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How to avoid getting sucked into the maneuvered?

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield

Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?"

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A"

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That stuff is easy to ignore.

You don’t click it.

Boom, problem solved.

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield

And it autocorrected the post title. Should read Manosvere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it"

You can change your algorithms based on what you search for. Look for videos of fainting goats or something, do it a few times and you’ll start seeing less of the bullshit.

Also, kudos for being aware enough to spot that shite for what it is!

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it"

As far as youtube is concerned, you can choose to stop showing this content. Utoob doesn't know if you're ugly or not.

Anyway what you're talking about is a symptom not the problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem isn’t looks, genetics, finances or muscle mass. The problem is low self esteem. As a general rule nobody will love you if you don’t love yourself.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it"

U not at all ugly! In fact no one is ugly! X

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

You can change your algorithms based on what you search for. Look for videos of fainting goats or something, do it a few times and you’ll start seeing less of the bullshit.

Also, kudos for being aware enough to spot that shite for what it is!"

Like I say the logical part of me knows it's bullshit and that women aren't one dimensional characters. I also see guys who are as ugly as me in happy relationships or able to get good looking women. Its more I'll go on YouTube to look for advice on how to improve your dating profile if you're below average looking than the algorithm goes boom this guy is ugly and lonely, let's suggest this red/black pill video to him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want change, you have to be willing to make a change.

Start with the videos you watch and the likes.

Look for positive type videos.

Step away from the dating apps, get yourself into a hobby of your interest and start mixing with people.

Be you, be the best version of you, take care of yourself, get out there and show the world what you have to offer.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I saw suck and expected a different topic not gonna lie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yt has no idea what you look like.

It know you keep looking at this stuff. So will echo chamber you to death.

There are versions of red pill that won't encourage self improvement. Be careful which flavour you look at (don't look at any).

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

U not at all ugly! In fact no one is ugly! X"

Thanks but I'd have to politely disagree. Some people, myself included, are just not attractive to the opposite sex. I know that I'm a 3/4 out of 10, maybe a 5 at very best

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Love, you need to get off Youtube and find something else to do. It doesn't matter what it is, but it should involve other, ordinary people. People with opinions and jokes and conversation and ordinary lives. Have you ever looked at people? Most of them aren't perfect in looks. Lots of them are single - men and women. You aren't any uglier than most people! Focus your energies outwards and in finding fulfilling things to do, you'll be a more interesting, and attractive person. It's not all about looks.

And good for you for recognising the bullshit for what it is. Too many people don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You can change your algorithms based on what you search for. Look for videos of fainting goats or something, do it a few times and you’ll start seeing less of the bullshit.

"

Love videos of fainting goats, plus goats up trees.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

U not at all ugly! In fact no one is ugly! X

Thanks but I'd have to politely disagree. Some people, myself included, are just not attractive to the opposite sex. I know that I'm a 3/4 out of 10, maybe a 5 at very best"
isn't red.pill based on women going after men who can provide and offer shit. Eg looks are largely meaningless. So who gives a fuck ?

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"Love, you need to get off Youtube and find something else to do. It doesn't matter what it is, but it should involve other, ordinary people. People with opinions and jokes and conversation and ordinary lives. Have you ever looked at people? Most of them aren't perfect in looks. Lots of them are single - men and women. You aren't any uglier than most people! Focus your energies outwards and in finding fulfilling things to do, you'll be a more interesting, and attractive person. It's not all about looks.

And good for you for recognising the bullshit for what it is. Too many people don't.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're aware enough to realise that what you're reading isn't wise to consume.

It's awful,really,that this stuff is targeted at certain demographics...

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London


"If you want change, you have to be willing to make a change.

Start with the videos you watch and the likes.

Look for positive type videos.

Step away from the dating apps, get yourself into a hobby of your interest and start mixing with people.

Be you, be the best version of you, take care of yourself, get out there and show the world what you have to offer.

"

Yes, absolutely this. If you are not feeling good about yourself then how can you show anyone else the real you? Sounds like it might be better for you to take a break from looking for someone else and just look after yourself for a bit. We all need to at times x

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Ignore that shit, don't think your less than average either.

From what I can see you look great, everyone has areas of self improvement but only you can do that.

There will be plenty of women who like you and plenty who don't, try not to focus on the latter.

I know you said you struggle mentally have you considered getting some help, talking it through with anyone, loving/liking yourself first would help anyone else to love/like you too.

Don't give up.

Mrs

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"You're aware enough to realise that what you're reading isn't wise to consume.

It's awful,really,that this stuff is targeted at certain demographics...

