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When will it stop?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Another thought that I had today has led me back to you lovely angels and devils.

With our (society’s?) understanding of gender beyond the traditional, outdated classic stereotypes, why are so many children’s clothes and toy sections still so gendered?! I wonder if we will ever truly move to a place of not socialising our kids in gendered ways.

What are our thoughts on gendered socialisation? What are our thoughts on raising boys and girls the same way? Giving boys the space to ‘Be kind’ and girls the chance to be a ‘cool dude’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son has always been able to play and wear whatever we want. We’ve literally just got home with Morrisons with three dresses because he wanted them

I think things are a lot more ‘mixed’ nowadays. My son wears leggings (and only leggings) because he loves them. He loves bright and colourful ones, and is always wearing rainbows. He has baby dolls, a home kitchen, a buggy for his babies, barbie dolls etc. But also has the more typical ‘boys’ toys. I just go with the flow. I have however, bought him a few books - can’t remember the name of them atm but there’s one about a flamingo who doesn’t want to be pink, one about a prince who wants to be a princess, and we’re currently reading ‘pridey’ which is about finding your colours

My son also had longer hair for a while cause he didn’t want it cut. It’s pretty short now, but he’s already told me he wants ‘long hair like mummy’ so we’ll see how that goes

A few people have made comments here and there, but not many, and I can usually always twist the questions back on them and make them feel awkward. So it’s all good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My son has always been able to play and wear whatever we want. We’ve literally just got home with Morrisons with three dresses because he wanted them

I think things are a lot more ‘mixed’ nowadays. My son wears leggings (and only leggings) because he loves them. He loves bright and colourful ones, and is always wearing rainbows. He has baby dolls, a home kitchen, a buggy for his babies, barbie dolls etc. But also has the more typical ‘boys’ toys. I just go with the flow. I have however, bought him a few books - can’t remember the name of them atm but there’s one about a flamingo who doesn’t want to be pink, one about a prince who wants to be a princess, and we’re currently reading ‘pridey’ which is about finding your colours

My son also had longer hair for a while cause he didn’t want it cut. It’s pretty short now, but he’s already told me he wants ‘long hair like mummy’ so we’ll see how that goes

A few people have made comments here and there, but not many, and I can usually always twist the questions back on them and make them feel awkward. So it’s all good "

Oh and my sons coolest jumper says ‘boys will be boys…nice humans!’ With the ‘boys’ scratched out

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

When my daughter was young, all her hair fell out, so I dressed her in girlie clothes so that she didn't get misgendered.

As she got older, I found it fraustrating how segregated the options were, but it Is improving.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

In not so sure its a shops responsibility. As a parent we can talk to our children and let them choose from whichever section they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In not so sure its a shops responsibility. As a parent we can talk to our children and let them choose from whichever section they want. "

Yeah I agree with this ^

My son has never looked at something and said ‘aw no it’s in the girls section, can’t buy that’ if he wants it, he can (usually) have it. Doesn’t matter what section, as long as it fits (or can be taken in to fit, as he’s so skinny and tall)

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

Its supply and demand, unless people stopped buying the gendered items in the ways that we do then there is no incentive to do it

Also, look at whats happening in America with Targets pride collection. People are in uproar over the possibility of mixing the ideas and sticking a rainbow on a childs item of clothing. Not saying the same would happen in the UK but its an example when companies try (given its purly rainbow washing) theres certain areas that will strongly and vocally disapprove that seems to lead the way in sticking with the status quo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its supply and demand, unless people stopped buying the gendered items in the ways that we do then there is no incentive to do it

Also, look at whats happening in America with Targets pride collection. People are in uproar over the possibility of mixing the ideas and sticking a rainbow on a childs item of clothing. Not saying the same would happen in the UK but its an example when companies try (given its purly rainbow washing) theres certain areas that will strongly and vocally disapprove that seems to lead the way in sticking with the status quo "

Ugh I hate all that shit

Especially everyone fuming about the tucking bikini bottoms

Normal bikini bottoms are so thin at the fanny area as it is, I’d probably buy the tucking ones for my fat cis ass!

