FabSwingers.com forum: Putting on weight

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I look back at nudes I took just one year ago or during lockdown and can’t believe how much weight I’ve put on. As our bodies change, it’s hard to continue to love yourself I find because there’s so much pressure from various places to look a certain way in order to feel desirable. Even with people loving dad bods it feels like an acknowledgment of being an attraction outside of the norm? Idk. I’ve always found loving myself difficult. Always wish I looked different. And now I find loving my body shape difficult too. Used to go running everyday but a back injury means that I can’t anymore. Gyms are too expensive these days and you just find yourself slipping into a ‘cba’ kind of attitude when it comes to other forms of working out. Most of it is mental health but hating the way you look makes you feel even worse.

There’s no point to this post really. Just a kinda - I woke up and looked in the mirror and thought ew. Then put on the shorts I had from last summer and noticed how much tighter they are. And a t shirt that hugs my belly more than it used to. And just feel a bit shit. I have noticed myself recently not feeling sexy anymore being topless. I wore a tight t shirt out recently and held my stomach in pretty much the entire night. I’m fortunate that my partners make me feel sexy and desired but there’s a difference between accepting that other people love your body and loving it for yourself.

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Not gonna go into details but I hate my body so much I used to do silly things to it...but I also accept my body is my responsibility x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've hated my body since at least I was six. I get it.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Yeah I'm 2 stone heavier since having my son, it's not much to others but to me it's alien & I do not like what I see in the mirror.

Although I am liking my larger boobs so there's a small positive.

Mrs

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Morning Steveie P.

I hear you.

It's such a challenge to accept ourselves as we are. But we can only try to do our best.

I have fluctuations with my weight. During lockdown I put lots of weight on like most of us. But mine was down to illness and medication. I have been unwell again and now lost weight. People see me and congratulate me on my weight loss. It isn't something I tried to achieve. It makes me feel uncomfortable because I didn't work my arse off in the gym so I don't deserve that recognition. My body has changed and that is something I have to accept. I don't necessarily like it. But it's what I'm working with now so best to appreciate what we have.

Can I make just one suggestion though, make 1 change and stick with it for a week. You can stretch every day using you tube videos. Or remove bread from your diet. Just 1 change. But be dedicated.

Jo.Xx

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

It happens I am afraid. Body changes all the time. We can't but embrace the changes or we would be in a state of constant worry. I also think it's about confidence and how someone carry themselves and doing things to help without becoming obsessed with excessive health fads or gym or anything else. People do really what they think helps them feel good about themselves of course but for me it's all about moderation.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Yes ... I'm no longer a tiny size 8. Medication and ill health put pay to that

I'm not what people would call big by any means, but I'm big for me.

Currently a 12, I was a 14 verging on a 16 at one point after gaining 3 stone in 6 months. But I'm only short, so it was really noticeable.

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

"So I look back at nudes I took just one year ago or during lockdown and can’t believe how much weight I’ve put on. As our bodies change, it’s hard to continue to love yourself I find because there’s so much pressure from various places to look a certain way in order to feel desirable. Even with people loving dad bods it feels like an acknowledgment of being an attraction outside of the norm? Idk. I’ve always found loving myself difficult. Always wish I looked different. And now I find loving my body shape difficult too. Used to go running everyday but a back injury means that I can’t anymore. Gyms are too expensive these days and you just find yourself slipping into a ‘cba’ kind of attitude when it comes to other forms of working out. Most of it is mental health but hating the way you look makes you feel even worse.

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

I've been up and down over the years weight wise, making my way back down now. Most of mine seems to gather round the middle which can be a real confidence killer at times.

But I work in a lingerie shop and a good 50-60% of the time I'm having to boost a customers self esteem when they're doubting themselves or putting themselves down, that's not to make sales, I just hate to see people feeling so low about themselves when I personally think they look great. But we aren't always that kind to ourselves are we?

Meeting new people this year since my relationship ended has been a boost for me so far. The people I've met have appreciated me and my body, I just need to be kinder to me

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By *espectfulGuy1Man
over a year ago

Northwich

"Yes ... I'm no longer a tiny size 8. Medication and ill health put pay to that

I'm not what people would call big by any means, but I'm big for me.

Currently a 12, I was a 14 verging on a 16 at one point after gaining 3 stone in 6 months. But I'm only short, so it was really noticeable."

