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Double Entendres

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

I love a roast

Your turn

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London


"I love a roast "

Make sure it’s well basted.

You have to keep it moist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to blow you away;)

Tones

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"I love a roast

Make sure it’s well basted.

You have to keep it moist."

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Fuck me!

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

close

Was asked by a young lady this week if I could sort her front door bush out.

Was cutting next doors hedge at the time.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Do me in the bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got rear ended this morning. I’m still sore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need to clean my back passage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love a roast

Your turn"
with a good stuffing?

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton


"I love a roast

Your turn"

You want me to give you one?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

That teabag was better the second time around

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By *t0600Man
over a year ago

elvedon

Want a bone ?

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By *9problemsMan
over a year ago

Winchester

Not mine, quite a famous one from Morty Storm:

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex."

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, "Every room in the place is for sex." I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too." Yummy

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on T.V." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline

I had a date this afternoon

But she blew me off

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I had a lovely facial last night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely the weather for some watersports today

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

I do believe you should lay some new tarmac down

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Lovely, I’ve just pulled out a chocolate finger

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Do me in the bum "

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"I love a roast

Your turn with a good stuffing? "

Definitely

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"I love a roast

Your turn

You want me to give you one?"

I can never say no to a roast

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Not mine, quite a famous one from Morty Storm:

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex."

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, "Every room in the place is for sex." I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too." Yummy

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on T.V." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday. "

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

It's such a drag having nosey neighbours.

Last time I had a gentleman over,I had to let him in the back way.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I met another guy while out walking my pooch the other day. He commented on how affectionate she was and I had to tell him how much I loved my doggy.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

You know, there's nothing like a well-hung bit of beef on a Sunday afternoon. I just can't wait to stuff that meat into my mouth. I'm quite the greedy pig, with all those nice warm juices running down my chin.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Do you come here often.....they replied all the time....

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

What, innuendo? No, in your endoes

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area


"I love a roast

Your turn with a good stuffing?

Definitely "

Hi OP, I don't think I've come across you before

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

After lunch I usually take my car to get washed. The local supermarket has a car wash employing local students. Obviously it's sweaty work, and I'm always amazed at how fit they are. They're always very polite though. The car wash offers an deal where if you pay a bit extra, they'll pull you around the back and do a good hand job for you.

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Oxondavina, brilliant

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Do you prefer 2 fingers or 4?

I can’t quite make my mind up when buying KitKats

Marc

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Oxondavina, brilliant "

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

I groomed my pussy

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By *ildmanYorksMan
over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

Woman walks into a bar and asks the barman "Do you serve double entendres?" He replied "Yes" so he gave her one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The burglar smashed in the back doors last night

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By *innocentMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

As a computer repair man I often love the thought of giving someone a good RAM or Hard Driving right into a rear Port with my 3.5 inch floppy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d hoped this would be song lyrics because I’ve a ton of grime ones but next time maybe.

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

I tried to give up sexual innuendos but it’s soooo hard.

Ed

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By *ilva69Man
over a year ago

stockport

I’ve included for stripping and filling ( decorator)

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby

I’m trying to give them up but still occasionally slip one in

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Great, keep at it

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

On occasions I write Erotica. I just love my creative juices.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I just love a pearl necklace

Mrs

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

The Irish singer Brendan Shine wrote his classic song, "Do you want your old Lobby washed down" and there was embarrassment all round when The Pope was leaving leaving Ireland. The silver band played him out across the tarmac to the tune, "Do you want your old Lobby washed down."

Brendan's answer was, "Well The Pope doesn't speak that much English so he probably didn't know what we meant."

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Fuck me!"

With that smile I wouldn't say no

I'll add

would you like cream with that

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"The Irish singer Brendan Shine wrote his classic song, "Do you want your old Lobby washed down" and there was embarrassment all round when The Pope was leaving leaving Ireland. The silver band played him out across the tarmac to the tune, "Do you want your old Lobby washed down."

Brendan's answer was, "Well The Pope doesn't speak that much English so he probably didn't know what we meant."

"

Nor do I.

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Fuck me!

With that smile I wouldn't say no

I'll add

would you like cream with that "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t forget to cream yourself when you get out the shower!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want a Double Entendre then I'll give you one

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Sunbathing naked! Need some cream!

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

close

To the bar made at last orders.

OK, I'll slip the last 2 in

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By *melie LAL OP   Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Fish fingers

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

If anyone wants a double entendre, put your hand up and I’ll give you one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was trying to think of a double entendre, but it got really hard.

I wrote down so many double entendres . . . I had to rub one out.

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By *oddamnCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

I don't make double entendres often, but when I do it's a big one

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By *uckMan
over a year ago

Scunthorpe DN15

[Removed by poster at 10/06/23 23:35:43]

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