FabSwingers.com forum: 1st message

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No matter what I type. O hardly ever get a reply and if I do it's sorry blocked. Any advice

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

You won't appeal to everyone.

Only message people where there's actual compatibility. Make an effort to connect with them rather than blandly messaging many people who obviously aren't going to be interested by what their profile says.

Remember rejection is a normal part of life.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Old advice, go to a club or social. Show your human side and your age won't matter.

Be respectful. Never go in with the sexy talk straight away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Old advice, go to a club or social. Show your human side and your age won't matter.

Be respectful. Never go in with the sexy talk straight away

"
I never do that my forst message is always polite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You won't appeal to everyone.

Remember rejection is a normal part of life."
I try to do that still nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, take it on the chin.

It happens.

There is no magic formula to getting a response.

Those you message will usually check out your profile first.

If they don't fancy you or don't think you're for them for any reason, chances are they won't even read your message, let alone reply to it.

It's just like the real world. You're only going to appeal to a select few.

It seems that many who join fab are under the false impression that it's a shag fest and that everyone on here is gagging for it and will fuck anyone who asks.

It isn't dial-a-shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately, it’s numbers.

If you were to break down the percentages, it’d blow your mind.

Take the entire female contingent of fab.

Consider how small the % of women whose criteria you will fit.

The take that and think of the % of those who are meeting at the time you message them.

Then think of how many will want to meet you.

Fab is a brutal place for single guys, unless you embrace the knowledge that you’re only going to appeal to a very small percentage of everyone here.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

It's something like 200/1 fir men on here. Just check you 'who's near' search, and you'll see the issue.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"It's something like 200/1 fir men on here. Just check you 'who's near' search, and you'll see the issue.

Who's near is relative to who's online currently. Men are more likely to be online generally.

I don't think it's anything like as bad as 200 to 1. There are more men than women though.

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

"No matter what I type. O hardly ever get a reply and if I do it's sorry blocked. Any advice"

I tend to find it's easier to strike up a rapport in forums.

It's had to message a stranger who let's face it probably has 100 similar messages every day

Just chat in here. Eventually you will connect with someone

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"It's something like 200/1 fir men on here. Just check you 'who's near' search, and you'll see the issue.

Who's near is relative to who's online currently. Men are more likely to be online generally.

I don't think it's anything like as bad as 200 to 1. There are more men than women though."

True. I guess if they don't have location switched on, on their phone, that will skew the numbers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately, it's not about advice or tips and tricks.

You either connect or don't.

It's that simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also numbers schumbers, it has nothing to do with that.

Take ownership of your own business and success.

Blaming it on the numbers won't address change.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"No matter what I type. O hardly ever get a reply and if I do it's sorry blocked. Any advice"
hopefully you're always polite and pick women suited to you, keep plugging away with the messages based on target profiles wants and you'll get there in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also numbers schumbers, it has nothing to do with that.

Take ownership of your own business and success.

Blaming it on the numbers won't address change. "

Having a great profile and clicking works but numbers do play a part too.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Unfortunately, it’s humans.

Fab is a brutal place for single guys, unless you embrace the knowledge that you’re only going to appeal to a very small percentage of everyone here.

The world is pretty brutal ...not just Fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately, it’s humans.

Fab is a brutal place for single guys, unless you embrace the knowledge that you’re only going to appeal to a very small percentage of everyone here.

The world is pretty brutal ...not just Fab

Daily levels of even more down gradeing takeing place.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

It’s not just your message though…

Your message invites people to look at your profile - pics and wording.

All three have to be good, consistent and intriguing.

Fail on one or two of those and message deleted or interest gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No matter what I type. O hardly ever get a reply and if I do it's sorry blocked. Any advice"

It’s a tough on op.

Because I don’t know WHO you message, I do t know what you’ve typed …

It’s a puzzle dude, (some are,…and I’m trying to crack it!

) just keep being you, and sooner or later someone might notice you, and then it might work out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s not just your message though…

Your message invites people to look at your profile - pics and wording.

All three have to be good, consistent and intriguing.

Fail on one or two of those and message deleted or interest gone.

