FabSwingers.com forum: Body Dysmorphia

By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago

London

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

Honestly you look really, really good

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

Honestly you look really, really good

yeah see, I think I am good with a camera, and know the right angles, but I don't look like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hiya OP, u look gorgeous and shouldn't feel this way at all. In truth, none of us are perfect by any stretch of the imagination and remember beauty cums from within. Looks are but superficial and can fade with age, etc. but the heart if kind will forever shine through.

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"Hiya OP, u look gorgeous and shouldn't feel this way at all. In truth, none of us are perfect by any stretch of the imagination and remember beauty cums from within. Looks are but superficial and can fade with age, etc. but the heart if kind will forever shine through.

Thanks, think I need therapy, I just feel like I am disgusting, and it's hindering me meeting

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

"
what is it you don't like?

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By *efinitely worth it...Woman
over a year ago

East Riding of Yorkshire

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

You really don't need to worry, you look great in your pics and video, but I know what you mean about do we look how we think we look to others etc. You've nothing to worry about, you're very attractive!

P.s. your nipples are fantastic xx

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By *onvon85Couple
over a year ago

telford

You are beautiful but I know what you are saying I also suffer with this somtimes I can look at a picture and think OK that looks nice other times I just think what the hell x

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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago

London

I spent some time with a girl who suffered body dysmorphia. Some days she the most confident girl I knew and on other days she would be in her room feeling low. It was a serious thing for her but after a few nights out, late walks and lots of convo, she came around

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with this, trouble is on here we're judged by our looks.

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

yeah exactly that. I think as I know that I am not exactly sought after in the real world, that I must be really awful :S

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"I spent some time with a girl who suffered body dysmorphia. Some days she the most confident girl I knew and on other days she would be in her room feeling low. It was a serious thing for her but after a few nights out, late walks and lots of convo, she came around

I need to find someone like you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you are gorgeous, I too have had days like that, knocks the confidence out of you and yes puts me off meeting also, but then I have my good days. Take time to yourself, we can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you really need therapy then please seek it

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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 28/05/23 18:17:27]

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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago

London

I need to find someone like you"

You absolutely will OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup, I have this too but it is under control these days. I have no idea what I look like and I try not to think about it too much or I spiral into a very bad place. I've kind of learned to just be like fuck it, I am who I am. But I know deep down under the surface there is a lot of trauma and unhealthy obsession over my appearance so I try not to think about it.

I wish I could see myself in the flesh from someone else's point of view to see if I'm really as ugly as I think I am. Sending you love. You look lovely in your photos but I understand that won't mean much.

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By *weetCherryWoman
over a year ago

London

Very much, yes.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

"
you need a new mirror or putting it against a different wall use a different bulb not all mirrors are the same iv found some that make me look like a fat mess others i look like im in wwe its like the angle phone thing it also works with mirrors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with this, trouble is on here we're judged by our looks."

You're right but there are exceptions to some where not all are shallow and can see beyond the external appearances of a person. There's good and bad in us all; it all cums down to chemistry at the end of the day (if no hidden agendas). I've been very lucky to have met some wonderful peeps on my journey and still learning.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

When it comes to the photos on here I am brutal with them but also don't see them as myself as my face isn't in them - I detach from them.

When it comes to 'normal' photos I avoid them like the plague and hate looking at myself. I don't know what I look like for that exact reason. But I'm used to it

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

had a peek at your pictures hope you dont,, honestly you look great attractive woman,, truth,,

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Yeah, I also hate having my pic taken and how I look. I especially dislike how I look sitting in my wheelchair because it changes how clothes fit and look and makes chubby tummies look even worse. I can be okay with my appearance when I stand (briefly) to get dressed but hate everything the second I sit down. I don't have any sage advice because I'm in a very similar position.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, I guess we are probably our own worst critiques, since I dislike all my pics. and forever deleting, but it seems some like a lot and in person they find me attractive which in my view I think they ought to have gone to Specsavers.

Guess there's an element of truth in the saying beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...!

