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Cheating

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder who will reply

T

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I wonder who will reply

T"

I was thinking the same

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs


"I wonder who will reply

T"

Potentially only the ones who are open about it, I reckon

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By *orruptionandliesMan
over a year ago

leeds

Yeah sometimes, but then I know sometimes I am happier to be around afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah sometimes, but then I know sometimes I am happier to be around afterwards"

Sometimes one has to grasp whatever helps you carry on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have. I felt bad and shameful before we met and felt even worse going back. But at the time, it just felt so new and refreshing and really thought it brought out the best in me to make me better in the long term. I don't care what anyone says, getting a new gym buddy was the best thing I did

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"Yeah sometimes, but then I know sometimes I am happier to be around afterwards"

Good for you for replying. Far too many judgy folk on here, who don't know people's individual circumstances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going back some time, I cheated.

I've also been cheated on more than I have.

It hurt when I found out I'd been cheated on, a lot.

But the regret I felt after cheating, that lasted a lot longer.

Both changed me, having it done to me changed me for the worse, cheating myself changed me for the better.

Lessons learned.

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By *orruptionandliesMan
over a year ago

leeds


"Yeah sometimes, but then I know sometimes I am happier to be around afterwards

Good for you for replying. Far too many judgy folk on here, who don't know people's individual circumstances "

What's the point of being on the site and stating on my profile that I am married not to the conviction of your actions

I understand the consequences but also how it effects me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to respond about a situation I was in years ago.

We were both married. I was desperately unhappy, he was just lacking attention. It served both our needs for years. I got the affection I craved that allowed me to be strong and he kept his marriage alive as I didn't go out of my way to cause him problems.

When my own marriage ended we continued to see each other and I genuinely believe that in many ways I'm the reason they are still together.

As for my own marriage there were moment's where I actually found it thrilling, others where I was probably desperate for him to care enough so I'd feel guilty.

No one ever knows what's going on behind closed doors and no one ever will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it takes both parties in a relationship to make it work, and if one person goes out of their way to break the other person down so much that they consider doing it in the first place it's not always one person at fault.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Yeah sometimes, but then I know sometimes I am happier to be around afterwards

Good for you for replying. Far too many judgy folk on here, who don't know people's individual circumstances "

No-one is judging or has judged from what I can see!

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

My own little world

Ive cheated once before when I was in a relationship soon as the deed was done felt guilty as shit, yeah I could put it down to the person had cheated on me before and was exacting revenge but to me it's still am excuse I should just ended things wich I did a week after (without her knowing what I done wich I know is poor)

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"Yeah sometimes, but then I know sometimes I am happier to be around afterwards

Good for you for replying. Far too many judgy folk on here, who don't know people's individual circumstances

No-one is judging or has judged from what I can see!"

Not on this thread, no. I was referring to the forum as a whole. Barely a day goes by without someone being lambasted for their attempted, or actual, transgressions against what some folk believe to be the moral code all should abide by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so I stole £200 from. The bank the last time I played banker in monopoly

It was my salery for being the banker.

The £500 was my yearly bonus

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Malmesbury

No; when my life was totally sexless, I was resentful toward my partner for being the cause of my involuntary celibacy and it was tearing us apart; since I've been on Fab, I no longer have those feeling and we are closer and stronger than ever.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I used to be very black and white about this.

Then I talked to so many unhappy people, who loved their spouses in every way, but the sex had died.

They didn't want to hurt their spouse. In fact, twisted as it may appear to some, having that sexual outlet strengthened them mentally, to continue to be a good spouse and parent, in every other way.

Some might consider meeting a married person makes you an "enabler" but my reasoning, was that if it wasn't me it would be another. Who might be more demanding, or destructive.

I considered myself the safe option because I never wanted more. In fact knowing I could never have them helped me to keep a bit of perspective.

There are so many reasons people stray, and so many judgemental people here.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner? "

I was the 'other man' for a long time. The woman was a wonder at compartmentalising thing, better than me. I felt guilt, even though i despise him. He wasn't good for her but her prison was comfortable. She was great at rationalising what I couldn't. It's history now but it still doesn't sit well with me.

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

My ex certainly didn't

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Malmesbury


"I used to be very black and white about this.

Then I talked to so many unhappy people, who loved their spouses in every way, but the sex had died.

They didn't want to hurt their spouse. In fact, twisted as it may appear to some, having that sexual outlet strengthened them mentally, to continue to be a good spouse and parent, in every other way.

Some might consider meeting a married person makes you an "enabler" but my reasoning, was that if it wasn't me it would be another. Who might be more demanding, or destructive.

I considered myself the safe option because I never wanted more. In fact knowing I could never have them helped me to keep a bit of perspective.

There are so many reasons people stray, and so many judgemental people here."

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

It’s only cheating if you’re depriving the other party of something they want. If they don’t want sex and you do, it’s reasonable to get it where you can with someone ( who may be in the same situation) who does.

So, guilty? No.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I cheat at monopoly all the time because I fucking hate it. Not at cluedo though, too into that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can understand nobody knows what goes on in people’s private lives and I’m not judging anyone But my personal take on it is I couldn’t be involved with anyone who is married/had a partner.

I would be devastated if that happened to me and wouldn’t wish it on anyone the guilt would just eat me up.

Also what if you started as just for sex but then started to fall for each other? But like I said that’s just my personal opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s only cheating if you’re depriving the other party of something they want. If they don’t want sex and you do, it’s reasonable to get it where you can with someone ( who may be in the same situation) who does.

