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By *oofy321 OP   Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Where to start...this is not a question or a rant

Im on a few dating sites and as a 50yr old man its a kick to the ego

I take dating sites seriously

Write a good profile about my likes

Send great messages about common likes...and in 4 months not 1 reply!! I confess this dents my self esteem

Am I destined to be single?

I like my own company but hate being alone

Oh I know what this post is...its a woe is me thread!!!

Oh well it is what it is

Carry on fabbers and have a great weekend x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dating apps are awful. You get that initial flurry of matches because they want to hook you in, the algorithm pushes what it thinks you will like, then after a few weeks it's just rubbish.

I also find the whole online dating experience shallow and not great. There are honest nice people online but also too many who mess you about.

At least with fab people are a bit more honest about what they are looking for ... and slightly easier to spot those who are attached and their partners do not know. Not that I use fab to date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sucks. You’re certainly not unattractive. And if you’re putting in the effort I don’t know why it’s not working out. I will say that it could be age on some apps? As in there’s less people in your age range (assuming it’s the same as your fab one) on those apps? The apps are full of people from like 18 to like 32 I feel. I feel that’s why I’ve had success on them.

Don’t let it affect your confidence, OP. You seem great from what I’ve seen of you.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

Would you be comfortable giving us a snapshot of your bio on that profile ? Maybe the ladies on here could give you some feedback ?

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

For men dating sites are very simple. If you are not in the top 10-15% category, you will be virtually invisible to women.

Don't waste your time.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The idea of a dating app fills me with dread. I think I'd prefer in person events like the old fashioned marriage bureaux used to run. A cheese and wine evening where everyone is encouraged by a woman with a tight perm to mingle. I'm joking about the perm but seriously I think people would be far more receptive to finding our more about a person if they were obliged to spend ten minutes chatting

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Dating in modern times sucks buddy, I was talking to someone and she asked me if we were going to go on a date so arranged one and then day before she cancelled because she said still had wounds from previous relationship.

I think she just found someone she liked more so blew me out.

I tend to just wait for them to like me and see if get a match and I don't go on the apps regularly.

Stop thinking about it and wanting it to happen and eventually it will

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I think you'll have more chance on Fab than some of these so called dating apps.

Don't let them put you off though. You may find some of the ones you have to pay for will suit your needs a little better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For men dating sites are very simple. If you are not in the top 10-15% category, you will be virtually invisible to women.

Don't waste your time."

Nice to know I’m in that category actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's no different for women, trust me. I would always reply if I matched someone and they sent me an interesting message.

You need tough skin for dating apps. If it's affecting your self esteem I would come off for a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dating apps are no different to being on here - 99% of the messages you send will be ignored/deleted/read and not responded to because people have so much choice. It makes zero difference if you're attractive, funny, tall (this is always a deal breaker and I'm 6'2), rich, in good shape etc.

It's become like shopping, so people will 'buy' the exact item them want from the 'shop' rather than just pick up any item and pay for it. Y'know?

It's the same for everyone OP, you're not alone in any of this.

Pro tip: re your profile on here, add some content/words. Although my profile has lots of words on it and I still get ignored by 99% of people I message. It's just the way it is!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I do fine I now prefer Bumble, it’s less effort as women have to message first.

Tinder is 2nd best, better than here for dating as you don’t get messages unless you like someone first.

The women on bumble are more into relationships and dating than sex , tinder is 50/50 here is mostly sex so between the three you can take your pick

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Just to add bumble is £200 for life, Tinder I think £100 per year, here is £60. If you try not paying you will be very disappointed and get nothing

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By *oofy321 OP   Man
over a year ago

moon base zero


"Dating apps are no different to being on here - 99% of the messages you send will be ignored/deleted/read and not responded to because people have so much choice. It makes zero difference if you're attractive, funny, tall (this is always a deal breaker and I'm 6'2), rich, in good shape etc.

It's become like shopping, so people will 'buy' the exact item them want from the 'shop' rather than just pick up any item and pay for it. Y'know?

It's the same for everyone OP, you're not alone in any of this.

Pro tip: re your profile on here, add some content/words. Although my profile has lots of words on it and I still get ignored by 99% of people I message. It's just the way it is!"

Um not looking for anyone on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dating apps are no different to being on here - 99% of the messages you send will be ignored/deleted/read and not responded to because people have so much choice. It makes zero difference if you're attractive, funny, tall (this is always a deal breaker and I'm 6'2), rich, in good shape etc.

