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"I always find "genuine" a weird word to pop up in a lot of messages. It never precedes a different word, just stands alone. I think people act as if it's some form of self verification but it's so vague. "don't worry I'm genuine" Oh in that case sure let's meet. You should have said earlier that you're "genuine". Until you cleared me of all doubt I thought perhaps you were a spectre or a papier mache puppet but now I see you're real. " Along with professional and discreet, all the fab buzz words ![]() | |||
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" So, what does it look like for you? Are you authentic?…" I dunno anymore. Even if someone is putting on an act, are they being authentic because that’s the type of person they are? I just enjoy people who are real and don’t play games. But authentic normally means are they true to what they say, rather then “I’m a nice guy/girl” in front of everyone, but you know different. | |||
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"I hope I got the meaning right but what you see is what you get…." Yeah, I think that's what's meant generally. In terms of businesses providing an authentic experience, it's an odd word in my mind. Maybe not in the hospitality sector. It's popped up in two emails this morning and a few chats with friends so I'm pondering on screen. ![]() | |||
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"I’d say I am as much as I can be. This thread makes me think of Goffman and his presentation of self - are you ever your true self in the presence of others? " Short answer: No Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo | |||
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"I’d say I am as much as I can be. This thread makes me think of Goffman and his presentation of self - are you ever your true self in the presence of others? Short answer: No Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I think we all have different versions of ourselves for different situations/people, so I don't think anyone can be 100% authentic 100% of the time. What I mean by that is the me that my boss sees is different to the me that my closest friends see. Are both versions the true me? Absolutely. But they're edited versions of me, not the whole package. " I was going to say something like this to start off with but couldn't be arsed to be challenged by the "I'm 100% of me all the time and they can like it or lump it because it's who I am" brigade. | |||
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"I think we all have different versions of ourselves for different situations/people, so I don't think anyone can be 100% authentic 100% of the time. What I mean by that is the me that my boss sees is different to the me that my closest friends see. Are both versions the true me? Absolutely. But they're edited versions of me, not the whole package. I was going to say something like this to start off with but couldn't be arsed to be challenged by the "I'm 100% of me all the time and they can like it or lump it because it's who I am" brigade." I know them ![]() | |||
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"I don't think I'm genuinely authentic to everyone I meet. We all have insecurities that we can hide and parts of our personality we don't show and I do exactly that, maybe out of fear of overwhelming them and scaring them away." But is not showing all of us to everyone inauthentic? I'm not sure. I think it's human to not reveal our insecurities - we don't want to push people away, make ourselves potentially vulnerable. And different people bring out different elements of who we are, based on the dynamic we have with them. | |||
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"I think we all have different versions of ourselves for different situations/people, so I don't think anyone can be 100% authentic 100% of the time. What I mean by that is the me that my boss sees is different to the me that my closest friends see. Are both versions the true me? Absolutely. But they're edited versions of me, not the whole package. I was going to say something like this to start off with but couldn't be arsed to be challenged by the "I'm 100% of me all the time and they can like it or lump it because it's who I am" brigade. I know them ![]() Exactly, and that's ironically not authentic because it's impossible to do that ![]() | |||
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"Being authentic. Having authenticity. It's popping up a lot more in my life currently - even on emails sent before a sensible time. I think it might be the new buzzword. So, what does it look like for you? Are you authentic? Is it an important trait in your eyes?" Used in the context to which elude, it is a complete nonsense, unless I’ve completely got the wrong end of the stick. Everyone of us is our authentic self. If you put up a facade to mask some part of your self, then that is you being you, because that’s what you do to deal with things. If you present yourself bare, warts’n’ all, then that is you being you. As I say it’s one of the growing list of terms that I put in the ‘bollocks speak’ category. | |||
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"I always find "genuine" a weird word to pop up in a lot of messages. It never precedes a different word, just stands alone. I think people act as if it's some form of self verification but it's so vague. "don't worry I'm genuine" Oh in that case sure let's meet. You should have said earlier that you're "genuine". Until you cleared me of all doubt I thought perhaps you were a spectre or a papier mache puppet but now I see you're real. " ![]() | |||