So, guilty? No. "

Then wouldn’t you be honest with you’re partner then about your intentions? it’s more the lies and deceit that would be the worst for me

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs


"I used to be very black and white about this.

Then I talked to so many unhappy people, who loved their spouses in every way, but the sex had died.

They didn't want to hurt their spouse. In fact, twisted as it may appear to some, having that sexual outlet strengthened them mentally, to continue to be a good spouse and parent, in every other way.

Some might consider meeting a married person makes you an "enabler" but my reasoning, was that if it wasn't me it would be another. Who might be more demanding, or destructive.

I considered myself the safe option because I never wanted more. In fact knowing I could never have them helped me to keep a bit of perspective.

There are so many reasons people stray, and so many judgemental people here."

I think many people can't comprehend cheating on spouses, so this thread is more for anyone who would wish to provide any insight as to how it feels for them when they return home. Rather than looking for explanation as to why they cheat, or offering any judgement to them

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"I used to be very black and white about this.

Then I talked to so many unhappy people, who loved their spouses in every way, but the sex had died.

They didn't want to hurt their spouse. In fact, twisted as it may appear to some, having that sexual outlet strengthened them mentally, to continue to be a good spouse and parent, in every other way.

Some might consider meeting a married person makes you an "enabler" but my reasoning, was that if it wasn't me it would be another. Who might be more demanding, or destructive.

I considered myself the safe option because I never wanted more. In fact knowing I could never have them helped me to keep a bit of perspective.

There are so many reasons people stray, and so many judgemental people here.

I think many people can't comprehend cheating on spouses, so this thread is more for anyone who would wish to provide any insight as to how it feels for them when they return home. Rather than looking for explanation as to why they cheat, or offering any judgement to them "

This

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By *ungscotsman26Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I used to be very black and white about this.

Then I talked to so many unhappy people, who loved their spouses in every way, but the sex had died.

They didn't want to hurt their spouse. In fact, twisted as it may appear to some, having that sexual outlet strengthened them mentally, to continue to be a good spouse and parent, in every other way.

Some might consider meeting a married person makes you an "enabler" but my reasoning, was that if it wasn't me it would be another. Who might be more demanding, or destructive.

I considered myself the safe option because I never wanted more. In fact knowing I could never have them helped me to keep a bit of perspective.

There are so many reasons people stray, and so many judgemental people here."

This is a great take I feel. The key here is you never wanted more though.

I've been the "other" person. We were good friends and I knew she was in a long term relationship, and it was her who actually initiated something happening with us.

After a while though I actually wanted more than the sexual side, but I said from day one I'd never ask her to leave him as I didn't want to be that person, and even if she did then it's not a great way to start a relationship. Deep down i also think i knew she wouldnt.

Ended naturally as a result, they are happily married with a kid now. We had some fun, and if I'm brutally honest I don't regret it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Going back some time, I cheated.

I've also been cheated on more than I have.

It hurt when I found out I'd been cheated on, a lot.

But the regret I felt after cheating, that lasted a lot longer.

Both changed me, having it done to me changed me for the worse, cheating myself changed me for the better.

Lessons learned. "

This

I cheated a long time ago and I had to learn my lesson.. be open and honest, and have fun x

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner? "

Asking the burning question I didn't have the balls to ask!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably one of the few who will own up. I don't have regrets. It's been purely Fwb and nothing more

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By *remiumbondMan
over a year ago

Morpeth


"It’s only cheating if you’re depriving the other party of something they want. If they don’t want sex and you do, it’s reasonable to get it where you can with someone ( who may be in the same situation) who does.

So, guilty? No. "

I’m in this boat …. Menopause has killed her sex drive & mines rampant…. She won’t even touch me !!!!

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I’m a serial monogamist but I’ll always still be chasing that ‘first kiss’ rush and I’m not shy about going out and finding it.

I accepted this side of myself a very long time ago - decades ago. It turns out I compartmentalise very well.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"I’m a serial monogamist but I’ll always still be chasing that ‘first kiss’ rush and I’m not shy about going out and finding it.

I accepted this side of myself a very long time ago - decades ago. It turns out I compartmentalise very well. "

And that ability to compartmentalise is very desirable in these circumstances.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated "

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them"

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them""

Why do you think people cheat?

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them"

Why do you think people cheat?"

Going by what I've heard/been told..there are loads of excuses why people do it. I can't answer why people do it as I'm not them.

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By *hyme2020Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow Scotland

I make a point of saying I won’t meet attached men, and it’s for a few reasons. I can understand completely why there are so many unhappy people in their marriages. Feeling like they are stuck without affection and intimacy. I was that person so I get it. The main reason I don’t get involved is because I feel like I could end up getting hurt from it. Cancelled meets if something came up , unable to message freely when they/I want to. I like to build up a connection with someone and it’s not just purely physical for me so I would be worried I started getting feelings as it has happened before with a fwb and the guy actually hurt me more than he will realise. I’m protecting myself. I might not agree with people cheating, but I understand why it is done and each to their own, just would rather not be involved.

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford

[Removed by poster at 06/06/23 22:29:47]

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them"

Why do you think people cheat?

Going by what I've heard/been told..there are loads of excuses why people do it. I can't answer why people do it as I'm not them."

But it's still excuses for unforgivable actions?

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them"

Why do you think people cheat?

Going by what I've heard/been told..there are loads of excuses why people do it. I can't answer why people do it as I'm not them.