May I say you look fantastic. Unfortunately weight has become an issue since I stopped cycling and find it hard to motivate myself to get back into it but having a new dog means I’m walking a lot more and love the outdoors and exercise that brings

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

Yes, I get what you mean but my issue have been backwards, I was bigger and happier but stress took most of my weight

I was a curvy 16-18 with a butt and a belly and these hips that went for days

Stress took it all and dropped me to a size 4, I hated my body, it looked skeletal and didn’t have the energy just to get through the day, it would ache all the time, my bones stuck out and even now I sit on my coccyx which is painful

I asked the doctors for help - they told me to get over it because ‘others would enjoy losing weight, why don’t you’ so I stoped asking them worked on it myself, I’ve gained enough weight now to be a healthier 8 1/2st but I’m looking to get to 10 at least

I found the best for my body is to eat while in water, no clue why it worked but it helped so much so I took snacks into the bath tub, weird sure but idc, it worked

Anyway I’m slowly slowly learning to like my body, it does what I need now, it has enough energy to let me actually have a full day work, play, whatever I want

At the end of the day what’s inside didn't change or let me down, only the vessel of a body

You’re more than your vessel, we all are

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

I'm fat I accept that cuz im truly comfortable in my own skin, if I had a real problem with my body it's up to me to put some action in to change the way I view myself. And come to a place where I accept myself

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I’m with you OP on every part of this.

Ian I get older the motivation to work harder to stay in shape is diminishing being replaced with body fat.

For many I don’t look over weight but my body fat percentage is higher than it should be and I would like. I do think that age is a factor in all of this, one we over look too much.

I just cba to put in the much needed work which to me means that maybe I don’t think it’s that bad but I know that it is.

I don’t know what the answer is. I know people say fall in love with the body you are in, but right now it feels like an old friend that is betraying me. It is making me compare to how it was, other people, attractiveness etc.

And before anyone says that we should never compare, I work in an industry that is about perception and looking successful even if you aren’t. It’s about confidence and personality. All which I feel are lacking right now to some degree.

I think when we open ourselves up to something like Fab where we are initially judged on the way we physically appear can be difficult especially when you feel low as then we only look for confirmation of this.

I have probably waffled on far too much already and I know I should be spending this time doing something about it all but I thought I would share my thoughts while tucking into donuts for lunch

Marc

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I used to be a lot bigger so sometimes I will catch a look at myself in the mirror and think not bad. I have a pair of leggings that make me legs look almost slim. But I still always hate on my belly. But in the end I am me and people will either find my attractive or they won't and I can't worry about it.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Since my first risqué photo I took I've put around 5 stone on.

I don't hate how my body looks as much as how it feels.

Saying that, I've lost a stone and a few pounds since Christmas

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I hear you Steve. I bloody shit when you look at the mirror and you don't like what you see. I put on a bucket load of weight on due to illness and bad mental health following it. It really knocks your confidence for six.

I'm gradually loosing weight and I mean gradually. Because me and weight loss don't have a happy history. But I mirror Jo advice of changing one thing a week, even if it's eating a 2 finger kit kat instead of 4. Think sometimes we think we have to do change drastically in short spaces of time. Progress is progress even if it's small

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had some health problems a few years ago that caused me to fall under 8 stone (I'm 5'10) so hated my body then. At that time my body really rejected food and I fell out of love with it. After getting better, my love for food returned and I now love it more than ever... meaning I've gone the other way and would now consider myself chubby haha.

For as long as I can remember I've not been happy with my body, but I have always found that no one else hates it as much as me, so maybe it's more of a mental battle. Either way, I think most people can relate to you, op, and it's a hard mindset to get out of. Hope it doesn't get you too down, and my inbox is open to anyone who is struggling and just fancies a chat or a rant.

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By *innocentMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

Doesn't matter if you're 8stone or 80, we all end up in the same wooden box 6 feet in the dirt.

Enjoy every day.

Merry everything

Happy always.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the quack informed me today, in 2009 I weighed 14st and now I'm 2st heavier. This surprised me as I have so many less fucks to give. I don't understand how this has happened as those fucks to give always felt so very heavy. I honestly thought I felt lighter without them!

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I vary between fuck it, and holy fuck, Greenpeace are here to rescue me.

I love my boobs being bigger.

When I was slimmer (never been slim, mind) I wanted bigger boobs. Always thought they were too small for my frame.

Now I have bigger boobs but also belly and ass and thighs, which means I still don't feel proportionate.

I think few people love everthing about themselves.

Acceptance is the key xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I vary between fuck it, and holy fuck, Greenpeace are here to rescue me.

I love my boobs being bigger.

When I was slimmer (never been slim, mind) I wanted bigger boobs. Always thought they were too small for my frame.

Now I have bigger boobs but also belly and ass and thighs, which means I still don't feel proportionate.

I think few people love everthing about themselves.

Acceptance is the key xx

The last 2 sentences are soooo true x

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Although I have put weight on over the past couple of years, my problem has always been body dysmorphia. My face and body has always felt unattractive and ugly to me. I can probably count on one hand the times where I've actually felt I looked good in the moment.

One thing I have learnt over time, is that when I look back at the very few photos I allowed of myself in the past, I tend to look at them and think I was actually quite good looking back then even though I despised myself at the time.

Its difficult and being honest, I don't often believe myself, but I try to think that while I despise my looks right now, I will look back in time I realise I wasn't as horrible looking as I think I am right now in a few years time.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I’ve been comfortable with my body for years now took some time to accept it. My weight seems to of plateaued over the last couple of years but it just seems everything is going south, I’m out in the garden today and took a couple of pics, my boobs are definitely not where they used to be

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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

I feel your pain, OP

I don't seem to have the healthiest relationship with food, which is entirely a mindset rather than anything else.

I lost a load of weight in lockdown, which I needed to and lots of people told me how great I was looking. But they didn't know it was because I had a bit of a breakdown and basically forgot to eat for about 4 months. And combined it with lots of running, because it was both good for suppressing the appetite even further and because there was flop all else to do....

Now I'm over all that, but have different stresses in life and I'm overeating / binge eating and not exercising as much. I've probably put on 2 stone in 18 months. I keep looking in the mirror at the state of myself and thinking "Jesus wept", but the cravings are still there late at night

Im sure I'll get back to happy balance eventually, and you will too OP.

In the meantime, I'll try to keep my chins up

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

When I got married my wedding dress was a size 6, since having children and a less active life I am now a size 10-12. Years of compliments from my husband have had no affect on changing the way I feel either.

Only now through this lifestyle, seeing others bodies, reading the forums etc have I been able to do this but it's been difficult and I still have big downers some days.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I miss some of my curves.

When I was fat, I found it easy to own it. I liked my body and that's all that really mattered.

I've gone through a lot of changes this past year though. I've lost 4 inches off my waist and I don't like the way my body looks as much as I used to.

But I'll get there once it stops being in flux I think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Coming

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not gonna go into details but I hate my body so much I used to do silly things to it...but I also accept my body is my responsibility x"

It is but also it’s ok to hate the way your body looks even if you are responsible for the reason.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've hated my body since at least I was six. I get it."

u swing

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By *t0600Man
over a year ago

elvedon

Not to worry boss happens to us all I’ve gained weight . And it’s easily taken back off with a bit of graft

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah I'm 2 stone heavier since having my son, it's not much to others but to me it's alien & I do not like what I see in the mirror.

Although I am liking my larger boobs so there's a small positive.

Mrs "

Finding the positives is important. And I feel like the changes in your body after childbirth are things I completely understand you struggling with. I think some women I’ve spoken to hoped they’d be able to go back to how they were before and it’s just not so easy. I’m sorry if I’m not being helpful actually but I see you.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I hate my body, the menopause has made me gain so much weight I look pregnant.

I've never had a good mental veiw of my body. I'm learning to live with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I'm 2 stone heavier since having my son, it's not much to others but to me it's alien & I do not like what I see in the mirror.

Although I am liking my larger boobs so there's a small positive.

Mrs "

From what I can see your body is amazing!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Morning Steveie P.

I hear you.

It's such a challenge to accept ourselves as we are. But we can only try to do our best.

Can I make just one suggestion though, make 1 change and stick with it for a week. You can stretch every day using you tube videos. Or remove bread from your diet. Just 1 change. But be dedicated.

Jo.Xx

Thank you Jo

You’re right I need to appreciate what I have more. I think I just have moments when I’m like what the fuck have I done to myself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It happens I am afraid. Body changes all the time. We can't but embrace the changes or we would be in a state of constant worry. I also think it's about confidence and how someone carry themselves and doing things to help without becoming obsessed with excessive health fads or gym or anything else. People do really what they think helps them feel good about themselves of course but for me it's all about moderation.

I feel like I’m in that state of constant worry maybe. I struggle to keep up with the changes in my body

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes ... I'm no longer a tiny size 8. Medication and ill health put pay to that

I'm not what people would call big by any means, but I'm big for me.

Currently a 12, I was a 14 verging on a 16 at one point after gaining 3 stone in 6 months. But I'm only short, so it was really noticeable."

Big for you is what matters. It’s how you see yourself. How you see the gain in weight. I have people tell me all the time I’m not fat and they love to be my size but I feel huge compared to how I was and am used to being.

Hope you feel good in yourself though

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

[Removed by poster at 26/05/23 14:08:27]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been up and down over the years weight wise, making my way back down now. Most of mine seems to gather round the middle which can be a real confidence killer at times.

Meeting new people this year since my relationship ended has been a boost for me so far. The people I've met have appreciated me and my body, I just need to be kinder to me

It’s so important to have people like you in this world that lift others up but we need you to feel that in yourself and for yourself.

it’sa journey i know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At my age I have lumps and bumps and it never bothers me. I look myself in the mirror, smile and think this is me, kind, honest, love a damn good giggle, so I just get on with living life with a big smile.

If a woman comes along that wants a good time and is happy to be with me, lumps and all, great, if not I just shrug it off and carry on with my own life.