So OP no need to ever feel that you are not beautiful because the reality is we are all beautiful in our own way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally understand what you mean about the mirror thing. I feel like I look good until I look back at pictures and it’s like it’s not even the same person. I have a really hard time seeing myself in the way others do. I often look at the pictures I’ve taken on here and sometimes my brain can’t even comprehend that it’s me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer from this

I see myself as much fatter than I actually am

I try my best not to check myself in mirrors

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By *riendlyStarMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

Unfortunately we all suffer with our demons, I'm not a looker I hate it personally but I'm blesses with a big heart and a silly sense of humour but people don't see that looking at pictures Haha, personally don't put yourself down, people are always there worst critic's, couldn't message you as it won't allow me too but I hope you see it

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By *ack-offMan
over a year ago

hertfordshire

Yeah I have this , I look at myself and always see the bad , I feel like I look like I’ve never been in the gym yet I go every day

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

You look great op, I totally understandable where your coming from, I love our fab pics but it's like it's not me, maybe in an alter ego type way and I think the photos look good but.....when I look in the mirror it's the opposite, I don't like what I see at all.

Mrs

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Yes in the way always think too small and skinny

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Yes, have days I think I look ok but mostly that's not the case

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"When it comes to the photos on here I am brutal with them but also don't see them as myself as my face isn't in them - I detach from them.

When it comes to 'normal' photos I avoid them like the plague and hate looking at myself. I don't know what I look like for that exact reason. But I'm used to it

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"had a peek at your pictures hope you dont,, honestly you look great attractive woman,, truth,,"

well that's the thing, not sure I even look like those

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"OP you are gorgeous, I too have had days like that, knocks the confidence out of you and yes puts me off meeting also, but then I have my good days. Take time to yourself, we can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you really need therapy then please seek it

yeah it does, can just be one small thing mentioned by someone, or a look I get, and that's it, I am totally bashing myself. x

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Have a chat with your doctor and see what cbt therapists are available for you, you need to look Into this as it can become quite serious

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By *hubster2016Man
over a year ago

I’ve suffered with this for years and still do now

I’ve yo-yo d up n down the last big weight drop I lost 7 stone 10 but then still got told I was fat and got depressed n put a lot back on to the point I’m at now!!!

I hate the way I look and have done since I was 15.

It’s easy for people to say I’m being stupid or that I’m not etc but unfortunately the way I feel about myself has kept me single since I was 25

You look fine though op and nice pics

Very nice looking pussy

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

I’m sorry to hear about you struggling with this, OP. I expect there are many more people on fab and out in the big scary world that feel the same.

My whole life I’ve never liked one thing about any part of my body. Occasionally I look in the mirror and think “Not bad, mate! You actually look ok today”. Even when I’m taking a selfie I think I look ok. But then I see the picture and think urgh!!

And I’m fairly certain it’s accurate to say I have literally never been checked out in public.

Things are getting worse as I get older, too!!

I’m lucky because I’ve always had these feelings, so have made my peace with it. Doesn’t mean I like my body any more, but I’ve accepted I am how I am and that won’t change.

Anyone who really matters won’t care what you look like. Although you and I both know that, all too often, the people we fancy don’t necessarily fancy us.

I’m just rambling now haha. Anyway, I hope you find a way to be ok with how you look.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

Yes, I've suffered with BD for 50 years.

I come from a large family, as in they are all big people... but I see myself bigger than I am... I used to make my own clothes and they were always much too big for me when I tried them on, and always buy things which need making smaller

Hate tape measures, hate weighing scales, and especially hate mirrors,

Can't stand going to the hair dressers.

Its horrid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with this, trouble is on here we're judged by our looks."

Don’t tell me that! I always thought it was due to-my shitty personality! Now I have to come to terms with the idea I’m an ugly twat too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are definitely not alone!

In my most recent pic, my boobs look amazing but I dont think they look like that when I look in the mirror! Not sure if people I've met think I'm a catfish? Do they see what I see or do they see what I look like in my pics?

Not sure if its dysmorphia or lack of self confidence? I cant look at pics other people have taken of me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are beautiful but I'm aware when you reach this point stranger's compliments won't change how you perceive yourself.

