FabSwingers.com forum: Is FAT a bad word?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word?

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I think its ok for you to call yourself it but not for others to judge you by it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the intent behind it's use

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

I personally wouldn't use "fat" to describe myself.

I use chunky or chubby curvy.

Too many people use the "fat" word in a horrible way to put others down so I don't like it in general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it’s not. People feel uncomfortable because we’ve almost expressively associated it with bad things. It’s funny men always respond to women calling themselves fat with ‘you’re beautiful’ but like you can be both…

Anyway, OP, fat isn’t a bad word and it’s nice that you love your body

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it’s not. People feel uncomfortable because we’ve almost expressively associated it with bad things. It’s funny men always respond to women calling themselves fat with ‘you’re beautiful’ but like you can be both…

Anyway, OP, fat isn’t a bad word and it’s nice that you love your body

I do think it can be used in bad/ harmful ways. And maybe always has been like that. But we reclaiming words and shit now these days.

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

It's OK for some one to use that terminology for themselves but it's not if its used by others to describe someone

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

I call it like it is - I'm fat, I own my "failings"

Would I ever use that word to describe anyone else? No

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Fat is not a bad word.

The intent behind the use of the word can be bad, or it can be not bad.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Not for me.

Not even when someone says I'm too fat for them.

It accurately describes me.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

It's at your discretion to describe yourself how you see fit. If the intent is not malicious then it's also at your discretion to accept the same descriptive from someone else - assuming it's given/interpreted without hurtful undertones.

I personally wouldn't use that term because it can potentially cause offence and hurt feelings.

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By *iercedItMan
over a year ago

Mcr

It's the intent of the word, same as any other, but it has been used to cause hurt predominantly, so it's an emotionally charged word.

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By *anforkinkywomenMan
over a year ago

Barwell

[Removed by poster at 26/05/23 22:11:04]

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By *anforkinkywomenMan
over a year ago

Barwell

[Removed by poster at 26/05/23 22:11:06]

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By *anforkinkywomenMan
over a year ago

Barwell

If you called someone a disgusting fat pig then that is a bad word. But I don't think it's a bad word by itself.

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

I dont mind it...their not telling me something I don't already know

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway, OP, fat isn’t a bad word and it’s nice that you love your body

Yes exactly this!!

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By *anes HubbyCouple
over a year ago

Babbacombe Torquay

I think the Op is more Phat than Fat

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By *ittle Miss BipolarWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently

For some it is.

I think you should be able to use your own language to describe your own body without some bloke thinking he knows better. Especially if it was very clear from your tone that you're comfortable in your skin.

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

When a man says your not fat 99 out of 100 will say anything to get sex,if you describe yourself as fat then your fat..your whatever you want to describe yourself as x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For some it is.

Yeah I completely agree with you. And the others who have said about the intent of the word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've no issue with using fat, and fat being used, as a descriptor. I'm fat in the same way that I'm blonde.

That changes however if the intent is to cause hurt or to shame. That's unacceptable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've no issue with using fat, and fat being used, as a descriptor. I'm fat in the same way that I'm blonde.

That changes however if the intent is to cause hurt or to shame. That's unacceptable.

True true true!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

curvy, chubby, thicc, fat, Rubenesque...

all just words that don't do such beauty justice..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ever use that word to describe someone else although I have used it to describe myself.

But is it really surprising that people are offended by the word? I've never once had the word fat directed towards me in a way that was not derogatory.

I do not think the word fat is bad. But I do think we have a long way to go normalising fat and bringing it back to a purely descriptive point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word? "

Personally I see it as a genuine description of myself. Yes I'm curvy, soft, squishy etc...however these things are because I'm fat lol. I don't see it as a bad word, but that's because I now give a lot less fucks about stuff than I used to lol

Mrs

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word? "

No FAT isn't a bad word. YOu think you are fat - he doesn't. Just accept that he doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I hate the word.

Takes me back to childhood and teenage years where it was used many times to describe me.

Holds many unhappy memories.

All boils down to body confidence I guess and you have an amazing body OP!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The word is subjective. So it could lead to confusion.

If you describe yourself as fat to someone, would you mind them asking how fat?

To me that sounds slightly disrespectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat is fat. Nothing subjective about it. Everyone knows what is being fat. I don't get the issue and don't see the need to avoid using it. Some people think they can compliment you by telling you untruths. They're just desperate but they they think they're being kind. Odd.

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

It all depend what context it's used in, in your case, it wasn't used to cause harm, so not a bad word. It's the same with a lot of different words that can describe something, if they can be used factually or in a way to cause hurt then some people will only see that word as a bad one.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If someone can see me or pics of me I don't understand the need for me to use any adjectives to describe myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone can see me or pics of me I don't understand the need for me to use any adjectives to describe myself "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I see a fat booty from the front I got to say hello in the clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Context and intent.

Like everything else really.

Maybe he was pandering OP?

That does happen here, occasionally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Context and intent.

Like everything else really.

Maybe he was pandering OP?

