FabSwingers.com forum: Sex post maternity

By *yan Brown OP Man
over a year ago

london

Is it common/ normal for sex or anything sexual to fade away after maternity?

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By *yan Brown OP Man
over a year ago

london

even a whole year later it seems like she just can't get in the mood. . . Or it's just me.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

It does happen for many reasons.

Imagine you'd grown a small human inside you, and pushed it out while in immense pain.

Then there's the hormones and effect pregnancy and childbirth has on the muscles, nerves, bones and skin.

Not to mention the responsibility of keeping a living thing alive and healthy, while looking after the house and family.

Sex is quite low on the list of priorities.

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By *yan Brown OP Man
over a year ago

london

Agree. But alot of those are shared responsibility. Obviously not the body changes.but its like the previously very busy Horny switch is just turned off permanently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she has seen your profile on here and figured you were getting it elsewhere.

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

Give it time pal, focus on being a parent sex isn't the be all and end all

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Was the decision to have a baby a mutual one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"even a whole year later it seems like she just can't get in the mood. . . Or it's just me."

Dear OP, its definitely you ... because if you got off here and listened and communicated with her you might understand a little of the upheaval pregnancy and a new body plus caring for a young baby does to a woman. If you genuinely love her and your child get off here and don't try fucking other people. Otherwise you are risking losing everything... of course she may already know and be biding her time ...

Physically my body has never been the same .... largely thanks to 2 csections and the scare. After my first my ex was pestering me within a couple of weeks and frankly I gave in but it was painful and uncomfortable so after that I said no also because I had a young na yneith sleep and feeding issues and I was exhausted. I kept on saying no because he had this air of entitlement and demanding his right to fuck .... eventually he took that entitlement elsewhere and then spent the next 16 years seeing his child every other weekend and paying maintenance.

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By *rincess1988Woman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

When you say “shared responsibilities”…how much is actually shared?

Your partner went through an immense life changing event (you as well but let’s be honest the impact on her is higher). And taking care of a baby is no walk in the park.

Sex was literally not a priority at all whenever I had a child.

Doesn’t help you’re on here rather than taking care of your offspring.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Check in with your partner and broach the subject of postnatal depression in a sensitive way. Is she breast feeding?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also what do you mean by shared responsibility? What do you do 50% of or more?

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By *yan Brown OP Man
over a year ago

london

Appreciate all the replies/ comments. It was fully conventual, she knows I'm here (she used to me too). But we are committed. I.e. I haven't cheated on her nor done anything she isn't aware of or approved... Really just wanted to gain an insight from a third party prospective...

We chat about this. She fobs it off a little so trying to fill in the blanks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

And another thing I get it. You're feeling rejected, it's been a year, you were previously the main focus now you're not. It's very difficult for men and people aren't terribly understanding.

All I can suggest is that you have a good talk to your partner. Explain how you're feeling ask her how she's feeling (and listen). Then come up with a plan between you to give you both a little time together as partners. Sex might not happen for a while but if you can feel like lovers instead of mum and dad it might deepen your intimacy. Be aware that to do this you will need to ensure that all parental worries are taken care of so that neither of you are thinking about what hasn't been or will need to be done and that might involve some planning on your part.

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By *yan Brown OP Man
over a year ago

london

Cooking cleaning bed times bath times. I'm fully there as much as possible.even changed job for less money to be able to spend more time with them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Cooking cleaning bed times bath times. I'm fully there as much as possible.even changed job for less money to be able to spend more time with them. "

How much are you involved in care of the baby?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Being mum is fucking hard work, it's exhausting, draining and just mentally numbing especially the 1st year, your life revolves around your child.

We did have sex however finding the energy was hard on so little sleep.

If your struggling help out, take some night shifts take her on a date, don't join fab and spend your time perving elsewhere, distractions are easily noticed and it's not nice for the one sat at home.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you get any time to yourselves without the baby?

Maybe a weekend away together might be a nice idea.

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Is it common/ normal for sex or anything sexual to fade away after maternity? "
yep they've got something more important than you to focus on

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

For me Yes, babies mentally and physically drain energy, took me 18 months before I was remotely interested in sex again, but being a single parent whilst being in a relationship put me right off him tbh.

All you can do is communicate with her. Good luck OP

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