FabSwingers.com forum: Your thoughts on winking..

By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

So.. winks, are they just plain lazy or a polite time saver for all involved? Genuinely curious to here all thoughts?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I don't ever look at who's winked me, so they're not much of way of showing interest as far as I'm concerned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us they’re pointless because we hardly ever look at them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They work for some, and I’ve met some lovely people from just a wink.

They’re hated by some, and I’ve been blocked after being called lazy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't wink others because I assume that if they're inundated with messages, the number of winks are even worse!

I do state in my profile though that if they're interested, to send me a wink so that at least I know interest is there before sending a message so that the effort to send the first message isn't wasted

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By *prilSubTV/TS
over a year ago

I appreciate a wink. I look at them from time to time and it's nice to see who is interested without having to receive a message off everyone.

I appreciate that people don't look at theirs sometimes so I don't often send them but I have no problem receiving them.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

'hear' all thoughts ??

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

[Removed by poster at 05/06/23 20:57:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Peak moves.

It's harmless, I don't get the back lash half the time.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I don't ever look at who's winked me, so they're not much of way of showing interest as far as I'm concerned

"
fair enough

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"Never look"
..I think most don't:/

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"So.. winks, are they just plain lazy or a polite time saver for all involved? Genuinely curious to hear all thoughts? "

I don’t look at them, OP. And I’m a boy! On fab!! I know, right!!!

It conjures up an image of people at the other end scrolling through profiles and pinging off winks to every dick, dick and dicky.

Send me a message! It doesn’t have to be award winning prose, just something nice and/or funny that will make me think you’re interested in me specifically.

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

We like the wink system as in we do it to show interest it's easier then sending pictures etc to just be deleted if we wink & then they wink back we send a message.Lot less rubbish in our inbox.

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

I like them, its a nice way of saying im interested and if they wink back its a good ice breaker.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"For us they’re pointless because we hardly ever look at them. "
sure, I get that

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"They work for some, and I’ve met some lovely people from just a wink.

They’re hated by some, and I’ve been blocked after being called lazy.

"
nicely done that man.. and I'm sure you're not lazy!

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By *ussyslave4youMan
over a year ago

corby

When someone winks, it usually means they want to chat ive found

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I don't wink others because I assume that if they're inundated with messages, the number of winks are even worse!

"
That's a very good point, I also admire your approach!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guessing just like messages it depends on how many winks you get. If you are inundated you won't bother looking at many if any. If your profile is only ever occupied with tumble then you'll check every fabbed photo, wink, last viewed and all of the local updates

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I appreciate a wink. I look at them from time to time and it's nice to see who is interested without having to receive a message off everyone.

I appreciate that people don't look at theirs sometimes so I don't often send them but I have no problem receiving them. "
Good to know, thanks for the input!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"Peak moves.

It's harmless, I don't get the back lash half the time."
Yeah.. can be a bit harsh at times!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"So.. winks, are they just plain lazy or a polite time saver for all involved? Genuinely curious to hear all thoughts?

I don’t look at them, OP. And I’m a boy! On fab!! I know, right!!!

It conjures up an image of people at the other end scrolling through profiles and pinging off winks to every dick, dick and dicky.

Send me a message! It doesn’t have to be award winning prose, just something nice and/or funny that will make me think you’re interested in me specifically."
Haha, a both amusing and informative response! Cheers

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"We like the wink system as in we do it to show interest it's easier then sending pictures etc to just be deleted if we wink & then they wink back we send a message.Lot less rubbish in our inbox.

"
So kind of like a filter system? I suppose that would be the potential time saving element

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They go ignored, sometimes intentionally, but mostly unintentionally

I find it hard to ignore the big yellow message box, but the wink box doesn't stand out and is hidden in the middle of the dashboard

So, I often miss them

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I like them, its a nice way of saying im interested and if they wink back its a good ice breaker.

"
I tend to agree, but it seems like most things it's a numbers game. Will a message over a wink increase your odds.. or not?

