FabSwingers.com forum: Discretion and employment

By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

I’ve met a few people who are very dead set on not sharing what they do for work. Maybe I’m too open to sharing what I do for work, and back then didn’t realise people weren’t as open.

I ended up finding out what two, of the said people, did for work by chance as they had public facing roles in our community. I never mentioned this to them or others, and respected their privacy.

I’m interested to hear from you fabbers. If you have had a social with someone, they know what you look like, they know your real names, you’ve met and had fun several times, would you still be concerned about them knowing what you do for work?

I guess there are some security factors to consider!

Interested to hear thoughts on this.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Not concerned about sharing, not that interested either, unless someone have a really interesting / fun job.

Im far more interested in what someone does when not working

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By *andadbodMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

i watch paint dry

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By *ooroo2019Woman
over a year ago

Chester

I don’t mind sharing what I do. But I work in IT project Governance. It sounds so dull that I never get any follow up questions.

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"Not concerned about sharing, not that interested either, unless someone have a really interesting / fun job.

Im far more interested in what someone does when not working "

Yeah exactly. I find many jobs interesting though, especially if I don’t know what the role is/involves. I guess it’s a big part of most peoples lives.

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"i watch paint dry

What kind of paint? How long does it take? Do different paints dry at different rates? Do you watch one section of paint or the whole wall? Do you collect paint drying data and, if so, why?

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"I don’t mind sharing what I do. But I work in IT project Governance. It sounds so dull that I never get any follow up questions. "

Governance interests me! Often in my field, that’s where you find which people are cutting corners

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We didn't ever tell anyone we met where we worked or what we did apart from the vague career definition. We never got to know anyone well enough to trust them that far. People do funny things when sex is involved in the mix

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

This is why we prefer clubs, for the anonymity. If someone wants to know real world (non swinging) stuff about us we avoid them.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I don’t really divulge much about my private life in meets. people have found me quite interesting after a meet and realised they actually didn’t really notice that I barely talked much about anything meaningful in my own life .

I just chit chat enough to keep

Things free flowing but must people seem happy talking about themselves / experiences so it’s easy to just play into that. ..

Personally I am interested in peoples real life stuff as I am just here to hook for no brain straining sex fun ultimately

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"We didn't ever tell anyone we met where we worked or what we did apart from the vague career definition. We never got to know anyone well enough to trust them that far. People do funny things when sex is involved in the mix"

Oh yeah I only mean vaguely!

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By *ooroo2019Woman
over a year ago

Chester

"I don’t mind sharing what I do. But I work in IT project Governance. It sounds so dull that I never get any follow up questions.

Governance interests me! Often in my field, that’s where you find which people are cutting corners

No cutting corners on my watch!

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"This is why we prefer clubs, for the anonymity. If someone wants to know real world (non swinging) stuff about us we avoid them."

I can appreciate that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't feel anyone's employment position is our business, or ours theirs.

I know a guy that was open about his job, and a woman tried to black-mail him, saying she'll inform his employer.

Whether or not they would take action is one thing, but then on top of that, he may want to keep his private life from work.

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"I don’t really divulge much about my private life in meets. people have found me quite interesting after a meet and realised they actually didn’t really notice that I barely talked much about anything meaningful in my own life .

I just chit chat enough to keep

Things free flowing but must people seem happy talking about themselves / experiences so it’s easy to just play into that. ..

Personally I am interested in peoples real life stuff as I am just here to hook for no brain straining sex fun ultimately

I talk about myself far too much so I make a conscious effort to stop and make space for others haha. No brain straining sex sounds like ideal sex!

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"I don’t mind sharing what I do. But I work in IT project Governance. It sounds so dull that I never get any follow up questions.

Governance interests me! Often in my field, that’s where you find which people are cutting corners

No cutting corners on my watch!"

IT Governance level 999+

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m happy to share what I do for work but I wouldn’t share the company name etc. I wouldn’t want to risk someone turning up to my place of work.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"I’ve met a few people who are very dead set on not sharing what they do for work. Maybe I’m too open to sharing what I do for work, and back then didn’t realise people weren’t as open.

I ended up finding out what two, of the said people, did for work by chance as they had public facing roles in our community. I never mentioned this to them or others, and respected their privacy.

I guess there are some security factors to consider!

Interested to hear thoughts on this. "

It depends how identifiable your job is a guess! If you're a niche job or tradesman etc. If you're not in public service and like an accountant or office worker, it's probably less of a deal to mention!

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By *r_BigHeadMan
over a year ago

The Naughty Step (aka Northampton)

If anyone asks I just say I'm a Transponster

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Some over cautious people have asked, maybe some nosey people have asked. For the majority, people don't, they're more interested in what you're about, but over time for one reason or another people seem to more comfortable in saying what they do. Have to say, I've have never stumbled across anyone publicly I've met privately.