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston


"Its supply and demand, unless people stopped buying the gendered items in the ways that we do then there is no incentive to do it

Also, look at whats happening in America with Targets pride collection. People are in uproar over the possibility of mixing the ideas and sticking a rainbow on a childs item of clothing. Not saying the same would happen in the UK but its an example when companies try (given its purly rainbow washing) theres certain areas that will strongly and vocally disapprove that seems to lead the way in sticking with the status quo

Ugh I hate all that shit

Especially everyone fuming about the tucking bikini bottoms

Normal bikini bottoms are so thin at the fanny area as it is, I’d probably buy the tucking ones for my fat cis ass!"

Exactly! Its pathetic theres so many more pressing issues that are going on and thats what they focus on. Half of the arguments make 0 factual sense to begin with but thats a different debate that i dont want to get into

I can see that honestly some of the main lines of bikinis half the time isnt much fabric so surly it would appeal to everyone who doesnt want the “normal” kind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its supply and demand, unless people stopped buying the gendered items in the ways that we do then there is no incentive to do it

Also, look at whats happening in America with Targets pride collection. People are in uproar over the possibility of mixing the ideas and sticking a rainbow on a childs item of clothing. Not saying the same would happen in the UK but its an example when companies try (given its purly rainbow washing) theres certain areas that will strongly and vocally disapprove that seems to lead the way in sticking with the status quo

Ugh I hate all that shit

Especially everyone fuming about the tucking bikini bottoms

Normal bikini bottoms are so thin at the fanny area as it is, I’d probably buy the tucking ones for my fat cis ass!

Exactly! Its pathetic theres so many more pressing issues that are going on and thats what they focus on. Half of the arguments make 0 factual sense to begin with but thats a different debate that i dont want to get into

I can see that honestly some of the main lines of bikinis half the time isnt much fabric so surly it would appeal to everyone who doesnt want the “normal” kind

"

Did you see the guy who went and destroyed an LGBTQ+ display at Walmart? And then turns out he’s all over Grindr as a little sissy cuck?

Also I agree. It’s a huuuuuuuuuge drama over nothing. God forbid your child wears rainbows I took my son to his first pride March in March (was our local town) and he loved it. He knows people can love who they want, but he just assumed we were marching for rainbows he has a pair of Vans that have rainbow acid wash on them and he wore them today for his Pridey book lol

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

This is something I feel very strongly about. To say too much would be identifying but I spend a lot of time telling young folk that 'colours are for everyone', 'girls can love dinosaurs' and all sorts of other things to try to fight this societal pressure.

J

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston


"Its supply and demand, unless people stopped buying the gendered items in the ways that we do then there is no incentive to do it

Also, look at whats happening in America with Targets pride collection. People are in uproar over the possibility of mixing the ideas and sticking a rainbow on a childs item of clothing. Not saying the same would happen in the UK but its an example when companies try (given its purly rainbow washing) theres certain areas that will strongly and vocally disapprove that seems to lead the way in sticking with the status quo

Ugh I hate all that shit

Especially everyone fuming about the tucking bikini bottoms

Normal bikini bottoms are so thin at the fanny area as it is, I’d probably buy the tucking ones for my fat cis ass!

Exactly! Its pathetic theres so many more pressing issues that are going on and thats what they focus on. Half of the arguments make 0 factual sense to begin with but thats a different debate that i dont want to get into

I can see that honestly some of the main lines of bikinis half the time isnt much fabric so surly it would appeal to everyone who doesnt want the “normal” kind

Did you see the guy who went and destroyed an LGBTQ+ display at Walmart? And then turns out he’s all over Grindr as a little sissy cuck?

Also I agree. It’s a huuuuuuuuuge drama over nothing. God forbid your child wears rainbows I took my son to his first pride March in March (was our local town) and he loved it. He knows people can love who they want, but he just assumed we were marching for rainbows he has a pair of Vans that have rainbow acid wash on them and he wore them today for his Pridey book lol"

I did! Amazing its always the biggest open homophobes are always the ones who get caught out! Same as a few of the politicians too, a few were open drag queens too!

Exactly! What is wearing a certain item of clothing that society has stuck a lable to going to change. Absolutely nothing. As long as the people wearing it are happy thats all that matters.