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"I don't think I'm genuinely authentic to everyone I meet. We all have insecurities that we can hide and parts of our personality we don't show and I do exactly that, maybe out of fear of overwhelming them and scaring them away. But is not showing all of us to everyone inauthentic? I'm not sure. I think it's human to not reveal our insecurities - we don't want to push people away, make ourselves potentially vulnerable. And different people bring out different elements of who we are, based on the dynamic we have with them. " That's a good point, I suppose it's impossible to show all of yourself to one person if you meet them for the first time so the authiticity reveals itself over a number of meetings? It also raises an interesting question where if you don't like someone, is it inauthentic to be civil and nice to their face while still hating them with a burning passion? | |||
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"I don't think I'm genuinely authentic to everyone I meet. We all have insecurities that we can hide and parts of our personality we don't show and I do exactly that, maybe out of fear of overwhelming them and scaring them away. But is not showing all of us to everyone inauthentic? I'm not sure. I think it's human to not reveal our insecurities - we don't want to push people away, make ourselves potentially vulnerable. And different people bring out different elements of who we are, based on the dynamic we have with them. That's a good point, I suppose it's impossible to show all of yourself to one person if you meet them for the first time so the authiticity reveals itself over a number of meetings? It also raises an interesting question where if you don't like someone, is it inauthentic to be civil and nice to their face while still hating them with a burning passion?" The one word I always associate with 'authentic' is consistency. Because the lack of the latter makes the former complete bullshit. A | |||
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"I’m a true version of myself on here. But I can’t explain it but have you ever met someone say at work and just been a more comfortable version of yourself? Because of familiarity and stuff? I can’t explain it but sometimes I am being a version of myself and then I meet someone and I’m more the version I am ‘at home’. I am especially guilty of worrying about being disliked and I’m sure that alters how I am and what parts of me I don’t show. Especially in the forums with the people that are in here. To what extent can any of us be our real selves in here? And to what extent is being your full real self safe in a space like this? Blah blah more to say but cba anymore ![]() Why can't we be out true selves on the forums? Whatever that maybe on any given day. Which fir me my true authentic self changes day by day, even moment by moment, I accept whatever version I may be of my self... | |||
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"I’m a true version of myself on here. But I can’t explain it but have you ever met someone say at work and just been a more comfortable version of yourself? Because of familiarity and stuff? I can’t explain it but sometimes I am being a version of myself and then I meet someone and I’m more the version I am ‘at home’. I am especially guilty of worrying about being disliked and I’m sure that alters how I am and what parts of me I don’t show. Especially in the forums with the people that are in here. To what extent can any of us be our real selves in here? And to what extent is being your full real self safe in a space like this? Blah blah more to say but cba anymore ![]() My feelings on that reason would derail the thread a bit so won’t get into it in here. I think it’s good that you can be yourself in here though fr | |||
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"I’m a true version of myself on here. But I can’t explain it but have you ever met someone say at work and just been a more comfortable version of yourself? Because of familiarity and stuff? I can’t explain it but sometimes I am being a version of myself and then I meet someone and I’m more the version I am ‘at home’. I am especially guilty of worrying about being disliked and I’m sure that alters how I am and what parts of me I don’t show. Especially in the forums with the people that are in here. To what extent can any of us be our real selves in here? And to what extent is being your full real self safe in a space like this? Blah blah more to say but cba anymore ![]() True authenticity would be acknowledging those feelings, and expressing them on the thread. However, on the flip side It can be argued that your being authentic by having that self awareness, that if i say that it'll derail the thread... | |||
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"It definitely is a restaurant/pub related buzzword right now! In terms of people being authentic, I guess for me I equate it with not trying to be something you're not. I'm comfortable with only showing parts of yourself to people in different situations - home, work, friends, fab - and I don't consider that to be inauthentic. But deliberately misrepresenting yourself I would view as not being authentic. Mrs TMN x" Isn't it just? The amount of authentic dining experiences... no. Yes, I guess deliberately misrepresenting yourself isn't being authentic. We're all multifaceted, prone to fickleness, to having different moods day to day. I'm loathe to say someone is inauthentic because it feels like an unnecessarily damning judgment - how can I make that snap judgement? I guess intentionally putting on a facade that's far from the truth? Or lying. Even then it's not a clear line. | |||
