FabSwingers.com forum: Not meeting currently?

By *coobyBoobyDoo OP Woman
over a year ago

Markfield

I’ve got “not meeting currently” in my profile, usually it’s just ignored and I get messages asking to meet regardless but over this weekend I’ve had several messages from guys complaining that I’ve got this as part of my profile. Along the lines of “oh what a surprise a woman not meeting at the moment”. What’s that all about? Am I the arsehole for having it in my profile or are they for calling me on it?

I don’t want to hide my profile completely because I do still want to meet new people online and chat and line up some future meets but I don’t want people to message thinking I’m available to meet here and now and possibly not even this week / month.

What are the thoughts of the forumites please you lovely varied fabber dabblers?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Close your message filters and they can't message

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

No you're not the arsehole op,you've been upfront - it smacks to me of sour grapes .

Maybe tighten up your filters toe reduce your mail ,I filter by age ,no pics ,no couples & no newbies.

Anyone is free to use fab as they wish ,as long as they're not hurting anyone.

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By *am_LincolnMan
over a year ago

Prestatyn

You are not the arsehole. Too many people have too much entitlement. They clearly can't respect boundaries. That's on them not you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"….. Am I the arsehole for having it in my profile or are they for calling me on it? ….

Both.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I’ve got “not meeting currently” in my profile, usually it’s just ignored and I get messages asking to meet regardless but over this weekend I’ve had several messages from guys complaining that I’ve got this as part of my profile. Along the lines of “oh what a surprise a woman not meeting at the moment”. What’s that all about? Am I the arsehole for having it in my profile or are they for calling me on it?

What are the thoughts of the forumites please you lovely varied fabber dabblers? "

Meh just block all men. Lol! That works for me.

I can still talk to the ones I actually want to message but weirdos and time-wasters can't get through.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Close your message filters and they can't message "

Yep this. Don't reply to messages, close your filters. You'll be fine.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

You get to choose what you are here for. Simples.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It's your profile to do what you want with, if I had it on mine and got messages saying that, I'd probably reply with "what makes you think I'd meet you anyway"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, us dudes get it too oddly enough lol

I was offered cash today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not.. it’s your profile to do so as you please. We sometimes put that up too when we want a break but still like to chat.

Just ingnore them and do what suits you

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

What are the thoughts of the forumites please you lovely varied fabber dabblers? "

Oh this one's a simple answer; BLOCK the fool!

This is a multifaceted lifestyle site. It's not tinder. Its not just about instant hookups. We rarely meet people off here. Too little time for messing around, much prefer meet people in clubs in the real world. However we use it a lot to stay in touch, look out for parties/clubs/events, the forums and to perve. And if anyone wants to give us shit for that they can get blocked too

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By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over

Of course you’re not an arsehole xx

People complain when there’s not enough info and then when someone explicitly informs, because it’s not what sone want to read, they get all uppity!

Why can’t people just be nice xx. Guys showing their true colours I guess so at least you know who to block and not to message

Block and filters seems to be the way xx

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I also have mentioned in my profile I'm not able to meet at present.but even me being an old man still get asked to meet and it's mostly men asking. They can't even read the bit about me being straight

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

"You are not the arsehole. Too many people have too much entitlement. They clearly can't respect boundaries. That's on them not you."

Agree with this. You have your reasons and if people can't respect that, says a lot about them.

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By *hortishblondeWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"You are not the arsehole. Too many people have too much entitlement. They clearly can't respect boundaries. That's on them not you.

I agree

Agree with this. You have your reasons and if people can't respect that, says a lot about them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are the thoughts of the forumites please you lovely varied fabber dabblers? "

They're just trying to start a conversation.

For some people negative attention is better than no attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have it stated that we're currently unavailable, even mentioned in our most recent picture, so it's the first thing anyone sees, if they're to head straight to pictures.

Generally, it's worked, messages have dropped massively, but there's still those that ignore.

Thankfully we've not had the type of message you mention, OP.

There's no read to reply to such, just block them.

I hope it doesn't ruin your time on the site.

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By *adyx4Woman
over a year ago

Durham

I’m in the same position as yourself and I’ve had to change the heading and update the first paragraph of my profile.

I think you are just being upfront and honest, but unfortunately some people either ignore it or see if as a challenge!

I’ll also be taking onboard some of the great advice given here

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Close your message filters and they can't message

Yep this. Don't reply to messages, close your filters. You'll be fine.

But we shouldn't have to.

Ours is pretty clear as to when people should/shouldn't enquire about meets and yet every week we get asked if we're looking to meet tonight/this weekend/now.

We just use it as a filter and it's a guaranteed way to get blocked. If people can't understand the words we've written on a page then what hope is there that they'd be suitable company!

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By *ORBCouple
over a year ago

Dundalk

We are not meeting currently and clearly say so at the top of our profile.

We both have single profiles and it's written there as well and it's nobody's business why.

We get very few messages, probably less than 30 in total since we created this account 9 or 10 months ago but had a repeat message recently and replied to draw their attention to this fact and also that the scenarios he suggested in his message are not things we are interested in and in fact that is also clearly stated in our bio.

