FabSwingers.com forum: Two sides to a story.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

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By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon

I always say I will wait until I’ve heard the others version first and then I say who cares….

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By *m272Woman
over a year ago

London

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

no i dont always believe thats what they are stories,, do like to hear both sides

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth"

What if I can't handle the truth?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

No I find out for myself gossip can be so destructive! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Not when it’s politicians.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on who is telling the story.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

I generally take people as I find them. I will listen to what I'm told if it's someone I trust but I like to make my own mind up about people.

Getting the other side of the story isn't always possible, sometimes you just have to trust what you've told is the truth.

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By *m272Woman
over a year ago

London

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth

What if I can't handle the truth?"

Form your own narrative and run with it....privately though lol

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By *ellardnorthamptonMan
over a year ago

northampton

Always make up my own mind on people.as say there 2 sides to a story and the person is only telling there side

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Naaa chinese whispers is a real game that could blow up the universe much easier to learn to speak horse and get it from the mouth

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

"no i dont always believe thats what they are stories,, do like to hear both sides"

Sadly getting both sides to give honest responses & knowing they are being honest is the challenge.

As someone else commented, Politicians will lie or divert any question from giving an honest answer.

Sometimes you have to make a judgement yourself with the info you have.

Not sure the Jury is out on Jimmy Saville yet he's not given a defence.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I don’t gossip.

I don’t listen to gossip.

I do like to blink though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely the narrative of the story is equally important?

Everyone is guilty at times of telling a story which paints themselves in a better light and quite frankly unless you was there you wouldn't really know the truth.

I don't judge people on tales of there history but more on there behaviour of the now and how I'm interacting with them

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Keeping it within the walls of fab I've been told lots of stories about people I've never spoken to or in some cases have never heard of.

That's because gossip and information are currency to done on here and they think everyone needs to hear it.

I've been warned off chatting to certain individuals because they are "dangerous" but ignored all such advice either because I've never seen anything to suggest this is true or because I know the person warning me has ulterior motives.

I prefer to make my own mind up about people and trust my own instincts more than any hearsay.

Outside of fab I don't experience anywhere near as much of this but again I'll stick with my own opinion.

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By *ixed MisterMan
over a year ago

London

I take people as they are with me, and don't tend to take much notice of the stories that people tell because a lot of the time people will tell a slanted story to suit their agenda. Gossip just isn't for me, so please kindly miss me out with it.

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

[Removed by poster at 04/06/23 08:46:24]

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

Couldn't say as a hard and fast rule, it really depends on the people concerned and what is being said. I always have to consider any possible motives from the messenger as well.

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By *SMystiqueTV/TS
over a year ago

NYB

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth"

Was going to say exactly the same

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By *histle do nicelyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow South

A police friend often says to me that there are three sides to a story....Two offered and the truth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to let people gossip to me about others.... As others have said there is always a motivation for gossip.

I prefer to stay in my own lane and enjoy friendships untainted by others views

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It depends on how well I know both parties. It's nuanced and not as simple as yes and no.

I try and take people, for the most part, as I find them. Quite often I do question the validity of what someone is saying, how they're feeling etc.

We've all been there at some point - someone upsets us and we're all "oh this person is the devil incarnate" and then a bit later we think actually, nah, they're okay I was just a bit miffed for whatever reason.

Recently I'm leaning more heavily towards saying I'm sorry you're hurting and feel that way but I don't want to be involved. Especially if both parties are friends. For one, I don't have the energy for it. Secondly, if they're saying about someone? What are they saying about me? And what happens if the other person finds out? They might have a closer relationship with that person.

No, it doesn't stop me interacting generally. Obviously if something awful happened and there's clear evidence it did I might gently step away a bit - some things are not okay. At all.

On the whole though - I'm rather enjoying life right now. And actively removing myself from gossip and drama really has helped that.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I on the surface take it at face value but deep down I'm highly skeptical of anything I'm told. There are only a few people from fab I trust implicitly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth"

Best thing shared this whole year i have read to date.

Thank you fellow fabber.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth"

Truth hurts! Lieing is compulsive and easier!

I would rather take the bitterness and say the truth and set my own self free!

Than be a liar in others eye and my own very self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

If it's on here it's likely to be utter bollocks. People believe and pass on all kinds of shite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth

What if I can't handle the truth?"
is handleing a lie better? Easier?

Why? How?

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By *lcoupleneCouple
over a year ago

morpeth

Honestly we avoid drama so truth in it or no we’d avoid both parties!

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

In my opinion there's 3 sides to every story, yours , mine and the truth.

We all bend the story to our perspective

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

When someone tells me things about another person I'm far less likely to believe them if it's bad gossip. In fact it often makes me feel sorry for the person they're talking about

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

I will always support friends etc but will also tell them if I believe they are wrong in some way. It's not always that people may lie but might not be able to see the word from the tree because of their own feelings snd emotions. Listening to gossip only is dangerous and the truth as many said quite often lies somewhere in between the two versions of events and unless you were or have unrefuted evidence, there will always be a somewhat subjective judgement to be made.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made it a rule to NEVER repeat gossip

Listen carefully........ Lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I made it a rule to NEVER repeat gossip

Listen carefully........ Lol"

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Yes, when 5 different people tell me their versions of what happened to them by the same person I tend to believe it.

But essentially It doesn't impact on me, as I'd just distance myself from said person, I don't join in other people's dramas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my opinion there's 3 sides to every story, yours , mine and the truth.

We all bend the story to our perspective "

reality in this day and age.

The Truth has gotten many Killed And Hated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really depends who is telling me. Someone I barely know? I'll take everything with a liberal bucketful of salt and reserve judgement. My siblings or a very trusted friend? If they tell me someone was a horror I'll believe them.