Im so glad he loved it there! Its so true all this hate is learnt behavior, no one is born to hate it comes from somewhere and if people were open to showing people the differences in everyones lives society would be a nicer place for the kids of the future!

Aww bless him!

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"Another thought that I had today has led me back to you lovely angels and devils.

With our (society’s?) understanding of gender beyond the traditional, outdated classic stereotypes, why are so many children’s clothes and toy sections still so gendered?! I wonder if we will ever truly move to a place of not socialising our kids in gendered ways.

What are our thoughts on gendered socialisation? What are our thoughts on raising boys and girls the same way? Giving boys the space to ‘Be kind’ and girls the chance to be a ‘cool dude’"

We got a long long way to go. In the meantime, man up.

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By *bwlady123Woman
over a year ago

private

I think it is changing slowly very slowly but becoming a lot more accepting

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"In not so sure its a shops responsibility. As a parent we can talk to our children and let them choose from whichever section they want. "

Why are there separate sections in the first place, though? Just shove it all in together, job's a goodun

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Until young people vote and keep voting and hold the people accountable. Call me cynical (i am) but a few generations have to shuffle off their mortal coil and corporations have to be held accountable as well.

There's more but that would be a start.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Not for as many centuries as it took for the current social norms to develop probably. They're a lot different now to fifty even twenty five years ago so progress is slowly being made

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Life is mostly gendered though Steve. Disney is a huge part of it for many many kids.

Have you seen the secret Life of 4 & 5 year olds, the psychology is very interesting, as to what they gravitate to when they free play.

Yes parents should let the kids choose what they want to play with, but societal family homes has more impact, on kids thoughts, of what their gendered roles are in the family home

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was going to share my experience but don’t want to be accused of lying about it again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Life is mostly gendered though Steve. Disney is a huge part of it for many many kids.

Have you seen the secret Life of 4 & 5 year olds, the psychology is very interesting, as to what they gravitate to when they free play.

Yes parents should let the kids choose what they want to play with, but societal family homes has more impact, on kids thoughts, of what their gendered roles are in the family home "

I have watched a few different age groups of that show and it’s interesting. Obviously I’m of the belief that that socialisation done at home and in youth is extremely important to understanding of gender. But I also think businesses marketing the way they do has an impact on a parent’s and a child’s perception and understanding of gender.

You’re right life is mostly gendered. And personally I wish it wasn’t so much but whether we’re able to rethink gender and be more accepting across all ages is a tough question to pose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Update; my three year old son is currently in a dress telling me how he’s a Queen with no crown. Claims it’s invisible. Thought about giving him the tiara I wore on my wedding day, but am I fuck letting him break that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My son has always been able to play and wear whatever we want. We’ve literally just got home with Morrisons with three dresses because he wanted them

I think things are a lot more ‘mixed’ nowadays. My son wears leggings (and only leggings) because he loves them. He loves bright and colourful ones, and is always wearing rainbows. He has baby dolls, a home kitchen, a buggy for his babies, barbie dolls etc. But also has the more typical ‘boys’ toys. I just go with the flow. I have however, bought him a few books - can’t remember the name of them atm but there’s one about a flamingo who doesn’t want to be pink, one about a prince who wants to be a princess, and we’re currently reading ‘pridey’ which is about finding your colours

My son also had longer hair for a while cause he didn’t want it cut. It’s pretty short now, but he’s already told me he wants ‘long hair like mummy’ so we’ll see how that goes

A few people have made comments here and there, but not many, and I can usually always twist the questions back on them and make them feel awkward. So it’s all good "

Sounds brill!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In not so sure its a shops responsibility. As a parent we can talk to our children and let them choose from whichever section they want.

Why are there separate sections in the first place, though? Just shove it all in together, job's a goodun "

Just bang the dolls under "dolls" and the cars under "cars" or whatever and let the kids pick what they want

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Because babies look horrible I'm grey and black.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"My son has always been able to play and wear whatever we want. We’ve literally just got home with Morrisons with three dresses because he wanted them

I think things are a lot more ‘mixed’ nowadays. My son wears leggings (and only leggings) because he loves them. He loves bright and colourful ones, and is always wearing rainbows. He has baby dolls, a home kitchen, a buggy for his babies, barbie dolls etc. But also has the more typical ‘boys’ toys. I just go with the flow. I have however, bought him a few books - can’t remember the name of them atm but there’s one about a flamingo who doesn’t want to be pink, one about a prince who wants to be a princess, and we’re currently reading ‘pridey’ which is about finding your colours

My son also had longer hair for a while cause he didn’t want it cut. It’s pretty short now, but he’s already told me he wants ‘long hair like mummy’ so we’ll see how that goes

A few people have made comments here and there, but not many, and I can usually always twist the questions back on them and make them feel awkward. So it’s all good "

Awesome love this x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"In not so sure its a shops responsibility. As a parent we can talk to our children and let them choose from whichever section they want.