That does happen here, occasionally. "

That is everything that happens here. Compliments from out of nowhere are always with ulterior motive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're right fat is fat. But fat in appearance is subjective.

Some people would say a 5ft4 size 14-16 is fat , some wouldn't.

Of course it's your right to identify as fat.

You just can't expect everyone to agree.

But yeah idle flattery is never a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're right fat is fat. But fat in appearance is subjective.

Some people would say a 5ft4 size 14-16 is fat , some wouldn't.

Of course it's your right to identify as fat.

You just can't expect everyone to agree.

But yeah idle flattery is never a good thing."

Ps... what you mentioned is always gonna be fat.

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

I describe myself as fat, all the time... I am... I don't say it because I think I'm ugly, or I'm down on myself and I don't need lying to, to make me feel better about it... I certainly don't want women that aren't fat, insulted to make me being fat ok, either... I also don't want to be fetishised because of it... I am either attractive or I'm not... I don't really care either way, anymore. Being fat is just what I am at the moment, nothing more and that's fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're right fat is fat. But fat in appearance is subjective.

Some people would say a 5ft4 size 14-16 is fat , some wouldn't.

Of course it's your right to identify as fat.

You just can't expect everyone to agree.

But yeah idle flattery is never a good thing.

Ps... what you mentioned is always gonna be fat.

I think I'll just give this one up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Context and intent.

Like everything else really.

Maybe he was pandering OP?

That does happen here, occasionally.

That is everything that happens here. Compliments from out of nowhere are always with ulterior motive. "

Listen, sugar tits, that just isn't true.

For the longest of times, I've yearned, dreamt a dream, of your touch.

Always beyond my grasp, betwixt dawn and dusk, drifting between the ephemeral and real.

There are no ulterior motives, only an opportunity, a chance, the gift of the universe aligning in your shadow for the opportunity of your gaze.

To be seen and acknowledged.

Or something like that.

I dunno.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

"I think its ok for you to call yourself it but not for others to judge you by it

"
eye roll

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

As for fat, it's not a bad word, but rather the intention that can't be easily discerned.

It is possible to call someone fat in a sexy or cruel tone

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’m fat, I’m also awesome and fabulous. Hell yeah!

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

No, not really. It all depends on the tone and the intent

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I have a reasonable layer of subcutaneous fat. This is a fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It completely depends on the intention of the word. Using it as a slur or aiming to cause offence. No real way of being cute about it, but I've heard people use the word fat to describe themselves.

It's kind of like self deprecating humour, you can joke about your own depression but if someone else made a joke about it. May be offensive.

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

"I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word? "

I’m going to have to say yes fat is an insulting word used to degrade someone to mentally hurt someone but the word curvy is a much better word or even PAWG (Phat Ass White Girl) which interprets someone with a sexy round ass which is sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a reasonable layer of subcutaneous fat. This is a fact. "

Boobs are a sack of fat. I

boobs

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By *ancave69Man
over a year ago

London

Fat big plump curves lumps and bumps mmmmmm call yourself whatever takes your fancy.. It certainly take mine

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

It’s a just a word nothing else, we were always told as kids words can’t hurt us yet unfortunately we have devolved into a society where many are offended by words these days.

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

It's like describing people as skinny or saying someone's a goth chav or ned etc it's a description obviously words can hurt so it's best to be mindful as anyone can be and have the right to be offended by being called anything

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's the intent behind a word that really counts. If someone happily describes themselves a certain way I feel it's patronising to tell them they're wrong. I often refer to myself as old, nine out of ten times people will say "you're not". Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word? "

I agree with you fat is not a bad word, I guess it can be used in a derogatory way but it’s not a bad word In my opinion

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By *oshblueyedmanMan
over a year ago

hereford

"It's the intent behind a word that really counts. If someone happily describes themselves a certain way I feel it's patronising to tell them they're wrong. I often refer to myself as old, nine out of ten times people will say "you're not". Why? "

I agree 100 per cent. I think it’s that old and fat are considered negative, demeaning words. Used by you to describe yourself it’s a whole different deal… gorgeous you are… x

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

Op you are simply stunning

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By *eally_RosieWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Like anything, it’s just a word. Being offended is a choice. Doesn’t bother me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word?

Mrs"

Yes, yes, yes! This was my entire point.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

If it's your word for yourself and you have a comfort with it that isn't from a bad place, then... bit weird for anyone to try and disagree.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I describe myself as fat, all the time... I am... I don't say it because I think I'm ugly, or I'm down on myself and I don't need lying to, to make me feel better about it... I certainly don't want women that aren't fat, insulted to make me being fat ok, either... I also don't want to be fetishised because of it... I am either attractive or I'm not... I don't really care either way, anymore. Being fat is just what I am at the moment, nothing more and that's fine. "

Yes babe!

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

Context is everything.

"I'm a fat cunt" *laughs at self.

"You're a fat cunt!!!!!" *said with disgust.