But it's still excuses for unforgivable actions? "

For me....yes

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them""

Sadly very true in a lot of cases

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner? "

I certainly do as it ended our marriage now so yes if I could turn back the clock no I wouldn’t do it again that’s for sure

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner?

I certainly do as it ended our marriage now so yes if I could turn back the clock no I wouldn’t do it again that’s for sure "

What....marriage or cheat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't feel regret, shame or guilt.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I didn't feel regret, shame or guilt.

"

Some do, some don't.

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner?

I certainly do as it ended our marriage now so yes if I could turn back the clock no I wouldn’t do it again that’s for sure

What....marriage or cheat? "

I cheated felt guilty and split up with my wife she could tell something was wrong so I told her

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them"

Why do you think people cheat?

Going by what I've heard/been told..there are loads of excuses why people do it. I can't answer why people do it as I'm not them.

But it's still excuses for unforgivable actions?

For me....yes "

ok i get that. i understand how it's black and white for you. For others it's shades of grey (fuck me for using that expression).

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Never cheated

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated "

Very succintly put

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them"

Why do you think people cheat?

Going by what I've heard/been told..there are loads of excuses why people do it. I can't answer why people do it as I'm not them.

But it's still excuses for unforgivable actions?

For me....yes

ok i get that. i understand how it's black and white for you. For others it's shades of grey (fuck me for using that expression)."

It's nothing to do with "grey areas"

Funny how those who cheat and potentially ruin someone's life aren't brave enough to be honest with the unsuspecting partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I didn't feel regret, shame or guilt.

Some do, some don't."

It's just sex nothing more.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them"

Why do you think people cheat?

Going by what I've heard/been told..there are loads of excuses why people do it. I can't answer why people do it as I'm not them.

But it's still excuses for unforgivable actions?

For me....yes

ok i get that. i understand how it's black and white for you. For others it's shades of grey (fuck me for using that expression).

It's nothing to do with "grey areas"

Funny how those who cheat and potentially ruin someone's life aren't brave enough to be honest with the unsuspecting partner."

I don't want to speak for every person that has cheated but are you prepared to consider that not everyone would be in a position to be open and disclose what they were doing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner? "

If a single person fucks a married person , who in your opinion ( not that it matters tbh ) it's just an opinion..is cheating ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't think they would, else they wouldn't do it in the first place

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated

I think that...obviously don't give a shit about their partner especially the ones who say "what they don't know won't hurt them"

Why do you think people cheat?

Going by what I've heard/been told..there are loads of excuses why people do it. I can't answer why people do it as I'm not them.

But it's still excuses for unforgivable actions?

For me....yes

ok i get that. i understand how it's black and white for you. For others it's shades of grey (fuck me for using that expression).

It's nothing to do with "grey areas"

Funny how those who cheat and potentially ruin someone's life aren't brave enough to be honest with the unsuspecting partner.

I don't want to speak for every person that has cheated but are you prepared to consider that not everyone would be in a position to be open and disclose what they were doing?"

There is only one position that would make it hard to be be honest and open....a friend was in it and yet still didn't betray their partner.

Anyway each to their own...some make excuses and are absolutely fine with it...others have said they have felt guilt...which us what the thread is about.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner?

If a single person fucks a married person , who in your opinion ( not that it matters tbh ) it's just an opinion..is cheating ? "

The one who said the marriage vows!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I didn't feel regret, shame or guilt.

Some do, some don't.

It's just sex nothing more. "

Really ? ..that's your opinion..if a person is cheating it's way more than sex ..there is huge fallout from cheating especially if there's kids involved .. cheating is way more than just sex .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner?

If a single person fucks a married person , who in your opinion ( not that it matters tbh ) it's just an opinion..is cheating ?

The one who said the marriage vows!"

So the single person can fuck a married person and isn't cheating ? ..I'm only asking this as it crossed my mind a few times as a single guy ..

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner?

If a single person fucks a married person , who in your opinion ( not that it matters tbh ) it's just an opinion..is cheating ?

The one who said the marriage vows!

So the single person can fuck a married person and isn't cheating ? ..I'm only asking this as it crossed my mind a few times as a single guy .."

The single person never made any vows to another person and in most cases, I suspect the married person wouldn't be so upfront about being married, therefore also deceiving the single one.

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline


"I'm guessing most don't give a crap or they wouldn't be doing behind partners back. Never cheated and never will and I've been in a sexless relationship and ended it before sleeping with someone else.

Getting your leg over isn't worth the pain it would cause someone else if they found out you'd cheated "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's look at it the other way round too, the emotional, mentaland trusting damage it has on your future as a person who has been cheated on.

I've been cheated on in two relationships, and honestly, I have zero trust in any maybe future partner (which there isn't going to be) because firstly I don't feel worthy of a relationship because in my mind I must be that crap at everything within that relationship it causes women to cheat on me...so to prevent this happening I emotionally shut down to avoid getting hurt.

I know this isn't specifically aimed at women this thread, and I know we are all grown ups but men get equally hurt and damaged.

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline

It's the lying that bugs me.

I've been in relationships that weren't working. Relationships are built on trust. Once trust is gone love isn't enough.

I had the balls to end the relationship and endure the heartache, financial loss, losing friends etc to do it. In the end my ex partner and I were happier away from each other. If it isn't working then discuss the options with the other person , open relationship, fwb , or separate.

I've also unaware been the other person , nothing worse than liking someone you believe is single only to find out they aren't and are lying to you both. It's selfish and disgusting in my view.

Don't care if it sounds judging or not.