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"When someone winks, it usually means they want to chat ive found"
tends to be the way right!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve currently got 554 new winks…. So no, I don’t look at them

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By *ainbowSonicCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I do appreciate a wink as it shows they've looked at my profile, then I look into their profile and if I do like the look of it, I wink back and vice versa. Then it gives them the opportunity to message me to which I always reply back to, yes I am one of the few that will actually genuinely reply back if you are for me or not. I don't like to leave people hanging. If they tell me they're not interested in me, I do appreciate the honesty and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waste of time. Don't look at them. Don't send them.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I'm guessing just like messages it depends on how many winks you get. If you are inundated you won't bother looking at many if any. If your profile is only ever occupied with tumble then you'll check every fabbed photo, wink, last viewed and all of the local updates

"
Yep, I agree very much a numbers game!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We like the wink system as in we do it to show interest it's easier then sending pictures etc to just be deleted if we wink & then they wink back we send a message.Lot less rubbish in our inbox.

I like the wink system in terms of receiving (but do not send them as assume women ate inundated). I forget to look so it comes as a surprise when I spot one and reply days later, but I do appreciate them.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We just bulk delete them but we do state this in our profile to save people wasting their time.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"They go ignored, sometimes intentionally, but mostly unintentionally

I find it hard to ignore the big yellow message box, but the wink box doesn't stand out and is hidden in the middle of the dashboard

So, I often miss them "
I think with most guys your eyes initially dart to the inbox followed by a quick scan of the remaining screen.. nope, nothing to see here folks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't respond to them nor do I send any anymore.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I wink people I like in the hope that they’ll message me. If they wink me back, we’re at stalemate because I won’t message them first (if I wanted to do that, I wouldn’t have winked)

I don’t check my winks though

Total double standards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't ever look at them once in awhile I delete them all along with friend invites. X

I really don't see the point in them.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I’ve currently got 554 new winks…. So no, I don’t look at them

"
That's actually very insightful thanks. How long would it normally take to accumulate such a high number of winks?

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

I think they’re for lazy people. People use them because they expect you to take the initiative because they can’t be arsed to be a little inventive.

I imagine they’re used by someone trawling the profiles and using as little effort as possible to attract attention.

When I have replied to winks I get either a monosyllabic conversation that goes nowhere or, more usually, nothing at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve currently got 554 new winks…. So no, I don’t look at them

That's actually very insightful thanks. How long would it normally take to accumulate such a high number of winks?

Ooh erm at a guess I’d say a good 4 weeks since I last looked?

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I do appreciate a wink as it shows they've looked at my profile, then I look into their profile and if I do like the look of it, I wink back and vice versa. Then it gives them the opportunity to message me to which I always reply back to, yes I am one of the few that will actually genuinely reply back if you are for me or not. I don't like to leave people hanging. If they tell me they're not interested in me, I do appreciate the honesty and move on. "
High 5 rainbow! Although no one is obligated to respond and I appreciate many can't, it's always appreciated when people politely decline.. well at least it is for me!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"Waste of time. Don't look at them. Don't send them."
Fair enough!

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Depends if people look at them, I get winked and don't realise sometimes but I'll message when I see it if I'm interested.

Some people say don't wink in their bio, if it doesn't say that then wink if you want but it's unlikely to be noticed if they never look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s worked several times for me

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"We like the wink system as in we do it to show interest it's easier then sending pictures etc to just be deleted if we wink & then they wink back we send a message.Lot less rubbish in our inbox.

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By *eelGoodIncMan
over a year ago

Mids

I genuinely don't think it's for lazy people. As a lone male on here it's seriously difficult to even get a message you've sent read and this can sometimes result in a lack of confidence sending the first message. I've met a few couples that have said they use the wink system when they're looking for single men. I've had some wonderful meets with some wonderful people over the years I've been on and off of here just from sending a simple wink.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"We just bulk delete them but we do state this in our profile to save people wasting their time."
Can't argue with that.. especially if it's there in writing!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I don't respond to them nor do I send any anymore."
Fair enough

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I wink people I like in the hope that they’ll message me. If they wink me back, we’re at stalemate because I won’t message them first (if I wanted to do that, I wouldn’t have winked)

I don’t check my winks though

Total double standards

"
Haha, I'm sure many have a similar approach!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve currently got 554 new winks…. So no, I don’t look at them

555 just to annoy you.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I don't ever look at them once in awhile I delete them all along with friend invites. X

I really don't see the point in them. "
It's your choice afterall, thanks for the input!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I think they’re for lazy people. People use them because they expect you to take the initiative because they can’t be arsed to be a little inventive.