"

I know its a dramatic comparison but it's a bit like how drug dealers know who to target and who will get addicted. Like I say I try to avoid it as I know its a dangerous ideology and I've deleted all the dating apps on my phone but it's difficult to not be drawn back to those videos when every guy you work with is bragging about how much they get laid off tinder and other apps and you think to yourself how come I don't?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Connect to women as people. You are also making value judgements about women's looks. Go for things in common and you may find your luck changing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're aware enough to realise that what you're reading isn't wise to consume.

It's awful,really,that this stuff is targeted at certain demographics...

I know its a dramatic comparison but it's a bit like how drug dealers know who to target and who will get addicted. Like I say I try to avoid it as I know its a dangerous ideology and I've deleted all the dating apps on my phone but it's difficult to not be drawn back to those videos when every guy you work with is bragging about how much they get laid off tinder and other apps and you think to yourself how come I don't?"
pro tip.

Brag about about how much you get laid. Regardless of reality.

Coz you're mates at work probably aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're aware enough to realise that what you're reading isn't wise to consume.

It's awful,really,that this stuff is targeted at certain demographics...

"

To stop yourself becoming a bitter incel weirdo..stop reading or listening to that crap.

You have the insight and self belief to know its crap, take that as a positive.

Another way to meet people, make new friends (potentially a girlfriend) is to join social clubs an groups and get off the Internet!

Best of luck

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"You're aware enough to realise that what you're reading isn't wise to consume.

It's awful,really,that this stuff is targeted at certain demographics...

I know its a dramatic comparison but it's a bit like how drug dealers know who to target and who will get addicted. Like I say I try to avoid it as I know its a dangerous ideology and I've deleted all the dating apps on my phone but it's difficult to not be drawn back to those videos when every guy you work with is bragging about how much they get laid off tinder and other apps and you think to yourself how come I don't?"

Because it's not reality. But it is a slippery slope. All that content will do is leave you more isolated bitter, confused and increasingly angry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read the start "how to avoid getting sucked" and I thought fuck me I must have been doing that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're aware enough to realise that what you're reading isn't wise to consume.

It's awful,really,that this stuff is targeted at certain demographics...

I know its a dramatic comparison but it's a bit like how drug dealers know who to target and who will get addicted. Like I say I try to avoid it as I know its a dangerous ideology and I've deleted all the dating apps on my phone but it's difficult to not be drawn back to those videos when every guy you work with is bragging about how much they get laid off tinder and other apps and you think to yourself how come I don't?"

Those who brag……..

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

Honestly the biggest thing to remember with dating apps are they are there to make money not help you find relationships. The algorithm is designed to make you pay for the subscription service at normally high prices and then after a while upsell you again. Its awful practice on there part but having that in the back of my head really helped.

The biggest thing is to find a hobby whether its going to the gym, sports, fashion what ever it possibly can be even a swinging club what ever it is that you enjoy. Over time you will meet people and then confidence will develop.

Take the plunge, i know its scary ive been there not so long ago but once you do it will definitely be worth it. It takes hard work but it will pay off

Also, manipulate the YouTube Algorithm too by watching totally different things like those try not to laugh, DIY anything unrelated that will eventually solve that too. Having a positive mindset will help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're aware enough to realise that what you're reading isn't wise to consume.

It's awful,really,that this stuff is targeted at certain demographics...

I know its a dramatic comparison but it's a bit like how drug dealers know who to target and who will get addicted. Like I say I try to avoid it as I know its a dangerous ideology and I've deleted all the dating apps on my phone but it's difficult to not be drawn back to those videos when every guy you work with is bragging about how much they get laid off tinder and other apps and you think to yourself how come I don't?"

Those guys bragging are probably full of bs...

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

I applaud you for looking for help with the way you feel about yourself. Admitting to a problem and then looking for ways to solve it is difficult and the 1st step on the way to bettering yourself.

I would suggest you talk this through with your doctor, if you can do it here, you can do it with a Dr. Ask for some counselling or cbt to help you adjust your way of thinking. They will be able to help you much better than YouTube or random people on websites like this.

Dont be embarrassed to ask professionals for help, they've seen it all many times before and are there specifically to help in situations like yours.

Good luck op, I hope you complete you journey to see your selfworth in full.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I havent read the replies but just sit anywhere there are lots of people and look at the couples, its not only the 'beautiful people' who have managed to get together but all us normal buggers too. Dating apps are a warped view of the world really and only a teeny tiny proportion of the people out there in the world.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

You can change your algorithms based on what you search for. Look for videos of fainting goats or something, do it a few times and you’ll start seeing less of the bullshit.

Love videos of fainting goats, plus goats up trees."

Don't forget baby goats in pyjamas.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know nothing of these coloured pills you speak of.

You know why?

Because I've never given it any of my time.

Attractiveness comes in many forms, many physical forms, plus in the way of attitude and more.

I mean, have you seen Ivana Trump?