"You're not fat, you're beautiful!!!!! *wants to get dick wet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not a bad word but with like most physical appearance words, it can be used as an attack by some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think alot of men and slim women see the word fat as a bad thing - it isn't! If you're comfortable using it then who cares

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

A man mansplaining, say it isn't so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m size 24 and say I’m fat if I start talking to someone, I think because I try to be honest about me and don’t want anyone to think I’m catfishing, and I don’t like to use bbw or extra layers… I think it’s just stating what I am if that makes sense.

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By *atfuckerbristolMan
over a year ago

Wells

It’s a useful description. I am fat. I’m not an activist or anything - but I accept that fact.

If anyone who hasn’t met me says “how can I find you?” I’m very happy to say “I’m the fat bloke in the corner with the blue shirt on”.

I actually find some of the pains people go to in avoiding the word fat on my behalf kind of funny

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Context is everything.

"I'm a fat cunt" *laughs at self.

"You're a fat cunt!!!!!" *said with disgust.

"You're not fat, you're beautiful!!!!! *wants to get dick wet.

"You're not fat, you're just tall" kid trying to not hurt your feelings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But if someone says “ they have a nice fat dick”……

We’d appreciate the girth…..

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I am fat.

Dress it up with placatory words if you want to, but I am what I am.

I'm also a lot of other things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat is fat,skinny is skinny!

We all or most wish to be excepted for what we are!

Even in skin colour plus more.

The dilemma in society is just that! Esp on the net. Many trying to tick others boxs of approval which has already set the tone for a massive mental decline and dysfunction!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People like to dress it up to make themselves feel better.

Own your fat not your “curves”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When a man says your not fat 99 out of 100 will say anything to get sex,if you describe yourself as fat then your fat..your whatever you want to describe yourself as x"
sales pictch,say anything to seal the deal.

Behaviour in people is very strange,not all words matter look at real actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A man mansplaining, say it isn't so! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word? "

Apart from looks visualy.

Do actions and personality count.

I have obsearved over many years now.

One can or may have good looks yet a wrotten heart and Devlish.

Another not so good looking,but angelic.

Looks are merely a shell and cover on the surface. Look a little deeper the contents and action of people then you see the real them.

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

You're not "fat" you have "fat" and that's different. You are a beautiful woman first and always. It's not a bad word, but don't use it as a word to describe yourself.. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends on the intent behind it's use"

Completely agree,.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Context and intent.

Like everything else really.

Maybe he was pandering OP?

That does happen here, occasionally.

That is everything that happens here. Compliments from out of nowhere are always with ulterior motive. "

words are words without real actions.

All posted pics of people we really dont and wont know.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"You're not "fat" you have "fat" and that's different. You are a beautiful woman first and always. It's not a bad word, but don't use it as a word to describe yourself.. x"

I have lots of fat on my body which makes me look fat.

The fat (noun) makes me look fat (adjective).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am fat.

Dress it up with placatory words if you want to, but I am what I am.

I'm also a lot of other things."

Indeedy.

On paper and on the CV we often write much. But at the interview,or at the Dragon's den dress down. All gets revealed.

I think many are shying away from some real face to face engagements,due to past truama. So the comfort of the keyboard and screen provides just that.

Everything to gain,nothing to lose. Its life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m like an avocado. Good fat

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By *ayo81966Man
over a year ago

barnstaple

It all depends on useage

As a 18st guy i have had it used derogatory to me but also in a good way by a self confessed chubby chaser

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all the ridiculous terms used today that's offensive. Call yourself how you see fit.

I once said that I needed to get in shape and he said

But Rob, round is a shape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People like to dress it up to make themselves feel better.

Own your fat not your “curves”. "

Can we not own both?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I have a reasonable layer of subcutaneous fat. This is a fact.

Boobs are a sack of fat. I

boobs "

There's other things in boobs too, but yes. Some boobs have more fat than others also

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

In that case I like tits full of fat

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word? "

I think over time our use of language changes, for differing reasons. I'd include words like bastard, retard and spastic. Fat is a similar term in that its perceived as derogatory and a gendered slur.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You own the word, you give your meaning to it. You add positive or negative tone to it, which others might misinterpret .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fat rolls have fat rolls.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"My fat rolls have fat rolls.

But I think that you're lush!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My fat rolls have fat rolls.

But I think that you're lush!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a reasonable layer of subcutaneous fat. This is a fact.

Boobs are a sack of fat. I

boobs

There's other things in boobs too, but yes. Some boobs have more fat than others also

Oh. Womansplain it to us

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I have a reasonable layer of subcutaneous fat. This is a fact.

Boobs are a sack of fat. I

boobs

There's other things in boobs too, but yes. Some boobs have more fat than others also

Oh. Womansplain it to us "

I just did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just described myself as fat to a guy on here and he went to great lengths to tell me that I am not fat and that I look great and what I am is curvy etc etc...

Thing is, I was not degrading myself by saying that. I was saying what I am. I was stating a fact. I wasn't looking for him to tell me that I am not! I love my FAT body. I know I look great!

So question is, is the word fat a purely bad word? "

There are no bad words just easily offended people

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