FabSwingers.com forum: Crappy day

By *rFoxAndXeno OP Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Hello Fabbers. Can you tell me something awesome, hilarious or interesting to make me smile after this rubbish day?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

You have lovely eyes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows

And Napoleon hung it in the bathroom when he borrowed it from the louvre

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I've just shaved my cats belly. He's long haired and it's hot... He actually loves it, just lies there and let's me at him with the clippers. Just don't tell my dad, they're the same ones I use to do his hair

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just shaved my cats belly. He's long haired and it's hot... He actually loves it, just lies there and let's me at him with the clippers. Just don't tell my dad, they're the same ones I use to do his hair

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed MartinMan
over a year ago

Shefford

Nadine Dorries resigned as Mid Bed MP, in readiness for Boris to give her a peerage in his resignation honours list. Boris didn’t give her a peerage, so now we get a by election!

Well…it made me smile!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Yes, some distractions would be lovely right now. My day has gone a bit crappily sideways too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Brigadier Sir Nils Olav III is a king penguin who resides in Edinburgh Zoo. He is the mascot and colonel-in-chief of the Norwegian King's Guard. The name 'Nils Olav' and associated ranks have been passed down through three king penguins since 1972 – the current holder being Nils Olav III

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently there is a world record for furthest cumshot and it belongs to Horst Schultz at 18 feet and 9 inches which I guess is roughly nearly 6 metres

He will go far

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innocentMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

It's the hottest day ,enjoy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

That's totally bonkers, love it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Apparently there is a world record for furthest cumshot and it belongs to Horst Schultz at 18 feet and 9 inches which I guess is roughly nearly 6 metres

He will go far

That can't be true, surely???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *razzyhorseMan
over a year ago

cambridge

"Apparently there is a world record for furthest cumshot and it belongs to Horst Schultz at 18 feet and 9 inches which I guess is roughly nearly 6 metres

He will go far

How did they measure it? Was it wind assisted? Or a the top of a steep hill? Was he trying to set a record? Was a Guinness BoR official there to adjudicate?

Please don't tell me this is a lie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Apparently there is a world record for furthest cumshot and it belongs to Horst Schultz at 18 feet and 9 inches which I guess is roughly nearly 6 metres

He will go far

How did they measure it? Was it wind assisted? Or a the top of a steep hill? Was he trying to set a record? Was a Guinness BoR official there to adjudicate?

Please don't tell me this is a lie

I think it's apocryphal sadly. Norris McWhirter, whose own name sounds like a euphemism for cumshot, is turning in his grave.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently it's the anniversary of the afternoon tea...so treat yourself to some scones.

I haven't done anything, or heard anything ridiculous for a while so no funny stories...

Saying that something is bound to trip me up soon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I told my daughters I had been called an older man recently.

They decided to liquidise my breakfast because: 'We know you may struggle with solid foods now.'

Thanks girls, I feel much better now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently there is a world record for furthest cumshot and it belongs to Horst Schultz at 18 feet and 9 inches which I guess is roughly nearly 6 metres

He will go far

How did they measure it? Was it wind assisted? Or a the top of a steep hill? Was he trying to set a record? Was a Guinness BoR official there to adjudicate?

Please don't tell me this is a lie

I haven't bothered to check, just a fun fact to cheer up OP

The image makes me smile. Cum blaster !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or "fact".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over

The standard trumpet is about 4 feet 10 inches, and trumpet players have the most sort dextrous fingers and can breathe through their ears…….legend has it.

Hope you feel lighter soon x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entlemanFoxMan
over a year ago

North East / London

Well I am now regretting not buying the Haagen Dazs mixed selection pack at the shop last night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"I told my daughters I had been called an older man recently.

They decided to liquidise my breakfast because: 'We know you may struggle with solid foods now.'

Thanks girls, I feel much better now."

