FabSwingers.com forum: lovely people off the forum

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I need to know what the biggest parts of your identity are.

Obviously I care a great deal about my race and the significance of that on my experiences (much to the dismay of fabbers) but what are the parts of your identity that are so important to who you are?

Your gender? Where you’re from? (Regionally or nationally) what other things? I’m always keen to learn more about our little fab community.

Yours,

Sydney x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Off ??? Lmao what a start.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

My biggest part of my personality well that's a deep one, but I'll go with consistency what you see is what you get....I'm a consistent dickhead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My biggest part of my personality well that's a deep one, but I'll go with consistency what you see is what you get....I'm a consistent dickhead "

Seconded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a mum

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m a proud Welsh lass.

You could take me out of Wales but you’d never take Wales out of me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't always get it right, but i always try to be honourable. I couldn't look in the mirror if i didn't maintain my honour. Do that right thing on a difficult day, even when no one is watching... I'm my own worse critic!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"My biggest part of my personality well that's a deep one, but I'll go with consistency what you see is what you get....I'm a consistent dickhead

Seconded "

^she knows

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’m a proud Welsh lass.

You could take me out of Wales but you’d never take Wales out of me

Good always have some English in you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/06/23 11:02:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not really about race, gender or location for me, those things don't define me as I had no control of them in the first place.

For me its more about who I am as a person that shapes my identity. Growth in particular is important as I've had to adapt to challenges along the way. Otherwise as long as I am who I want to be and not what anyone tells me to be, that's my identity.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

That’s a good question. I would say for me my faith , my sense of adventure and curiosity about the world, and beyond that my sexuality and kink.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I don't associate my identity with my race or gender or where I came from.

But then I suppose I'm lucky to have come from widely accepted roots and never had to defend or protect where I came from.

White, cis, pan but vocal enough about enjoying cock that most people think I'm straight, generic northern with no real hometown to argue for or against. There's been nothing to really hold to as something that makes me me in those respects.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh mate, this'll take some thought! I guess I've always struggled with my identity and never know what makes me, me. I've always felt too English to be Indian and too Indian to be English but beyond that, I can be funny and light hearted and a joy to be around, but I can be a moody and impatient dickhead you'd hate to be around.

I suppose the one thing consistent with me is that I'm never satisfied with keeping still for a long period of time so I get in a rut. There's always new things I want to do that I am working towards and if I'm missing something from life, I can zero in on it until it improves which definitely helps with a good work ethic

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Treating others how I would like to be treated. And music, it's just a massive part of my life and has a physical impact on me.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"I need to know what the biggest parts of your identity are.

Your gender? Where you’re from? (Regionally or nationally) what other things? I’m always keen to learn more about our little fab community.

Yours,

Sydney x"

I used to tell people I was from the side of the road when they asked. We moved a lot when I younger. Born in the US, lived all over. I'm very Irish now, well I think so. As to identity, hmmm thats a tricky one. I'm still work in progress. The day I stop questioning and wanting to learn will be my time to get off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I like this question.

So without thinking too much I would say being a mum. Being a mum definitely defines who I am in a big way.

And then it gets a little bit tricky. I'd say my mental health, and being passionate about mental health and having no shame when it comes to talking about it. Most people who know me would say I'm an open book, too open for some. But I think it's important to talk about these things.

Other than that I don't know. I'm a woman who is proud of my roots and I'm one tough cookie who has been through hell and I'm proud of the fact I am alive. I'd do anything for the people I love and I make lots of people smile.

It's easy to see race is something that's tremendously important to you and that's nothing but admirable. I wouldn't say I know you super well, but it's simple to see you're a good egg PickleMcPickleface.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I suppose being a mum is the biggest part of my life. But my job and the knowledge I have is pretty major too. I've spent years learning my field and I am seen as somewhat of an expert by colleagues. And while I'm a very happy atheist, I'm also Jewish and do see that as important.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

But thing that defines me is being in recovery, and doing the things I need to do that fills my spirit and builds my self worth and self esteem so that I stay in recovery...and revert back to old dysfunctional coping strategies...

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By *issIrishCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I suppose where I’m from is the biggest part of my life.