Just smile, be happy, you only get one life so go and live it, forget the rest, it really isn't that important

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I'm opposite due to new medication I started last July I've lost weight I really didn't want to! We never satisfied lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

I’m on intermittent fasting lost 3 1/2 in 4 months and still loosing, never felt better. Fully sustainable too. Not a fad diet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes, I get what you mean but my issue have been backwards, I was bigger and happier but stress took most of my weight

I was a curvy 16-18 with a butt and a belly and these hips that went for days

I found the best for my body is to eat while in water, no clue why it worked but it helped so much so I took snacks into the bath tub, weird sure but idc, it worked

Anyway I’m slowly slowly learning to like my body, it does what I need now, it has enough energy to let me actually have a full day work, play, whatever I want

At the end of the day what’s inside didn't change or let me down, only the vessel of a body

You’re more than your vessel, we all are "

God what a journey. Thank you for sharing

I am glad you’re healthier now and doing what works for you. I’m so glad you’re learning to like your body. Loving it is next x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

I’m on intermittent fasting lost 3 1/2 in 4 months and still loosing, never felt better. Fully sustainable too. Not a fad diet "

I found intermittent fasting helped. But when I stopped I put weight back on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm fat I accept that cuz im truly comfortable in my own skin, if I had a real problem with my body it's up to me to put some action in to change the way I view myself. And come to a place where I accept myself "

So glad you’re comfortable in your own skin, man

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

I've been up and down over the years weight wise, making my way back down now. Most of mine seems to gather round the middle which can be a real confidence killer at times.

Meeting new people this year since my relationship ended has been a boost for me so far. The people I've met have appreciated me and my body, I just need to be kinder to me

It’s so important to have people like you in this world that lift others up but we need you to feel that in yourself and for yourself.

it’sa journey i know. "

Thanks doll, now look in the mirror and repeat that to yourself please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

I’m on intermittent fasting lost 3 1/2 in 4 months and still loosing, never felt better. Fully sustainable too. Not a fad diet

I found intermittent fasting helped. But when I stopped I put weight back on"

The idea if you’re doing it properly you never stop there is no need to.

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

[Removed by poster at 26/05/23 14:16:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I vary between fuck it, and holy fuck, Greenpeace are here to rescue me.

I love my boobs being bigger.

When I was slimmer (never been slim, mind) I wanted bigger boobs. Always thought they were too small for my frame.

Now I have bigger boobs but also belly and ass and thighs, which means I still don't feel proportionate.

I think few people love everthing about themselves.

Acceptance is the key xx

I think you'll find salad is the key.

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

I feel like I’m in that state of constant worry maybe. I struggle to keep up with the changes in my body

You need at least one naked hug a day for a month and you will soon forget it. All we need now is 30 local volunteers. Shall we start a thread for it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beauty comes from within OP, so stop beating yourself up about how you look before, etc. Matters not, just enjoy being you and make the small changes in your lifestyle in terms of healthy diet and daily exercise if it'll help make you feel any better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m with you OP on every part of this.

Ian I get older the motivation to work harder to stay in shape is diminishing being replaced with body fat.

For many I don’t look over weight but my body fat percentage is higher than it should be and I would like. I do think that age is a factor in all of this, one we over look too much.

I just cba to put in the much needed work which to me means that maybe I don’t think it’s that bad but I know that it is.

I have probably waffled on far too much already and I know I should be spending this time doing something about it all but I thought I would share my thoughts while tucking into donuts for lunch

Marc"

Mmmmm Donuts

No but I totally get you, Marc. And it’s not so easy on fab, this place doesn’t help when you’re down that’s for sure. I think it’s not so easy to fall in love with your body, it’s easier to try and achieve the body you want maybe? Maybe that’s easier to love? Idk

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

I remember thinking I was fat at 20. When I was 30 I looked back and thought you didn't appreciate what you had then and I thought I looked terrible as a 30 year old. Today I look back on my 30s and think. You looked hot, I wish you had appreciated it.

So today i live for the 50, 60, 70, 80 and beyond version of myself. I have never been fatter and I have never felt sexier or happier in myself. And you know what? The motivation to do something about my health and weight is increasing because I am doing what I want to do today and not waiting for that day sometime in the future of when I am slim.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is something I've always struggled with. I've hated my body in one way or another since I was about 13.

I'm bigger now than I've ever been and as a result I've lost any idea on what actually works for my body style wise and I can't stand how I look naked. It's a huge problem for me confidence wise too.

I use self deprecating humour a lot to try and mask the insecurity because then it might hurt less if anyone else says it.

I try hard to eat well and move lots but I also comfort eat, I'm super busy and always on the go. I've got two jobs and 3 kids and I realise I use it all as an excuse for my lack of will power.

However oddly, I'm also getting to the point where I'm thankful my body is even still going, for all of the above reasons. I'm thankful for all it's gotten me through. I'm thankful for, all the things I can do, for the fact I'm fit and healthy enough to work and have a full life, for all the pleasure it's capable of and for not giving up on me.

I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat but I guess that's the wisdom of middle age.

Sometimes I think it's more important I'm seen to be doing things despite my body and how i feel about it, hence being a burlesque dancer. If I can inspire one person to hate their body a little less then it's worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yer i struggle.. used to be a size 8.. im now a size 18, hate myself this way but have no willpower to change it i belong to 2 gyms... havent got the get up and go to actually go to any of them...