Allowing a social media algorithm to tell you you're worth is foolish.

Change, it'll be difficult but worth it.

Recognise the self pity (now that's your most unattractive trait), face it, fight it and change about you what you feel will lift you.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?"

OP. First of all stop believing you’re ugly.

Second of all anything relating to that load of old bollocks spread by oxygen-thieves like Tate is ass gravy of the highest order. Start treating as such. Laugh. You’ll feel a lot better.

Wish you luck. Just start by loving yourself first

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

I think you need to do self care/self love.relationships are not all about sex & looks.You need to have more confidence prehaps do social meet up on here and trying not to have any expectations other then your going hopefully to make new friends.Be positive attraction is in the eyes of the beholder

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd suggest leaving the dating apps, stop searching YouTube for advice and give yourself a rest from it all. It's a cliche but join in with things in the real rather than virtual world, maybe hobby clubs, volunteering, things like that. See yourself and other people for their actual worth rather than the false world of YouTube and dating apps.

You're not ugly but I think you know that, stop searching YouTube and adding 'when you're ugly ' at the end... it's you who's telling the algorithm not the algorithm telling you...take back control.

Best wishes to you

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

OP you've a definite Jamie Dornan look about you. And he's considered good looking.

Aside from stopping watching that shit as I initially said, stop thinking of yourself as ugly. You're not.

A

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Get a bike, get weights, get volunteering, get walking, get a dog, get outside your comfort zone, get learning.

Probably give fab a break as well, there's some lovely funny kind people here but if you're feeling anyway low or vulnerable, it's not where you want to be. Fab isn't easy, its playing on very hard mode

Somethings in life are counter intuitive, the more you want or try, the harder it can become.

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By *hocolate37Man
over a year ago

Heathrow

...what everyone else has said, plus, I wonder if the women who've added you as friends would have done so if they thought you were ugly?

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

You can change your algorithms based on what you search for. Look for videos of fainting goats or something, do it a few times and you’ll start seeing less of the bullshit.

Also, kudos for being aware enough to spot that shite for what it is!

Like I say the logical part of me knows it's bullshit and that women aren't one dimensional characters. I also see guys who are as ugly as me in happy relationships or able to get good looking women. Its more I'll go on YouTube to look for advice on how to improve your dating profile if you're below average looking than the algorithm goes boom this guy is ugly and lonely, let's suggest this red/black pill video to him"

Change your searches! YouTube has no idea if you think you're good looking or not unless you tell it.

Search 'how to improve my dating profile' but not 'how to improve a dating profile if you're unattractive' - but frankly ignore any advice and just write a profile that reflects you and your interests. Noone online knows that better than you.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?"

First thing is that you are not ugly regarding your looks. You may feel ugly but that is simply not true.

YouTube’s algorithm certainly does promote videos based on previous videos that you have watched and tends to drag people further down the rabbit hole. It is designed to keep you watching for as long as possible to shove as many adverts at you as possible.

My advice would be either take a break from YouTube or at least reset all your browser history and start again.

Dating sites aren’t great for anyones self esteem.

It’s been a long time since I dated, but back then you had to interact in person. Maybe try giving the old fashioned method a try and go out and try to meet people that way?

Whatever you choose, just remember to be the best version of you that you can.

Good luck.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I understand what you are saying OP and there is a reason that someone like Tate because so successful and popular so quickly.

He identified an issue that so many fell and at times I feel the same way too.

What you need to remember is that these people exaggerate the issue because they want to sell whatever they are selling. That doesn’t mean that the issue isn’t there but they sell though emotional manipulation which to be honest is the basis of all selling.

People that we are exposed either have money, fame, success etc and when we are being told that someone being around the average mark isn’t good enough but they have the solution.

The only answer is to understand what is making you unhappy and make a plan to a what you can.

If you think you aren’t buff enough get yourself training. If it’s social skills, plan to talk to at least one person you don’t know each day.

There is very little we can’t change about ourselves but it takes hard work. The key to this success is to remind yourself why you have started

Marc

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'd suggest leaving the dating apps, stop searching YouTube for advice and give yourself a rest from it all. It's a cliche but join in with things in the real rather than virtual world, maybe hobby clubs, volunteering, things like that. See yourself and other people for their actual worth rather than the false world of YouTube and dating apps.

You're not ugly but I think you know that, stop searching YouTube and adding 'when you're ugly ' at the end... it's you who's telling the algorithm not the algorithm telling you...take back control.