Yeah I agree with this ^

My son has never looked at something and said ‘aw no it’s in the girls section, can’t buy that’ if he wants it, he can (usually) have it. Doesn’t matter what section, as long as it fits (or can be taken in to fit, as he’s so skinny and tall)"

Sadly our daughter DOES see things in shops and refuse to try them, if she thinks they're in the boy's section sometimes. It's not because we encourage gendering such things because we don't. She's always had clothes from all sorts of places, including "boys" jogging bottoms, hoodies, trainers etc. Current school shoes are from the "boys" collection because girls school shoes are ridiculous and do not cover the foot properly. She said she didn't like them at first, but is fine now. Despite me being the total opposite, she's quite a girly girl.

We are very open and flexible when it comes to such things. To us, clothes are clothes, toys are toys etc. She has far more typically "boys" toys than she does clothes. She loves dinosaurs and likes playing trains and cars and Lego, but also dolls etc. I was a girl who never liked dolls and so it wouldn't occur to me to buy them, yet she likes them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems to me that as socially acceptable gender roles have moved away from the traditional, toys and clothes for boys and girls have become more polarised. When I was little there wasn't nearly as much pink and blue on the clothes rails as there is now. There was, however, an awful lot of brown and orange available for both sexes, but hey, it was the early 80's.

It's almost as if having children who are now free from the limited and specific gender roles of the past, who are free to choose their careers based on interest and passion rather than what was historically expected, that society has freaked out a bit and foisted an overwhelming amount of pink on girls and blue on boys, just to be sure that they know what they are and that they don't forget. It's madness.

Nell

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Next time I'm in Smyths I'm going to look to see if the sections are labelled girls and boys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It seems to me that as socially acceptable gender roles have moved away from the traditional, toys and clothes for boys and girls have become more polarised. When I was little there wasn't nearly as much pink and blue on the clothes rails as there is now. There was, however, an awful lot of brown and orange available for both sexes, but hey, it was the early 80's.

It's almost as if having children who are now free from the limited and specific gender roles of the past, who are free to choose their careers based on interest and passion rather than what was historically expected, that society has freaked out a bit and foisted an overwhelming amount of pink on girls and blue on boys, just to be sure that they know what they are and that they don't forget. It's madness.

Nell"

You should go on TikTok and find the sad beige children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It seems to me that as socially acceptable gender roles have moved away from the traditional, toys and clothes for boys and girls have become more polarised. When I was little there wasn't nearly as much pink and blue on the clothes rails as there is now. There was, however, an awful lot of brown and orange available for both sexes, but hey, it was the early 80's.

It's almost as if having children who are now free from the limited and specific gender roles of the past, who are free to choose their careers based on interest and passion rather than what was historically expected, that society has freaked out a bit and foisted an overwhelming amount of pink on girls and blue on boys, just to be sure that they know what they are and that they don't forget. It's madness.

Nell

You should go on TikTok and find the sad beige children "

I just did!

"I call this one The Ennui of Existence". That was me, aged 4, in my brown polyester trousers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It seems to me that as socially acceptable gender roles have moved away from the traditional, toys and clothes for boys and girls have become more polarised. When I was little there wasn't nearly as much pink and blue on the clothes rails as there is now. There was, however, an awful lot of brown and orange available for both sexes, but hey, it was the early 80's.

It's almost as if having children who are now free from the limited and specific gender roles of the past, who are free to choose their careers based on interest and passion rather than what was historically expected, that society has freaked out a bit and foisted an overwhelming amount of pink on girls and blue on boys, just to be sure that they know what they are and that they don't forget. It's madness.

