FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Winks

Jump to newest
 

By *ugardilf OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester

Aren’t winks on here the equivalent of a swipe left?

A signal to an interest in that person/profile

I know some like personalised messages to show someone has put the effort in, but it’s not a job interview or marriage proposal, it’s a “from what I see I find you attractive, let’s talk”

Or should prospective meets put more effort in?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure they work! Messages seem to be better!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

It's lazy, just send a msg.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Everyone is different.

I don't even look at my winks. I figured that if the most effort to initiate contact someone is putting in is a single button click, then they're not going to stand out for me.

I do know people who check them often to see if people who have indicated interest are interesting to them, though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *night in armourMan
over a year ago

stafford

If we do t send a message will we get spanked mm

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

Everyone has a different opinion on winks some love and some hate.

Do what ever you feel is suitable for you as you will never know the persons view on them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s swipe right btw.

I use the winks, out of a mix of sheer laziness and I don’t see the point in sending a big message to those who might not feel that i am what they are looking for.

If they wink back, I message. If I land on a profile and it says I winked previously but no response, I don’t bother them further

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Also you're married... That might be your main issue.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wink means I have masturbated over your pictures but I don't think you wanted to know that!

Or when I receive a wink, sorry I must have caught the wrong button!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

For me, a wink I send is “I like your profile, I’ll send a message shortly”

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

Bunch of winkers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

I think a wink is a good start ! Shows who's interested in you without a "War and Peace" message, that can follow

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

It's an ice breaker. A little wave from a distance. Might get a wave back or not. If not, you know its not reciprocated and leave it to that. As others said, some love them and use them, others not. I personally think they serve a purpose in a small way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mean a swipe right?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People say its lazy, but as a single guy, you can send say 10 messages - all well written and appropriate to the person you're sending them to and nothing gets a response.

Women are overwhelmed with short, dumb, pointless messages and dick pics, but those of us who take time & care over messaging get about a 99% rejection/ignore rate.

While it takes time for women to respond to all the bullshit they get, for the rest of us it takes a lot of time & effort to get nowhere.

It's a double edged sword.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

I tend not to wink unless I receive one first

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rodie568Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

We know some people like it and others don’t but we feel as though it’s a good place to start as if we drop a wink and someone looks at our profile and does not respond we know they don’t have interest always read the bio to make sure that they don’t have anything about not winking in it. If we get a wink back we will drop a message or the other person could message us back. It’s a good starting point for us we feel

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We know some people like it and others don’t but we feel as though it’s a good place to start as if we drop a wink and someone looks at our profile and does not respond we know they don’t have interest always read the bio to make sure that they don’t have anything about not winking in it. If we get a wink back we will drop a message or the other person could message us back. It’s a good starting point for us we feel "

I concur

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Winks are lazy people’s weapon of self destruction, because they’re too lazy indeed, to actually read the profile and create curated message.

I ignore them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Winks are lazy people’s weapon of self destruction, because they’re too lazy indeed, to actually read the profile and create curated message.

I ignore them."

Or, see my message further up on this thread for why sometimes people use winks.

I think they should be seen as an indication of interest based on profile content.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I view a wink as a 'hey, I like your profile'.

Sending one back says 'hey I like yours too'.

Then you or they message.

Simples

I tend to think a wink sent is from someone that doesn't want to cold call and be regarded as a chancer and wants an OK to send a message knowing you are at least interested in their profile.

But then there's all the winks you get as its just another way to get your attention.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rooperRedMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

I have one wink that's not from a man, and the profile is hidden!

Stopped sending them as it's pointless. Same with messages really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"Winks are lazy people’s weapon of self destruction, because they’re too lazy indeed, to actually read the profile and create curated message.

I ignore them.

Or, see my message further up on this thread for why sometimes people use winks.

I think they should be seen as an indication of interest based on profile content."

I saw your message, and I still stand by what I said. Firstly, women who know what they are looking for are not inundated with messages, this is a common misconception.

Secondly, there’s still many other factors of mutual attraction.

A message gives one an opportunity to show their personality, whether the wink doesn’t.

Hope this makes sense.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Winks are lazy people’s weapon of self destruction, because they’re too lazy indeed, to actually read the profile and create curated message.

I ignore them.

Or, see my message further up on this thread for why sometimes people use winks.

I think they should be seen as an indication of interest based on profile content.

I saw your message, and I still stand by what I said. Firstly, women who know what they are looking for are not inundated with messages, this is a common misconception.

Secondly, there’s still many other factors of mutual attraction.

A message gives one an opportunity to show their personality, whether the wink doesn’t.

Hope this makes sense."

Yes it makes sense, but I think my point still stands - it isn't always laziness, it's frustration. My Outbox is FULL of unread messages because of all the willy wavers and idiots on here. It's just not possible for people to read/respond to all the messages they receive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send winks. People send me winks.

My feeling is that it’s not lazy and actually that they’re similar to right swipes on dating apps.