Best wishes to you"

Yes. Change the algorithm and get away from it - work on loving yourself

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield

Thanks for all the advice everyone. Like I say I've already deleted all my dating apps and as for YouTube just going to avoid anything even remotely related to that world like the plague. And think being someone who has aspergers I'm not very good at telling when people are lying about their sexual achievements ever so I probably take things too much at face value and compare myself to other people rather than focusing on my own life. Also as other people have said, even though this is a swingers website, there's more to life than sex but when I get dragged down that rabbit hole I start to forget that and let external factors get me down. Also think its probably good if I stop focusing on stuff like that and getting some perspective. Yeah I might not get laid or be good looking but there's literally people starving not just in 3rd world countries but here too and people with incurable severe disabilities who would love it if their only problem was being a bit unattractive

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm autistic and I sympathise

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"I'm autistic and I sympathise "

You too? There's dozens of us.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'm autistic and I sympathise

You too? There's dozens of us.

"

We're inescapable

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A"

Second and last thing. Stop reading that shit. You're worth more than that fella

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


" You're worth more than that fella "

If I could frame this and gold plate it, I would.

You're worth more than that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" You're worth more than that fella

If I could frame this and gold plate it, I would.

You're worth more than that "

Seconded

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"You're aware enough to realise that what you're reading isn't wise to consume.

It's awful,really,that this stuff is targeted at certain demographics...

I know its a dramatic comparison but it's a bit like how drug dealers know who to target and who will get addicted. Like I say I try to avoid it as I know its a dangerous ideology and I've deleted all the dating apps on my phone but it's difficult to not be drawn back to those videos when every guy you work with is bragging about how much they get laid off tinder and other apps and you think to yourself how come I don't?"

In my experience men brag, they're probably nowhere near as successful as they say they are.

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By *lipzer KnicksaffWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently

The world is full of "average" people and the vast majority of them manage to find a partner and/or have sex.

Step away from the online world and actively try to engage with real people (men & women) in all social situations, not just those with dating opportunities. It's only when you meet someone in a real life, face to face situation that you can tell if there's chemistry. How many times have folk posted on here about meeting someone and being sorely disappointed. The camera most definitely does lie.

And smile more. You may not be Ryan Reynolds but you're not a completely ugly bastard either. But your profile pic looks like a Crimewatch photie.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

As an autistic person I find it nearly impossible to smile at my phone.

Try videoing yourself talking to someone who makes you laugh, and take screenshots

(Yeah, you'll need a willing vic... participant to help you, unfortunately)

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"As an autistic person I find it nearly impossible to smile at my phone.

Try videoing yourself talking to someone who makes you laugh, and take screenshots

(Yeah, you'll need a willing vic... participant to help you, unfortunately)"

The pressure from videos and influencers must be difficult for those with a disability. Personally, I'd ban all those 'lifestyle gurus'. They know Jack shit, and have normally hurt someone along the way.

You'll be fine.

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By *iercedItMan
over a year ago

North West

Dating Apps are kinda meh, and reduce everyone to a single dimension self projection. The key element here is that the dating apps are targeting ALL men, Tom Hardy and Oliver Hardy (Laurel and Hardy) alike into paying to see the matches or being seen by more potential matches (so they limit who sees you), so as a metric you may as use the fact you don't win the lottery when not buying a ticket as the reason your unlucky.

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"As an autistic person I find it nearly impossible to smile at my phone.

Try videoing yourself talking to someone who makes you laugh, and take screenshots

(Yeah, you'll need a willing vic... participant to help you, unfortunately)"

Was gonna say. Find it pretty hard to smile full stop. Got resting serial killer face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dating apps are terrible even for lesbians lol don’t worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?"

In this thing called life the main thing ..the main thing is to be happy in your own skin , personally l don't give a fuck what others think of me , l try to find things that l enjoy doing wether it's pub gigs ,concerts , movies , going to the cinema, going hiking or walking , playing or listening to music .. whatever , and fuck everyone else that think l should do this or that ..be like this or be like that..find whatever make YOU happy and fuck all those that can easily.. easily put you down...fuck that..be yourself..be happy in your own skin

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"As an autistic person I find it nearly impossible to smile at my phone.

Try videoing yourself talking to someone who makes you laugh, and take screenshots

(Yeah, you'll need a willing vic... participant to help you, unfortunately)

Was gonna say. Find it pretty hard to smile full stop. Got resting serial killer face"

Try mood lighting on your photos. Black and white, moody shit might work. Also, hold your phone above your head when taking shots.

No dick pics, and just be as natural as you can

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As an autistic person I find it nearly impossible to smile at my phone.

Try videoing yourself talking to someone who makes you laugh, and take screenshots

(Yeah, you'll need a willing vic... participant to help you, unfortunately)

Was gonna say. Find it pretty hard to smile full stop. Got resting serial killer face"

Same. Men scream at me in the street because I'm insufficiently happy while being a stranger minding my own fucking business.

... Tbh I take great pleasure in looking even more unpleasant in return

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By *lipzer KnicksaffWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently


"As an autistic person I find it nearly impossible to smile at my phone.

Try videoing yourself talking to someone who makes you laugh, and take screenshots

(Yeah, you'll need a willing vic... participant to help you, unfortunately)

Was gonna say. Find it pretty hard to smile full stop. Got resting serial killer face"

Well there's one positive already. Ted Bundy was a hit with the ladies apparently...right up until he done them in. Every cloud my friend.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

So, are you saying that ugly, poor men don't get girlfriends, or get married?

Never?

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"As an autistic person I find it nearly impossible to smile at my phone.

Try videoing yourself talking to someone who makes you laugh, and take screenshots

(Yeah, you'll need a willing vic... participant to help you, unfortunately)

Was gonna say. Find it pretty hard to smile full stop. Got resting serial killer face"

Somethings you practice, like small talk. Somethings you can learn. Reading books can be a great way of learning about people. That might be a book club, on your own or as an academic qualification.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As an autistic person I find it nearly impossible to smile at my phone.

Try videoing yourself talking to someone who makes you laugh, and take screenshots

(Yeah, you'll need a willing vic... participant to help you, unfortunately)

Was gonna say. Find it pretty hard to smile full stop. Got resting serial killer face

Somethings you practice, like small talk. Somethings you can learn. Reading books can be a great way of learning about people. That might be a book club, on your own or as an academic qualification. "

Yeah. It's bullshit, but some shit is "that's what those other people do" and you gotta play the game. Even if it bores you witless or is clearly insincere or flat out dishonest. The rules are the rules, alas.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

You’re not ugly. And putting yourself out there is hard work.

Stop reading stuff online that’s determined to wreck your self esteem and sense of reality.

The best advice I can give is to just relax, do things YOU enjoy doing that brings you joy, takes you outdoors and meet others who enjoy what you enjoy. Stop putting pressure on yourself to meet someone. It will happen when it happens. In the meantime enjoy yourself, life is for living, with or without a life partner.

And rest assured there are plenty of men AND women who are in the same position as you. And they’re not ugly either - some of the most beautiful, (and often most famous) people in the world can be single too.

But you won’t find someone when you’re staring at your feet.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Delete You Tube for a start, and get out in the real world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way you describe yourself, it's like talking to my teenage son. He has the same negative self-image and it's heart-breaking. He's also autistic, as am I.

First off, stop rating your physical appearance, and that of others, with that awful 1-10 scale. I mean this gently, but it's such an incel thing to do! A person is far more than their looks, and by reducing us all to a mere number you're dismissing the truly valuable stuff, that which makes us 3-dimensional and human.

Secondly, I know how difficult it is for people like us to make connections. Navigating social norms, feeling like an outsider in most spheres....well, frankly it's shit. Find hobbies and interests that ignites your passion, which also include some form of in-person social contact. You may even encounter other ND people, who will understand you far more than NT folks.

Thirdly, look up stoicism. Learning to accept the world, people, events etc just as they are and without judgement has been hugely beneficial to both myself and my son.

All the best

Nell

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Right.

Stop watching utube nonsense.

Get out in the fresh air, sunshine.

Smile.

Breathe. Borrow a dog and go for a walk.

Do something you enjoy. One thing a day, then 2.

Stay away from online bullshit.

Plus.. you are not ugly. But the way you are putting yourself down is.

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"The way you describe yourself, it's like talking to my teenage son. He has the same negative self-image and it's heart-breaking. He's also autistic, as am I.

First off, stop rating your physical appearance, and that of others, with that awful 1-10 scale. I mean this gently, but it's such an incel thing to do! A person is far more than their looks, and by reducing us all to a mere number you're dismissing the truly valuable stuff, that which makes us 3-dimensional and human.

Secondly, I know how difficult it is for people like us to make connections. Navigating social norms, feeling like an outsider in most spheres....well, frankly it's shit. Find hobbies and interests that ignites your passion, which also include some form of in-person social contact. You may even encounter other ND people, who will understand you far more than NT folks.

Thirdly, look up stoicism. Learning to accept the world, people, events etc just as they are and without judgement has been hugely beneficial to both myself and my son.

All the best

Nell"

Thanks, gonna look into stoicism. And think I probably try to act like I don't have autism sometimes and then judge myself by NT standards for social things, forgetting I have something that impairs my ability.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The way you describe yourself, it's like talking to my teenage son. He has the same negative self-image and it's heart-breaking. He's also autistic, as am I.

First off, stop rating your physical appearance, and that of others, with that awful 1-10 scale. I mean this gently, but it's such an incel thing to do! A person is far more than their looks, and by reducing us all to a mere number you're dismissing the truly valuable stuff, that which makes us 3-dimensional and human.

