FabSwingers.com forum: Brain Matter's??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How we behave,what we say,words we use towards others and ourselves.

On here other Apps,in our Daily Lives,In relationships,work,Neighbours etc etc.

All or most are Deep rooted Survival Mechs learned for us to cope with Stress,Anxiety,Failure and Much more.

Many reach out in good faith to connnect with people on here.

But are Shunned,ghosted,Awoled,replys Hanging etc etc. Non type,not so ie good-looking or worse

All these have affects on the Doer onto other's and themselves.

We can reprograme the Brain away from these very patterns Daily.

Yet time,fear,low self asteem,mental blocks. Others will want and like us for who we are.

Its not looks the extetnal. All is driven by behaviours,personality all those show in how we talk,type,and body language.

How can we all improve our experience here and the world at large?

Feed back welcome,constructive?

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

This AI isn't as clever as I'd been led to believe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This AI isn't as clever as I'd been led to believe "

Nothing to do with AI.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

So many of our instincts are still from caveman days. They really don't serve us at all well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We each have our own natural personalities, adapted by our surroundings, history, wins and losses and so many other influences, both good and bad.

Nature versus nurture is defining.

Our triggers are our own to work on, to understand and to learn to deal with them.

It is not for the rest of the world to work on, as we each should work on ourselves.

To create a better, more understanding society, we need to individually become more understanding and work together, instead of quickly creating a divide for any reason that suits.

For this place to improve massively, we don't need the site to make any big changes, but all get on board together to operate in a similar fashion, therefore making things very clear to others.

I'm not sure I'm relating to anything you're getting at, I'm just using this space to free some thought process.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

To be the best versions of ourselves may improve our experiences.

1. Look inside, why are we allowing strangers power over our reactions. It takes time and self-awareness and then we can choose not to be insulted by how others communicate with us.

2. This is the reverse of the above. Why are we insulting others? There are healthier ways to feel good about ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be the best versions of ourselves may improve our experiences.

1. Look inside, why are we allowing strangers power over our reactions. It takes time and self-awareness and then we can choose not to be insulted by how others communicate with us.

2. This is the reverse of the above. Why are we insulting others? There are healthier ways to feel good about ourselves."

That's kinda what I said, in a far more concise way.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"To be the best versions of ourselves may improve our experiences.

1. Look inside, why are we allowing strangers power over our reactions. It takes time and self-awareness and then we can choose not to be insulted by how others communicate with us.

2. This is the reverse of the above. Why are we insulting others? There are healthier ways to feel good about ourselves.

That's kinda what I said, in a far more concise way.

I noticed

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Never behave on social media in a way that you wouldn’t behave in real life if the person you are talking to was standing in front of you.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Agree with Amelie. When people say they are offended by something they have chosen to be offended. If you are the person that you want to be then it shouldn't affect you negatively. People also need to remember that although the Internet has been around for a while now it shouldn't be their whole life, it should be a distraction at most. In day to day life there's nowhere near the level of angst that you see online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We live in the stories we tell ourselves. What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.

If someome behaves in a way you don't like, find five different reasons why. Your first two answers say much about you. The later answers will be more empathetic. And at the very least you realise you just dkntg know what's going on in anyone's heads or anyone's life.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"... are Shunned,ghosted,Awoled,replys Hanging etc etc. Non type,not so ie good-looking or worse..."

As for this, OP, so what? This site is to connect people who are like-minded. If criteria isn't matched, should we placate opportunists?

Should I placate that married man who didn't bother to read my profile and now has a hurt ego?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s a very long winded way to say you can’t get meets.

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

Mentally we are all a mix of genetics and our life experiences. These have shown us that most folk are not what we are looking for, hence our experience here is going to be difficult (and getting worse as the years go by). Yet we also know, kind, caring tactile and loving, honest and sexually open people do exist like shiny needles in the fab haystack. Our communications are not driven by survival instincts, coping methods or whatever, more a mating call with a little bit of testing mixed in (many fail the first hurdles). We do what we can and learn as we go along yet will not change what we are deep down....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That’s a very long winded way to say you can’t get meets."

That's a long way to say you've nothing to add.

See what I did there?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So many of our instincts are still from caveman days. They really don't serve us at all well. "

Do we not have any say or input onto it daily?

Ie actions,self improvement etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That’s a very long winded way to say you can’t get meets.

That's a long way to say you've nothing to add.

See what I did there?

It’s exactly what the thread is about.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That’s a very long winded way to say you can’t get meets.

That's a long way to say you've nothing to add.

See what I did there?

You did do yet only poke!

Meets lol

Your very funny humour will get you much likes on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Agree with Amelie. When people say they are offended by something they have chosen to be offended. If you are the person that you want to be then it shouldn't affect you negatively. People also need to remember that although the Internet has been around for a while now it shouldn't be their whole life, it should be a distraction at most. In day to day life there's nowhere near the level of angst that you see online."

Food for thought!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" "... are Shunned,ghosted,Awoled,replys Hanging etc etc. Non type,not so ie good-looking or worse..."

As for this, OP, so what? This site is to connect people who are like-minded. If criteria isn't matched, should we placate opportunists?

Should I placate that married man who didn't bother to read my profile and now has a hurt ego?"

Rightly so.

Many of those actions were not directed towards me or at me off of fab!

I have read many forum posts of such actions towards many on here.

My post was to open up conversation's about our huuman mind, actions behaviour how can we add improve or better it.

I am not saddened my not my type,dislike,not for me thank you.

Its an app we all use for many reasons as we all are here on planet earth liveing what ever way we see fit.

The age of apps and internet. Onwards we go.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

" "... are Shunned,ghosted,Awoled,replys Hanging etc etc. Non type,not so ie good-looking or worse..."

As for this, OP, so what? This site is to connect people who are like-minded. If criteria isn't matched, should we placate opportunists?

Should I placate that married man who didn't bother to read my profile and now has a hurt ego?

Rightly so.

Many of those actions were not directed towards me or at me off of fab!

I have read many forum posts of such actions towards many on here.

My post was to open up conversation's about our huuman mind, actions behaviour how can we add improve or better it.

I am not saddened my not my type,dislike,not for me thank you.

Its an app we all use for many reasons as we all are here on planet earth liveing what ever way we see fit.

The age of apps and internet. Onwards we go.

Are you saying I should placate the guy/s?

And none of my responses are aimed at you.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Care less.

Send a message and the forget about it, if you get a reply great, if you don't you've already moved on.

You're self worth doesn't come from popularity on the online world of Argos shopping for people. It comes from within.

Don't sweat the small stuff, if you're getting working up and losing your temper at every small slight or inconvenience you are creating a really unpleasant reality for yourself. Your brain understands the reality that you feed it. If you're always looking for negative you will always find negative to reinforce that belief. Likewise if you look for the positive you will find it. Chose who you want to be.

Also send me nudes.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"How we behave,what we say,words we use towards others and ourselves.