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"So, People mean well, I get that. But do you ever just think stfu. For example... I have had hay-fever all my life. Its an absolute horror as I get it very badly. I love summer, bbqs, beer garden's, and that feeling just being totally chill. Hay-fever however totally ruins this for me, there are days I feel I can't even leave the house. It's always been this way and always will be, I get that. But what annoys me more than the hay-fever is the bullshit advice non hay-fever sufferers give you. "Have you tried local honey" "Why don't you try putting vasseline on your nose" "Maybe if you put some sunglasses on" Etc, etc, etc. Thank you Dr Hillary, while I'm here sneezing my brain out of my nose I'll take that advice, do you happen to have some local honey in your pocket? I've only had hay-fever for 40 years, I'd never thought to try anything other than sniffing cut grass! ![]() Did you lock up? | |||
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" And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” " That's exactly the kind of thing. I'm guessing usually said by people who don't suffer from cfs too | |||
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"Yes!! I get psoriasis. I’m very lucky in that it’s dormant until triggered by stress or illness. I had it very bad one year in which my body was mostly covered. On showing my arms to some work colleagues and explaining it is an auto immune condition, they suggested clearing it up with moisturiser. And in that “I’m a part time doctor, I know exactly how to cure everything” authoritative manner. Like the medical world has spent decades researching but overlooked Nivea." Ive never thought to try creams... Did it work?,! | |||
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"Yes!! I get psoriasis. I’m very lucky in that it’s dormant until triggered by stress or illness. I had it very bad one year in which my body was mostly covered. On showing my arms to some work colleagues and explaining it is an auto immune condition, they suggested clearing it up with moisturiser. And in that “I’m a part time doctor, I know exactly how to cure everything” authoritative manner. Like the medical world has spent decades researching but overlooked Nivea." Oh heck, Mr Fox had increasingly bad psoriasis (he's paused treatment for now but it's improved as stress has lessened) and people would literally grab his arms in the street and start announcing their miracles cures ![]() | |||
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"So, People mean well, I get that. But do you ever just think stfu. For example... I have had hay-fever all my life. Its an absolute horror as I get it very badly. I love summer, bbqs, beer garden's, and that feeling just being totally chill. Hay-fever however totally ruins this for me, there are days I feel I can't even leave the house. It's always been this way and always will be, I get that. But what annoys me more than the hay-fever is the bullshit advice non hay-fever sufferers give you. "Have you tried local honey" "Why don't you try putting vasseline on your nose" "Maybe if you put some sunglasses on" Etc, etc, etc. Thank you Dr Hillary, while I'm here sneezing my brain out of my nose I'll take that advice, do you happen to have some local honey in your pocket? I've only had hay-fever for 40 years, I'd never thought to try anything other than sniffing cut grass! ![]() yes put yer wellies on its raining i mean you're gonna get wet ![]() | |||
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"- ‘Cheer up’ or ‘don’t worry about what other people think’ When I talk about my depression or my anxiety - ‘Ignore them’ when talking about racism - Most unsolicited advice I receive as a parent annoys me because we’ve usually tried it. - ‘think back to where you last had it’ when you’ve lost something " Yep, I think I've had or heard most of them in the past | |||
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"So, People mean well, I get that. But do you ever just think stfu. For example... I have had hay-fever all my life. Its an absolute horror as I get it very badly. I love summer, bbqs, beer garden's, and that feeling just being totally chill. Hay-fever however totally ruins this for me, there are days I feel I can't even leave the house. It's always been this way and always will be, I get that. But what annoys me more than the hay-fever is the bullshit advice non hay-fever sufferers give you. "Have you tried local honey" "Why don't you try putting vasseline on your nose" "Maybe if you put some sunglasses on" Etc, etc, etc. Thank you Dr Hillary, while I'm here sneezing my brain out of my nose I'll take that advice, do you happen to have some local honey in your pocket? I've only had hay-fever for 40 years, I'd never thought to try anything other than sniffing cut grass! ![]() ![]() When you tell someone (usually older folks ) you're about to leave the house and they say how cold you'll be, gee sorry I didn't put my coat on the second I got out of bed ![]() | |||
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"Yes!! I get psoriasis. I’m very lucky in that it’s dormant until triggered by stress or illness. I had it very bad one year in which my body was mostly covered. On showing my arms to some work colleagues and explaining it is an auto immune condition, they suggested clearing it up with moisturiser. And in that “I’m a part time doctor, I know exactly how to cure everything” authoritative manner. Like the medical world has spent decades researching but overlooked Nivea. Oh heck, Mr Fox had increasingly bad psoriasis (he's paused treatment for now but it's improved as stress has lessened) and people would literally grab his arms in the street and start announcing their miracles cures ![]() My daughter had severe eczema but luckily for her she did find s miracle cure. She had to really fight the NHS to get though. | |||
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"I think anyone with any common illness will feel your pain! But have you tried local honey ![]() Well actually I have a bee hive. Not because of hay-fever though. Just because I'm a geek and I wanted one. But yeah, the honey is pretty local. ![]() | |||
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"So, People mean well, I get that. But do you ever just think stfu. For example... I have had hay-fever all my life. Its an absolute horror as I get it very badly. I love summer, bbqs, beer garden's, and that feeling just being totally chill. Hay-fever however totally ruins this for me, there are days I feel I can't even leave the house. It's always been this way and always will be, I get that. But what annoys me more than the hay-fever is the bullshit advice non hay-fever sufferers give you. "Have you tried local honey" "Why don't you try putting vasseline on your nose" "Maybe if you put some sunglasses on" Etc, etc, etc. Thank you Dr Hillary, while I'm here sneezing my brain out of my nose I'll take that advice, do you happen to have some local honey in your pocket? I've only had hay-fever for 40 years, I'd never thought to try anything other than sniffing cut grass! ![]() ![]() ![]() exactly and nobody but nobody wears coats in the southwest ![]() | |||
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"Yes!! I get psoriasis. I’m very lucky in that it’s dormant until triggered by stress or illness. I had it very bad one year in which my body was mostly covered. On showing my arms to some work colleagues and explaining it is an auto immune condition, they suggested clearing it up with moisturiser. And in that “I’m a part time doctor, I know exactly how to cure everything” authoritative manner. Like the medical world has spent decades researching but overlooked Nivea. Oh heck, Mr Fox had increasingly bad psoriasis (he's paused treatment for now but it's improved as stress has lessened) and people would literally grab his arms in the street and start announcing their miracles cures ![]() Oh I'm so glad she's found something that works!! Yes have defo had to stamp my feet to get further treatment with stuff before ![]() | |||