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

The last time I truly loved my body my life was turned upside down. I am now a work in progress

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally get this. I'm currently 2stone 7lb less weight than I was at the beginning of this year but I still feel just as Fat. Plus my body shape changed after the birth of my last child and it's really made me feel unattractive

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m reading all of these and I see you and I love you guys

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

How do I love it? Get a hot Italian to. Effective. Fun. Burns a few calories.

I'm going to try and answer sensibly soon. Without waffling.

I think there's something admirable about having that level of authenticity and I've enjoyed reading this thread a lot. Thank you for starting it OP.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I grew up thinking I was fat even though I had to get a size 8 dress taken in when I was 18. Subsequently I then became fat (no idea why, definitely wasn’t to do with too many chocolate bars!)

As I aged I realised I had a really good body shape that I didn’t appreciate in my youth - I could just do without the insulation I seem to have gathered all around it

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’m often surprised how sexy I find some much larger women as I thought I liked mostly small/slim. I was seeing a girl a while back gym fit size 8 and she confided in my how sexy she found my mates body, he’s huge beer drinking rugby player build , never works out , with a beer belly but he just has that swag.

What both have in common is when much bigger people are totally okay with their bodies and know they are sexy inside. There’s a sexiness there that’s hard to describe, and big is definitely more beautiful then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I could say something to help Mr Pickle, but don't think I can find anything constructive or helpful. It's easy to see the things we don't like in ourselves and wish we could just change it.

As far as I go, I was always skinny growing up and being short as well, I wanted to go to the gym because I had this idea of what women wanted in a man and while I have noticed a bit of added muscle, it has come with a bit of extra fat too due to the excess calories eaten.

I'm now in a place where I could add more muscle, but it would mean bulking more and adding extra fat as part of the process and it isn't something I can mentally do. I know it sounds like the opposite of a problem, but the issue with weight can definitely go both ways.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I quite enjoy fucking the fat off me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At my age I have lumps and bumps and it never bothers me. I look myself in the mirror, smile and think this is me, kind, honest, love a damn good giggle, so I just get on with living life with a big smile.

If a woman comes along that wants a good time and is happy to be with me, lumps and all, great, if not I just shrug it off and carry on with my own life.

Just smile, be happy, you only get one life so go and live it, forget the rest, it really isn't that important "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a fuckable barrel with big tits. Still a wet hole down there somewhere.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

I’m the biggest I’ve been (aside from when pregnant) and I feel horrible.

It’s been hard to motivate myself to change.

People comment on my weight gain and it’s never in a positive light. Makes you feel like rubbish. I’ve lost my small waist hourglass shape I had when I was smaller, and don’t feel great in underwear (even though i still have an obsession to buy more!) I hate my stomach and bum.

A guy I meet say he loves my body but I look at it and think - how can he?

I’m now eating better and walking everywhere, plus doing weights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've hated my body since a child, I always thought I was fat but looking back at pictures I wasn't I was just healthy. But all through my life I was convinced I was fat, so much so I've almost subconsciously turned myself into what I thought people thought of me. I hope that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle a lot with my body image. It's always going to be an issue for me.

I've found the best thing to do is to try and focus on having a positive mindset and embracing all the parts of my body I don't like. But getting to this point of accepting myself has taken a long time.

I've made lifestyle changes too and lost a good bit of weight which has helped, but I still have things like a tummy pouch, wobbly thighs, a little double chin and all other kinds of things you get when you're not slim. And at one point, I would have made myself feel like shit obsessing about how hideous I am. But those parts are always going to be a part of me, and I'd never ever think they are hideous when I look at someone else, so why do I have to be so god damn mean to myself about it?

It's not easy changing your mindset but the best thing you can do for your mental health is say fuck what anyone else thinks, how I look does not determine my worth or how attractive I am. You're you and you should embrace all those flaws.

I'm rambling on now but I get how tough it is. I still have my bad days. But don't let it drag you down. And you never know, with more kindness to yourself your mental health could improve improve might make you more inclined to eat better and move more. But if not, no worries. As long as your health isn't in danger there is no need to change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've struggled with my weight since my early 20's when I was quite unwell and at my heaviest a size 16/18.

I've lost weight and put it on again many times since then. Been back to a size 12 and up to a 16 again maybe 4 or 5 times.

There have been times I've not gone to special events, cancelled dates or nights out with friends because I feel I look hideous and hated the way I looked...and then turned to the ice cream to make myself feel better only perpetuating the cycle.

I'm currently loosing weight and have lost nearly one stone. One more and I'll be at my goal. I'm feeling pretty good about my body right now as I can see where it looks very different.

I'd like to be able to find a way of not being like this. Keeping my ideal weight consistently...but I eat my feelings and use food as comfort...or, I'm out socially a lot and drink cocktails, eat all the food because I'm having fun and don't care about the consequences!