I think we all have a touch of body dysmorphia to some extent. Anyone that identifies a problem area with their own image will amplify the 'issue' in their minds over and over. For those who are lucky enough to be fully content with their own image congratulations! What's the secret?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also feel that this new age of filters are only heightening BD especially in the younger generation but will apply across most age ranges. I was fairly shocked recently to learn that there are also filters suitable for men to use. I do fear for future generations a great deal. I worry about the world my daughter will be growing up in

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"When it comes to the photos on here I am brutal with them but also don't see them as myself as my face isn't in them - I detach from them.

When it comes to 'normal' photos I avoid them like the plague and hate looking at myself. I don't know what I look like for that exact reason. But I'm used to it

You are gorgeous, have no doubts. And that's not just from pictures. Having met you I can attest to the fact that you are lovely, inside and out

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

Yes... and I have just lost 3 stone in 6 months. I don't think I'll ever like what I see in the mirror on photos etc.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

Yes... and I have just lost 3 stone in 6 months. I don't think I'll ever like what I see in the mirror on photos etc.

I presume that was intentional and a good thing for you, so congrats!! That’s some going x

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

I've always suffered with this to the point I did silly things to my chest and stomach that left temporary marks...but its my problem and I get upset when people say "you look good"

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"Yes, I've suffered with BD for 50 years.

Hate tape measures, hate weighing scales, and especially hate mirrors,

Can't stand going to the hair dressers.

Its horrid."

Omg same,I've had to ask to sit at a chair with no mirror in front

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"You are definitely not alone!

Not sure if its dysmorphia or lack of self confidence? I cant look at pics other people have taken of me "

I feel this too 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are definitely not alone!

Not sure if its dysmorphia or lack of self confidence? I cant look at pics other people have taken of me

I feel this too 100%"

Agree with comments above re body confidence and the impact of social media , filters, this clamour to look certain way. Really is impacting many of us. There’s times I can’t stand the sight of myself , body etc, not rational but it crushes me.

OP, from the profile, you look great.

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By *adbod2godbodMan
over a year ago

Manchester

100%

You're not alone, in the slightest. Some days I'll look in the mirror and go "hell yeah" others "good lord what have you done to yourself"

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By *adbod2godbodMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"100%

You're not alone, in the slightest. Some days I'll look in the mirror and go "hell yeah" others "good lord what have you done to yourself" "

Where as in reality I'll be in the middle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's body dysmorphia as such; I think it's just very natural and preferring yourself when you're posed/dressed up/ can control what parts other people see.

Everyone has parts of their body they dislike or don't like as much as others and no amount of people saying 'you look amazing' or 'you shouldn't feel like that' will change that ; it's something you've got to work on yourself .. xxx

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By *hrisukbishareCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

One of the challenges I suspect is that we are telling you you look amazing, but we are commenting on your photos which you don't trust.

I hope you can find safe ways to let people into your life to see the beautiful naked you for real. To explore your sexuality and glory so that you can see our love for you reflected in our eyes and actions.

Yes some therapeutic support may help with being comfortable accepting love and appreciation. But as others have said any partners need to accept you may have times when you won't believe us.

I hope you find pathways through and some genuinely lovely lovers to share your beauty with you. We are all beautiful in some ways.

With virtual hugs from me. Chris

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I used to, though I wouldn't say diagnosed, more the idea of it was consistent.

My body had a big ol' party long ago, the hangover of which took years to straighten out and realistically, won't ever fully recover from.

And it shifted, wildly and quickly in appearance a lot. Hard not to have it as a constant thought, y'know? Took years to get it the changes roughly under control.

Now, I take it walking a lot, I make it do a lot of active stuff and I don't much think about my appearance above the standard 'hope I don't look like a garbage can today!' stuff.

Guess a part of that is, I replaced my negative perception of image to a positive perception of what I can do, physically or mentally.

It's different for others, but that helped.

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

Thanks for all comments, I can't reply to all, because I will be here all day, and I am trying to do my neuroscience course too.