Secondly, I know how difficult it is for people like us to make connections. Navigating social norms, feeling like an outsider in most spheres....well, frankly it's shit. Find hobbies and interests that ignites your passion, which also include some form of in-person social contact. You may even encounter other ND people, who will understand you far more than NT folks.

Thirdly, look up stoicism. Learning to accept the world, people, events etc just as they are and without judgement has been hugely beneficial to both myself and my son.

All the best

Nell

Thanks, gonna look into stoicism. And think I probably try to act like I don't have autism sometimes and then judge myself by NT standards for social things, forgetting I have something that impairs my ability."

I've been there. I don't think it's healthy or attainable, although of course it's up to you

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You can continue to cultivate victimhood or choose a different path for your life.

Take your focus away from sources you're quoting here, to instead have materials that are healthy and balanced.

But remember, it's your choice. You can pick any path.

And perhaps try making friends with healthy people of all genders and maybe dating, when have confidence and self-esteem at a good level

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By *erence IIMan
over a year ago

Irrelevant

First off, don't search YouTube for advice on dating, there is almost certainly little to no useful advice and a tonne of crap. You're clearly intelligent enough to recognise the issues with the stuff that you're being targeted at - intelligence is attractive.

As others have said, confidence is almost certainly a major factor. You've had several people on here tell you that you're not ugly and you've closed them down. If you believe you're too ugly/below average/sub par to date you can be sure that belief comes across in your profile/your messages/ your chats and that is going to put anybody off.

Easier said than done but you need to work on you. Until you believe you're a worthwhile catch, you'll not convince anyone else - with the possible exception of someone who believes they can "fix" you and that is garunteed to be an unhealthy relationship. Sack the datting apps off and youtube. Do stuff that makes you feel good about you, makes you feel proud of yourself.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

U not at all ugly! In fact no one is ugly! X

Thanks but I'd have to politely disagree. Some people, myself included, are just not attractive to the opposite sex. I know that I'm a 3/4 out of 10, maybe a 5 at very bestisn't red.pill based on women going after men who can provide and offer shit. Eg looks are largely meaningless. So who gives a fuck ?"

This!

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Dating apps are soul destroying for women too, but it's okay cos we're one dimensional I guess hope you can feel able to step away from this stuff for good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem isn’t looks, genetics, finances or muscle mass. The problem is low self esteem. As a general rule nobody will love you if you don’t love yourself."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

U not at all ugly! In fact no one is ugly! X"

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By *orthernJayMan
over a year ago

Lancaster


"The problem isn’t looks, genetics, finances or muscle mass. The problem is low self esteem. As a general rule nobody will love you if you don’t love yourself."

^^^^^ This ^^^^^

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?"

First up chap, you are not ugly at all. Not in the slightest.

I know some ugly guys and for some reason they seem to have succeeded with the ladies!

As that red pill black pill horseshit, someone watched the matrix too much and thought it was a documentary.

To bin your algorithm. Clear all your cookies, delete your YouTube account and start a new one!

Then get yourself a good beard trimmer and trim your beard a bit. Honestly, it’s the best piece of equipment I’ve bought!

Andrew Tate is a very calculating man who prays on insecurities and uses the residual powers of the patriarchal society to exploit men. He’s a danger to women and girls but he’s also a huge danger to men and boys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The way you describe yourself, it's like talking to my teenage son. He has the same negative self-image and it's heart-breaking. He's also autistic, as am I.

First off, stop rating your physical appearance, and that of others, with that awful 1-10 scale. I mean this gently, but it's such an incel thing to do! A person is far more than their looks, and by reducing us all to a mere number you're dismissing the truly valuable stuff, that which makes us 3-dimensional and human.

Secondly, I know how difficult it is for people like us to make connections. Navigating social norms, feeling like an outsider in most spheres....well, frankly it's shit. Find hobbies and interests that ignites your passion, which also include some form of in-person social contact. You may even encounter other ND people, who will understand you far more than NT folks.

Thirdly, look up stoicism. Learning to accept the world, people, events etc just as they are and without judgement has been hugely beneficial to both myself and my son.

All the best

Nell

Thanks, gonna look into stoicism. And think I probably try to act like I don't have autism sometimes and then judge myself by NT standards for social things, forgetting I have something that impairs my ability.

I've been there. I don't think it's healthy or attainable, although of course it's up to you "

I agree with Swing. Masking and judging myself by NT standards has previously lead to burnout and MH crisis. Please be cautious about doing this.

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By *atfuckerbristolMan
over a year ago

Wells

Log out of youtube and start a new account. If you avoid these posts, the algorithm won’t have any inkling of your prior reading.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Sorry you feel this way op. Maybe join in with forum/cam room chat. Plenty of topics up for discussion. Get noticed and make friends. Attend a few hobby clubs locally, singles clubs, gigs. Good luck!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?"