His response to that was to say oh you one of those type!.

Just before he blocked us.

We still have no idea what one of those types are but we aren't losing any sleep over it.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

It does sound like entitlement and an arrogance that they can control how you use the site.

I can never understand the mindset of someone who thinks sending that type of message, will In someone way be seen as a reasonable response to what they’ve read on your profile.

Yes you could tighten your filters but why should you ? If they don’t like what they’ve seen they should move on, not complain as if you’re selling them a service by being here.

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By *razzyhorseMan
over a year ago

cambridge

If they can respect your honesty & circumstances, then they can't be worth consideration what your situation changes and you available.

Look at it as a positive thing. Gets rid of a lot of wasted time and assholes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each of us uses fab in our own way and for our own reasons, so don't let anyone criticise you for having that on your profile.

Says more about them and their sense of entitlement.

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By *coobyBoobyDoo OP Woman
over a year ago

Markfield

Thanks everyone! Except maybe WoodyB

My filters are pretty vast and my block button used freely in the main but good to know I’m pretty standard in my approach with those and also with explaining up front about not meeting. Thanks also for verbalising about the entitled sentiment, I hadn’t really thought of it like that but it totally makes sense.

These things always grate more when tired I find so I’m off to bed for an earlyish night after a busy couple of days at work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not been meeting for the last few years and don't intend to meet for the foreseeable but I don't have that on my profile. If anyone asks I just tell them no thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confused ...you're saying men actually read the profile ? Most don't...or should I say those I've encountered.

not the asshole OP , the entitled whiners are.

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By *ustincamebridgeCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We have it on our profile. Its there for a reason and that reason is is personal

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I may have to try this to see if I get messages from the opposite sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the best skill to learn on here is how to completely ignore messages and their content. It is difficult and many can make you spiky if you let them. But especially if you dont want to meet anyway, there's no need to read them. I tend to keep most filters open too even when not meeting but quite simply do not engage. Unless its forum people. Or others I know. Or someone that says something great

but you get the idea.

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By *ornyscot777TV/TS
over a year ago

SCOTLAND

Seems some folk feel ‘entitled’ and expect to get whatever they want and if not they become the ‘arsehole’ not you!

Your profile, up to you to decide whatever you want to do and fuckall to do with anyone else.

Enjoy

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By *ulldog_71Man
over a year ago

Sedgefield

Unfortunately a high percentage of the men on here are dickheads just remember it's their problem not yours and use the block button.

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By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon

I could give you a very good perspective on why men do it so let’s meet up and we can discuss it over coffee…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just want to see the world burn, and if not someone else more upset than them means they are winning at life, it’s the old ‘ I watch Jeremy Kyle because it makes me feel better about my life ‘ syndrome …. Which is probably a thing but I haven’t found anything close to it yet other than ‘incels’ and that’s a can of worms right there, basically some people feel the need to be happy, they think that comes from ‘getting’ what they want, when they have forgotten the main task in life is to ‘be’ who you want to be, that’s inner happiness right there, what the whiny little bastards are doing is trying to dump their own failings on someone else, you could troll them back before blocking them with a link for an over size button plug so they can fuck themselves, or you could send them a link for a good book on Amazon you think might help them, and then block them, if they are stupid then they have just trolled, if they are two brain cells and above they will realise the subtleties and think hold on I’m being told something about myself which I have avoided realising…. The greatest enemy you will ever face will hide in the last place you ever look ….. Caesar (way back a long time ago but he ain’t wrong)

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Block men for a bit.

When you are ready, unblock them again.

Delete all if you dont want to answer messages and Never take things that strangers say about you on the internet to heart!

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

What are the thoughts of the forumites please you lovely varied fabber dabblers? "

Your profile, your rules. If they winge ignore them!

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

Your profile OP, use fab however you want to its got nothing to do with anyone else.

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By *awg-mo-thoinWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Yes I called someone out on this the other day where they had posted a status moaning about people who are on this site but never meet.

…and what!?

People can use this site however they wish. For some people chatting in the forums or posting a cheeky pic is as far as they want to go. For others it’s an 8 man gangbang of a Monday evening. Different folks different strokes and all that.

Just reeks of entitlement and honestly, you have to feel sad for someone who is so caught up in their rage about not meeting people that they can’t conceive of anyone enjoying Fab for other purposes.

Anyway. If we want to start splitting hairs about what does and doesn’t constitute legitimate use of the site I’d have a few bones to pick with the guys who think inviting women to give a 30 second handjob in their car while they’ve told their poor wife they’re nipping to the shops makes them a swinger

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

On the rare occasion I've had not meeting and filters open, I've been told I'm on the wrong site and I should get off it.

It's not you, it's them. They want what they want and they think that if they chastise you for being wrong, you'll give them what they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are the thoughts of the forumites please you lovely varied fabber dabblers? "

It's weird isn't it, you be up front and get bother, you don't say it then get bother. Ah well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you delete Men off your Looking For list it takes you off the searches.

Then men don't waste time looking.

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