I have been diagnosed with BDD and BED, and its more than just the photos and how I look in them, it affects my everyday life. I can't go out sometimes because it's so bad, I cancel plans, and being on here, I can have the most lovely person want to meet me, but I can't meet them because I feel like I am inadequate and they'll be hugely disappointed

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I have episodes of it and I'm just coming out of one recently. It's very disconcerting not recognising your own face in a mirror. But it's strangely nice when you do again.

I think Fab can be a mindfuck if you're a bit insecure. We all take photos from the best angkes etc etc. Which is why I will occasionally put one of my just front on, not posed or anything, just so that I feel I'm not tricking anyone.

It's hard especially when your body is in flux. Check out the body dysmorphophobia foundation, they have an online test and have advice on that may be useful

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"Hi, anyone else suffer with this? I also don't really know what I look like, my pics I look ok in, but in real life, I look totally different. I can't even look at myself

When I look in the mirror, I think that is what I look like, but the image is reversed, as is selfie mode on the camera..

It's really messing me up

Hi OP, I can totally relate and I’m sorry you feel like this, it can be difficult. I have struggled with this all my life. Now it’s getting a little bit better as I get older.

What I found helpful is grounding, tuning into my body and learning to accept myself. The last one is easier said than done but one step at the time.

And believe me or not, Fab helps.

Hugs, you’re beautiful x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/05/23 08:52:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I have body dysmorphia as I'm very aware of how I look.

I can capture a good angle in a selfie but pictures others take reflects the reality. It's the reason why I try to avoid them.

I do get very self conscious about my body. I always have and I do panic about what others are going to think of it should I get to the point of meeting them and again if we get to the point of being undressed.

It upsets me frequently. I hate the mirror

I post pics here that I know don't really reflect the reality because the reality is frankly horrific to me.

However, I try really really hard to not let it stop me doing things. Yes, there's always a huge internal battle about it but I can't be defined by it.

My body is just that. It's a shell and not who I am.

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

I think it's a rare 1% of the population who truly love all of their body all of the time.

I don't particularly like my body, but I have come to accept that others do like it, so I have learned to live with what I have & be at peace with it.

Not only that, I'm told many times that my confidence & manner are attractive, so even if my body is a solid 4/10, I'm gonna own that shit!!

Life is short & I have decided not to waste any more of it hating on myself, when there are other things I can give my mental energy to.

For the record OP, you have a banging body & maybe you should have a go at believing people when they pay you a compliment x

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

There are a couple of issues with looking at yourself.

The first one is that you know everything that you perceive as imperfect, so your eyes are drawn to those things, and you assume that because you see them, you think everyone else does too.

The second is that you mainly see yourself from a weird perspective (looking down), so our perceived shape is unrealistically distorted. I find that often if I see pictures that I didn't realise were me, I see a better image that if I know its going to be a picture of me.

Cal

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I don’t particularly like the way I look, gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight etc it all took its toll and makes for an untoned body.

Social media also doesn’t help. Women should look a certain way or they are lacking in some way.

So I went on Reddit and followed NSFW and SFW communities that have lots of different body shapes. Not to judge, perve or compare but to see real, untouched everyday bodies that are different sizes and shapes. To re normalise the normal if that makes sense? Instead of the (often fake) perfection that social media plays upon.

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP Woman
over a year ago

In the clouds

"I don’t particularly like the way I look, gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight etc it all took its toll and makes for an untoned body.

Social media also doesn’t help. Women should look a certain way or they are lacking in some way.

Yeah that makes sense. I think mine stems from childhood abuse from my mother, I just can't seem to get over it. I wish I didn't care, today I'm having a bad day and haven't left the house

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By *andyrod1Man
over a year ago

St Margaret's at Cliffe

Just think of your camera as another type of mirror, it merely reflects a permanent image of what it sees, whereas a mirror by itself is transitory.

You look good in the photo because you look good in reality, you could try finding a local support group to help with how you see yourself and your reflection.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I used to be a total gym rat and really into body building, my dysmorphia was never worse than it was then.

I still hold myself to way higher standards than I would for anyone else and I'm never really happy with how I look.

There's a big part of me that doesn't understand why anyone would be interested in me unless I look flawless which still fuels the remaining dysmorphia.

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