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"So, People mean well, I get that. But do you ever just think stfu. For example... I have had hay-fever all my life. Its an absolute horror as I get it very badly. I love summer, bbqs, beer garden's, and that feeling just being totally chill. Hay-fever however totally ruins this for me, there are days I feel I can't even leave the house. It's always been this way and always will be, I get that. But what annoys me more than the hay-fever is the bullshit advice non hay-fever sufferers give you. "Have you tried local honey" "Why don't you try putting vasseline on your nose" "Maybe if you put some sunglasses on" Etc, etc, etc. Thank you Dr Hillary, while I'm here sneezing my brain out of my nose I'll take that advice, do you happen to have some local honey in your pocket? I've only had hay-fever for 40 years, I'd never thought to try anything other than sniffing cut grass! ![]() ![]() ![]() Lol, it was an older person telling me to try honey yesterday. | |||
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"I have two disabled children, and one of them with severe case of ARFID. I’m tired of people trying to give me parental advice on everything, and especially the “if they’re hungry they will eat anything” one. No they won’t and can you just kindly fuck off." I don't know anything about that disorder. Until 2 minutes ago I had never heard of it. Therefore I wouldn't even attempt to give advice. I can tell by the name though, no they won't just eat if they are hungry. Some people are unreal. | |||
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"As the saying goes Cut your nose off despite the face I'm sure this is a permanent solution or was it don't cut your nose despite the face ![]() I thought it was cutting your nose off to spite your face. As in, doing yourself just as much harm to get back at someone else. But maybe I'm wrong. | |||
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"When anything electrical stops working. "Have you tried turning it on and off again?" Well. There were sparks, flames and smoke and a strong smell of burning.....so not sure that's gonna cure it tbh... ![]() ![]() So you didnt try it? Its the universal answer for any tech... | |||
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"- ‘Cheer up’ or ‘don’t worry about what other people think’ When I talk about my depression or my anxiety - ‘Ignore them’ when talking about racism - Most unsolicited advice I receive as a parent annoys me because we’ve usually tried it. - ‘think back to where you last had it’ when you’ve lost something " Have you tried turning your child off and on again and try looking on the mantlepiece for your keys, Steve-o ![]() | |||
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" People have randomly grasped parts of my body in public and started praying. I find this grossly offensive and they're lucky I didn't punch them. " This is the worst one. Anyone grabbing someone uninvited is well out of order. Even more so when it's a stranger. But then to pray to a god the person may not even believe in. you're right that is gross, a punch would be warranted. | |||
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" People have randomly grasped parts of my body in public and started praying. I find this grossly offensive and they're lucky I didn't punch them. This is the worst one. Anyone grabbing someone uninvited is well out of order. Even more so when it's a stranger. But then to pray to a god the person may not even believe in. you're right that is gross, a punch would be warranted." The last one was a d*unk-ish older man with an Irish accent who grabbed my arm (really tightly) and started praying to the Virgin Mary...... | |||
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"People trying to push cbd on me, and telling me it's better than my prescribed medication. " Mmhm. I'm glad CBD works so well for you, but it's not a panacea | |||
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"People trying to push cbd on me, and telling me it's better than my prescribed medication. " Same. My MIL bought shitey CDB from Amazon for me and was shocked when I said it didn’t work | |||
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" People have randomly grasped parts of my body in public and started praying. I find this grossly offensive and they're lucky I didn't punch them. This is the worst one. Anyone grabbing someone uninvited is well out of order. Even more so when it's a stranger. But then to pray to a god the person may not even believe in. you're right that is gross, a punch would be warranted. The last one was a d*unk-ish older man with an Irish accent who grabbed my arm (really tightly) and started praying to the Virgin Mary...... " That's so disrespectful | |||
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"As a disabled person who has constant pain, yes. I get SO MUCH unsolicited, useless advice!!!!!! Have you tried.... Paracetamol (!) TENS machine The herbal wéed Reiki Acupuncture Osteopathy Praying (select god or gods) Eating turmeric People have randomly grasped parts of my body in public and started praying. I find this grossly offensive and they're lucky I didn't punch them. Can't stand/walk? Well, I won't bloody well be able to if I sit on my arse in a wheelchair. Obviously. Have I tried.... Physio (various) Osteopathy Acupuncture Chiropractor Going to the gym Just getting up and walking Cycling You get the idea..... Nah, I just enjoy being in pain and using a mobility device that makes every day life fucking challenging/impossible, because I'm a masochist. Obviously ![]() I agree but maybe you should try YOGA. Sorry ![]() | |||
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"If people tell me about a problem I try to not offer advice based on my experiences, but sometimes they may not have tried something I have. It's about listening and sympathising, sometimes. " See, if someone has experience or has the same ailment then that's slightly different. They probably won't come up with pie in the sky remedies. It's the ones who have no idea that annoy me. | |||
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"I have two disabled children, and one of them with severe case of ARFID. I’m tired of people trying to give me parental advice on everything, and especially the “if they’re hungry they will eat anything” one. No they won’t and can you just kindly fuck off." Omg my son Has ARFID!! Never met anyone else with it before! | |||
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"As a disabled person who has constant pain, yes. I get SO MUCH unsolicited, useless advice!!!!!! Have you tried.... Paracetamol (!) TENS machine The herbal wéed Reiki Acupuncture Osteopathy Praying (select god or gods) Eating turmeric People have randomly grasped parts of my body in public and started praying. I find this grossly offensive and they're lucky I didn't punch them. Can't stand/walk? Well, I won't bloody well be able to if I sit on my arse in a wheelchair. Obviously. Have I tried.... Physio (various) Osteopathy Acupuncture Chiropractor Going to the gym Just getting up and walking Cycling You get the idea..... Nah, I just enjoy being in pain and using a mobility device that makes every day life fucking challenging/impossible, because I'm a masochist. Obviously ![]() Have you ever tried punching these people in the face? ![]() | |||
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"As a disabled person who has constant pain, yes. I get SO MUCH unsolicited, useless advice!!!!!! Have you tried.... Paracetamol (!) TENS machine The herbal wéed Reiki Acupuncture Osteopathy Praying (select god or gods) Eating turmeric People have randomly grasped parts of my body in public and started praying. I find this grossly offensive and they're lucky I didn't punch them. Can't stand/walk? Well, I won't bloody well be able to if I sit on my arse in a wheelchair. Obviously. Have I tried.... Physio (various) Osteopathy Acupuncture Chiropractor Going to the gym Just getting up and walking Cycling You get the idea..... Nah, I just enjoy being in pain and using a mobility device that makes every day life fucking challenging/impossible, because I'm a masochist. Obviously ![]() ![]() Ah yes. Yoga. And pilates. Both obviously mentioned multiple times ![]() | |||