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline


"

The single person never made any vows to another person and in most cases, I suspect the married person wouldn't be so upfront about being married, therefore also deceiving the single one."

This

Recently happened to me with a guy from here , met 5 times thinking he was single. Turns out he has a wife on here and a couples profile . Claims to be straight .

Lying twat

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By *ornyhun69Woman
over a year ago

Wales

I think every answer here could be different. Do I feel guilty? No. Do I feel sad? Yes. No one will truly know what is going on behind closed doors and the reason behind cheating. Personally for me I don't feel guilty. We just co exist together. There is no form of intimate relationship no matter how hard I've tried, And believe me when I say I tried a lot before my head turned. I've also tried leaving.... that didn't turn out well either, but that's not a story for here. So yes I feel sad that we don't have the relationship that we once had but I don't feel guilty for putting my needs first. So I go out do what I have to do and return home like nothing ever happened. I've always been open and honest about it with the people I've met and never had any issues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before being married I had relationships where both sides cheated and it felt awful to do it amd be on receiving end of it. Taught me to sort issues in relationship or leave. So when I found myself in sexless married for many years ... did everything I could to fix relationship and then ended marriage rather that have "just sex" with someone else.

What I have found on here is that there are a number of people who not only lie to their spouse but also to the person they are having sex with about being single when not. Being on receiving end of that feels shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

The single person never made any vows to another person and in most cases, I suspect the married person wouldn't be so upfront about being married, therefore also deceiving the single one.

This

Recently happened to me with a guy from here , met 5 times thinking he was single. Turns out he has a wife on here and a couples profile . Claims to be straight .

Lying twat "

Happened twice to me. First one did have sex a few times before he confessed. Last one we'd thankfully only met for a social but were trying to meet for more. Of course he was logistically unavailable and it didn't fit with his claim to be single so called him out. Admitted he was married. Blocked ... lying to gain sex is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s such a difficult situation and everyone’s circumstances are different.

Ultimately, if all the married people on here were satisfied in their relationship then they wouldn’t be on here. Some may be here because they want something they can’t get from their partner (bisexuals for example), some may be here because their marriage is sexless or unsatisfying. If the marriage is sexless, you could argue that their partner is breaking the vow of “everything I am I give to you.” If we’re all open and honest with each other on here, then who are we to judge what is going on in someone private life away from Fab?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm going to respond about a situation I was in years ago.

We were both married. I was desperately unhappy, he was just lacking attention. It served both our needs for years. I got the affection I craved that allowed me to be strong and he kept his marriage alive as I didn't go out of my way to cause him problems.

When my own marriage ended we continued to see each other and I genuinely believe that in many ways I'm the reason they are still together.

As for my own marriage there were moment's where I actually found it thrilling, others where I was probably desperate for him to care enough so I'd feel guilty.

No one ever knows what's going on behind closed doors and no one ever will. "

Wise words MsWyld x

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By *hin_chillinWoman
over a year ago

secret location Cork

I personally choose not to meet married/attached men because a) it would make me uncomfortable and b) I was cheated on in the past & it damn near destroyed me. I would never intentionally & knowingly do that to someone else.

We don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives, but we also don’t know that the “excuses” as to why they’re cheating are legit.

The concept of cheating is different for everyone, some would consider their partner just being on here chatting as cheating, for others is could be a kiss etc., ultimately, for me, I think it’s about the betrayal, the lies, the lack of forethought that their actions have consequences and the willingness to destroy the life of the person they claim to love.

It’s something I’ve never been able to understand and if that makes me judgemental, then I’m ok with that.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 07/06/23 04:19:49]

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford


"I personally choose not to meet married/attached men because a) it would make me uncomfortable and b) I was cheated on in the past & it damn near destroyed me. I would never intentionally & knowingly do that to someone else.

We don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives, but we also don’t know that the “excuses” as to why they’re cheating are legit.

The concept of cheating is different for everyone, some would consider their partner just being on here chatting as cheating, for others is could be a kiss etc., ultimately, for me, I think it’s about the betrayal, the lies, the lack of forethought that their actions have consequences and the willingness to destroy the life of the person they claim to love.

It’s something I’ve never been able to understand and if that makes me judgemental, then I’m ok with that. "

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't like meeting married guys as the ones we've suspected in the past have been terribly unreliable. They have to sneak out and that can often change quickly if the spouse does something they're not expecting.

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By *ools1964Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

No I don't feel guilty at all, we haven't been intimate in years, truth is I prefer sex with men, I've never openly admitted my sexuality to her though I suspect she knows really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

I have no guilt or fear of consequences.

I'm not a nice person but that's my fault and my flaw.

I'd imagine over 80% of men on here are attached in some way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally choose not to meet married/attached men because a) it would make me uncomfortable and b) I was cheated on in the past & it damn near destroyed me. I would never intentionally & knowingly do that to someone else.

We don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives, but we also don’t know that the “excuses” as to why they’re cheating are legit.

The concept of cheating is different for everyone, some would consider their partner just being on here chatting as cheating, for others is could be a kiss etc., ultimately, for me, I think it’s about the betrayal, the lies, the lack of forethought that their actions have consequences and the willingness to destroy the life of the person they claim to love.

It’s something I’ve never been able to understand and if that makes me judgemental, then I’m ok with that. "

I agree with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No.

I have no guilt or fear of consequences.

I'm not a nice person but that's my fault and my flaw.

I'd imagine over 80% of men on here are attached in some way.