I'd like to live a life where I'm not always weighing myself but if I don't my weight will creep up.

I get so disgusted with myself that I lose weight as fast as I can and it doesn't last, so, doing it slowly seems the better option. Just not as satisfying as seeing the numbers on the scale reduce quickly

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I had a 28inch waist in 2020, now it's 32. Fuming.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

I’ve put on a lot of weight the last couple of years and my photos on here are outdated, and whilst I’m clear with people on this and share a recent pic before meeting my ego still hasn’t caught up with myself and empowered me to be Fab forum transparent - though I say in my posts and messages. What’s interesting is I love and have confidence in myself more now then I did whilst thinner - how? Because it dawned on me that I’m not attracted to people purely based on looks and thus I’m not attractive to others purely based on aesthetics. I’m a caring, friendly, hopefully fun person to be with and I love that about me. My body looks after me whatever state it’s in and I’m thankful for it. I self care enough to be doing things to lose weight in terms of health but I refuse to beat myself up or deny myself joy and experiences and love whilst I’m not my optimum size.

I totally get you OP but I’d like to add to the voices that tell you you’re beautiful just as you are, but I will also fully support you in any way I can to work on where you want to get to, as a cheerleader and friend.

You are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost lots of weight due to swimming but last year of injuries and menopause I have put some back on.

I get very self conscious about my tummy and my kids were born by c-section so got a scar that means don't have the flat stomach of my youth.

Now on HRT so hoping can get back to proper exercise again

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Far from putting on weight during lock down, I actually became more puny due to giving up swimming which kept me fit and muscular.

I have actually lost size in my arms and legs, so my overall weight has reduced.

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I love my body and I have always been lean and nothing changed during the lock down. I stayed shredded like I do year round. I like the challenge of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

I've struggled with my weight from childhood

My adult weight has been anywhere between 10 and 19 stones (bear in mind I am only 5ft5)

The heaviest weight has left me with a body that I detest and struggle to accept

Rounded shoulders, slight hunch to the back, an apron belly, saggy skin when I lose weight

I am somewhere around 14 stones at the minute, so hefty but not huge

When I went down to 11 stones last year I liked how I looked in clothes, but not out of them

The belly didn't go, the tops of my arms sagged, as did the tops of my legs and my arse and under my chin

No matter of weight loss or gain will alter things now. Surgery could rid me of some of the wobble, but I would be unable to correct my posture

I now have a medical issue with my thyroid - it was too quick, hence the dramatic weight loss last year

Too much medication was prescribed and went unchecked, to the degree where the situation has reversed and I now have no thyroid function at all - Doctors are currently trying to return me to normal thyroid

I don't say any of this for sympathy or pity

Sharing is cathartic to an extent, but I also think it's important for guys to share body image battles because I think many believe it to be a largely female issue and I don't think it is - like many other things, guys just don't talk about it openly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Gyms are too expensive these days and you just find yourself slipping into a ‘cba’ kind of attitude when it comes to other forms of working out. Most of it is mental health but hating the way you look makes you feel even worse.

Stop making excuses and just go to one. Your older self will than you for it.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I've hated my body since a child, I always thought I was fat but looking back at pictures I wasn't I was just healthy. But all through my life I was convinced I was fat, so much so I've almost subconsciously turned myself into what I thought people thought of me. I hope that makes sense "

That’s the same as me, it wasn’t till I got fat that i realised I hadn’t been fat at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've struggled since the middle of last year. In that time we've got married, moved house (absolutely shambles) and I (Mr) has been made redundant twice.... We've been through some really bad times.

Today we actually ordered saxenda the weight loss injection. it's arriving on Wednesday and we're hoping that'll help us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 5'2" and weigh 19 stone. But Even when I got to 11 stone before, I still didn't like how I looked. There is no one answer. You just have to take one day at a time..Claire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Urgh, it's very rare i look at my body and like what i see... It is also expanding rapidly.. I'd like to blame menopause, but i know it is laziness and overeating

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"Urgh, it's very rare i look at my body and like what i see... It is also expanding rapidly.. I'd like to blame menopause, but i know it is laziness and overeating "
,, forgive me had a peek at you lovely figure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Urgh, it's very rare i look at my body and like what i see... It is also expanding rapidly.. I'd like to blame menopause, but i know it is laziness and overeating "

Just looking at your latest photo you look stunning x

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By *0shadesOfFilthMan
over a year ago

nearby

My mate came from holiday and was a bit pissed off with his weight gain

He's gone on a vastly reduced carb diet, no bread, no potato, black coffee etc

Lost 16 pound in first month. He’s soon 70 and does near zero exercise, sits on the digger all day and sofa every night, max 1000 steps a day.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Yeah I don't like my body. I'm like two different people - lean, toned and muscular on top but a flab-a-thon below. I do hate seeing myself in the mirror, so avoid looking.

