I guess it's because you show them who you are.

Meh is a good attitude to adopt.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I usually go quiet and into myself to process things first and deal with emotions then maybe talk to a close friend to confirm what I'm feeling

Giving yourself that space to process is important. I can be guilty of sometimes talking with those initial feelings rather than waiting to see how I really feel.

Friends are fantastic. Or sometimes like the blind leading the blind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on many factors.

I'm not shy in speaking up of what I perceive as wrongful behaviour.

Though I may take time to think about it, analyse it for what it is before speaking up.

I like to talk things through, though sometimes I'll dismiss it, if for example I can see they're having a generaly bad day, kind of thing.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It depends on my frame of mind at the time and what they did, sometimes I'll take a bit of time to reflect and think about what I want to say and other times I got to say what needs to be said straight away.

I've cut people off instantly in the past but I've also given way more opportunities than I should have

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

[Removed by poster at 13/06/23 14:28:24]

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Honestly, this is highly situational. The biggest test is within an intimate relationship so that's the context I will run with.

If it's something intimate between two people then I consider it a moral imperative to discuss it with that person.

If I am at a stage where I need to seek guidance from a friend. I am fortunate enough to have an amazing fried, whom I trust implicitly.

She would likely open with: Why aren't you talking to her about this? Because that's not a great sign in my eyes, if you can't trust someone you view as a partner with the truth about how you feel.

Basically, if I feel I can't or they can't talk to me about the 'hard' stuff. I will back off.

One slight and out no. But it will remain until it is resolved. If that's a relationship in it's infancy then I am highly likely to walk away from it, if it becomes persistent. It's setting the wrong pre_edence, I start out as I mean to proceed.

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