"

Am glad to be in the 20% so , cheating on someone is horrible, horrendous and not worth the pain that it brings , married people can fuck who they want ,when they want and how they want and good luck to them if thats what the want but it aint for me , too much heart ache and a person is always looking over their shoulder and how can you enjoy that ? If it ain't working in a marriage do the decent thing and let each other free , it's life , it happens but don't tear another person's life apart for sex .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't cheat so I have no regrets. My partner and I had a long discussion nearly 40 years ago and agreed on an open relationship with not lies and secrets. Hence the wonderful longevity of our most loving and strong relationship

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

I cheated once in a game of backgammon.

Haunts me to this day, but I really wanted the sweets and I was 9 years old.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"It’s only cheating if you’re depriving the other party of something they want. If they don’t want sex and you do, it’s reasonable to get it where you can with someone ( who may be in the same situation) who does.

So, guilty? No. "

So your partner doesn't want honesty and trust from you?

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

I did feel guilt and shame but like anything the more you do it the more normal it becomes.

I used to be a really nice honest person..

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner? "

when i was a dheat way back when, i did have some regrets, then days would pass without my partner even comingnnear me or responding to me, so it passed.

I dont cheat anymore. I do prefer to be open amd honest, its mych more fun.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

…

I’ve experienced it from all sides.

I’ve been cheated on and it’s a sickening, gut wrenching feeling, knowing your partner has been unfaithful. I think the lies and deceit are worse than the physical act itself.

I’ve cheated once before, many years ago. Myself and a long term partner split up just before I was due to go on a girls holiday. He pursuaded me to give things another go but I ended up sleeping with someone when I was away. I broke things off for good when I got home. I felt very guilty but it also made up my mind that the relationship was completely done. I never told him what I’d done and I’m glad I didn’t as it would have only caused him more hurt.

I’ve been the ‘other woman’, albeit unknowingly. I have slept with a couple of guys and found out afterwards that they were married. I can’t say I felt guilty about it as I was single and didn’t know they were attached. But I wouldn’t pursue anything regular with a married man or one in a long term relationship, as I wouldn’t want to be part of causing someone else’s suffering. I also wouldn’t want to deal with the drama, as the truth almost always comes out in the end.

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By *onningtonplumberMan
over a year ago

Donnington

In a previous relationship, the sex was fine but the relationship not so. I cheated it made me realise just how unhappy and uncommitted I was. I very soon within days ended the marriage and walked out.

Now some many years later I am in the opposite situation, very loving and very committed relationship, however, it's sex less. There is no blame to be apportioned its for medical reasons.

I have been on fab previously in a couple and met on numourous occasions. I'm here now not to destroy what I have but maybe just recover a little of what I don't have. My hope is that I'm up front about my situation and that I am not leading anyone on, or that any more will be expected of me.

There are a lot of profiles of married or attached folks some up front some deceptive of the fact. It seems to be more accepted of the women than it is of the men.

Outside of the swinging community folk would say even with consent it's still cheating. Let's all be accepting of alternate reality and find our own way by our own standards and without judgement.

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By *ulldipadovaMan
over a year ago

London

Cheating is the fist stage of cuckold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner? "

I cheated once and felt guilty after a business trip. But next time I had sex with wife (now ex for other reasons) she said I must have really missed her as I was rampant. I never told her I learned a few things with my hook up.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

On a thread like this the inevitable happens where there will be a pile on of negativity towards people, as though cheating is the worst thing that can happen in life and that one aspect makes you an awful person - all this without knowing details. There is lot of self congratulation that because they aren’t cheating they can take the moral high ground.

I’ve been around these forums for many years now and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these open and honest people do not necessarily make good humans or better people than the next person.

Fab is simply one aspect of a persons online persona. If you feel it tells the full story then I would say you are misguided.

There shouldn’t be any surprise when people don’t respond on here because these threads because they are intended to isolate, attack, and diminish a person. I don’t understand why anyone would engage with it

#bekind or was that so last year?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"On a thread like this the inevitable happens where there will be a pile on of negativity towards people, as though cheating is the worst thing that can happen in life and that one aspect makes you an awful person - all this without knowing details. There is lot of self congratulation that because they aren’t cheating they can take the moral high ground.

I’ve been around these forums for many years now and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these open and honest people do not necessarily make good humans or better people than the next person.

Fab is simply one aspect of a persons online persona. If you feel it tells the full story then I would say you are misguided.

There shouldn’t be any surprise when people don’t respond on here because these threads because they are intended to isolate, attack, and diminish a person. I don’t understand why anyone would engage with it

#bekind or was that so last year? "

Well said Babs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

My relationship was shit. I tried everything to save it, I really did. It became an abusive relationship which I eventually managed to leave, but without having someone tell me I was actually better than the gaslighting I got from my ex I'm not sure I'd even be here today.

Don't judge someone if you don't know what they've gone through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one owns you. No one has the right to tell you what to do with your body or soul. No one should think they have dominion over your life and your choices. It is disgusting that society keeps telling people that is this is their right, and should be the pinnacle to aspire to.

No one owns you. No one has the right to break your heart. No one has the right to deceive or lie to you. No one should promise a commitment to you only to give it to someone else. It is disgusting that society keeps allowing this to happen, with no punishment for those who break such a fundamental bond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found out about an affair two years ago. We talked shit out, ended up swinging and everything was great for 2 years. She started a new job and within a few weeks started snapchatting a new guy. Found out about this a few weeks ago.

I even said to her, if you liked this guy why didn't you tell me and we could of done something..mmf but she didn't and ended up in her old ways with gaslighting etc

I move out tomorrow

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I've honestly never done that. If it's a partner I don't hide anything.