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"As a disabled person who has constant pain, yes. I get SO MUCH unsolicited, useless advice!!!!!! Have you tried.... Paracetamol (!) TENS machine The herbal wéed Reiki Acupuncture Osteopathy Praying (select god or gods) Eating turmeric People have randomly grasped parts of my body in public and started praying. I find this grossly offensive and they're lucky I didn't punch them. Can't stand/walk? Well, I won't bloody well be able to if I sit on my arse in a wheelchair. Obviously. Have I tried.... Physio (various) Osteopathy Acupuncture Chiropractor Going to the gym Just getting up and walking Cycling You get the idea..... Nah, I just enjoy being in pain and using a mobility device that makes every day life fucking challenging/impossible, because I'm a masochist. Obviously ![]() ![]() I've been seriously tempted! The arm grabber would have, had he not had my best punching arm in his grasp ![]() | |||
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" People have randomly grasped parts of my body in public and started praying. I find this grossly offensive and they're lucky I didn't punch them. This is the worst one. Anyone grabbing someone uninvited is well out of order. Even more so when it's a stranger. But then to pray to a god the person may not even believe in. you're right that is gross, a punch would be warranted. The last one was a d*unk-ish older man with an Irish accent who grabbed my arm (really tightly) and started praying to the Virgin Mary...... " Did you notice afterwards your watch was missing? | |||
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"As the saying goes Cut your nose off despite the face I'm sure this is a permanent solution or was it don't cut your nose despite the face ![]() You're right ![]() ![]() | |||
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"So, People mean well, I get that. But do you ever just think stfu. For example... I have had hay-fever all my life. Its an absolute horror as I get it very badly. I love summer, bbqs, beer garden's, and that feeling just being totally chill. Hay-fever however totally ruins this for me, there are days I feel I can't even leave the house. It's always been this way and always will be, I get that. But what annoys me more than the hay-fever is the bullshit advice non hay-fever sufferers give you. "Have you tried local honey" "Why don't you try putting vasseline on your nose" "Maybe if you put some sunglasses on" Etc, etc, etc. Thank you Dr Hillary, while I'm here sneezing my brain out of my nose I'll take that advice, do you happen to have some local honey in your pocket? I've only had hay-fever for 40 years, I'd never thought to try anything other than sniffing cut grass! ![]() ![]() ![]() What do you think the intent is? Vaseline worked for me btw. | |||
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"As the saying goes Cut your nose off despite the face I'm sure this is a permanent solution or was it don't cut your nose despite the face ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh no, as I said this isn't specifically about hay-fever. I find people giving advice constantly annoying. It just happened to be hay-fever yesterday. Today it could be anything! | |||
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"Honestly, I wish my life was so simple that such trivial remarks bothered me." Can't all be fucking perfect can we ![]() | |||
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" What do you think the intent is? Vaseline worked for me btw." So it's great vaseline worked for you. But it didn't for Maui. What happens next is you say "but I tried it and it didn't work", then the other person says "well it worked for me" and you say "that's great, but it didn't work for me" and they say something like "did you use the REAL Vaseline™ and not the cheap knock off stuff from Superdrug?" and you say "it didn't work for me, thanks" and they say "maybe you didn't put it on right/put enough on etc" and you say "thanks, but vaseline didn't work" and they say "well, I can't help you if you won't try exactly what I'm telling you works [for me]" and then you say "fuck off you irritating cunt, I don't want to drown in petroleum jelly". Or something like that. | |||
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"Honestly, I wish my life was so simple that such trivial remarks bothered me." It's really fucking annoying when everyone else seems to know more about my disability and pain than actual medical professionals and me. Me who has tried in vain to get back to my pre-disability state for over 6yrs, spending thousands of pounds in the process. It's not fucking trivial ![]() | |||
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" What do you think the intent is? Vaseline worked for me btw. So it's great vaseline worked for you. But it didn't for Maui. What happens next is you say "but I tried it and it didn't work", then the other person says "well it worked for me" and you say "that's great, but it didn't work for me" and they say something like "did you use the REAL Vaseline™ and not the cheap knock off stuff from Superdrug?" and you say "it didn't work for me, thanks" and they say "maybe you didn't put it on right/put enough on etc" and you say "thanks, but vaseline didn't work" and they say "well, I can't help you if you won't try exactly what I'm telling you works [for me]" and then you say "fuck off you irritating cunt, I don't want to drown in petroleum jelly". Or something like that." That's actually made me laugh out loud (between the sneezing of course) ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" What do you think the intent is? Vaseline worked for me btw. So it's great vaseline worked for you. But it didn't for Maui. What happens next is you say "but I tried it and it didn't work", then the other person says "well it worked for me" and you say "that's great, but it didn't work for me" and they say something like "did you use the REAL Vaseline™ and not the cheap knock off stuff from Superdrug?" and you say "it didn't work for me, thanks" and they say "maybe you didn't put it on right/put enough on etc" and you say "thanks, but vaseline didn't work" and they say "well, I can't help you if you won't try exactly what I'm telling you works [for me]" and then you say "fuck off you irritating cunt, I don't want to drown in petroleum jelly". Or something like that." I'm a bit prone to offering unsolicited advice, but I think the difference between what's described here and mine is that when I hear "X didn't work for me" I say I'm sorry and hope they find something that does help. I'm also aware that advice as love language isn't always appreciated ( ![]() | |||
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" What do you think the intent is? Vaseline worked for me btw. So it's great vaseline worked for you. But it didn't for Maui. What happens next is you say "but I tried it and it didn't work", then the other person says "well it worked for me" and you say "that's great, but it didn't work for me" and they say something like "did you use the REAL Vaseline™ and not the cheap knock off stuff from Superdrug?" and you say "it didn't work for me, thanks" and they say "maybe you didn't put it on right/put enough on etc" and you say "thanks, but vaseline didn't work" and they say "well, I can't help you if you won't try exactly what I'm telling you works [for me]" and then you say "fuck off you irritating cunt, I don't want to drown in petroleum jelly". Or something like that." At that point I'd say oh well and leave them in misery. I made a suggestion, it didn't work and off I'd fuck. | |||
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"Honestly, I wish my life was so simple that such trivial remarks bothered me." Trivial remarks? Really? | |||