Nell

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I actively avoid drama.

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I like to make my own mind up.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Fictional stories; I enjoy accepting them just as they are although, it could be fun so consider them told from another side; Little Red Riding Hood told from the Wolf's point of view for example.

Non fictional accounts (stories), there's at least two sides; there's a well known saying "one person's terrorist is another person's freedom fighter" and I think that this proves the point.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

Age, wisdom, cynicism... I rarely take things at face value.. I used to challenge and ask questions... (which i realise is painful), now i just listen... People's perceptions are their reality. Its what makes the world go around.

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
over a year ago

kendal

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

There is always 3 sides to a story....their side,your side,then the truth"

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stories are always from their narrative so I take the listen but don't take as gospel approach. I only judge people from my own personal experience of them.

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Varies. If I know both parties well then I may be more likely to believe one of them. If I only know one of them then I neither believe or disbelieve them and see how things unfold. It's hard to not believe a friend over someone you don't know at all.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I don’t gossip.

I don’t listen to gossip.

I do like to blink though

I love blinking I do.

Mrs TMN x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

A lot of people absolutely relish bad gossip about someone, especially if they don't like them much.

I was told some really bad stuff about a woman I don't particularly like and while I hoped it wasn't true because it was bad enough to destroy her marriage, a tiny part of me folded her arms and said looked disapproving. I didn't repeat it but to this day I wonder if it was true

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

My mum once to me she loved me but I had to take that with a pinch of salt when she then blocked me

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By *lipzer KnicksaffWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently

Do you mean on Fab?

I generally give people the benefit of the doubt unless I've seen evidence of a particular behaviour.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

I've heard so much opinion and gossip over the tears that if I believed it I'd probably have not met half the people I have in the last 15 years.

Everyone has their own opinions on others, often formed by what they see/read on here which is sometimes quite detached from reality, based on factors such as being ignored or rejected because someone isn't someone else's cup of tea otherwise type, misunderstood from comments being lost in translation and even views based on Chinese whispers and third party heresay.

Make your own mind up about others. Whether you're right or wrong or somewhere in between at least it will be your own evaluation of someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a song from a singer I like that rings true

There are three sides to every story, yours, mine and the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always try and look at it as, there is their version, their version and the truth. I also try and hold myself in that regard also, but will admit, I'm not perfect.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I work in an environment where I have to listen to other viewpoints so I think that helps in taking everything into consideration.

Sometimes some people are blinkered or maybe don’t have all the information before they make decisions though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Counciling once told me that everyone has their truth and we should respect their truth, regardless of how we feel about it, for only then can we move on and deal with our own truth.

Here endeth the marriage.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I always try to read between the lines. I’ve a couple of friends with stuff going on at the moment. I try to see the bit in the middle.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

People often see things from a different perspective. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are lying when they give their account.

It’s often a good idea to think “why are they telling me this story?”

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are often three sides to a story, person a, person b and somewhere in the middle.

I would take on board but try and make my own mind up and it would also depend on how well I knew the people involved

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"A lot of people absolutely relish bad gossip about someone, especially if they don't like them much.

Yep. Some people love to hear it. And seek it out. And spread it. Only got to look at schofield threads.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

[Removed by poster at 04/06/23 12:28:47]

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

There's usually more than three sides to a story, if it's worth contemplating, I reckon.

There's too much subjectivity and diversity around beliefs and values to say categorically that someone is in the right, wrong or what is true most of the time.

I just focus on knowing my own values and try to abide by them as best I can. I try to take people as I find them. Whatever other people say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

My mum once to me she loved me but I had to take that with a pinch of salt when she then blocked me "

Did she at least verify you first?

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

I try to listen to both sides as I dont know the person.

Bad rumours/comments can be said by others that are not true through many reasons.

Some have the truth and others just dont listen as they believe the gossip starters lies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

I wlasy ignore hearsay, if I hear it form the person themself fair enough.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I usually like to know both sides.

Sometimes, if it's someone I'm close to, I'll take more heed. But mostly stories about other people I just hold in the background as a vague consideration when talking to them until I know their side of things.

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By *omewhatSlightlyDazedMan
over a year ago

Warwick Birmingham & YamYamLand

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

I normally take people's opinions/stories etc with a pinch of salt. I tend to be a good judge of character but try not to judge until I've gotten to know someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mind automatically tries to understand the other person's actions, always seeking a different perspective.

As the saying goes, there's three sides to every story, your perspective, my perspective and the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It really depends who is telling me. Someone I barely know? I'll take everything with a liberal bucketful of salt and reserve judgement. My siblings or a very trusted friend? If they tell me someone was a horror I'll believe them.

Nell"

I agree. It depends on who they're talking about and the relationship I have with the person telling me. A trusted friend telling me about an experience they've had, I take as gospel. A trusted friend would lose the title of trusted friend if the spoke about another one of our friends behind their back, without sorting it with them.

But someone less close to me telling me about someone I am close to: 1. I would be less likely to believe them 2. definitely would ask the person being spoken about.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

I reserve judgment of others, my take of them being based on my experience not others, as others cause biases that cause skewed judgements. No matter who's telling me.

There is always 3 sides, person A story person B story, the true story a combination of both A n B.

Never stops me interacting with ppl when someone has told me things...what's stops me interacting is how I see them behave and Conduct themselves

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Do you believe stories you're told about other people by other people?

Do you ever consider the other persons side? Or do you just take what you hear as gospel and go with it?

Does it actually stop you interacting with people if what you hear is negative?

My mum once to me she loved me but I had to take that with a pinch of salt when she then blocked me

Did she at least verify you first?

Treat her with respect

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

Nah don't listen to shit like that. It's like Chinese whispers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After everything I've been through I always consider that there are two sides to every story and to never take anything at face value

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