I've come back from a meet where she has been you guys are totally going to fuck and I've be adamant we won't with my tail between my legs and a 'yeah didn't see that one coming, my bad.' But she laughed her socks off. Well my socks she always stole my socks.

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny


"It’s only cheating if you’re depriving the other party of something they want. If they don’t want sex and you do, it’s reasonable to get it where you can with someone ( who may be in the same situation) who does.

So, guilty? No.

Then wouldn’t you be honest with you’re partner then about your intentions? it’s more the lies and deceit that would be the worst for me "

Yes if the relationship still allows that sort of conversation. It’s got to help.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"It’s such a difficult situation and everyone’s circumstances are different.

Ultimately, if all the married people on here were satisfied in their relationship then they wouldn’t be on here. Some may be here because they want something they can’t get from their partner (bisexuals for example), some may be here because their marriage is sexless or unsatisfying. If the marriage is sexless, you could argue that their partner is breaking the vow of “everything I am I give to you.” If we’re all open and honest with each other on here, then who are we to judge what is going on in someone private life away from Fab?!"
You missed out that some are just on here and cheating as their selfish ..Not everyone has a sob story…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel terrible guilt when I cheat on my barber. God knows what I’d be like if I cheated on my partner.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"On a thread like this the inevitable happens where there will be a pile on of negativity towards people, as though cheating is the worst thing that can happen in life and that one aspect makes you an awful person - all this without knowing details. There is lot of self congratulation that because they aren’t cheating they can take the moral high ground.

I’ve been around these forums for many years now and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these open and honest people do not necessarily make good humans or better people than the next person.

Fab is simply one aspect of a persons online persona. If you feel it tells the full story then I would say you are misguided.

There shouldn’t be any surprise when people don’t respond on here because these threads because they are intended to isolate, attack, and diminish a person. I don’t understand why anyone would engage with it

#bekind or was that so last year? "

Yes, be kind - and be especially kind to your partner and children, and don't act in a way that is likely to devastate them, often irrevocably!

If you're in a sexless marriage tell them that you understand that they don't want or need sex (with you) but you do need it and will therefore find it elsewhere, and they're free to do so too.

I don't see why that shouldn't be accepted by the partner no matter what the situation - they might get upset (especially in a medical situation) and they may not want to know, but at least you've remained honest to what is supposed to be your best friend.

As many have said, it's not the physical act that's so hurtful, it's the lies and the deceit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was married I did cheat, and yes more often than not I did feel guilty but things weren’t good and when they were good it had never crossed my mind. We tried sorting things through and it just wasn’t happening.

Is that an excuse not really I guess in lots of people’s eyes. We are no longer together and to the best of my knowledge she still doesn’t know. But people have many reasons for their actions and generally these things are seldom black and white. So it’s a personal choice if a: you do cheat b: if you are the person that is part of the cheating.

But let’s not be to judgemental, we are all on here and there are many people who would judge all of our actions

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"On a thread like this the inevitable happens where there will be a pile on of negativity towards people, as though cheating is the worst thing that can happen in life and that one aspect makes you an awful person - all this without knowing details. There is lot of self congratulation that because they aren’t cheating they can take the moral high ground.

I’ve been around these forums for many years now and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these open and honest people do not necessarily make good humans or better people than the next person.

Fab is simply one aspect of a persons online persona. If you feel it tells the full story then I would say you are misguided.

There shouldn’t be any surprise when people don’t respond on here because these threads because they are intended to isolate, attack, and diminish a person. I don’t understand why anyone would engage with it

#bekind or was that so last year?

Yes, be kind - and be especially kind to your partner and children, and don't act in a way that is likely to devastate them, often irrevocably!

If you're in a sexless marriage tell them that you understand that they don't want or need sex (with you) but you do need it and will therefore find it elsewhere, and they're free to do so too.

I don't see why that shouldn't be accepted by the partner no matter what the situation - they might get upset (especially in a medical situation) and they may not want to know, but at least you've remained honest to what is supposed to be your best friend.

As many have said, it's not the physical act that's so hurtful, it's the lies and the deceit."

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it was something outside reality. I would just deviate from my normal day, have a really good day free from all the crap, and then slot back into it when I left. When I got back home it was like it'd never happened.

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Rugby

Our story met a supposed single guy on another site.Built up a great relationship friendship he was also meeting single women obviously.We then got a single women on site contact us for a meet.Turns out she was his wife.She had found his profile & feedback etc.Not a situation we would like to repeat

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Rugby

If a single guy/gal is married and playing away in secret they should be upfront & honest so that peeps can decide if they want to become involved.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs


"If a single guy/gal is married and playing away in secret they should be upfront & honest so that peeps can decide if they want to become involved. "

Exactly this. Having to find out the hard way fucking sucks, especially when she has a go at me for his behaviour, which I had zero idea about

Which is another reason why I'm extremely cautious about giving my number out...

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums. "

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"On a thread like this the inevitable happens where there will be a pile on of negativity towards people, as though cheating is the worst thing that can happen in life and that one aspect makes you an awful person - all this without knowing details. There is lot of self congratulation that because they aren’t cheating they can take the moral high ground.

I’ve been around these forums for many years now and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these open and honest people do not necessarily make good humans or better people than the next person.

Fab is simply one aspect of a persons online persona. If you feel it tells the full story then I would say you are misguided.

There shouldn’t be any surprise when people don’t respond on here because these threads because they are intended to isolate, attack, and diminish a person. I don’t understand why anyone would engage with it

#bekind or was that so last year?