That's brilliant. Well played by them!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Julie will be playing with wood tonight

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

A cock is twice as long as you think because half of it is inside you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Julie will be playing with wood tonight "

I need to know if this is awesome, hilarious or interesting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Julie will be playing with wood tonight

I need to know if this is awesome, hilarious or interesting.

I'll let you know later

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Julie will be playing with wood tonight

I need to know if this is awesome, hilarious or interesting.

I'll let you know later

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Julie will be playing with wood tonight

I need to know if this is awesome, hilarious or interesting.

I'll let you know later

I've got mine ready, it's not great

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

My doggy is back home after 2 weeks holidaying at the grandparents. He wasn't even fussed to see me the little shit!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"My doggy is back home after 2 weeks holidaying at the grandparents. He wasn't even fussed to see me the little shit!!"

Awww, I bet he's had the best time! Probably sulking about not being spoilt rotten anymore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

The day has gone sidewayser (new word, deal with it).

Moar distract pls.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

I'm trying archery, bits hurt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"I'm trying archery, bits hurt

Which bits? We tried that last summer. Good fun but so many things to try to think about at the same time!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Thank you to everyone who helped distract me. My Dad had fallen and was having a CT scan. All has come back clear

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *razzyhorseMan
over a year ago

cambridge

"Apparently there is a world record for furthest cumshot and it belongs to Horst Schultz at 18 feet and 9 inches which I guess is roughly nearly 6 metres

He will go far

How did they measure it? Was it wind assisted? Or a the top of a steep hill? Was he trying to set a record? Was a Guinness BoR official there to adjudicate?

Please don't tell me this is a lie

I think it's apocryphal sadly. Norris McWhirter, whose own name sounds like a euphemism for cumshot, is turning in his grave.

Then we are all still in with a shout of having our names written within the hallowed pages of GBoR?

Right someone call one of their adjudicators and I'll find a tape measure!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over

"Thank you to everyone who helped distract me. My Dad had fallen and was having a CT scan. All has come back clear

So sorry he fell but wishing him a speedy recovery

and glad the scan came back all clear xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Thank you to everyone who helped distract me. My Dad had fallen and was having a CT scan. All has come back clear

So sorry he fell but wishing him a speedy recovery

and glad the scan came back all clear xx"

Thank you xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *razzyhorseMan
over a year ago

cambridge

"Thank you to everyone who helped distract me. My Dad had fallen and was having a CT scan. All has come back clear

Great news! I know exactly how you feel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

"I'm trying archery, bits hurt

Which bits? We tried that last summer. Good fun but so many things to try to think about at the same time!

Fingers mainly (even with guard) oh and the forearm gaurd slipped so I got a string burn

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"I'm trying archery, bits hurt

Which bits? We tried that last summer. Good fun but so many things to try to think about at the same time!

Fingers mainly (even with guard) oh and the forearm gaurd slipped so I got a string burn

Ouch. But the excitement when you get in the gold!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Thank you to everyone who helped distract me. My Dad had fallen and was having a CT scan. All has come back clear

Great news! I know exactly how you feel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rFoxAndXeno OP Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Hi folks! I was called back into work and now I'm absolutely shattered - will catch up with this thread asap

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you to everyone who helped distract me. My Dad had fallen and was having a CT scan. All has come back clear

Good news

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"Apparently it's the anniversary of the afternoon tea...so treat yourself to some scones."

•

Hint taken. Very subtle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Sending everyone above smiles and hugs on their crappy days. Happy to send shit dad jokes too. When I finally sit down from a manic day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"Sending everyone above smiles and hugs on their crappy days. Happy to send shit dad jokes too. When I finally sit down from a manic day

What's the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Lukewarm!

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Sending everyone above smiles and hugs on their crappy days. Happy to send shit dad jokes too. When I finally sit down from a manic day

What's the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Lukewarm!

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam!"

I’m adding these to my joke book. Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a little perv at the Mrs updated the wank bank then. Man shity scored

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread