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Top Tips

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By *bi Haive OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'm in a helpful mood today. On the lookout for cats that need rescuing from trees, little old ladies that need helping across the road and short people who can't reach things on high up shelves in supermarkets.

So I thought adding some 'virtual'assistance may also add to my quota of good deeds for the day.

What top tips can you offer the lovely fab forum community this fine sunny day?

I'll start you off.

Women. Instead of paying extortionate amounts of money to have toxic chemicals injected in your face for that 'bee stung lips' look - simply smear jam on you mush and snog a few wasps.

Same result!

Over to you folks.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My top tip, follow your heart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My tip is sensitive.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Save money on expensive energy and cost of living bills by turning off all electricity in your home, sitting in complete darkness and not eating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied."

Thanks. I'll give it a go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied.

Thanks. I'll give it a go."

You're so welcome. I hope it helps.

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By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over


"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied.

Thanks. I'll give it a go.

You're so welcome. I hope it helps. "

112 called! x

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By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over

To save getting bitten tis summer, wrap yourself in clingfilm! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied.

Thanks. I'll give it a go.

You're so welcome. I hope it helps. "

Oh. I've just re-read this. BLENDER.

Brucey! You can stand down x

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

If you need a holiday, fab will give you one for free if you piss them off enough!

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline

If at first you don't succeed , try try and try again

Except on fab where if you don't get a reply take the feckin hint!

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Save cash on toilet paper by using your neighbours facilities for number 2s.

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By *bi Haive OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Never experience sorrow again by always carrying around a spare magpie.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take talc to the beach to use it to scrub wet sand off your feet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t go to the beach and save money on buying talc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don’t go to the beach and save money on buying talc "

Wow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you've just bought a new pair of shoes then make them last 3 times longer by only wearing them every 3rd day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worried you won’t go to heaven? Move to Luton for 6 months for easy hell credits.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Worried you won’t go to heaven? Move to Luton for 6 months for easy hell credits. "

Luton….it was surely being referred to in Dante’s Inferno

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Don't waste time ironing clothes. Simply place your garment on the (clean) floor and place an upturned ironing board on top of it. Leave it for the night and, hey presto, you're ready for that interview!

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Save a fortune* by making sure you don’t wear out your door hinges by only opening the door a little bit and squeezing through the gap

*probably not a fortune

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worried about your gas bill? Send an empty envelope to your gas supplier to send them sone unused gas back and get that refund!

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Never experience sorrow again by always carrying around a spare magpie.

A"

This is life changing

J

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Instead of using a fan to create a breeze on hot days, run up and down to create your own wind resistance.

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By *owboy BebopMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

If you live in Croydon, when out and about always carry an A-Z and ask strangers directions; that way you can pretend you don’t live there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't wear sandals near fire ants.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Don't waste time ironing clothes. Simply place your garment on the (clean) floor and place an upturned ironing board on top of it. Leave it for the night and, hey presto, you're ready for that interview!"

So... waste time cleaning the floor instead?

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you. "
If your chute doesn't open put a hand on top of your head.

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants


"If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you. If your chute doesn't open put a hand on top of your head."

Two pieces of advice from my instructor,

Pull the cord when you're 3 foot off the ground, if it doesn't open you can jump the last 3 feet.

If it doesn't open, take it back and complain.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Don't waste time ironing clothes. Simply place your garment on the (clean) floor and place an upturned ironing board on top of it. Leave it for the night and, hey presto, you're ready for that interview!

So... waste time cleaning the floor instead?"

When I called you filthy I didn't mean literally! Clean your floors, woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you. If your chute doesn't open put a hand on top of your head.

Two pieces of advice from my instructor,

Pull the cord when you're 3 foot off the ground, if it doesn't open you can jump the last 3 feet.

If it doesn't open, take it back and complain."
lol my favorite was when I went to jump school in the army the instructor told us females to wear a tampon or a pad when you are on a jump. It's so we don't whistle on the way down and sound like incoming artillery.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Don't waste time ironing clothes. Simply place your garment on the (clean) floor and place an upturned ironing board on top of it. Leave it for the night and, hey presto, you're ready for that interview!

So... waste time cleaning the floor instead?

When I called you filthy I didn't mean literally! Clean your floors, woman "

Yes sir

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Got one of those embarrassing spots/pimples on your face that tend to only appear when you're about to go out somewhere special?

Go out naked to ensure that nobody notices it!

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Instead of having that annoying problem of dropping buttered toast, butter the floor then throw the toast onto it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied."

Nice tips slightly modified, if women is horny sane blender can be used on nipples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The top of a sardine tin makes an excellent quiff for a small robot.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I need help crossing the road.

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Back home in Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 08/06/23 16:39:37]

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants


"If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you. If your chute doesn't open put a hand on top of your head.

Two pieces of advice from my instructor,

Pull the cord when you're 3 foot off the ground, if it doesn't open you can jump the last 3 feet.

If it doesn't open, take it back and complain. lol my favorite was when I went to jump school in the army the instructor told us females to wear a tampon or a pad when you are on a jump. It's so we don't whistle on the way down and sound like incoming artillery."

Or a Stuka......

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By *am_LincolnMan
over a year ago

Prestatyn

Don't waste time hoovering the house. Just set it on fire and the dirt will disappear.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

If you wanna have sex, just concust yourself until you forget you ever wanted it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Save money on expensive binoculars by standing closer to the thing you want to look at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If at first you don't succeed , try try and try again

Except on fab where if you don't get a reply take the feckin hint!"

Love this

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