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"If anyone asks I just say I'm a Transponster

Can’t tell if this is supposed to say trainspotter, transporter, or trans pornstar.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I say the industry,but not the actual place I work at

Sadly some aren't very discreet & years ago I had a bloke try & find out where I worked as he wanted to turn up and suprise me

I've had people ask me first message where I work also.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I just chit chat enough to keep

Things free flowing but must people seem happy talking about themselves / experiences so it’s easy to just play into that. ..

Personally I am interested in peoples real life stuff as I am just here to hook for no brain straining sex fun ultimately

I talk about myself far too much so I make a conscious effort to stop and make space for others haha. No brain straining sex sounds like ideal sex!"

See if people talk too much about themselves I just tell them remember we are meeting to have sex not a live documentary

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Not concerned about sharing, not that interested either, unless someone have a really interesting / fun job.

Im far more interested in what someone does when not working

Yeah exactly. I find many jobs interesting though, especially if I don’t know what the role is/involves. I guess it’s a big part of most peoples lives. "

Most of my jobs have been in IT & Finance transformation which sounds incredibly dull but the travel and adventure and people make it fun.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't tell people exactly what I do for work, I'll give the jist if asked but no one needs to know it isn't relevant, work & fab life don't cross over.

Some governing bodies would give cause for dismissal if found to be on here.

Mrs

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

I never had this problem.

I was self employed and am now retired

If they turned up unexpectedly at my office (no one did) I’ve seen enough porn to know how to handle it.

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

I just chit chat enough to keep

Things free flowing but must people seem happy talking about themselves / experiences so it’s easy to just play into that. ..

Personally I am interested in peoples real life stuff as I am just here to hook for no brain straining sex fun ultimately

I talk about myself far too much so I make a conscious effort to stop and make space for others haha. No brain straining sex sounds like ideal sex!

See if people talk too much about themselves I just tell them remember we are meeting to have sex not a live documentary

Oh well, I’m happy to switch genres to x-rated at any given time!

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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"I don't tell people exactly what I do for work, I'll give the jist if asked but no one needs to know it isn't relevant, work & fab life don't cross over.

Some governing bodies would give cause for dismissal if found to be on here.

Mrs "

Yes I guess that’s a big one!

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By *prilSubTV/TS
over a year ago

I love when guys only have close up dick pics and when I ask if they have any different pics they say no because of their job.

Like, I'm not asking for your passport photo and no one is gonna recognise you from your torso or arms and even if they did, are you not allowed to have sex with the job you have?

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By *iss_FickleWoman
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

I don't really feel like it's relevant information - we're not dating.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've had 60+ social meets in 6 years here.

Less than 10 of those know my first name and only a handful know my surname.

I've never asked anyone what they do for a living as it has no bearing on anything here.

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

As long as I am fairly certain they are a legitimate person and/or we have met and I know they don't work where I do then I don't mind telling people what I do for work. Maybe not the exact office I work in though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t tell anyone from here any details about my private or personal life. I prefer keeping that totally separate.

Also I’ve had issues with overly keen people in the past. So by withholding information it helps with my security and safety too.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I just give a vague field of my job, I share more if I got to know them more. I am interested in what people do though

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I'm not really that bothered, they could just say civil servant and I'd be none the wiser.

One of my friends is in the forces, I know what he does but he can't tell me where he is. I just annoy him trying to guess.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Also, I tell people I'm signed off (true) but I could be fibbing... They generally don't ask anything else after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just give out my job title there’s no specifics involved etc

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Unless it's someone I meet regularly and have met a lot then I don't tell them much about myself. Work wise I'll tell them the title of my job but nothing more if they ask. I have had two bad experiences on here with people working out where I had worked.One through some info I had given a couple when I had met them and they decided it was okay to tell someone else the next time we met, and another guy who put a few snippets of info I told him through chatting for a while,put it together and came up with a few names of places one of which was my previous place of employment and threatened to tell them I was as on here.

It's why now I don't tell people my real name until I know them well Bo will do and I don't give out personal info for the same reason.Lots of people on here are too free with info they get about others and are willing to share it.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Having been in a situation where someone tried to out me to a previous employer and now beingbself employed I'm very choosy about who I share anything important with.

Club meets? Won't generally know my real name or anything personal about us and we'll share basic info on jobs etc if it crops up. Some people we'll tell more, but on a case by case basis.

It's easy to maintain discretion, not overshare and separate normal life from Fab and swinging.

Some that we're friends with both on and off site know everything about us. We even had a couple of fabbers at our wedding.

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

I’m an underwater wood welder now. Got the sack bricklaying at Legoland.

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By *r_BigHeadMan
over a year ago

The Naughty Step (aka Northampton)

"If anyone asks I just say I'm a Transponster

Can’t tell if this is supposed to say trainspotter, transporter, or trans pornstar. "

I'll give you a clue-

There is a friends quote for every situation lol

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By *223mMan
over a year ago

Thame/ Leeds and Manchester

I like finding out, I think knowing what someone does is fascinating, also just in general quite like getting to know someone and that's part of it I suppose

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