It's become like shopping, so people will 'buy' the exact item them want from the 'shop' rather than just pick up any item and pay for it. Y'know?

It's the same for everyone OP, you're not alone in any of this.

Pro tip: re your profile on here, add some content/words. Although my profile has lots of words on it and I still get ignored by 99% of people I message. It's just the way it is!

Um not looking for anyone on here"

Well maybe concentrate on the rest of my post then.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Honestly... It's not much better for women either.

The only interest I get, is the same as on here anyway. Guys looking to tick something off on their list, but dressing up things in the facade of wanting to date/have a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dating apps are hard work OP, it's not just you that finds this, I promise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dating apps are hard work OP, it's not just you that finds this, I promise. "

And this is from someone who advertises that they're hard work, OP!

Preach!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Dating apps can knock most people's confidence. I don't think they are easy for that many people.

Over the years I've tried them all and very rarely got replies never mind an actual date.

My face must be truly terrifying.

I've worked out I'm not pretty enough for Tinder, not desperate enough for POF, not slim enough for Match (men specify what they want you to weigh on their profiles) and too lazy to contact anyone on Bumble.

Part of the issue with dating apps is that everyone is clearly too busy climbing mountains, rescuing goats, hanging out at the gym and/ or any of the other profile clichés or fads that they don't have time to do anything else!

In all seriousness I think they are OK for some but for me they are pointless

Full of people saying one thing and meaning another.

I prefer the direct approach and honesty of people's wants and needs here.

And possibly I'm realising that actually being single isn't all that bad

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

[Removed by poster at 25/05/23 11:20:15]

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By *oofy321 OP   Man
over a year ago

moon base zero


"Dating apps are no different to being on here - 99% of the messages you send will be ignored/deleted/read and not responded to because people have so much choice. It makes zero difference if you're attractive, funny, tall (this is always a deal breaker and I'm 6'2), rich, in good shape etc.

It's become like shopping, so people will 'buy' the exact item them want from the 'shop' rather than just pick up any item and pay for it. Y'know?

It's the same for everyone OP, you're not alone in any of this.

Pro tip: re your profile on here, add some content/words. Although my profile has lots of words on it and I still get ignored by 99% of people I message. It's just the way it is!

Um not looking for anyone on here

Well maybe concentrate on the rest of my post then."

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Where to start...this is not a question or a rant

Im on a few dating sites and as a 50yr old man its a kick to the ego

I take dating sites seriously

Write a good profile about my likes

Send great messages about common likes...and in 4 months not 1 reply!! I confess this dents my self esteem

Am I destined to be single?

I like my own company but hate being alone

Oh I know what this post is...its a woe is me thread!!!

Oh well it is what it is

Carry on fabbers and have a great weekend x"
The best place to meet women is out and about at a dance club (salsa) or in the coffee shop or at the swimming baths if you rely on the internet /technology you'll be doomed

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Whatever happened to meeting someone in the "real" world?

Like at work, or at a bar, or in my case on our morning commute on the train?

You see someone you like, you smile, you exchange words.....you ask them out for a drink or coffee, it's all become very difficult and it really doesn't need to be.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Whatever happened to meeting someone in the "real" world?

Like at work, or at a bar, or in my case on our morning commute on the train?

You see someone you like, you smile, you exchange words.....you ask them out for a drink or coffee, it's all become very difficult and it really doesn't need to be.

"
exactly this when i used to commute everyone sat reading newspaper or a book not talking i always managed to get talking to someone in fact the train is the best place to meet

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I have given up on online dating since discovering they are all exactly the same as Fab but the only difference is you put your face pictures instead your boobs.

As I’m ugly and undateable, and pretty much happy to be single, I’ll stick with Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whatever happened to meeting someone in the "real" world?

Like at work, or at a bar, or in my case on our morning commute on the train?

You see someone you like, you smile, you exchange words.....you ask them out for a drink or coffee, it's all become very difficult and it really doesn't need to be.

"

Because we've been conditioned into believing that the world is a dangerous place, and everyone is out to get us. Believe me, I've lived in London, Bangkok and LA, all big cities, and approaching strangers is considered very poor form - people are afraid to speak to others a lot of the time.

Meeting people 'organically' is dying out big time. Maybe in bars d*unk, yes, but that's something teenagers do - for adults, meeting people outside the online realm is becoming increasingly difficult.

That said, I'll talk to anyone and have met a few people offline.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Whatever happened to meeting someone in the "real" world?

Like at work, or at a bar, or in my case on our morning commute on the train?