Generally I feel like if I really wanted to message someone I could, though I also feel that sending first messages can be like sending in a job application- you get excited and hopeful and then just don’t hear back (which is fine btw) . so I tend not to send them as much and generally if I get a wink back then I might.

But overall I tend not to send messages at all as much because it’s just lots of - you’re not for me blah blah. I feel much better about myself for not doing it and putting that pressure on not expectations of the site. If someone is really interested I truly believe they will find you.

So I don’t think they’re lazy, I think they’re good feelers that you can send out without feeling rejection in the same way as sending a first message. Not everyone is going to be supremely confident messaging first.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I like a wink, we've had some great meets that started with a wink.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like a wink, we've had some great meets that started with a wink.

Mrs "

I winked you 2 months ago and nothing. No reply, no phone number, no face pic, nothing. You didn't even tell me how amazing and attractive I am!

Shocking behaviour

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I don't really look at mine often, as they're usually from people I'm not looking for ie miles away/attached

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugardilf OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester


"You mean a swipe right? "

You can tell I’ve never used

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Yes it makes sense, but I think my point still stands - it isn't always laziness, it's frustration. My Outbox is FULL of unread messages because of all the willy wavers and idiots on here. It's just not possible for people to read/respond to all the messages they receive."

That your outbox is full may be the problem. In years on and off this site I don't think I've seen more than 20 profiles that actually jumped out at me as compatible and with a liklihood of actually working out.

I see winks as a blanket wink everything female and see what winks back.

I see short 'just to see if you're interested' messages as another blanket shot where any viable hole is a goal. Most times I'll fire back a quick no thanks, but some days I just haven't the energy to deal with even giving it that much of my time given the effort that's been put forth.

The people I've met from here have all either come at me with something actually interesting to discuss, or I reached out to them in the way that I prefer to be approached.

But then, I do identify as more poly than swing. What I enjoy and what I expect are different to what others may enjoy and expect.

The shitty one line messages just highlight the difference when someone of actual interest gets in touch. They're not detrimental to the people I would connect with anyway.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"I like a wink, we've had some great meets that started with a wink.

Mrs

I winked you 2 months ago and nothing. No reply, no phone number, no face pic, nothing. You didn't even tell me how amazing and attractive I am!

Shocking behaviour"

So you did, but you forgot to send your boobs to the inbox so no can do I'm afraid

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes it makes sense, but I think my point still stands - it isn't always laziness, it's frustration. My Outbox is FULL of unread messages because of all the willy wavers and idiots on here. It's just not possible for people to read/respond to all the messages they receive.

That your outbox is full may be the problem. In years on and off this site I don't think I've seen more than 20 profiles that actually jumped out at me as compatible and with a liklihood of actually working out.

I see winks as a blanket wink everything female and see what winks back.

I see short 'just to see if you're interested' messages as another blanket shot where any viable hole is a goal. Most times I'll fire back a quick no thanks, but some days I just haven't the energy to deal with even giving it that much of my time given the effort that's been put forth.

The people I've met from here have all either come at me with something actually interesting to discuss, or I reached out to them in the way that I prefer to be approached.

But then, I do identify as more poly than swing. What I enjoy and what I expect are different to what others may enjoy and expect.

The shitty one line messages just highlight the difference when someone of actual interest gets in touch. They're not detrimental to the people I would connect with anyway."

Why is a full Outbox my problem? I don't mean I have 500 unread messages, I mean if I send 10 across say a month, 9 will likely never be read - and this is a numbers issue as much as anything. I'm not complaining just to be clear, it's merely observational and I don't expect a response from anyone - I'm not that entitled!

I've been doing this for 20 years, so I know the drill very well - also I'm not a swinger either; way more involved in the poly/ENM/Kink/BDSM/party scene than a swinger so I see things from both ends (so to speak) as I'm sure you do.

There's an immediate perception and judgment that every man on here is a knuckle grazing, sex maniac whose only out to get himself laid and doesn't give a damn about other people - this is not true of all of us, but it can be frustrating when the numbers aspect of this site comes into play.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

A wink from a single male means to us they can't be bothered reading and so yes indeed the swipe left/right they like the look of our pictures ( mainly Mrs4's though) and so are chancing their arm and we never respond to winks but might have a look at the profile it came from more out of curiosity though !!! and agree on most are just willy wavers and so just ends up us blocking them !! and fall into the catergory of "Pulse Optional" types xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"

it isn't always laziness, it's frustration. "

If someone winks out of frustration, it kinda proves my point.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

it isn't always laziness, it's frustration.

If someone winks out of frustration, it kinda proves my point.

"

But you're missing the point - it's not sent IN frustration, it's done because of all the time spent sending nice messages often doesn't work either!

I'm going to stop now because this is going round in circles.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Incidentally - I don't think I've ever met anyone I've ONLY winked at in probably 13 years on here. Messages are the only way to actually make a conversation happen.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Winks belong in the Fab Archives as a once superfluous feature. I tend to ignore the ones I receive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top