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Working class, mancunian, woman of Irish heritage. I think all four of those define my personality in different ways.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Such a great question. I think about this when I meet people for the first time, it’s usually what they talk about most when a little nervous

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I guess for me it's mostly my sarcasm, although when I'm serious I really am serious.

Struggled mentally from a very young and never really felt like I fit in so that led to my passion for music and photography as it's a good way to escape.

I'm always caring and want the best for people.

I don't even know if I've answered the question

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’m going to focus on one aspect, there’s more to me but I was discussing this aspect last night so I’m thinking about it lots.

My bipolar and experience of that shapes me, not through choice but through necessity. I have chosen to embrace the fact I acutely experience life through extreme highs and lows. There are few people I really share my experience of the world with as I mask well in real life, not because I’m ashamed or embarrassed but just so many don’t get it, and I hate that feeling of disconnection when you realise that person doesn’t get it. Oh but I’ve some people who really see me, and they’re

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Born and bred londoner. Growing with the changes daily. Work in the city,trvel via tube drive etc

Have raved,partied loads.

"Trust/Loyal/integrity/stand for true justice and unfortunate's amongst us "

I am me and my profile reflects that,More so inperson where i let my aura come through.

Keep smiling and chin up all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not really about race, gender or location for me, those things don't define me as I had no control of them in the first place.

Well put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love being a butch dyke, boydyke and a lesbian more than anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure I even know how to answer that question. I don’t really have anything major that I can say defines me. Being a mum is probably about it.

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London

I had to do a thing recently where I had to think about my core values.

What came out for me were tolerance and compassion, and curiosity.

I would probably describe myself more based on them than on any thing else. I am a person, who just happens to be from where I was born and in this body. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm i think being female and my positive outlook on life that has gradually increased as I've become older

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I'm pretty horny. I'd say that defines me a lot.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I am a mother, I am a woman, I am white I am menopausal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m Tom, well shaun but my middle names Tom and everyone calls me Tom apart from my mum when I’m about to get told off.

I’m a father and hopefully a good one, I’m half Norwegian, my mums side shes from Lilihammer and met my dad a Welsh soldier out there skiing.

I’m hopefully a guy that loves adventure and exploring, looking after and protecting those I love. And I hope the good parts of me pass on to my daughter. Who already tells me she wants to a fire fighter and help people.

I’m not one but I was a soldier and a PMC for years.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Great question.

I’m not sure I have anything that truly defines me but being pushed for an answer is it is the way that I treat people.

I like to think and I am told that I am a good listener, advice giver, and actually care about people.

The other side of this is that most of my adult life I have been this way but that means that people can and have taken advantage in the past. If people cross me now then I either cut them off or the have one hell of an uphill battle to climb.

In short, I really care about the people that impact my life positively and the negative people get left behind

Marc

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Nothing physical for me.

My ability to listen and help people is what I identify with.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Nothing physical for me.

My ability to listen and help people is what I identify with.

And my inner strength.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a mum is a huge part of who I am. I'm incredibly proud of my boys and the fact I've parented alone for the last 16 years.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Some days I'm very proud to be Irish but I'm also proud to be Northern Irish.

Most days though where I'm from and the colour of my skin has zero impact on my life and as such has never been a part of my character. Being totally honest about it I avoid anyone who is defined by those things.

I've been through hell and back because of where I'm from and my religion but still managed to come through it all well rounded and don't need anyone constantly telling me my experiences are insignificant in comparison to theirs.

I've always been the one others know they can turn to in times of need so my character is based on my consistent ability to support and guide.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I guess my gender, that I'm a parent, my career and general personality.

Mrs

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

When you posed the question Mr Pickle I’m thinking you were talking more in terms of defining your roots and where you’ve come from (as in your life journey).

Rather than the attributes of your personality that make you the individual that you are.

In that context I will say the place I was born raised and have always lived and my vocation, both of which are interlinked, define who I am pretty much.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Up Your Frock!

"I’m a proud Welsh lass.

You could take me out of Wales but you’d never take Wales out of me

Id like to put a bit of scouse in you

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Interesting question, OP!

Cultural identity, a bit of a mixture, I don't strongly identify with any part of it except I am not Scottish.