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" What do you think the intent is? Vaseline worked for me btw. So it's great vaseline worked for you. But it didn't for Maui. What happens next is you say "but I tried it and it didn't work", then the other person says "well it worked for me" and you say "that's great, but it didn't work for me" and they say something like "did you use the REAL Vaseline™ and not the cheap knock off stuff from Superdrug?" and you say "it didn't work for me, thanks" and they say "maybe you didn't put it on right/put enough on etc" and you say "thanks, but vaseline didn't work" and they say "well, I can't help you if you won't try exactly what I'm telling you works [for me]" and then you say "fuck off you irritating cunt, I don't want to drown in petroleum jelly". Or something like that. At that point I'd say oh well and leave them in misery. I made a suggestion, it didn't work and off I'd fuck." But they already tried it!!!! Are you hard of hearing? Have you tried using olive oil? Have you tried getting your ears syringed? Did you know Specsavers do hearing tests? Did you know my Dad got a really cool hearing aid from them? Worked for him. | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA" So much this!! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" What do you think the intent is? Vaseline worked for me btw. So it's great vaseline worked for you. But it didn't for Maui. What happens next is you say "but I tried it and it didn't work", then the other person says "well it worked for me" and you say "that's great, but it didn't work for me" and they say something like "did you use the REAL Vaseline™ and not the cheap knock off stuff from Superdrug?" and you say "it didn't work for me, thanks" and they say "maybe you didn't put it on right/put enough on etc" and you say "thanks, but vaseline didn't work" and they say "well, I can't help you if you won't try exactly what I'm telling you works [for me]" and then you say "fuck off you irritating cunt, I don't want to drown in petroleum jelly". Or something like that. At that point I'd say oh well and leave them in misery. I made a suggestion, it didn't work and off I'd fuck. But they already tried it!!!! Are you hard of hearing? Have you tried using olive oil? Have you tried getting your ears syringed? Did you know Specsavers do hearing tests? Did you know my Dad got a really cool hearing aid from them? Worked for him. " I tried to help with the best of intentions, like i said if it didn't work I'd go lie in the grass and never think about them again. Ok we run the risk of duplication but one of the things that we humans do quite well is exchange knowledge. "I'm trying X and its not working". "I had that problem and I tried hitting hard with a hammer, didn't work" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. | |||
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"Honestly, I wish my life was so simple that such trivial remarks bothered me." Oh yeah. Love my simple life being disabled | |||
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"Honestly, I wish my life was so simple that such trivial remarks bothered me." Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooool Anyway | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA So much this!! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It’s a nightmare ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Let's see. White women (because I've never had unsolicited advice from white men on this topic) telling me what I should be doing with my hair to reduce frizz. Saying 'Oh you should wear your hair natural, it'll look so cute". Telling me vitamins/supplements I should/shouldn't take for hair growth. Suggesting a keratin treatment - oh yes, give me those chemicals. Love 'em. Bog off Sue. I'm keeping it light because the personal health one winds me up too much and I don't need to share everything on here as I'm prone to do. :D" Us white folks really are the worse. Thinking we know everything when we clearly bloody don’t | |||
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"Let's see. White women (because I've never had unsolicited advice from white men on this topic) telling me what I should be doing with my hair to reduce frizz. Saying 'Oh you should wear your hair natural, it'll look so cute". Telling me vitamins/supplements I should/shouldn't take for hair growth. Suggesting a keratin treatment - oh yes, give me those chemicals. Love 'em. Bog off Sue. I'm keeping it light because the personal health one winds me up too much and I don't need to share everything on here as I'm prone to do. :D Us white folks really are the worse. Thinking we know everything when we clearly bloody don’t " Oh don't get me wrong, I love white people. My best friend is white and I've had sex with a white person as well. ![]() | |||
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"Let's see. White women (because I've never had unsolicited advice from white men on this topic) telling me what I should be doing with my hair to reduce frizz. Saying 'Oh you should wear your hair natural, it'll look so cute". Telling me vitamins/supplements I should/shouldn't take for hair growth. Suggesting a keratin treatment - oh yes, give me those chemicals. Love 'em. Bog off Sue. I'm keeping it light because the personal health one winds me up too much and I don't need to share everything on here as I'm prone to do. :D" Bloody sue, what's she like. | |||
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"Honestly, I wish my life was so simple that such trivial remarks bothered me. Can't all be fucking perfect can we ![]() Boom!! ![]() ![]() | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. " Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() | |||
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"I was on anti depressants for nine years. Been diagnosed with c-ptsd, depression and anxiety. I finally came off anti depressants a month ago and I’ve been fine so far. But when things were really bad (especially when my son was born, I had bad PND) everyone was telling me Oh just go outside! Take a deep breath Count to ten CBD Get off your phone and stop watching tv And all the usual shite Nah it took different psychiatrists, psychologists, anti depressants and cognitive behavioural therapy to even start to help me But yeah sure, I’ll drink some more water EVEN THOUGH ALL I DRINK IS WATER People wind me up so much" (Sarcasm) but there are children starving in Africa, you have a great life! (/Sarcasm) | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() I certainly wouldn't get affronted because someone offered some advice or assistance. A few years back my car got stuck in the snow on a hill. Guess what, people offered advice, one of the suggestions worked. Intent matters, you may not want to hear it or have heard it before, but if someone is genuinely trying to help, be nice. And yeah, some people love the misery, it's their fuel. | |||
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"I was on anti depressants for nine years. Been diagnosed with c-ptsd, depression and anxiety. I finally came off anti depressants a month ago and I’ve been fine so far. But when things were really bad (especially when my son was born, I had bad PND) everyone was telling me Oh just go outside! Take a deep breath Count to ten CBD Get off your phone and stop watching tv And all the usual shite Nah it took different psychiatrists, psychologists, anti depressants and cognitive behavioural therapy to even start to help me But yeah sure, I’ll drink some more water EVEN THOUGH ALL I DRINK IS WATER People wind me up so much (Sarcasm) but there are children starving in Africa, you have a great life! (/Sarcasm)" When I was 12, in our home ec class I was given the extra cheese of someone who wasn’t in that day, and it dropped on the floor into a pile of cobwebs and dust so I binned it Teacher screamed at me because I’m the reason children in Africa are dying ![]() | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() It's odd isn't it that we're moving towards a time when we need to accept what's said to us regardless of how it makes us feel because the person saying it might have your best intentions at heart. | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() For me intent may be a mitigating factor, but it doesn't at all mean that I should just accept whatever is said. And the test for me - as someone who loves to problem solve as a way to show I care! - is what happens when someone asks for the advice to stop. Do they apologise and back off/wish you the best, or do they double down? (I have friends who'll tell me if they want me in problem solving or sympathetic noises mode, because we've been over this a few times. They honour my instinct and appreciate my desire to help and I honour what they actually need, rather than how I want to respond) | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() I don't think we're moving towards that, I think that's pretty much always been the case. Am betting most of the people who've received unsolicited advice on this thread haven't told the person to fuck off. Mrs TMN x | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() I've said "I appreciate your concern. I've tried that and most other things, thank you" If someone goes on to tell me I'm making myself suffer because I won't listen to them... At that point I might tell them to fuck off ![]() | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA" Fresh air and exercise.... AAAARGH!!! And "but you look ok" | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA Fresh air and exercise.... AAAARGH!!! And "but you look ok" " I once got "you'll grow out of it" for an issue that as far as I know can be detected in foetuses and is present for one's whole life ![]() | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. " One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() You're right I didn't. I just used to sigh and let them tell me that the only way out of the immense pain I was in was to inflict further pain on myself. If I'd told them to "fuck off" then explained I was giving them advice that had worked for me and why didn't they try it, so you think they would have accepted it in the spirit it was intended? ![]() | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA Fresh air and exercise.... AAAARGH!!! And "but you look ok" " Ughhhhh “but you look ok” - winds me up so much. I have no choice!! I have to be ok, I’m a mum and I can’t just be in bed all day can I?! As much as my body needs it, I just can’t do it! Ughhh | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you." You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? | |||
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" But as mrs doyle says some like the misery. Are you trying to be funny?! If people have tried loads of things (including that thing that worked for you) without success, do you think that they just enjoy the misery? Pull the other one, it's got bells on ![]() My dear man, until you get multiple completely useless and potential dangerous attempts to "help" each day, you cannot possibly understand. As a wheelchair user, I frequently get people trying to "help" by coming up behind me (where I cannot see them), seizing my chair and randomly shoving me. Even better are the people who try to push the seat, which is soft and results in severe pain for me. It's the absolute opposite of help. They might as well turn me around and kidney punch me. If I want help or advice about my disability, I'll damn well ask. Otherwise, stay in your lane and I'll stay in mine. It's not infrequent. It's every bloody day that someone thinks they've suddenly discovered the solution to everything and better still, they are convinced your disability is simply because you don't pray to a deity of their choosing or because you are simply lazy. Anyone who might choose to live my life I would suggest is mentally unwell and should seek appropriate advice. From a professional. You would not choose to experience this nor to live it daily. | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no?" If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. " I'm glad you have the privilege to not understand. | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. " Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() Probably ![]() | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() ![]() Didn't I say something about assumptions and choosing how one responds. Nevermind. Anyway heaven forbid some one might try to be of assistance. The outrage of it. | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() ![]() I think I said something above about the response to finding out that the advice is unwelcome or unhelpful, and what it says about a person's motivations ![]() | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() ![]() But why can't the advice giver choose how they respond to someone who has what they perceive to be an unsolved problem? Why can't they choose to be indifferent to it unless actively asked? | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() ![]() Yes. As an advice giver, the only person you can control is yourself, and if one chooses to have a negative reaction to the way one responds to you, then I can't help you if you'd prefer to live in misery. | |||
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"How much easier if we said "Do you need a hand?" "Would you like some suggestions for your problem?"" Yes, I think this is a better approach | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() ![]() The typical dynamic is when you see an a problem, offer help/assistance/advice. If its welcomed great. If it's not move along and let the person with the issue to go complain on t'internet about the temerity of people trying to help. | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() ![]() Ok I see we're at an impasse here. I'm off to take your advice ![]() | |||
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" One, niceness isn't always the intention - sometimes it's a display of superiority that they can be beyond those problems Two, impact absolutely matters, and those offering advice should be mindful that it may be unwelcome or worse. One. You don't know the intentions or motives of others. Maybe you're inferring or making assumptions of others. Definitely your perception but that's how you're seeing it. Two. The only person that you can really control or change is yourself. Your reaction or response is on you. You're correct that I can't control what other people do, but that doesn't change that they are a net negative in my life and that they should pull their heads from their arses and consider someone other than themselves. Having a problem *and* having to be maximally charitable to people annoying me *and* having to force myself to have a positive attitude about an irritant seems like all the onus is on me in an interaction. As there are two or more people in an interaction, how about no? If people in this context are a net negative, that's on you. We're not hamsters, we're social creatures that live in groups and communities. Ideally learning and observing. But as a 6 foot + hairy aging male, maybe people are more hesitant to offer unsolicited advise to me. As to the second point, you don't have to maximally charitable, or force a positive attitude. You could just be indifferent. Is this starting to count as unwanted advice? ![]() ![]() ![]() Opinions. I gotta go too ![]() | |||
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"How much easier if we said "Do you need a hand?" "Would you like some suggestions for your problem?"" And further, if the response is "no thank you, I am perfectly fine", the correct response is to respect that. Not to say "are you sure?" "but it'll just take a minute" or any other follow up insistence. Which is really, REALLY common! | |||
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"How much easier if we said "Do you need a hand?" "Would you like some suggestions for your problem?" And further, if the response is "no thank you, I am perfectly fine", the correct response is to respect that. Not to say "are you sure?" "but it'll just take a minute" or any other follow up insistence. Which is really, REALLY common!" I offered a woman help onto the bus with her pushchair last week. She said "no thank you". I smiled boarded the bus and we both went on with our day. I'm flaming Mother Teresa me | |||
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"How much easier if we said "Do you need a hand?" "Would you like some suggestions for your problem?" And further, if the response is "no thank you, I am perfectly fine", the correct response is to respect that. Not to say "are you sure?" "but it'll just take a minute" or any other follow up insistence. Which is really, REALLY common! I offered a woman help onto the bus with her pushchair last week. She said "no thank you". I smiled boarded the bus and we both went on with our day. I'm flaming Mother Teresa me " I'm on to the Pope as I type...... | |||
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"How much easier if we said "Do you need a hand?" "Would you like some suggestions for your problem?" And further, if the response is "no thank you, I am perfectly fine", the correct response is to respect that. Not to say "are you sure?" "but it'll just take a minute" or any other follow up insistence. Which is really, REALLY common! I offered a woman help onto the bus with her pushchair last week. She said "no thank you". I smiled boarded the bus and we both went on with our day. I'm flaming Mother Teresa me " ![]() | |||