Perfectly put

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By *andadbodMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

i blame brexit

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By *lamdaddyMan
over a year ago

London

Just don't ever message like I resigned myself too

The worst thing though is when you see similar men age range and stuff who are having sex with all the local hotties, that's the real killer

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I like to see photos with a smile personally.

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

My own little world

Don't send any messages and wait for a lady to message you

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

I don’t bother messaging on here anymore. I make my connections at group socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t bother messaging on here anymore. I make my connections at group socials. "

This.

The expectations on here for the messages are too high.

What happened to just a hello? What’s so bad about that?

Everythingis just a personal opinion on what makes a great icebreaker, but I know it’s easier and better face to face. And if you can’t even get a reply , whats the chances of a social?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No matter what I type. O hardly ever get a reply and if I do it's sorry blocked. Any advice"

No offence OP but posts like these are coming up more often and they’re not a good look. Quite cringey and smack of desperation. Forums are a great place to chat and give an idea of yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, take it on the chin.

It happens.

There is no magic formula to getting a response.

Those you message will usually check out your profile first.

If they don't fancy you or don't think you're for them for any reason, chances are they won't even read your message, let alone reply to it.

It's just like the real world. You're only going to appeal to a select few.

It seems that many who join fab are under the false impression that it's a shag fest and that everyone on here is gagging for it and will fuck anyone who asks.

It isn't dial-a-shag."

Judging by the profiles I've seen and women having a body count of 15, 20 or even more different guys, I would dispute it's not a shag fest for some

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By *lamdaddyMan
over a year ago

London

"I don’t bother messaging on here anymore. I make my connections at group socials.

This.

The expectations on here for the messages are too high.

What happened to just a hello? What’s so bad about that?

Everythingis just a personal opinion on what makes a great icebreaker, but I know it’s easier and better face to face. And if you can’t even get a reply , whats the chances of a social?

Wait til hello is a red flag at socials...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, be honest within your 1st message, tailor your message to their profile. You could end with " I completely understand if I'm not your type ". Mentally you're preparing yourself for rejection. Then not such a big shock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a good profile and good pics (maybe lose the kitchen one). Like most people said go to a club, then people can see a person behind the profile.

Good luck, I'm sure your a nice bloke, let them see it at a club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t bother messaging on here anymore. I make my connections at group socials.

This.

The expectations on here for the messages are too high.

What happened to just a hello? What’s so bad about that?

Everythingis just a personal opinion on what makes a great icebreaker, but I know it’s easier and better face to face. And if you can’t even get a reply , whats the chances of a social?

Wait til hello is a red flag at socials...

I know right?!?

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

"No matter what I type. O hardly ever get a reply and if I do it's sorry blocked. Any advice"

I chatted to you when we messaged, you fibber. Of course, I'm not looking, so we just chatted, so it doesn't really count.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

Make sure your profile is the best you it can be

Make sure you are offering what their profile is asking for

Make sure your message tells them how you think that you could connect

As others have said, things like smiling photos are really important. Perhaps add a line about moon the donkey and the recent adventure! Your profile needs to be about you and your personality not just about sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at what people are looking for it’s the best way to connect, maybe add interests to profile and you may find you have common ones which is a great start

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

Next time.

Type the message you want to send in here and let people critique it for you

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

You can also read advice on this thread that was going earlier about the exact same thing

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1462909

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

This is the best advice definitely!

I hate to say it but Fab is a total waste of time and effort as a single guy. It won't matter how good your messages and profile are, how great a person you are, nor what your reputation is, both in terms of 1 - 1 and club meets. Fitting yourself to the right profiles is a dead-end too.

A few men claim to be hugely successful, which may or may not be true, but what IS definitely a winner is to go to clubs and social events, being who you are and behaving as you would in any social setting. Don't be presumptuous, don't treat women as pieces of meat, or be disrespectful to them (or their partners) in any way. Do be genuine in conversation, show a little charm and genuine interest in them as people rather than conquests and enjoy the vibe.

I've said it many times before - I'm a VERY ordinary single guy, but I do fantastically well in a club with the right approach. It gets appreciated and leaves you standing out from the idiots who behave with a lack of class. That alone is a big plus that'll get you noticed for the right reasons.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like dating sites dialled to 11, i.e. a waste of time messaging.

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

My own little world

Just realised you don't have a vagina op. This may be the problem

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