FabSwingers.com forum: Biggest kitchen fails

By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I just knocked a packet of Starbucks ground coffee over on the work surface while stirring the coffee.

Of course it fell into the tiny gap between the surface and the fridge freezer, upside down, pouring almost the entire contents onto the floor right at the back of the fridge. As I rescued the packet from the cavity with tongues, the remain contents predictably emptied out as well.

That can just sit there for a few days , the effort of pulling out the fridge freezer, sweeping and mopping is just too much to comprehend.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sweetcorn, when I pull out the pack from the freezer it's always upside down

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

" As I rescued the packet from the cavity with tongues "

Sounds rather erotic. Whose tongues ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Sweetcorn, when I pull out the pack from the freezer it's always upside down "

Yeah those little frozen corns love to be free.

I just thought of another from long ago. I had a new build with beige carpets throughout and white walls once and tripped up the top of the stairs with a tray of mugs of hot chocolate for the girls. I got the stairs, landing, bathroom and a bedroom plus 3 walls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" As I rescued the packet from the cavity with tongues

Sounds rather erotic. Whose tongues ?"

The mind boggles...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Oh HN. Not what you need when you need coffee.

I managed to drop a ceramic dish once. That should have been the end of the story but it also contained lasagne I'd spent the best part of a day making.

And it was for a dinner party. About twenty minutes before people arrived.

It became a wine and nibbly bits night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

" As I rescued the packet from the cavity with tongues

Sounds rather erotic. Whose tongues ?

The mind boggles..."

Honestly there is nothing erotic about this story — photo evidence just uploaded

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Bag69Man
over a year ago

Derby

Smashed a full bottle of olive oil all over the kitchen floor once. One of the longest cleanup operations in living history.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, once, many many years ago, when I’d first moved out, I set fire to fish fingers, completely panicked and just left it! (My dads a fireman, I should have been able to deal with it).

I do sometimes drop my whole cup of coffee when it’s freshly made too

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I got back from work one day about 9 years ago to discover that while my husband had been in the shower our 18 month old had found an open 1kg packet of tandoori masala in the kitchen and taken it for a trip around the house. The entire house smelt of curry. There were yellow stains on the carpet in the sitting room, the stairs and upstairs. That took a fair amount of cleaning. Then a week or so later I found more in the ball pit where he'd poured it. I had to clean each ball as well as the pit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had an accident with a bottle of salsa once. It had been at the back of the fridge a while and I hadn’t noticed. When I lifted it out to throw it in the bin it the lid popped off and it exploded everywhere!! All over me, the walls, it was even on my roof, it was just a mess. I’m lucky the lid never hit me in the face or it would have had my eye out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Sex in the kitchen. I'm not quite sure how you battle all the elements of risk, plus there's always a chance of getting your hand stuck in the toaster

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once forget to add the flour, that I'd already measured out, to cake batter

The smell alerted me and i realised I'd made a greasy, sweet omelette

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember when my mum had op and wasn't allowed or upto cooking do me and dad had to do ours, I did his beans on toast and my spag on toast went cool so I put the plate on the gas to heat the whole thing up....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"Smashed a full bottle of olive oil all over the kitchen floor once. One of the longest cleanup operations in living history."

I’d just probably move out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

We tried making one of those plaster kits, the ones where you both put hands in and it makes a sculpture.

Mixed it but cuck thought would be good idea to put big spoon in electric drill to make sure correctly mixed. Worked well till let go of pot before drill had stopped, pot went flying across kitchen, sprayed everything with with plaster of Paris. Took two days to clean and still finding lumps of it in very strange places

Lxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ooking4othersMan
over a year ago

Here ...

"I got back from work one day about 9 years ago to discover that while my husband had been in the shower our 18 month old had found an open 1kg packet of tandoori masala in the kitchen and taken it for a trip around the house. The entire house smelt of curry. There were yellow stains on the carpet in the sitting room, the stairs and upstairs. That took a fair amount of cleaning. Then a week or so later I found more in the ball pit where he'd poured it. I had to clean each ball as well as the pit

TOP TIP - put the balls in the washing machine to clean them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

So many of these. It would appear I'm either unfortunate or an idiot, probably the latter

Dropped a full pot of pasta on the floor on the way to sink to drain it.

Dropped a full dinner plate in P's lap as I was putting it in front of him.

Hit a pot of pasta sauce with my elbow ,that shit got everywhere.

Dropped raw eggs on the floor,that was yuck to clean.

My youngest however poured a bottle of cooking oil over himself and the floor. Same offending kid also got a hold of a tub of cocoa powder and coated himself and most of the bloody house in it

Em x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dropped some season in the floor and didn’t label it. No idea what it is but it’s yellow like sand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Dropped some season in the floor and didn’t label it. No idea what it is but it’s yellow like sand "

Turmeric ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

Ex dropped a bottle of olive oil on the floor, the noise alerted the cat, who ran in, paused, then just DASHED through the oil, sliding all over the place. Clean up from just the oil would've been better than trying to catch a hyperactive, oily cat who decided to bounce off the sofas and up the stairs!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dropped some season in the floor and didn’t label it. No idea what it is but it’s yellow like sand

Turmeric ?"

I buy mixtures. I know garlic salt is one of the ingredients

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Back in day I had one of those ovens with just a glass door. Went to get whatever was cooking out. As I opened the door the glass shattered into a million pieces. Me being me and being barefooted, nobody was in so had to walk over the glass to get the dustpan and brush etc. Luckily it was safety glass and only got one piece wedged in my foot.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Three things.

I was heating up a bowl of baked beans in the microwave when it exploded, coating every surface. Microwaves are basically tiny square boxes - how the fuck does it take so long to clean and how am I finding crusty bean juice weeks later?!!

I was making a smoothie and forgot to put the lid on before shaking it. Powder and water everywhere. Still finding splashes.

Rented my flat to a friend for a year. Not only did she turn my kitchen into a disgusting hovel that would be damned to hell by environmental health officers, she managed to get red wine on my nice new white ceiling. The fucking ceiling!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *est kept secretsCouple
over a year ago

Tamworth

No cooking disasters but still haven't finished all the tiling, grouting or platerered the ceiling and it's been 3 years lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread