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By *ezebel100 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.

Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not defending him, but i wear two rings on my right hand.. But occasionally I'll mirror image my photos so they look like they are on my left hand

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By *inkyguyUKMan
over a year ago

worcester

What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married

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By *ezebel100 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married "

Nothing wrong about him being married but be honest about it don't lie in your profile and say you're single.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Shall I say or it or will you?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married "

So lying and deception is better than divorce, I think the Mrs would feel different, the hurt and anguish that comes with cheating just so one can get their end away just isn't worth it in my opinion.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.

Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot "

If you are a Jezebel then you want someone else’s man.

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By *ezebel100 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.

Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot

If you are a Jezebel then you want someone else’s man. "

If you say so lol

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton


"Shall I say or it or will you?"

Fancy a fuck? Or is that something different?

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By *ezebel100 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Shall I say or it or will you?

Fancy a fuck? Or is that something different? "

Having read your profile definitely maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married

Nothing wrong about him being married but be honest about it don't lie in your profile and say you're single."

Or lie even after you've asked explicitly and then a few months later be told yes they are actually married.

And if you are married or attached and make the choice to have sex outside of your relationships no problem. All I ask is for people to give me the respect to make fully informed choices about who I want to have sex with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot "

I guess if your not going he might have to, of wherever else it pointing.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Sun has gone to a lot of men's heads judging by the messages I have been receiving today.

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By *ittle Miss BipolarWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently


"I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.

Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot "

Talk about thick as fuck.

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By *ildGroverMan
over a year ago

rathfarnham

I never ever witheld that info on here... There's enough fun to be had

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By *erence IIMan
over a year ago

Irrelevant


"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married

So lying and deception is better than divorce, I think the Mrs would feel different, the hurt and anguish that comes with cheating just so one can get their end away just isn't worth it in my opinion.

Mrs "

I'm not suggesting lying on a profile is right or that cheating is right but it always amazes me with this type of thread that people only ever mention hurt and anguish in relationship to the person who has been cheated on. Trust me, by the time many people turn to cheating they have been through many years of hurt and anguish. Similarly, while for some it may well be just about getting "their end away" (or whatever the female equivalent is) this is a gross over simplification for lots and it's an attitude that perpetuates the problem. When a person still feels the same way about their partner as the early days off their courtship is faced with a person who treats them as merely a provider (and that's not necessarily money but could simply be a provider of security, status or whatever) and offers them the same level of affection as the family pet it causes a huge amount of hurt. Unfortunately, the narrative you perpetuate is deeply ingrained so when this person tries to talk about their feelings it is inevitably twisted into an argument about sex. Although sex isn't the actual issue, as soon as the discussion/argument/row is framed in those terms they are shut down. They love their spouse, would never want to hurt them, certainly don't want them to fake enjoyment for their satisfaction so they end up being the one who just has to swallow the hurt and continue to try and act as though everything is normal.

I'm not condoning cheating but if you marry someone who once lit up when you walked in the room but has turned to someone who tuts in annoyance and lifts your hands off them the second you attempt to caress them in any intimate way, the hurt, the breaking of trust, the emotional damage is done, long before you go and stick you dick in someone else (or obviously the other way around when genders are reversed)

Maybe those who so readily condemn cheaters should spend a few minutes seriously considering how they would act if the partner who, right now, showers them with affection and intimacy slowly turned that tap off while simultaneously gaslighting them into believing they were the one with the problem. Made them believe that it was all the fault of their overactive sex drive. Just think how you would deal with a partner you still love and crave as strongly as the day you married but who gives you the cold shoulder day after day. It's easy to say you would walk away but would you really? Would you really walk away from your soul mate just because they didn't want sex with you (because that is what they will have convinced you is the problem)?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe those who so readily condemn cheaters should spend a few minutes seriously considering how they would act if the partner who, right now, showers them with affection and intimacy slowly turned that tap off while simultaneously gaslighting them into believing they were the one with the problem. Made them believe that it was all the fault of their overactive sex drive. Just think how you would deal with a partner you still love and crave as strongly as the day you married but who gives you the cold shoulder day after day. It's easy to say you would walk away but would you really? Would you really walk away from your soul mate just because they didn't want sex with you (because that is what they will have convinced you is the problem)?"

I do know exactly what that is like 10 years of marriage... 7 years of which zero sex or touch.

I exhausted all avenues to communicate and begged for couples therapy .... got my own therapy ... I personally chose to not cheat ... instead I asked for a divorce.

I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc

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By *av96Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Well said

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

Reading your profile bio, no where does it actually state in writing "won't meet married men" so I'm confused and that's no doubt why that man messaged you to start with?

You need to add it to your bio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair to him if he's not being fed at home then he has to go out and eat

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"

I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc "

Exactly this. I want to make up my own mind, rather than be dragged into an affair by deception and suffer the potential consequences. I've been there and felt like a right twat, as he got off me to answer his wife's phone call, answering as to why he wasn't coming home that night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe those who so readily condemn cheaters should spend a few minutes seriously considering how they would act if the partner who, right now, showers them with affection and intimacy slowly turned that tap off while simultaneously gaslighting them into believing they were the one with the problem. Made them believe that it was all the fault of their overactive sex drive. Just think how you would deal with a partner you still love and crave as strongly as the day you married but who gives you the cold shoulder day after day. It's easy to say you would walk away but would you really? Would you really walk away from your soul mate just because they didn't want sex with you (because that is what they will have convinced you is the problem)?

I do know exactly what that is like 10 years of marriage... 7 years of which zero sex or touch.

I exhausted all avenues to communicate and begged for couples therapy .... got my own therapy ... I personally chose to not cheat ... instead I asked for a divorce.

I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc "

I agree, no judgement but don't lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.

Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot "

There are widowers out there you know, who don't want to remove the ring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc

Exactly this. I want to make up my own mind, rather than be dragged into an affair by deception and suffer the potential consequences. I've been there and felt like a right twat, as he got off me to answer his wife's phone call, answering as to why he wasn't coming home that night "

That's awful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old photo?

Recently divorced or separated?

There may be more than one reason he has a pic showing him wearing a wedding band

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married

So lying and deception is better than divorce, I think the Mrs would feel different, the hurt and anguish that comes with cheating just so one can get their end away just isn't worth it in my opinion.

Mrs

I'm not suggesting lying on a profile is right or that cheating is right but it always amazes me with this type of thread that people only ever mention hurt and anguish in relationship to the person who has been cheated on. Trust me, by the time many people turn to cheating they have been through many years of hurt and anguish. Similarly, while for some it may well be just about getting "their end away" (or whatever the female equivalent is) this is a gross over simplification for lots and it's an attitude that perpetuates the problem. When a person still feels the same way about their partner as the early days off their courtship is faced with a person who treats them as merely a provider (and that's not necessarily money but could simply be a provider of security, status or whatever) and offers them the same level of affection as the family pet it causes a huge amount of hurt. Unfortunately, the narrative you perpetuate is deeply ingrained so when this person tries to talk about their feelings it is inevitably twisted into an argument about sex. Although sex isn't the actual issue, as soon as the discussion/argument/row is framed in those terms they are shut down. They love their spouse, would never want to hurt them, certainly don't want them to fake enjoyment for their satisfaction so they end up being the one who just has to swallow the hurt and continue to try and act as though everything is normal.

I'm not condoning cheating but if you marry someone who once lit up when you walked in the room but has turned to someone who tuts in annoyance and lifts your hands off them the second you attempt to caress them in any intimate way, the hurt, the breaking of trust, the emotional damage is done, long before you go and stick you dick in someone else (or obviously the other way around when genders are reversed)

Maybe those who so readily condemn cheaters should spend a few minutes seriously considering how they would act if the partner who, right now, showers them with affection and intimacy slowly turned that tap off while simultaneously gaslighting them into believing they were the one with the problem. Made them believe that it was all the fault of their overactive sex drive. Just think how you would deal with a partner you still love and crave as strongly as the day you married but who gives you the cold shoulder day after day. It's easy to say you would walk away but would you really? Would you really walk away from your soul mate just because they didn't want sex with you (because that is what they will have convinced you is the problem)?"

If all that shit is going on, they're not really a soul mate are they.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to judge people. Honest people. Sexual identity? Preference? Marital status? Gender? Just be honest with yourself and then us Fab lot. Trust me it's better for you that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc

Exactly this. I want to make up my own mind, rather than be dragged into an affair by deception and suffer the potential consequences. I've been there and felt like a right twat, as he got off me to answer his wife's phone call, answering as to why he wasn't coming home that night "

Shout "because he's here fucking me!"

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By *iss_FickleWoman
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

[Removed by poster at 30/05/23 20:18:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc

Exactly this. I want to make up my own mind, rather than be dragged into an affair by deception and suffer the potential consequences. I've been there and felt like a right twat, as he got off me to answer his wife's phone call, answering as to why he wasn't coming home that night "

OMFG that's awful what an enormous c*nt he was.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Wearing a ring on the ring finger doesn't necessarily mean that they are currently married to a living human.

I don't mind seeing married people, as long as their spouse gives enthusiastic consent.

I just don't want to deal with liars.

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By *iss_FickleWoman
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

A lot of people don't read profiles properly if at all. Also a lot of people pretend to be single...

Conclusion: there are some shitty people about...

Not allowing people to make an informed decision is just plain wrong in my book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some? The majority. It makes me sad.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Im legally separated so sgl but I wear a wedding ring still - we’re great mates snd don’t envisage divorcing… certainly not any time soon - we go to family do’s together - we have 32 years of history together. It ultimately didn’t work out but … i have friends who are widowed who still wear wedding rings so that’s not always an indicator. That being said - it certainly requires an explanation… we shouldn’t always jump to what we think is the only conclusion…. That’s my 2p worth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im legally separated so sgl but I wear a wedding ring still - we’re great mates snd don’t envisage divorcing… certainly not any time soon - we go to family do’s together - we have 32 years of history together. It ultimately didn’t work out but … i have friends who are widowed who still wear wedding rings so that’s not always an indicator. That being said - it certainly requires an explanation… we shouldn’t always jump to what we think is the only conclusion…. That’s my 2p worth "

I have found that men in your situation (or widowed) are open about it. No need to ask for an explanation.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle


"Im legally separated so sgl but I wear a wedding ring still - we’re great mates snd don’t envisage divorcing… certainly not any time soon - we go to family do’s together - we have 32 years of history together. It ultimately didn’t work out but … i have friends who are widowed who still wear wedding rings so that’s not always an indicator. That being said - it certainly requires an explanation… we shouldn’t always jump to what we think is the only conclusion…. That’s my 2p worth

I have found that men in your situation (or widowed) are open about it. No need to ask for an explanation. "

That is true xx I’m open about my situation. X

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