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"Being authentic is a tricky one in this world, I would say that nobody truly is. We all have times where we hide certain traits to fit the 'norm' or bow to pressure to behave in a way that's acceptable to most of society. Even our values can be tested in certain situations and I'm sure there's been occasions where all of us haven't been completely honest or accepted responsibility for things we should have. Being true to yourself yes but being authentic is a myth we tell ourselves in my opinion." ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Oh I talk a lot about this. It never occurred to me it might piss people off. When in vanilla dating I used to talk about how honesty was a deal breaker for me. About a year and a half ago a conversation made me change my mind on that. Yes I want people to be honest with me but actually I want them to be honest with themselves just as much. Sometimes life requires you to or you make a decision to conceal some things in some situations or act in a different way with different people. But I want to be around people that self aware enough to understand why they are doing it. Being true to your core morals, values and being self aware enough to recognise why you are making decisions feels like being authentic to me. And I am here for that. However let's not forget that both honesty and authenticity can be a privilege. Not everyone is safe enough or secure enough to even consider if they are or are not being authentic. " You write so beautifully Amber, it's good to see you posting more on here. I don't think there's anything wrong with talking about. Far from it. If something is important to you, why not talk about it? I'm going to reserve the right to be unamused by poor marketing strategies though, for reasons.:D I love the way you've discussed it - a lot of it resonates with my beliefs on it. Honesty and authenticity is a privilege, you're right. Sometimes I'm quick to forget that but perhaps, even with my ND way of processing, I should remember that and offer grace more oft. | |||
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"This is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, mainly because there are several important aspects of my life that I don’t share or communicate with other people in my day to day existence. I haven’t shared my sexuality or that I’m poly with my children, I haven’t shared my sexuality or the gender of my partner with people at work. At the moment I’m stuck between ‘need to know’ and living my choices authentically " I don't think that not telling them is not being authentic. You are entitled to privacy. If during a conversation on polyamory or sexuality you criticised the things that you are - that would be inauthentic. Those are my feelings on it anyway. J | |||
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"Being authentic. Having authenticity. It's popping up a lot more in my life currently - even on emails sent before a sensible time. I think it might be the new buzzword. So, what does it look like for you? Are you authentic? Is it an important trait in your eyes?" From a business/organisational point of veiw I totally cringed out of the ball park. Even the talk of authenticity would set my Bull shit meter off the scale. Form an individual point of veiw I just take people as I find them. For me however they come to me is authentic because the very model of how they represent is them. No one presents with purity because we all present a little as something adulterated, deliberately or subconsciously, mainly both. But that is us, that is in a way authentic and why I kind of find the idea of authentic to be Bull shit, irrelevant. Just accept people aren't pure and work them out for yourself because no one can be purely authentic. And likewise although it's good to self examine and identify flaws you can really get yourself wrapped up in a cycle of over thinking and questioning yourself. It's harmful. Don't worry too much about being authentic or whatever. Just live life and be accepting and forgiving of yourself. Do self abuse in a cycle of questioning your real self. Your self is you. Even for example your someone who masks a lot subconsciously (life myself) that still you. Your not fake, you are real, it's part of you. Mr | |||
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"Oh I talk a lot about this. It never occurred to me it might piss people off. When in vanilla dating I used to talk about how honesty was a deal breaker for me. About a year and a half ago a conversation made me change my mind on that. Yes I want people to be honest with me but actually I want them to be honest with themselves just as much. Sometimes life requires you to or you make a decision to conceal some things in some situations or act in a different way with different people. But I want to be around people that self aware enough to understand why they are doing it. Being true to your core morals, values and being self aware enough to recognise why you are making decisions feels like being authentic to me. And I am here for that. However let's not forget that both honesty and authenticity can be a privilege. Not everyone is safe enough or secure enough to even consider if they are or are not being authentic. You write so beautifully Amber, it's good to see you posting more on here. I don't think there's anything wrong with talking about. Far from it. If something is important to you, why not talk about it? I'm going to reserve the right to be unamused by poor marketing strategies though, for reasons.:D I love the way you've discussed it - a lot of it resonates with my beliefs on it. Honesty and authenticity is a privilege, you're right. Sometimes I'm quick to forget that but perhaps, even with my ND way of processing, I should remember that and offer grace more oft." Thank you Meli. I have a habit of using 5 words where one will do though. Off to find an authentic pizza now. Hopefully it will be true to itself. | |||
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