Stop basing your self esteem on dating apps. Would be a good place to start, you won't fix an internal problem with an external solution. Go within or go without

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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

You’re not ugly at all. Maybe find activities and new social circles which build you up. If you can access some form of therapy that might be really helpful for you to explore what’s underneath your low self-esteem.

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By *adyHWoman
over a year ago

South Glos


"…… I've deleted all the dating apps on my phone but it's difficult to not be drawn back to those videos when every guy you work with is bragging about how much they get laid off tinder and other apps and you think to yourself how come I don't?"

They could be lying about getting laid, alot of people do.

I don’t have much luck at all with the dating apps, but don’t do bad here; clearly not date worthy lol but I don’t let it bother me. I’m happy

You’re not ugly, but you won’t be everyone’s cuppa tea- like I’m not. It happens, it’s ok.

Be kinder to yourself and learn to love yourself - even if it’s not all of it - I’ve got bits/traits I don’t like but I focus on the good.

And as everyone else said don’t read/listen to those posts/vids.

Fainting goats all the way (and the screaming ones haha)

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"…… I've deleted all the dating apps on my phone but it's difficult to not be drawn back to those videos when every guy you work with is bragging about how much they get laid off tinder and other apps and you think to yourself how come I don't?

They could be lying about getting laid, alot of people do.

I don’t have much luck at all with the dating apps, but don’t do bad here; clearly not date worthy lol but I don’t let it bother me. I’m happy

You’re not ugly, but you won’t be everyone’s cuppa tea- like I’m not. It happens, it’s ok.

Be kinder to yourself and learn to love yourself - even if it’s not all of it - I’ve got bits/traits I don’t like but I focus on the good.

And as everyone else said don’t read/listen to those posts/vids.

Fainting goats all the way (and the screaming ones haha) "

WUU2 FAF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it"

You look like Jamie Dornan!! You are well fit mate!!

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

You look like Jamie Dornan!! You are well fit mate!!"

Thanks. I've heard the Jamie Dornan thing a few times but definitely don't see it myself

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

You look like Jamie Dornan!! You are well fit mate!!

Thanks. I've heard the Jamie Dornan thing a few times but definitely don't see it myself"

So you only believe the bad stuff?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it

You look like Jamie Dornan!! You are well fit mate!!

Thanks. I've heard the Jamie Dornan thing a few times but definitely don't see it myself"

What would it feel like to face the compliment head on, rather than dismiss it?

(I speak of my own experience too - I find it uncomfortable, but it's lovely if I can face it)

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?"

Stop reading and watching that kind of shit.

No offence but they prey on vulnerable people looking for answers outside of themselves, same as the while self help, pop psychology and diet / wellbeing industry. It’s all a scam to exploit vulnerable people and make money.

Figure out what kind of person you really want to be and do small things regularly to align to that. Your confidence will increase when your actions align to your values

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?"

Only you can stop yourself believing that,no one else can.If you want to believe in misogynistic crap that makes all women out to be so flaky, than I really don't believe that anyone will or can change your mind. You have made excuses as to why you believe what you see oh YouTube to be true. When in my own experience it's so far away from fact that it's in a completely different realm of reality and for the majority of people I know as well.

You refuse to take a compliment which I do understand as I find it hard to as well quite often, especially from strangers.But you should try to take on board that no one on this thread would have felt obliged to compliment you and when they do try as take at least some of it as genuine and try and stop seeing yourself in a negative light only.

Only you can change your mindset but if you keep going down that road where you follow the thinking that women are completely superficial than you will most likely continue on a lonely bitter path. Maybe see them as a person just the same as how you want to be seen.

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By *ed MartinMan
over a year ago

Shefford


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

First thing?

Stop reading that shit. It's not healthy.

A

I try to but like I say the algorithm on YouTube basically targets ugly guys like me into seeing it"

The algorithm uses your previous viewing to suggest similar content, it doesn’t know (or care) what you look like. In addition to not watching it, you can actively turn off suggestions from those channels by tapping the 3 dots to the right of the video titles. Search for and view other, more positive topics- over time this will “train” your algorithm to be less unhealthy.

The best thing you can do to be more attractive to women, is to stop focussing on “being attractive” as the goal and just be you instead. Get a hobby or an interest or two (maybe avoid ones commonly associated with misogeny like MMA, etc)- it will make you more interesting and well-rounded as well as give you a creative outlet, and- if you join a club or group to do it, you might find that it gives you the opportunity to meet people with a common interest in a more organic way.

Dating apps are superficial, overly focussed on conventional tropes of what makes someone attractive and do not have your best interests at heart. Their business model relies on repeat customers so will actually give sub-optimal matches anyway because every person who finds their happy-ever-after will unsubscribe.