Nell

You should go on TikTok and find the sad beige children

I just did!

"I call this one The Ennui of Existence". That was me, aged 4, in my brown polyester trousers "

For maybe four months during lockdown (before my son was one) I did the whole beige baby thing…was far too boring my son does have wooden toys and stuff like that but I just couldn’t go full blown sad beige child

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By *ed MartinMan
over a year ago

Shefford


"My son has always been able to play and wear whatever we want. We’ve literally just got home with Morrisons with three dresses because he wanted them

I think things are a lot more ‘mixed’ nowadays. My son wears leggings (and only leggings) because he loves them. He loves bright and colourful ones, and is always wearing rainbows. He has baby dolls, a home kitchen, a buggy for his babies, barbie dolls etc. But also has the more typical ‘boys’ toys. I just go with the flow. I have however, bought him a few books - can’t remember the name of them atm but there’s one about a flamingo who doesn’t want to be pink, one about a prince who wants to be a princess, and we’re currently reading ‘pridey’ which is about finding your colours

My son also had longer hair for a while cause he didn’t want it cut. It’s pretty short now, but he’s already told me he wants ‘long hair like mummy’ so we’ll see how that goes

A few people have made comments here and there, but not many, and I can usually always twist the questions back on them and make them feel awkward. So it’s all good "

Sounds like your boy has a rockstar Mum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a gender-bending boydyke (ftm) I’m also buying my nephew ‘girls’ clothes and everyone’s always turning their nose up at it, saying that he doesn’t want that, he’s a boy…hes 6 months old, he doesn’t even know he exists lmao

I’ve never cared about gender in clothes and when I got to 14 and started doing my own clothes shopping I was always in the ‘men’s’ section and loved it and nowadays clothes shops seem to think they are revolutionary by having a girls, boys, and unisex section…how about we just get rid of the sections

Kids don’t get about what they wear and adults shouldn’t either; it’s just a piece of fabric, who cares what colour it is or what character it has one or anything…just be a boydyke and move on. Butch lesbianism for the win

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Butch lesbianism for the win "

I see your butch lesbianism and raise you camp transvestsism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Butch lesbianism for the win

I see your butch lesbianism and raise you camp transvestsism "

The world would be a better place if there were more butch lesbianism AND camp transvestsism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Butch lesbianism for the win

I see your butch lesbianism and raise you camp transvestsism "

I’ll see your butch lesbianism and camp transvestism and raise you a boring heterosexual woman as you were

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don’t hate pink and blue shit.

I just hate that all the girls clothes are like ‘be kind’ and ‘smile’ and frozen and all that shit. Super charged by the way imo! And all the boy stuff is like ‘cool dude’, ‘skater boy’ and the avengers and shit. It’s literally so ridiculous.

You can dress your kids in whatever but the fact that they’ve been marketed at genders like that is just not it for me.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I don’t hate pink and blue shit.

I just hate that all the girls clothes are like ‘be kind’ and ‘smile’ and frozen and all that shit. Super charged by the way imo! And all the boy stuff is like ‘cool dude’, ‘skater boy’ and the avengers and shit. It’s literally so ridiculous.

You can dress your kids in whatever but the fact that they’ve been marketed at genders like that is just not it for me. "

Totally agree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t hate pink and blue shit.

I just hate that all the girls clothes are like ‘be kind’ and ‘smile’ and frozen and all that shit. Super charged by the way imo! And all the boy stuff is like ‘cool dude’, ‘skater boy’ and the avengers and shit. It’s literally so ridiculous.

You can dress your kids in whatever but the fact that they’ve been marketed at genders like that is just not it for me. "

What do boys like?

Dinosaurs!

Awesome…what else?!

Eh…surfing!!

Oh fuck yeah. We can have a dinosaur SURFING!!!

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t hate pink and blue shit.

I just hate that all the girls clothes are like ‘be kind’ and ‘smile’ and frozen and all that shit. Super charged by the way imo! And all the boy stuff is like ‘cool dude’, ‘skater boy’ and the avengers and shit. It’s literally so ridiculous.

You can dress your kids in whatever but the fact that they’ve been marketed at genders like that is just not it for me. "

Agree; just throw it all in a kids aisle and call it a day

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