I think it's fascinating how the majority of women with children have defined themselves as a mum first and foremost, not so many of the men with children have gone with being a dad as a defining quality.

I would say being a woman has defined who I am in many ways, also stepping up to the plate when the chips are down, being proactive. Going through tough times physically and mentally has also shaped my outlook on life.

Mrs TMN x

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I'm a mum, feeder, carer

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I’m just a little bird. Simples

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’m just a little bird. Simples "

Thats chirps if paddled

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Interesting question, OP!

Cultural identity, a bit of a mixture, I don't strongly identify with any part of it except I am not Scottish.

Mrs TMN x"

It is interesting how people interpret the question and what things define them. Being a parent, experiences, obstacles, being the child of immigrants....

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By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over

I think we are certainly shaped by our location and experiences, but I’m an English fella living in France and the English part isn’t that important or something I would say defines me - I probably spend maybe too much time trying to integrate and be less English. I’m an immigrant, a very thankful one that they’ll have me and welcome me here however, so maybe that’s something.

I’ve had a rough few years one way or another, and they define me certainly.

My work definitely defines me, so all of those things play a huge part in my identity. I’ve certainly changed since I was a young man for sure.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I’m just a little bird. Simples

Thats chirps if paddled "

Sometimes

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I take none of the bollocks on here seriously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Working class, mancunian, woman of Irish heritage. I think all four of those define my personality in different ways. "

and an ability to count?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Working class, mancunian, woman of Irish heritage. I think all four of those define my personality in different ways.

and an ability to count?

Count again, mister

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Working class, mancunian, woman of Irish heritage. I think all four of those define my personality in different ways.

and an ability to count?

Count again, mister

I took 'woman of Irish heritage' as one. Maybe the Oxford comma should have been used

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Working class, mancunian, woman of Irish heritage. I think all four of those define my personality in different ways.

and an ability to count?

Count again, mister

I took 'woman of Irish heritage' as one. Maybe the Oxford comma should have been used

Woman and Irish are two different characteristics, even without a comma

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Working class, mancunian, woman of Irish heritage. I think all four of those define my personality in different ways.

and an ability to count?

Count again, mister

I took 'woman of Irish heritage' as one. Maybe the Oxford comma should have been used

Sorry, wasn't aware the grammar police were on patrol. My sincerest apologies. Woman and Irish heritage are two different characterists, just clarifying for the pedants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As far as the Jennie side of me is concerned, my carefully constructed tart with a heart gobshite persona probably defines me.

As for the non Jennie side... Up to rececently my occupation defined me. Sadly the PTSD that resulted from 25 years in that occupation is now the major factor in my life. I guess it defines me rigbt now, but I am determined it wont forever.

So lets just stick with Jennie. She's great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As far as the Jennie side of me is concerned, my carefully constructed tart with a heart gobshite persona probably defines me.

So lets just stick with Jennie. She's great. "
Yes she is

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"As far as the Jennie side of me is concerned, my carefully constructed tart with a heart gobshite persona probably defines me.

So lets just stick with Jennie. She's great. Yes she is

Seconded

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't actually know, so you're getting a list.

Gender - no. I'm more "not male or non binary" than I am female

Race - hell no. Partly I suspect this is the false invisibility of whiteness/cultural majority, and I don't see it. But also I find a lot of the advocacy for my race repugnant.

Nationality - years ago I would have said no, but living overseas changes my perspective. Somewhat.

Religion - no. I'm an atheist, I don't define myself by what I'm not.

Sexuality - sort of. I find it's something that hurts me to suppress. But it's closer to "not breathing fucks me up" rather than "this is who I am"

My past - yes. Regrettably I have been moulded by my trauma.

Neurodiversity - yes and no. I don't feel like I'm on Team Autism, but being true to myself means knowing what my neurotype entails and how it makes me me.

Values - yes. The way I've cobbled together my sense of fairness, justice, and morality drives me.

Education and thinking style - yes. It's a prism through which I see everything, a springboard, a way I feel empowered.

Creativity - yes. Creative expression is hugely important to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So beautiful to read these. Especially interesting but not surprising that motherhood is so important to identity in women but fatherhood less so amongst men. I’d probably say fatherhood is a huge part of my identity these days but not the biggest at all.

you guys, man.

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