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

Only you can stop yourself believing that,no one else can.If you want to believe in misogynistic crap that makes all women out to be so flaky, than I really don't believe that anyone will or can change your mind. You have made excuses as to why you believe what you see oh YouTube to be true. When in my own experience it's so far away from fact that it's in a completely different realm of reality and for the majority of people I know as well.

You refuse to take a compliment which I do understand as I find it hard to as well quite often, especially from strangers.But you should try to take on board that no one on this thread would have felt obliged to compliment you and when they do try as take at least some of it as genuine and try and stop seeing yourself in a negative light only.

Only you can change your mindset but if you keep going down that road where you follow the thinking that women are completely superficial than you will most likely continue on a lonely bitter path. Maybe see them as a person just the same as how you want to be seen."

Yeh when I take a step back from it I realise how toxic and self fulfilling it is. Think that's the whole gimmick of the thing, to suck in lonely people and say this is how the world is and this is why you're lonely. Then you start believing it and become even more bitter and lonely and start viewing everything in a negative light. In regards to the blackpill it's actually easy to see how they funnel incels into far right neo nazi stuff. The whole thing is based on head shape, nose shape, ethnicity etc. Not too much of a stretch from that to white supremacist stuff

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

Only you can stop yourself believing that,no one else can.If you want to believe in misogynistic crap that makes all women out to be so flaky, than I really don't believe that anyone will or can change your mind. You have made excuses as to why you believe what you see oh YouTube to be true. When in my own experience it's so far away from fact that it's in a completely different realm of reality and for the majority of people I know as well.

"

To believe an entire sex is worthy of scorn seems like too big a leap to come back from imho

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

Only you can stop yourself believing that,no one else can.If you want to believe in misogynistic crap that makes all women out to be so flaky, than I really don't believe that anyone will or can change your mind. You have made excuses as to why you believe what you see oh YouTube to be true. When in my own experience it's so far away from fact that it's in a completely different realm of reality and for the majority of people I know as well.

You refuse to take a compliment which I do understand as I find it hard to as well quite often, especially from strangers.But you should try to take on board that no one on this thread would have felt obliged to compliment you and when they do try as take at least some of it as genuine and try and stop seeing yourself in a negative light only.

Only you can change your mindset but if you keep going down that road where you follow the thinking that women are completely superficial than you will most likely continue on a lonely bitter path. Maybe see them as a person just the same as how you want to be seen.

Yeh when I take a step back from it I realise how toxic and self fulfilling it is. Think that's the whole gimmick of the thing, to suck in lonely people and say this is how the world is and this is why you're lonely. Then you start believing it and become even more bitter and lonely and start viewing everything in a negative light. In regards to the blackpill it's actually easy to see how they funnel incels into far right neo nazi stuff. The whole thing is based on head shape, nose shape, ethnicity etc. Not too much of a stretch from that to white supremacist stuff "

Agreed

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Basically I never have any luck on dating apps which causes me to have really low self esteem. Then when I'm looking for comfort or understanding the youtube algorithm starts suggesting red pill and black pill content to me. For those who don't know Red Pill is basically the belief that no women will want you if you're not jacked and doing well financially. It's fairly sexist and the main person associated with it is Andrew Tate. However for all its myigosny it does at least promote self improvement and accountability in men. Black pill on the other hand is the belief that unless you are born with the right genetics and are good looking you're doomed as a guy because there's too much competition and more men then women on things like dating apps, and if you don't get anything it's because you're ugly.

The logical part of me knows that both are fairly dangerous and make women into nothing but sexual objects, but the depressed emo part of me can't help but feel they're right and that as a less than average guy I'm doomed to never have any luck with the opposite sex. How do I stop myself becoming a bitter incel weirdo?

Only you can stop yourself believing that,no one else can.If you want to believe in misogynistic crap that makes all women out to be so flaky, than I really don't believe that anyone will or can change your mind. You have made excuses as to why you believe what you see oh YouTube to be true. When in my own experience it's so far away from fact that it's in a completely different realm of reality and for the majority of people I know as well.

To believe an entire sex is worthy of scorn seems like too big a leap to come back from imho "

Luckily I managed to stop myself before fully buying into that narrative. Like the poster above said the reality is completely different to what these incels say. Women are judged much more harshly for how they look. For example Boris Johnson turned up for parliament looking like he'd been dragged through a bush but apart from a few jokes nothing was really said. Whereas Theresa May, even though I don't like her, was constantly judged for the way she looked, even by apparently progressive oppononents. Men may sleep with women they don't find particularly attractive but they don't date really date them because men are generally much more shallow. I hear women talk about how charming and confident a guy was, whereas rarely ever heard guys say they were attracted by a women's charm. The actual reality is women have it a lot worse in terms of 'lookism' and I think I was too busy wollowing in self pity to accept that fact

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