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"How much easier if we said "Do you need a hand?" "Would you like some suggestions for your problem?" And further, if the response is "no thank you, I am perfectly fine", the correct response is to respect that. Not to say "are you sure?" "but it'll just take a minute" or any other follow up insistence. Which is really, REALLY common! I offered a woman help onto the bus with her pushchair last week. She said "no thank you". I smiled boarded the bus and we both went on with our day. I'm flaming Mother Teresa me I'm on to the Pope as I type......" We'll be gentle he has just had surgery. | |||
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"For a lot of my issues, I see "well I've never had that problem!" Like they're special or my problem is my fault. Ok, I'm glad you're special, I guess?" This winds me up so much! I don't mind if it's followed by attempts to help, but otherwise it's just frustrating ![]() | |||
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"Here is an example. I work in a building that has bookable meeting space in the lobby, available to the multiple businesses that occupy it. I had booked a booth for a meeting and Reception told me to use a particular one. I transferred from my wheelchair into the booth so I could sit opposite my colleague. Some minutes later, employees of a totally different business came along and insisted they had booked the booth and they asked us to move. Employees of this business have a rep for being rude and demanding and I couldn't be bothered with arguing so agreed to move. My wheelchair tips backwards slightly when my backpack is on the back but I am not sat in it. It is normal for me to transfer back into it when it is like this. I started to transfer but just before I sat down, an employee from this other business shoved the chair towards me (and the booth). As I sat down (because I couldn't stop myself at this point), the cup holder attached to my wheelchair got squashed against the booth frame and broke. The unsolicited, unwanted and unadvertised "assistance" of this person cost me £28 to replace and left me reliant on colleagues to bring me hot drinks until a new cup holder was delivered. Can anyone see the issue here? Or should I just have been grateful and kissed his feet or something?!" This is ridiculous (on their part!!) and could have so easily been avoided - if they were so keen on acting like a good Samaritan, they should have just asked you if there was anything they could help with! People are so ignorant ![]() | |||
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"How much easier if we said "Do you need a hand?" "Would you like some suggestions for your problem?"" I always say let me know if you'd like help or give me a shout | |||
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"Here is an example. I work in a building that has bookable meeting space in the lobby, available to the multiple businesses that occupy it. I had booked a booth for a meeting and Reception told me to use a particular one. I transferred from my wheelchair into the booth so I could sit opposite my colleague. Some minutes later, employees of a totally different business came along and insisted they had booked the booth and they asked us to move. Employees of this business have a rep for being rude and demanding and I couldn't be bothered with arguing so agreed to move. My wheelchair tips backwards slightly when my backpack is on the back but I am not sat in it. It is normal for me to transfer back into it when it is like this. I started to transfer but just before I sat down, an employee from this other business shoved the chair towards me (and the booth). As I sat down (because I couldn't stop myself at this point), the cup holder attached to my wheelchair got squashed against the booth frame and broke. The unsolicited, unwanted and unadvertised "assistance" of this person cost me £28 to replace and left me reliant on colleagues to bring me hot drinks until a new cup holder was delivered. Can anyone see the issue here? Or should I just have been grateful and kissed his feet or something?!" How rude! I would invoice her for the cost of the cup holder, and your colleagues time for having to bring your drinks. Absolutely unnecessary behaviour! | |||
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"Here is an example. I work in a building that has bookable meeting space in the lobby, available to the multiple businesses that occupy it. I had booked a booth for a meeting and Reception told me to use a particular one. I transferred from my wheelchair into the booth so I could sit opposite my colleague. Some minutes later, employees of a totally different business came along and insisted they had booked the booth and they asked us to move. Employees of this business have a rep for being rude and demanding and I couldn't be bothered with arguing so agreed to move. My wheelchair tips backwards slightly when my backpack is on the back but I am not sat in it. It is normal for me to transfer back into it when it is like this. I started to transfer but just before I sat down, an employee from this other business shoved the chair towards me (and the booth). As I sat down (because I couldn't stop myself at this point), the cup holder attached to my wheelchair got squashed against the booth frame and broke. The unsolicited, unwanted and unadvertised "assistance" of this person cost me £28 to replace and left me reliant on colleagues to bring me hot drinks until a new cup holder was delivered. Can anyone see the issue here? Or should I just have been grateful and kissed his feet or something?! How rude! I would invoice her for the cost of the cup holder, and your colleagues time for having to bring your drinks. Absolutely unnecessary behaviour! " I don't know who they are, that's the problem. I know who they work for and prior experience of complaining to that organisation was, to put it mildly, fruitless. The whole organisation is ru and staffed by ignorant people, it seems. This is the challenge of a shared building and shared business space....... | |||
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"So, People mean well, I get that. But do you ever just think stfu. For example... I have had hay-fever all my life. Its an absolute horror as I get it very badly. I love summer, bbqs, beer garden's, and that feeling just being totally chill. Hay-fever however totally ruins this for me, there are days I feel I can't even leave the house. It's always been this way and always will be, I get that. But what annoys me more than the hay-fever is the bullshit advice non hay-fever sufferers give you. "Have you tried local honey" "Why don't you try putting vasseline on your nose" "Maybe if you put some sunglasses on" Etc, etc, etc. Thank you Dr Hillary, while I'm here sneezing my brain out of my nose I'll take that advice, do you happen to have some local honey in your pocket? I've only had hay-fever for 40 years, I'd never thought to try anything other than sniffing cut grass! ![]() Have you tried closing all your windows? Pollen comes from plants and plants live outside. If you can put a barrier between you and the plants then that should help. And rub bird shit onto your earlobes. Ideally local bird shit. Welcome ![]() | |||
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"How much easier if we said "Do you need a hand?" "Would you like some suggestions for your problem?"" Problem solved. You are wise. | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA" Fellow cfs spoonie here. The amount of bs 'advise' I get from people is enough to make me want to do really bad things to people some days. One of my other pet hates, after explaining their tips are no good is the well meaning 'well I hope you feel better soon'. Ffs, no one has even done the research to find a definitive cause yet, nevermind a cure! Until that happens it's going nowhere. I also get the added problem of being told from actual medical professionals that it's normally women who get that, are you sure you really have it? Umm, yeah, I'm pretty sure I didn't just decided to go from being fit, healthy and active to totally fucked for the fun of it! ![]() | |||
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" Fellow cfs spoonie here. The amount of bs 'advise' I get from people is enough to make me want to do really bad things to people some days. One of my other pet hates, after explaining their tips are no good is the well meaning 'well I hope you feel better soon'. Ffs, no one has even done the research to find a definitive cause yet, nevermind a cure! Until that happens it's going nowhere. I also get the added problem of being told from actual medical professionals that it's normally women who get that, are you sure you really have it? Umm, yeah, I'm pretty sure I didn't just decided to go from being fit, healthy and active to totally fucked for the fun of it! ![]() Have you tried turning it off and on again?! Sorry ![]() | |||