I imagine they’re used by someone trawling the profiles and using as little effort as possible to attract attention.

When I have replied to winks I get either a monosyllabic conversation that goes nowhere or, more usually, nothing at all. "
Ok, interesting to hear your experience. Thanks for the input

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By *mp411Man
over a year ago

chester

Or perhaps people use wink’s because they can’t handle the constant rejection or their messages not being read/deleted especially if they had spent time composing a fantastic message just for it to be ignored

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I’ve currently got 554 new winks…. So no, I don’t look at them

That's actually very insightful thanks. How long would it normally take to accumulate such a high number of winks?

Ooh erm at a guess I’d say a good 4 weeks since I last looked?"
Wow, ok.. think I've had 4 this year! Oh well, you have to laugh!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"Depends if people look at them, I get winked and don't realise sometimes but I'll message when I see it if I'm interested.

Some people say don't wink in their bio, if it doesn't say that then wink if you want but it's unlikely to be noticed if they never look"
Yep, fair point!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"It’s worked several times for me

"
Glad to hear it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm OK with laziness -- laziness is just an intelligent way of doing less work.

At least that's what I keep telling myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a couples profile, I prefer winks as i then look at their profile to decide whether or not to send a message or not.

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By *rincipessaWoman
over a year ago

your wildest dreams,

I never look at them, I know they work for some people though

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By *KloganMan
over a year ago

Ramsbottom

I’m really not that pretentious about winks.. i might browse a profile I really like, appreciate some lovely photos and fire over a wink as a token of appreciation.. not because I want to sleep with that person but because their profile is ace..

Once you stop caring if your wink is looked at or even acted upon then it’s a better place to be..

I don’t really care if you look at it or not, I sent it and that’s all that really matters to me. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy and that’s a good thing for my soul.

Winks are good..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a wink! I tend to send more than I receive! It gives a good indication if someone is interested or not and whether to take things further or not.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"Or perhaps people use wink’s because they can’t handle the constant rejection or their messages not being read/deleted especially if they had spent time composing a fantastic message just for it to be ignored "
Oh yes, been there a fair few times myself. We just have to remind ourselves of the sheer numbers involved and know not to take it personally. It's why I usually wink first, no response - no need to message - we have all saved some time with our dignity intact!

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By *an hjCouple
over a year ago

Stowmarket

I look, but never respond.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I genuinely don't think it's for lazy people. As a lone male on here it's seriously difficult to even get a message you've sent read and this can sometimes result in a lack of confidence sending the first message. I've met a few couples that have said they use the wink system when they're looking for single men. I've had some wonderful meets with some wonderful people over the years I've been on and off of here just from sending a simple wink."
Glad the winks have worked for you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am too lazy to check them.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I'm OK with laziness -- laziness is just an intelligent way of doing less work.

At least that's what I keep telling myself

"
An awesome code to live by!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"As a couples profile, I prefer winks as i then look at their profile to decide whether or not to send a message or not.

Insightful, thanks for the input!

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

If I get a wink and the person has a blank profile it's pretty pointless but if there's a decent profile to look through I see it as an invite to have a look and often do.

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By *ebootCouple
over a year ago

Telford

We gave up on the wink system a long time ago, in all the years we’ve been on here, can’t ever recall a wink actually leading to anything.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I never look at them, I know they work for some people though"
fair enough.. yeah I guess some people have more luck winking than others!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I’m really not that pretentious about winks.. i might browse a profile I really like, appreciate some lovely photos and fire over a wink as a token of appreciation.. not because I want to sleep with that person but because their profile is ace..