Yes, be kind - and be especially kind to your partner and children, and don't act in a way that is likely to devastate them, often irrevocably!

If you're in a sexless marriage tell them that you understand that they don't want or need sex (with you) but you do need it and will therefore find it elsewhere, and they're free to do so too.

I don't see why that shouldn't be accepted by the partner no matter what the situation - they might get upset (especially in a medical situation) and they may not want to know, but at least you've remained honest to what is supposed to be your best friend.

As many have said, it's not the physical act that's so hurtful, it's the lies and the deceit.

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums. "

Yes agree think this is true x

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline

If you're going to cheat that's initially between you and your partner.

When you involve someone else and you lie to them and tell them you are single then yes I will judge you .

But if you can't be honest with yourself or your partner then I guess lying to the 3rd party is very easy for most.

I'm single because I chose to not answer to anybody, I've paid my dues and done my suffering in relationships and had the guts to walk away when I had to.

Therfore I don't want involved in someone else's mess.

If you lie to me then I've zero sympathy or tolerance for you

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........"

I did engage with you on this topic and still no wiser as to why you asked. I don't think you were approaching with an open mind. I don't think it was to gain an understanding. I may be wrong.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"On a thread like this the inevitable happens where there will be a pile on of negativity towards people, as though cheating is the worst thing that can happen in life and that one aspect makes you an awful person - all this without knowing details. There is lot of self congratulation that because they aren’t cheating they can take the moral high ground.

I’ve been around these forums for many years now and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these open and honest people do not necessarily make good humans or better people than the next person.

Fab is simply one aspect of a persons online persona. If you feel it tells the full story then I would say you are misguided.

There shouldn’t be any surprise when people don’t respond on here because these threads because they are intended to isolate, attack, and diminish a person. I don’t understand why anyone would engage with it

#bekind or was that so last year?

Yes, be kind - and be especially kind to your partner and children, and don't act in a way that is likely to devastate them, often irrevocably!

If you're in a sexless marriage tell them that you understand that they don't want or need sex (with you) but you do need it and will therefore find it elsewhere, and they're free to do so too.

I don't see why that shouldn't be accepted by the partner no matter what the situation - they might get upset (especially in a medical situation) and they may not want to know, but at least you've remained honest to what is supposed to be your best friend.

As many have said, it's not the physical act that's so hurtful, it's the lies and the deceit.

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums. "

Couldnt agree more, Babs xx

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

The OP is biased from the start, by using words such as regret, shame and guilt. There is no desire for debate to be had here. Which is why I suspect some further up have commented on the negativity of the thread.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"On a thread like this the inevitable happens where there will be a pile on of negativity towards people, as though cheating is the worst thing that can happen in life and that one aspect makes you an awful person - all this without knowing details. There is lot of self congratulation that because they aren’t cheating they can take the moral high ground.

I’ve been around these forums for many years now and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these open and honest people do not necessarily make good humans or better people than the next person.

Fab is simply one aspect of a persons online persona. If you feel it tells the full story then I would say you are misguided.

There shouldn’t be any surprise when people don’t respond on here because these threads because they are intended to isolate, attack, and diminish a person. I don’t understand why anyone would engage with it

#bekind or was that so last year? "

Well said Babs

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........"

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way. "

Is that not because some people see cheating as negative, so their comments will naturally show that negativity. Also some wish to voice an opinion on something that has affected them personally that could be negative. Emotional subjects will always have the potential to take a thread into angst. But I don't think this is one of them. I've seen a awful lot worse that has been voiced on threads discussing cheating on here before

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By *eekin NSAMan
over a year ago

Ireland /Kilkenny areas

No Not feeling guilty at all Not all roses in the garden Every meet the ladies must feel the same thing coz they out for the very same reasons. X

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way. "

It was a question..simple as that. If you see anymore than that, then that's done to you.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We aren’t going to judge anyone else, but for us we are totally open with each other and do not cheat on each other. Fab is a joint thing for us

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way.

It was a question..simple as that. If you see anymore than that, then that's done to you."

We do all interpret things differently, I’ll accept that. But I think a comment was made about who would comment on the thread and you said you wondered the same with a

I don’t think that is encouraging positive conversation or sharing of views. The opening comment was framed as a negative thing, which in turn will generally only encourage more negativity, and even a witch-hunt on occasion.

Anyway, that’s just how I see these types of threads.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way.

Is that not because some people see cheating as negative, so their comments will naturally show that negativity. Also some wish to voice an opinion on something that has affected them personally that could be negative. Emotional subjects will always have the potential to take a thread into angst. But I don't think this is one of them. I've seen a awful lot worse that has been voiced on threads discussing cheating on here before"

Yes, but that was precisely my point. These threads have potential to almost attack people, which is why setting the tone is important. There may have been worse threads (in fact, I know there has been) but I do feel these threads are started often with the intention of causing upset and more often than not, that is what happens.

I agree with you regarding people’s personal experiences, if it’s a bad experience you will see cheating that way. My point is more about the tone set and the way these threads end up. The rights and wrongs of cheating are not for me to judge.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way.

It was a question..simple as that. If you see anymore than that, then that's done to you.

We do all interpret things differently, I’ll accept that. But I think a comment was made about who would comment on the thread and you said you wondered the same with a

I don’t think that is encouraging positive conversation or sharing of views. The opening comment was framed as a negative thing, which in turn will generally only encourage more negativity, and even a witch-hunt on occasion.