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"Honey only works if you start eating it before summer. You need to build up your immunity over several months. And yes, it should be soft set (the grainy, cloudy stuff) honey from a local producer. Supermarket stuff won't work. I appreciate you're sick of being given advice, but I do know what I'm talking about. " "I know you don't want advice, but I know stuff, so I'm going to disregard your wishes" | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() Did you try Vaseline? The proper stuff, not the cheap stuff ![]() | |||
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"Being a woman, we are constantly given advice, especially about lady garden problems and babies." ............. ........ Don't let John Innes anywhere near you! ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() Proper Vaseline, the use by date has to have a prime number in it, and when using it you have to stand on one leg and whistle. If you don't, then it's your fault if things go wrong. | |||
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"Honey only works if you start eating it before summer. You need to build up your immunity over several months. And yes, it should be soft set (the grainy, cloudy stuff) honey from a local producer. Supermarket stuff won't work. I appreciate you're sick of being given advice, but I do know what I'm talking about. "I know you don't want advice, but I know stuff, so I'm going to disregard your wishes"" Maybe they know something. Would you incline to stick your fingers in your ears if say a doctor or mechanic were to give unsolicited advice? | |||
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"Honey only works if you start eating it before summer. You need to build up your immunity over several months. And yes, it should be soft set (the grainy, cloudy stuff) honey from a local producer. Supermarket stuff won't work. I appreciate you're sick of being given advice, but I do know what I'm talking about. "I know you don't want advice, but I know stuff, so I'm going to disregard your wishes" Maybe they know something. Would you incline to stick your fingers in your ears if say a doctor or mechanic were to give unsolicited advice?" If I said I didn't want advice, and a doctor, mechanic, brain surgeon, or anyone else gave me advice anyway, I'd consider them an arsehole ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() It wasn't exactly what you're thinking ![]() ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah, but did you try Vaseline though? | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No WD40 ![]() | |||
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" Fellow cfs spoonie here. The amount of bs 'advise' I get from people is enough to make me want to do really bad things to people some days. One of my other pet hates, after explaining their tips are no good is the well meaning 'well I hope you feel better soon'. Ffs, no one has even done the research to find a definitive cause yet, nevermind a cure! Until that happens it's going nowhere. I also get the added problem of being told from actual medical professionals that it's normally women who get that, are you sure you really have it? Umm, yeah, I'm pretty sure I didn't just decided to go from being fit, healthy and active to totally fucked for the fun of it! ![]() ![]() Forgot the old classic "you have to actually want yourself to get better, are you sure you're not just depressed? " umm, anyone who knows me says I'm one of the most cheerful, optimistic and happy people they know! Obviously adjusting to a new normal can get you down at times, but the illness is the cause of that, not vice versa. Do people really think when you wake up feeling worse than you did when you went to bed you don't want to be better? The mind boggles! I'm going to live the best life to the best of my abilities no matter what life throws at me. Keep keeping on, and always remember, the footrests on a wheelchair can cause a nasty accidental bump to the ankles of any numpties you come across! ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() See, that's your problem. WD40 might work, but while you need to stand on one leg for Vaseline, for WD40 you need to turn that frown upside down and repeat "I do believe in fairies" sixteen times. Definitely not fifteen or seventeen though. | |||
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""Eat less, move more" when people who have no clue about my life decide I want to lose weight. I'm 44. If anyone thinks I haven’t tried that they're a moron. I can't eat less. I get yelled at by the doctor when I eat less. And moving more, well... I move plenty when my pain level is low enough or when I just suck it up. People just shouldnt give unsolicited advice I guess." Omg this!!!!! So Christmas 2021 my pituitary gland stopped working. I gained about four stone in two months, it was raaaaaapid weight gain. The stress hormone (can’t mind wtf it is, the fight or flight one) is also under active, which causes a whole lot of other issues. The pituitary gland also stopped my periods, gave me insanely dry skin in my elbow pits, and on my belly (and it looks absolutely minging and NOTHING will shift it) but the weight gain is the worst thing And so many people have told me “just move more!” HUN I HAVE CHRONIC PAIN AND CHRONIC FATIGUE, I CANT MOVE OR ILL COLAPSEEEEE. Ugh Sorry I could honestly moan about this all day long. I’ve been trying so hard to lose weight and it’s just not happening. I walk back and forth to get my son from nursery every day, which is in the next village and takes about two hours overall, so it’s not as if I’m not eating. I don’t snack, I eat well enough. Ugh Sorry I keep hijacking peoples replies but I keep getting wound up ![]() | |||
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""Eat less, move more" when people who have no clue about my life decide I want to lose weight. I'm 44. If anyone thinks I haven’t tried that they're a moron. I can't eat less. I get yelled at by the doctor when I eat less. And moving more, well... I move plenty when my pain level is low enough or when I just suck it up. People just shouldnt give unsolicited advice I guess. Omg this!!!!! So Christmas 2021 my pituitary gland stopped working. I gained about four stone in two months, it was raaaaaapid weight gain. The stress hormone (can’t mind wtf it is, the fight or flight one) is also under active, which causes a whole lot of other issues. The pituitary gland also stopped my periods, gave me insanely dry skin in my elbow pits, and on my belly (and it looks absolutely minging and NOTHING will shift it) but the weight gain is the worst thing And so many people have told me “just move more!” HUN I HAVE CHRONIC PAIN AND CHRONIC FATIGUE, I CANT MOVE OR ILL COLAPSEEEEE. Ugh Sorry I could honestly moan about this all day long. I’ve been trying so hard to lose weight and it’s just not happening. I walk back and forth to get my son from nursery every day, which is in the next village and takes about two hours overall, so it’s not as if I’m not eating. I don’t snack, I eat well enough. Ugh Sorry I keep hijacking peoples replies but I keep getting wound up ![]() I hear you. And yes, it is the absolute pits. | |||
