FabSwingers.com forum: Rejection

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After reading how the "why do older women not want younger guys thread" seemed to touch on this subject it had me wondering who do you think handles rejection better men or women? I personally don't mind it, after all I no that there will be people attracted to me and people that aren't and vice versa, but I think we all have had bad experiences with horrible replys to the thanks but no thanks replies its personally why I delete n block now, so thought it would make for an interesting debate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In all my years since joining fab, i have never ever had a nasty email or horrible comments.

If i receive a mail and its from someone i dont wish to take things further, i mail them back pleasantly and always get a pleasant one back.

I think its a lot to do with how we respond and how we say it...

If your rude, expect it back.......

Mind you......this may all change after im finished with the man in the mask

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

agree with Peaches except the bit about the man in the mask as I hav'nt a clue who he is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well lucky you peaches I always tried to be polite and had a mix of nasty and nice responses from the thanks but no thanks approach but majority were nasty think I'm a magnet for it maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

agree with Peaches except the bit about the man in the mask as I hav'nt a clue who he is

Shhhhhhhhhhh

Its you know who...= fm

shhhhhhhhhhh

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

In 4 years I have not had horrible mail or responses to mine either and I try and reply to most emails except the "hello, hun" followed by nothing ones.

In most cases, being civil, polite, respectful.... evokes a similar reply. My block list remains fairly short.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well lucky you peaches I always tried to be polite and had a mix of nasty and nice responses from the thanks but no thanks approach but majority were nasty think I'm a magnet for it maybe

I think its down to luck half the time....But think yourself lucky you didnt meet them....

so a lucky escape.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes very true lucky escape indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think it would depend on what mood the person was in.

if you keep being rejected its bound to get you down sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with peaches, if you're nice to someone then they are likely to be nice back to you. I always try and be as polite as I can in messages to people because you wouldn't go up to anyone anywhere and be rude to them.

After all first impression is key.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes very true lucky escape indeed"

see.........always look for the positives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's one sex or another - although occasionally hard to determine when it's a couple in question!

I think it's more down to people - their personalities, arrogance levels and their _iews and expectancy as to how things do, and should work!

Rejection should be just that - a decline, in a polite manner. So as long as you're not replying back in a crude or abusive manner why let a negative response from someone you'll never physically meet get you down!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In response to the OP though, if I get rejected it doesn't usually bother me, rejection is part and parcel of life. Just something you have to deal with.

I could see lots of rejection being frustrating though.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

a percentage in all categories react badly when rejected.

but if I am honest, I have read more nasty indignation from women and couples on the forum.

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By *etes-dragonCouple
over a year ago

Wales and the South West

i tend to speak to people like how i would like to be spoken to

manners cost nothing and we are all adults

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a very nasty mail the other day from a guy who thought I was bang out of order, because I have filters on my mail, strange thing is, he managed to get thru them, needless to say, I told him what I thought of his abusive mail, in a very nice way

Then promptly blocked him lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i tend to speak to people like how i would like to be spoken to

manners cost nothing and we are all adults

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to be polite and message back but the last few weeks, two guys kept messaging back, so not sure its worth it, least I have had no message from the one today, hopefully he won't bother again

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I prefer to be polite and message back but the last few weeks, two guys kept messaging back, so not sure its worth it, least I have had no message from the one today, hopefully he won't bother again"

You know I soemtimes wonder whether in my quest to be polite and not undermine somebody's confidence, whether I am sometimes too polite and give the wrong message ie that I am interested. I have started to be a bit more blunt in my replies and actually state now that there is no chance we would meet (if that is what I decided).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all, it's not just you. I've had polite rejections and vice versa, although I've had people contact me for the very first time with insulting and nasty messages, it just makes me laugh that someone cares enough about my appearance to take the effort of to write a message about it. Bit pathetic really lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never get any so its not a problem. then again I don't send any either. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In all my years since joining fab, i have never ever had a nasty email or horrible comments.

If i receive a mail and its from someone i dont wish to take things further, i mail them back pleasantly and always get a pleasant one back.

I think its a lot to do with how we respond and how we say it...

If your rude, expect it back.......

Me too the same,never had a rude or unpleasant one,emotions feed emotions.

Mind you......this may all change after im finished with the man in the mask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we've only ever had one nasty message from someone we've declined.. but that my have been in response to one from us that might have been a bit sarcastic. Have we even been bothered by rejection? not in the slightest,this is a sideshow to our real lives. if it was the be all and end all we'd be worried.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Am thinking... a rejection really only means that somebody does not want to play with the other person(s). No more,no less!

We would not be offended at social gatherings that some people prefer to chat to others, at dinner dances that some people prefer to dance with others... so really there is no need to make sucha big meal out of not being wanted for sexual encounters. Nobody can be everybody's cuppa all the time.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

agree with Peaches except the bit about the man in the mask as I hav'nt a clue who he is

Shhhhhhhhhhh

Its you know who...= fm

shhhhhhhhhhh

Zorro?

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I had a nasty rejection and was blocked by a couple...

Odd thing is I'd never met or ever messaged them!!

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By *awkeye and HotlipsCouple
over a year ago

Takeley

Treat others like you wish to be treated yourselves. We have politely declined interested parties and been declined ourselves, it's part and parcel of browsing for compatible playmates. It's not rejection, just that we are not for the other person/people, we have a free choice, which we respect. If someone ever was belligerant with us, block, delete the message, ignore,lifes too short and we can't be arsed with anybody who would be like that. Their loss!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

agree with Peaches except the bit about the man in the mask as I hav'nt a clue who he is

Shhhhhhhhhhh

Its you know who...= fm

shhhhhhhhhhh

I disagree, i always write the same message for a rejection, which is as follows,

"Hi, thanks for your message but sorry its a no thank yo, have lots of fun on the site x"

Majority of men either accept with out reply, or reply with thanks for letting me know type message, however now and again I get a response along lines of, well, I wasn't interested in you anyway fat cow, etc.

So don't think it matters what you type back, if guy can't handle rejection he will be rude. Luckily, I would say most guys are fine, its just that minority that aren't and that minoroty potentially spoils things for other users on the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't see it as rejection, the reality is what can someone really tell about a person from a short message, a picture and a sales pitch being a profile, not a lot I suspect. So if people whose criteria I fit don't want to invest the time to get to know me I c'est la vie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

rejection on here doesn't bother me, however I do appreciate a message back to say no thankyou.

rejection in real life can be somewhat different though. I suppose it cash come down to how much you invest into the relationship beforehand.

if it's a girl I have just met, no problem. Thats life. If it's a girl I have known for sometime this can be a bit tricky, in that being as I have known them already and have already struck up a friendship

with them I would have to feel quite strongly about it to broach the subject.

if then they reject you, it can be a awqward as well as disappointing.

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