Anyway, that’s just how I see these types of threads. "

And you are entitled to your opinion just like everyone else. .good or bad.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way.

It was a question..simple as that. If you see anymore than that, then that's done to you.

We do all interpret things differently, I’ll accept that. But I think a comment was made about who would comment on the thread and you said you wondered the same with a

I don’t think that is encouraging positive conversation or sharing of views. The opening comment was framed as a negative thing, which in turn will generally only encourage more negativity, and even a witch-hunt on occasion.

Anyway, that’s just how I see these types of threads.

And you are entitled to your opinion just like everyone else. .good or bad."

Something we can agree on

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

We all do bad things in life. Cheating is something people have done and will continue to do until the end of time.

Don't worry what others do. Concentrate on yourself and try to be a good person.

You have a clear conscience and will be at peace.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way.

It was a question..simple as that. If you see anymore than that, then that's done to you.

We do all interpret things differently, I’ll accept that. But I think a comment was made about who would comment on the thread and you said you wondered the same with a

I don’t think that is encouraging positive conversation or sharing of views. The opening comment was framed as a negative thing, which in turn will generally only encourage more negativity, and even a witch-hunt on occasion.

Anyway, that’s just how I see these types of threads.

And you are entitled to your opinion just like everyone else. .good or bad.

Something we can agree on "

About the only thing....anyway back to the topic!

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"We all do bad things in life. Cheating is something people have done and will continue to do until the end of time.

Don't worry what others do. Concentrate on yourself and try to be a good person.

You have a clear conscience and will be at peace."

I think the only worry people have is being dragged into a cheating situation that they never wanted to be part off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I’m not arguing the rights and wrongs of cheating, I’m not questioning people’s reason’s because that’s none of my business. I’m merely saying that these threads are here generally to attack people, belittle people and be antagonistic with a tone of holier than thou.

When I refer to #bekind I am referring to the people on the forums.

I can't see anywhere on the thread anyone being 'attacked" or "belittled"........

I think the tone was set from the start, and it’s not framed as an open discussion. I stand by what I said, these threads often go that negative way.

Is that not because some people see cheating as negative, so their comments will naturally show that negativity. Also some wish to voice an opinion on something that has affected them personally that could be negative. Emotional subjects will always have the potential to take a thread into angst. But I don't think this is one of them. I've seen a awful lot worse that has been voiced on threads discussing cheating on here before

Yes, but that was precisely my point. These threads have potential to almost attack people, which is why setting the tone is important. There may have been worse threads (in fact, I know there has been) but I do feel these threads are started often with the intention of causing upset and more often than not, that is what happens.

I agree with you regarding people’s personal experiences, if it’s a bad experience you will see cheating that way. My point is more about the tone set and the way these threads end up. The rights and wrongs of cheating are not for me to judge. "

I'm in agreement, don't get me wrong.

Though this thread has surprisingly gone very well, with no attacks.

I agree about setting the tone, though again, this thread has stayed quite true to the subject and without any attacks.

Threads often do take a turn, and can often get nasty over the slightest of things, with several jumping on to repeat the same dig.

I honestly believe fab forum users deserve applauding for the reaction here, on this very sensitive subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/06/23 21:17:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner? "

I am here with full consent, but shagging other people still feels like cheating

I guess it's just me not getting past social conditioning

I always feel a little bit of guilt afterwards, but once I've been intimate with my OH again, the guilt is gone

That first shag after meeting someone else is almost an affirmation that I am with the right person

Shagging others is fun for sure, but there's no better sex than that which you craft over years with someone who has all of you and you them

Does that make sense?

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner?

I am here with full consent, but shagging other people still feels like cheating

I guess it's just me not getting past social conditioning

I always feel a little bit of guilt afterwards, but once I've been intimate with my OH again, the guilt is gone

That first shag after meeting someone else is almost an affirmation that I am with the right person

Shagging others is fun for sure, but there's no better sex than that which you craft over years with someone who has all of you and you them

Does that make sense?"

Absolutely

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By *oundbum69Man
over a year ago

orpington

Well, my partner hasn't wanted sex for the last 5 years, so no,I'd have no guilt whatsoever.

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero


"Well, my partner hasn't wanted sex for the last 5 years, so no,I'd have no guilt whatsoever. "

If its just sex why not get an lady of the night?

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By *uer MalusMan
over a year ago

Narnia


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner? "

I find this type of sanctimonious post bemusing. Of course you have discussed your lifestyle choices at the village fair or at the school pickup… get down from the lectern already.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"For those "cheating"

Do you feel any regret, shame, guilt etc when you've had a meet and then return to your unsuspecting partner?

I find this type of sanctimonious post bemusing. Of course you have discussed your lifestyle choices at the village fair or at the school pickup… get down from the lectern already."

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By *ed Stag 100Man
over a year ago

normanton

Never created but have been cheated on in the past so know what it feels like & would not want someone I care about to feel as I have before

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By *atalie..Woman
over a year ago

Bolton

Question,

So you are in a long term relationship or marriage, and everything is wonderful apart from the sex part hence the cheating part.

Is a wet hole worth losing everything else that is wonderful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Question,

So you are in a long term relationship or marriage, and everything is wonderful apart from the sex part hence the cheating part.

Is a wet hole worth losing everything else that is wonderful?"

It's not always about a wet hole, or a hard pole.

It's often about the intimacy.

Humans need intimacy and if it's denied, we can seriously suffer, mentally.

I'm not suggesting cheating is fine, I'm offering another perspective.

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