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"Honey only works if you start eating it before summer. You need to build up your immunity over several months. And yes, it should be soft set (the grainy, cloudy stuff) honey from a local producer. Supermarket stuff won't work. I appreciate you're sick of being given advice, but I do know what I'm talking about. "I know you don't want advice, but I know stuff, so I'm going to disregard your wishes" Maybe they know something. Would you incline to stick your fingers in your ears if say a doctor or mechanic were to give unsolicited advice?" I wouldn't ask my doctor for advice on pruning rose bushes and I wouldn't ask my optician to advise me on my tax return. I don't want unsolicited advice from randomers, ESPECIALLY not on the subject of health/disability (my personal bugbear). And I don't want anyone to pray for me and no, I won't convert to whatever faith you say will save me. Thanks. | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Honey then. Local honey. Not that cheap shite from Tesco. By local, we mean that the bees must have lived within a 100 metre radius of your azaleas ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Smear the honey over you while doing yoga | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Whilst reciting the rosary ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That would take the sting out of things ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Slow down with the advice please! I'm still planting the azalea before I even think about which yoga classes to book! ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Don't book online! The EMF emitted by electronic devices is probably causing ALLLLLLLLL your problems. Consider getting crystals also ![]() | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Hmm, are you sure? Because I was told it was the heavy metals and toxic mould having a massive orgy in my big toe (or something along those lines) ![]() | |||
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"I have depression and anxiety and I bugs the hell out of mean when people say stupid things like " cheer up, it's not that bad ", or " other people are worse off" ...." But you can empower yourself by being happy about useless advice! | |||
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"Honey only works if you start eating it before summer. You need to build up your immunity over several months. And yes, it should be soft set (the grainy, cloudy stuff) honey from a local producer. Supermarket stuff won't work. I appreciate you're sick of being given advice, but I do know what I'm talking about. "I know you don't want advice, but I know stuff, so I'm going to disregard your wishes" Maybe they know something. Would you incline to stick your fingers in your ears if say a doctor or mechanic were to give unsolicited advice? If I said I didn't want advice, and a doctor, mechanic, brain surgeon, or anyone else gave me advice anyway, I'd consider them an arsehole ![]() This is tiresome now but I'm gonna try one last time. Some people find certain anti-histamines work for them. Other people find other anti-histamines work. And anti-histamines do nothing for other people. Now to vaseline. Same as anti-histamines , your mileage may vary. But it works as a preventative method, really has to be applied first thing by my experience. Maybe you know something I don't but I don't believe the efficacy is related to the brand. Its really simple how it works, its a barrier method. If you object to petroleum jelly then beeswax will serve the same purpose. But remember, your mileage may vary. | |||
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"Honey only works if you start eating it before summer. You need to build up your immunity over several months. And yes, it should be soft set (the grainy, cloudy stuff) honey from a local producer. Supermarket stuff won't work. I appreciate you're sick of being given advice, but I do know what I'm talking about. "I know you don't want advice, but I know stuff, so I'm going to disregard your wishes" Maybe they know something. Would you incline to stick your fingers in your ears if say a doctor or mechanic were to give unsolicited advice? If I said I didn't want advice, and a doctor, mechanic, brain surgeon, or anyone else gave me advice anyway, I'd consider them an arsehole ![]() And if the person has explicitly said that they don't want advice, the person offering it is still an arsehole. Even if it eliminates hayfever from humanity. Doing something when someone says they don't want you to is an arsehole thing to do. Your mileage doesn't vary. | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA" You sound like a perfect candidate for cannabis to be honest. I know many are against it, and I am as a recreational drug, but I know from experience that it can help in situations such as yours. Haven't a clue where you'd get it from but I'm sure there'll be someone local who could help. | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I dont let anyone near me azalea | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA You sound like a perfect candidate for cannabis to be honest. I know many are against it, and I am as a recreational drug, but I know from experience that it can help in situations such as yours. Haven't a clue where you'd get it from but I'm sure there'll be someone local who could help." Thank you for being a prime example of someone giving unsolicited advice ![]() | |||
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"I have depression and anxiety and I bugs the hell out of mean when people say stupid things like " cheer up, it's not that bad ", or " other people are worse off" ...." I tell them they shouldn’t be happy cause people have it better than them | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA You sound like a perfect candidate for cannabis to be honest. I know many are against it, and I am as a recreational drug, but I know from experience that it can help in situations such as yours. Haven't a clue where you'd get it from but I'm sure there'll be someone local who could help. Thank you for being a prime example of someone giving unsolicited advice ![]() Happy to be of service ![]() | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA You sound like a perfect candidate for cannabis to be honest. I know many are against it, and I am as a recreational drug, but I know from experience that it can help in situations such as yours. Haven't a clue where you'd get it from but I'm sure there'll be someone local who could help. Thank you for being a prime example of someone giving unsolicited advice ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA You sound like a perfect candidate for cannabis to be honest. I know many are against it, and I am as a recreational drug, but I know from experience that it can help in situations such as yours. Haven't a clue where you'd get it from but I'm sure there'll be someone local who could help." You know its still addictive in long term usage, right? Just because it's herbal don't mean that's it's not harmful ![]() | |||
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"I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I’m in constant pain and agony. I’m on a huge cocktail of pain killers, I have a walking stick for my worst days, and always wear my comfy trainers because if I don’t, my feet are fucked. I’ve been with the pain clinic for three years, had MRIs, ultrasounds, been to different clinics within the hospital and am back and forth at the GP fortnightly. And I always get; “Have you tried yoga?” “Have a hot bath” “Just rest” “Push through it” “Sleep” - oh yeah I can’t sleep cause despite being constantly exhausted I HAVE INSOMNIA! I fall asleep constantly throughout the day and have little cat naps here and there and I struggle to fucking function The pain is fucking killing me, I can’t live my life properly and I hate it, but yeah, LET ME TRY YOGAAAAA You sound like a perfect candidate for cannabis to be honest. I know many are against it, and I am as a recreational drug, but I know from experience that it can help in situations such as yours. Haven't a clue where you'd get it from but I'm sure there'll be someone local who could help. You know its still addictive in long term usage, right? Just because it's herbal don't mean that's it's not harmful ![]() I don't condone it's use but I know from experience that it has helped some people in certain situations. Who am I to say don't use it? If you're in constant pain you will do what you have to do. | |||
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"It'll be fine she said .. You're bi aren't you ?? Crap advice never again ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Not close enough. You have to keep the beehive in your bedroom. Under your duvet. And sleep spooned up to it. Buzz while you sleep. Buzz, not snore.And be naked when you harvest the honey. Well, it's not my fault if you're doing it wrong. ![]() | |||
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"Boring " Don't read it then. [Unsolicited advice, given freely, on thread about unsolicited advice. You're welcome ![]() | |||
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