I apparently lost 5kg earlier this year but I don't think I look any different and am wearing the same clothes etc.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"My mate came from holiday and was a bit pissed off with his weight gain

He's gone on a vastly reduced carb diet, no bread, no potato, black coffee etc

Lost 16 pound in first month. He’s soon 70 and does near zero exercise, sits on the digger all day and sofa every night, max 1000 steps a day. "
i would die without bread

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

There can be a difference between loving your body & being completely happy with it. I'm a realist. I know I have loads of flaws, but I'm ok with that. I was alot heavier than I am now & I've made lots of changes to myself over the years. This imperfect body carried my child, has done some amazing things & helps me to get alot of pleasure...am I completely happy with it? No.

I too have put weight on & I don't feel very happy about this, but I'm choosing to focus on the positives & the fact that some people seem to appreciate what I look like sometimes!!

I started making some changes today- I arranged a personal trainer & have eaten healthily. I'm confident that I can improve how I feel about myself, even if it's slow progress.

Don't be too hard of yourself- you look great & I doubt I'm the only one to think that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean look at Chris bumstead - 4 time mr Olympia and considered by a lot of guys as the dream body to have but he still looks in the mirror and doesn’t like what he sees

I guess with what you said about the gym OP, I have that attitude regularly with the gym and no one is 100% motivated the majority of time but it’s just getting in and paying your dues. Think why a lot of people struggle with the gym and working out is beCause those no instant reward/gratification (apart from happy endorphins) and we live in a world where everything is based around instant reward or gratification especially with social media and phones etc

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

Yes. I've struggled with my weight since I was a teenager due to a myriad of reasons, including the difficulty in navigating the dissonance between societal beauty standards, courtesy of a rather mixed heritage.

I remember being sixteen and having to buy a size 18 prom dress. The shame I felt. About four years ago I reached my heaviest weight. Couldn't stand how I looked, avoided mirrors, having my photo taken. You get the idea.

And then I started losing weight, blips here and there. At times I felt uncomfortable with my changing body; I was rather fond of the invisibility cape of being very overweight. People focused on me for my mind rather than my physicality and that suited me - childhood comments meant I placed far greater value on intellect than physical appearance. Anyway, I'd dress in baggy dresses, always black and always with a cardigan.

Over the past year or so things have changed. I started appreciating my body more. Going to the gym and enjoying that feeling of working out until my legs are wobbling. The soft curves when I wear jumpers, knitted dresses. How good it feels to have a lover truly worship my body and take delight in the flesh under his fingertips, relax naked next to someone (or two!) and enjoy the softness of my skin against theirs. The strength my body possesses. The enjoyment of feeling my bum jiggle with every thrust of a good fuck. The way I look in lingerie - unapologetically cute, chubby.

I know I'm not beautiful. I'm okay with that. I feel sexy. Not in spite of my body, no. It's because I've reached a point where I actively like it and heck, sometimes have confidence in it.

You don't have to shrink yourself to be beautiful you know? That space you're taking up, whatever size you are? Do it with love, with pride in who you are. If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself.

But in the mean time? Don't apologise for existing.

Don't believe you're any less beautiful, any less worthy of love, of desire, of doing anything you want to. You're far more than your body, of course you are. You're also beautiful because that body is *yours*, no one else's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always had a hateful relationship with my body and myself in general, It's changed a lot over the years. I do have a tendency to eat my feelings so if I'm in a low period, it's easy for the pounds to creep back on. I'm two stone lighter than I was a few months ago and I do feel better for it, but whatever my size in the present day I have to be kind to myself for the future day. I'm a working progress but the confidence I have in who I am outweighs my dress size.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Be the change you want to see

Our bodies are just clay and our brains are the sculptor. For me I just change what I am not liking visibly .

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Be the change you want to see

Our bodies are just clay and our brains are the sculptor. For me I just change what I am not liking visibly .

Easy to say, but not so easy to do, if your head isn't letting you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All in the mind firstly!

So much preassure! If you let it be.

You cannot ever please people, because they are the very whom change the Goal posts,esp on the internet and apps.

Its all a control tool for the mind.

health,peace of mind,clear vision and purpose one should have daily!

We was not created in looks given to us. To be put in boxes by others. .

" we only are confined by the very walls we build ourselves "

Love you! Nobody else will. If they say they do? Its what you can do for them. Now mostly everybody is a ATM.

Peace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be the change you want to see

Our bodies are just clay and our brains are the sculptor. For me I just change what I am not liking visibly .

Mind over matter,do you mind,does it matter.

Easy to say, but not so easy to do, if your head isn't letting you. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

I know I'm not beautiful. I'm okay with that. I feel sexy. Not in spite of my body, no. It's because I've reached a point where I actively like it and heck, sometimes have confidence in it.

But in the mean time? Don't apologise for existing.

childhood trauma is real . And many of us carrying that along as adults.

We have not had time to heal. Not release it full nor flush or expell it. Then we add more layers from many around us. We think the internet is helping. It actually is not,we are going deeper in a bigger hole.

Peace.