You see someone you like, you smile, you exchange words.....you ask them out for a drink or coffee, it's all become very difficult and it really doesn't need to be.

Because we've been conditioned into believing that the world is a dangerous place, and everyone is out to get us. Believe me, I've lived in London, Bangkok and LA, all big cities, and approaching strangers is considered very poor form - people are afraid to speak to others a lot of the time.

Meeting people 'organically' is dying out big time. Maybe in bars d*unk, yes, but that's something teenagers do - for adults, meeting people outside the online realm is becoming increasingly difficult.

That said, I'll talk to anyone and have met a few people offline. "

Meeting online, through friends when out or people you get to know through sport, hobbies etc etc this is all the real world.

Why is being approached by complete strangers wanting sex when out enjoying yourself with friends somehow more appropriate?

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By *oofy321 OP   Man
over a year ago

moon base zero


"Whatever happened to meeting someone in the "real" world?

Like at work, or at a bar, or in my case on our morning commute on the train?

You see someone you like, you smile, you exchange words.....you ask them out for a drink or coffee, it's all become very difficult and it really doesn't need to be.

"

For me I work long hours,very rarely get a weekend off plus I've not dated for over 20yrs

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Where to start...this is not a question or a rant

Im on a few dating sites and as a 50yr old man its a kick to the ego

I take dating sites seriously

Write a good profile about my likes

Send great messages about common likes...and in 4 months not 1 reply!! I confess this dents my self esteem

Am I destined to be single?

I like my own company but hate being alone

Oh I know what this post is...its a woe is me thread!!!

Oh well it is what it is

Carry on fabbers and have a great weekend x"

Sorry to hear you’re struggling, OP. I’ve been online dating (on and off) since 2012 and it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions!

I’m still trying because the alternative is not trying and that definitely gets me nothing.

As with many others, it really is the only viable method to meet people, save leaving it to fate.

Not sure whether this would apply to you, but I do sometimes get a bit negative about it and I’m sure that comes across. No matter how shit it seems, first interactions with anyone need to be brimming with positivity and happiness

Perhaps an overhaul of your pics and bio would make you feel ‘fresher’ and seem like a new prospect to potential partners?

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whatever happened to meeting someone in the "real" world?

Like at work, or at a bar, or in my case on our morning commute on the train?

You see someone you like, you smile, you exchange words.....you ask them out for a drink or coffee, it's all become very difficult and it really doesn't need to be.

Because we've been conditioned into believing that the world is a dangerous place, and everyone is out to get us. Believe me, I've lived in London, Bangkok and LA, all big cities, and approaching strangers is considered very poor form - people are afraid to speak to others a lot of the time.

Meeting people 'organically' is dying out big time. Maybe in bars d*unk, yes, but that's something teenagers do - for adults, meeting people outside the online realm is becoming increasingly difficult.

That said, I'll talk to anyone and have met a few people offline.

Meeting online, through friends when out or people you get to know through sport, hobbies etc etc this is all the real world.

Why is being approached by complete strangers wanting sex when out enjoying yourself with friends somehow more appropriate? "

I don't think either is more appropriate - I'm just saying that meeting people in the flesh is less common these days because of the Internet. I have no problem with either, but I do see the difference/value in meeting people in the real world, over an Internet dating app.

Neither is wrong/more appropriate, just different. And I definitely don't approach strangers in the street for sex because I'm not a maniac who hassles strangers in the street.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"Whatever happened to meeting someone in the "real" world?

Like at work, or at a bar, or in my case on our morning commute on the train?

You see someone you like, you smile, you exchange words.....you ask them out for a drink or coffee, it's all become very difficult and it really doesn't need to be.

Because we've been conditioned into believing that the world is a dangerous place, and everyone is out to get us. Believe me, I've lived in London, Bangkok and LA, all big cities, and approaching strangers is considered very poor form - people are afraid to speak to others a lot of the time.

Meeting people 'organically' is dying out big time. Maybe in bars d*unk, yes, but that's something teenagers do - for adults, meeting people outside the online realm is becoming increasingly difficult.

That said, I'll talk to anyone and have met a few people offline.

Meeting online, through friends when out or people you get to know through sport, hobbies etc etc this is all the real world.

Why is being approached by complete strangers wanting sex when out enjoying yourself with friends somehow more appropriate? "

You are mixing up dating with swinging I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whatever happened to meeting someone in the "real" world?

Like at work, or at a bar, or in my case on our morning commute on the train?

You see someone you like, you smile, you exchange words.....you ask them out for a drink or coffee, it's all become very difficult and it really doesn't need to be.

Because we've been conditioned into believing that the world is a dangerous place, and everyone is out to get us. Believe me, I've lived in London, Bangkok and LA, all big cities, and approaching strangers is considered very poor form - people are afraid to speak to others a lot of the time.

Meeting people 'organically' is dying out big time. Maybe in bars d*unk, yes, but that's something teenagers do - for adults, meeting people outside the online realm is becoming increasingly difficult.

That said, I'll talk to anyone and have met a few people offline.

Meeting online, through friends when out or people you get to know through sport, hobbies etc etc this is all the real world.

Why is being approached by complete strangers wanting sex when out enjoying yourself with friends somehow more appropriate?

You are mixing up dating with swinging I think.

"

No I'm not - I was responding to someone else who was mixing up recreational sex with dating and pointed his finger in my direction.

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Where to start...this is not a question or a rant

Im on a few dating sites and as a 50yr old man its a kick to the ego

I take dating sites seriously

Write a good profile about my likes

Send great messages about common likes...and in 4 months not 1 reply!! I confess this dents my self esteem

Am I destined to be single?

I like my own company but hate being alone

Oh I know what this post is...its a woe is me thread!!!

Oh well it is what it is

Carry on fabbers and have a great weekend x"

Ouch. I hope your luck improves.

I didn't date from the age of 25 to 50 and have had a completely different experience to yourself on dating sites.

I think having colourful photos generates a bit of interest.

In my fab pics, I've used red light bulbs, coloured rope, photos of Rainbow Street etc.

I also offer "out of the box" dates.

"I'm coming to Riga next week. Do you want to go and fire a Kalashnikov?"

"You've never been to Aberdeen. Come up, get off the train in your running kit and I'll take you for a running tour of the city!"

Both were successful!

Good luck.

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By *eardedwonder999Man
over a year ago

Worcester

I've given up on dating sites its too much hard work and all I've encountered are Phoney people unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where to start...this is not a question or a rant

Im on a few dating sites and as a 50yr old man its a kick to the ego

I take dating sites seriously

Write a good profile about my likes

Send great messages about common likes...and in 4 months not 1 reply!! I confess this dents my self esteem

Am I destined to be single?

I like my own company but hate being alone

Oh I know what this post is...its a woe is me thread!!!

Oh well it is what it is

Carry on fabbers and have a great weekend x

Sorry to hear you’re struggling, OP. I’ve been online dating (on and off) since 2012 and it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions!

I’m still trying because the alternative is not trying and that definitely gets me nothing.

As with many others, it really is the only viable method to meet people, save leaving it to fate.

Not sure whether this would apply to you, but I do sometimes get a bit negative about it and I’m sure that comes across. No matter how shit it seems, first interactions with anyone need to be brimming with positivity and happiness

Perhaps an overhaul of your pics and bio would make you feel ‘fresher’ and seem like a new prospect to potential partners?

Good luck "

“I’m still trying because the alternative is not trying”

Online dating really sucks, I’ve met more off fab, two from Hinge, none from Bumble… I’m looking for a relationship so I’m not meeting from here. I’m an introvert and don’t drink, I don’t use public transport. The closest I’ve got in the real world was a flirty chat in a Costco queue. I don’t mind other people’s kids, I just don’t want anymore, I’d say 50%+ guys want kids. There’s a surprising amount in ENM relationships, as stated on their profiles, looking for more. I know I’m not catch of the day and I’m getting on a bit but I’m finding this semi soul destroying

(Sorry guys, rant over)

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By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

I use them, but not paid for (bumble and tinder) I’ve had some good experiences from them to be honest.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"

“I’m still trying because the alternative is not trying”

Online dating really sucks, I’ve met more off fab, two from Hinge, none from Bumble… I’m looking for a relationship so I’m not meeting from here. I’m an introvert and don’t drink, I don’t use public transport. The closest I’ve got in the real world was a flirty chat in a Costco queue. I don’t mind other people’s kids, I just don’t want anymore, I’d say 50%+ guys want kids. There’s a surprising amount in ENM relationships, as stated on their profiles, looking for more. I know I’m not catch of the day and I’m getting on a bit but I’m finding this semi soul destroying

(Sorry guys, rant over)"

We sound remarkably similar! I’m only really interested in dating, mostly using fab for the forums.

I don’t drink and definitely don’t want kids! It’s difficult to overcome those two things, I find. I wish you the best of luck, though.

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