Once you stop caring if your wink is looked at or even acted upon then it’s a better place to be..

I don’t really care if you look at it or not, I sent it and that’s all that really matters to me. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy and that’s a good thing for my soul.

Winks are good.. "
. Awesome response! I'm glad they have that effect on you!

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By *yway60Man
over a year ago

Gamlingay

"So.. winks, are they just plain lazy or a polite time saver for all involved? Genuinely curious to here all thoughts? "

I'd like to wink at you but it seems I cant

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I love a wink! I tend to send more than I receive! It gives a good indication if someone is interested or not and whether to take things further or not.

Yep, I can go with that!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I look, but never respond."
Fair enough!

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Just a polite hello or showing interest

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I am too lazy to check them.

T"
and probably too overwhelmed with them to begin!

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Just a polite hello or showing interest

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"If I get a wink and the person has a blank profile it's pretty pointless but if there's a decent profile to look through I see it as an invite to have a look and often do. "
That's reassuring, cheers!

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I never look at them, I don't have time to go through half of my actual messages nevermind winks. I am not really sure of the point of them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lazy. Just send a message of you think you are a good match

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By *nigmaschild300Man
over a year ago

dunfermline

It might vary from hetero to bi homo.

I use the wink function like I would using a cruise on gay apps. They work the same way , it hints interest, if the interest is mutual then a message usually follows.

Works for me anyway

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"We gave up on the wink system a long time ago, in all the years we’ve been on here, can’t ever recall a wink actually leading to anything. "
Well if they haven't worked for you why would you waste your time, rhetorical question!

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

I like winks, I send one back if I like the profile of the person who has sent me one or I'll send a msg, and I send them first if I see a profile I like. I do forget to look at them tho so I usually go through them quickly before bulk deleting.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"So.. winks, are they just plain lazy or a polite time saver for all involved? Genuinely curious to here all thoughts?

I'd like to wink at you but it seems I cant"
I take your wink through here sir! Many thanks!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"Just a polite hello or showing interest"
Well that's how I tend to look at it!

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

They are the same as likes

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I never look at them, I don't have time to go through half of my actual messages nevermind winks. I am not really sure of the point of them? "
Too many winks, not enough hours right? No it's cool I get it

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I get the occasional wink, I don’t pay much attention to them because typically if I wink back nothing further happens. I’m not sure if a wink is ever really a serious invitation for more interaction, to be honest.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"Lazy. Just send a message of you think you are a good match"
so be more selective in your messaging? Ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am too lazy to check them.

T and probably too overwhelmed with them to begin!

Our profile says - no winks, no ad hoc meets, no random friend requests so land has been laid out. If you didn't read it you have no right to be upset about lack of reply.

And yes the admin can be overwhelming so I guess everyone makes some sort of cuts here and there. What kind of - its up to them. You can't spread yourself too thin.

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"It might vary from hetero to bi homo.

I use the wink function like I would using a cruise on gay apps. They work the same way , it hints interest, if the interest is mutual then a message usually follows.

Works for me anyway"
glad it's working for you!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I like winks, I send one back if I like the profile of the person who has sent me one or I'll send a msg, and I send them first if I see a profile I like. I do forget to look at them tho so I usually go through them quickly before bulk deleting."
I like your approach, can't argue with that!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"They are the same as likes"
Pretty much I guess!

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I get the occasional wink, I don’t pay much attention to them because typically if I wink back nothing further happens. I’m not sure if a wink is ever really a serious invitation for more interaction, to be honest."
Thanks for sharing your experience

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By *urrey Special OP Man
over a year ago

Chertsey

"I am too lazy to check them.

T and probably too overwhelmed with them to begin!

Our profile says - no winks, no ad hoc meets, no random friend requests so land has been laid out. If you didn't read it you have no right to be upset about lack of reply.

And yes the admin can be overwhelming so I guess everyone makes some sort of cuts here and there. What kind of - its up to them. You can't spread yourself too thin.

T"
absolutely, if it's there in writing then there's no need to feel disappointed

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