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

Had the same problem, enjoyed having a drink every so often and WFH made it easy to do that.

Havent had a drink in about 4 months now and dont miss it.

Joined a gym and put my headphones on and zone out for 90mins.

Not snacking as much and eating healthy.

Never too late to make changes.

Him

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By *atnayCouple
over a year ago

STEVENAGE

"I've always had a hateful relationship with my body and myself in general, It's changed a lot over the years. I do have a tendency to eat my feelings so if I'm in a low period, it's easy for the pounds to creep back on. I'm two stone lighter than I was a few months ago and I do feel better for it, but whatever my size in the present day I have to be kind to myself for the future day. I'm a working progress but the confidence I have in who I am outweighs my dress size."

You just described me.

I too have gone up and down on the scales and dress sizes.

Currently in a realy good place with my eating habbits. A few years of feeling realy low left me dangerously over weight. I was a comfort eater. After a pre diabetic warning shot from the GP last May. I read up on how to reverse my HC reading. Low carb/sugar was recomended. I've since lost 7st in 12 months and still slowly going lower. I still enjoy eating as I have learned to adapt meals to suit my needs.

But regardless, I am still the same person. Sure I've dropped a few dress sizes and feel fitter. But Im still me.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I'm not going to be much help here I'm afraid as I've never looked in the mirror and been happy with the reflection.

But I tell myself my body is still getting me through this journey called life so it's can't be that bad

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I'm not going to be much help here I'm afraid as I've never looked in the mirror and been happy with the reflection.

But I tell myself my body is still getting me through this journey called life so it's can't be that bad

Your body is amazing

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

"Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?"

Yeah massively... Was the heaviest and most unfit ive every been in feb... Lost a stone since then... 3 more to go... And a shit load of exercise..... I really dislike my ever changing body and tell myself to make changes all the time... Its freakin hard though isnt it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

Most on here eat more, or cover themselves in tattoos

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

I could be 9 stone and still think I am to big it's shit ..

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

Most on here eat more, or cover themselves in tattoos

Mmmmmmmmmm. Supportive

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I'm not going to be much help here I'm afraid as I've never looked in the mirror and been happy with the reflection.

But I tell myself my body is still getting me through this journey called life so it's can't be that bad

Your body is amazing

Behave

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

Yes I found putting on weight more since the menopause is a problem

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

Most on here eat more, or cover themselves in tattoos

Mmmmmmmmmm. Supportive

I love how people just show themselves the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

Most on here eat more, or cover themselves in tattoos

Mmmmmmmmmm. Supportive

I love how people just show themselves the door

I am more amused by the comment being posted by a bloke with a little paunchy belly

I was expecting an adonis

I can't see any tattoos though, so I assume he's a comfort eater

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

Most on here eat more, or cover themselves in tattoos

Mmmmmmmmmm. Supportive

I love how people just show themselves the door

I am more amused by the comment being posted by a bloke with a little paunchy belly

I was expecting an adonis

I can't see any tattoos though, so I assume he's a comfort eater

Are people not allowed an opinion.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doesn't matter if you're 8stone or 80, we all end up in the same wooden box 6 feet in the dirt.

Enjoy every day.

Merry everything

Happy always.

Wisest words uttered and shared to date.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

You know? Anyway I’m always asking people to be vulnerable in threads and I feel a bit vulnerable myself today so yeah.

So:

Does anyone else struggle with weight? How do you love your ever changing body? What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

I have had a love hate relationship with my body over the years, currently fallen out of love with it at the moment.

The only thing that works for me, is getting rid of the weight. Recently I has been a hard slog to get motivated to exercise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m often surprised how sexy I find some much larger women as I thought I liked mostly small/slim. I was seeing a girl a while back gym fit size 8 and she confided in my how sexy she found my mates body, he’s huge beer drinking rugby player build , never works out , with a beer belly but he just has that swag.

Well shared! Its all a mindset amd comes from deep withing really.

Many think there is a Secret formula! Lol.

Hard word,persistance and time gets the results.

Many dont and wont see the Struggles & pain.

Many will wait at the finish line!

"Build People,so they then can build others to build more "

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"What do you do or tell yourself so you believe you’re beautiful?

Most on here eat more, or cover themselves in tattoos

Mmmmmmmmmm. Supportive

I love how people just show themselves the door

I am more amused by the comment being posted by a bloke with a little paunchy belly

I was expecting an adonis

I can't see any tattoos though, so I assume he's a comfort eater

Are people not allowed an opinion.?"

They are, but opinions can be challenged, especially when they convey derogatory ideas.

I'm sure if I ventured an "opinion" about the size of penii or men's beer bellies, people would have plenty to say in response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well shared! Its all a mindset amd comes from deep withing really.

Many think there is a Secret formula! Lol.

Hard word,persistance and time gets the results.

Many dont and wont see the Struggles & pain.

Many will wait at the finish line!

"Build People,so they then can build others to build more "

Sorry phone typo's!

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