FabSwingers.com forum: What separates the best from the rest

By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ?

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Usually you can read the first few lines, so you can get the gist of the message without opening it, though I will try and open every message and reply if possible.

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

Usually something funny will make me open the dm, if it’s only another sex message it’ll probably be ignored

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

I would read the message, check the profile, then decide on how to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reckon the profile picture of you that comes up next to a new message also plays some part. Whether people admit that or not

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"Usually you can read the first few lines, so you can get the gist of the message without opening it, though I will try and open every message and reply if possible.

So the first lines are the deal breaker . Very polite of you guys to reply to most if you get inundated with messages

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I read the profile before I open the message, if I don't think we're compatible after reading the profile, I don't open the message.

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"Usually something funny will make me open the dm, if it’s only another sex message it’ll probably be ignored "

I find that humour normally never gets a reply haha

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"I reckon the profile picture of you that comes up next to a new message also plays some part. Whether people admit that or not"

I’d have to agree with you

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"I reckon the profile picture of you that comes up next to a new message also plays some part. Whether people admit that or not"

I admit it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reckon the profile picture of you that comes up next to a new message also plays some part. Whether people admit that or not

I admit it

yes but you’re honest

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ? "

It's not about the message. Never has been. Most will look at a profile before opening.

It's about the profile and photos. If you've put little effort into making those stand out then the message will never be read.

A good profile can send an average or even dull first message and it may still result in a reply.

The best first message in the history of messages ever sent on a swinging site will be binned if the senders profile is crap.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"I reckon the profile picture of you that comes up next to a new message also plays some part. Whether people admit that or not

I admit it

yes but you’re honest

I'm as honest as the day is long,

The longer the daylight, the less I do wrong.

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ?

It's not about the message. Never has been. Most will look at a profile before opening.

It's about the profile and photos. If you've put little effort into making those stand out then the message will never be read.

A good profile can send an average or even dull first message and it may still result in a reply.

The best first message in the history of messages ever sent on a swinging site will be binned if the senders profile is crap.

Yeah the profile is key I get that drift . So if you guys got say 100 messages would you look at every profile ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It being from me.

Obvs.

I hasten to add I have not clarified which in the interests of accuracy.

Schrodingers message, equally failure and success all at once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reckon the profile picture of you that comes up next to a new message also plays some part. Whether people admit that or not

I admit it

yes but you’re honest

I'm as honest as the day is long,

The longer the daylight, the less I do wrong.

Oh is it so?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I always read the profile first. So the message content is very much secondary to the profile for me

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

"So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ? "

Not a lot really to be honest. We generally stick to real life partiess, social events and nights out to find new people. And because we are not looking for new people all the time as contrary as its sounds sometimes it's more a matter of timing. Obviously if its one of those rare times we're actually looking to find people on line we more open to messages than when we are not looking.

Of course on a vary rare occasion some one or a couple with a great opening message, great pictures, great bio and lovely verifications comes along. This obviously bucks the trend but is very rare. Generally what we like in a message is something lighthearted which displays a bit of personality.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

A cock so big it looks like it would spit my arsehole in two and make me look like a clamshell.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reckon the profile picture of you that comes up next to a new message also plays some part. Whether people admit that or not"

I agree. If it catches my eye I’ll check their profile out then open the message.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

A dick pic pics showing you balls deep unsheathed in a multitude of women, loads of graphic verifications declaring your sexual prowess, explaining how you make each n every women gush/piss herself. A silhouette avatar and no bio.and the ole copy n paste tactic sent wide n far, otherwise known as the scatter gun approach..

Come back next week for more top tips of the best way to use fab...

Or just be yourself, go to socials and clubs meet ppl that way and don't rely on messages through fab.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I always look at a profile before a message. So if i liked that & they were local i'd respond.

If it was unappealing ,I just wouldn't read the message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We open all messages.

Things that would stand out:

Have you read our profile? It's easy to tell if people have or haven't.

Do you have a meet verification?

Is it a copy and paste? Also easy to spot

What does your profile say about you?

Do you have at least 1 picture?

Would you send a face pic? Of not then no meet.

Cheers

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ? "

When we have messages open then Mrs Cherry reads the messages from guys. If there is no cock pic its an instant delete because thats what shes really interested in.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I don't get a lot of messages but their profile is what will make me open messages. I look at it before I even open a message. Also some messages I can read fully without even opening and I can't be bothered replying to some like faf type ones.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Oh.

If the message has an actually interesting question that appears to be aimed at me instead of bland enough to copy paste out to every viable female.

If they have something to say that genuinely interests me.

Those ones usually get replies other than the standard fine/no thanks. Though if there's no profile picture, or text that avtually says something, or the profile is hidden, or the profile makes it obvious we're not compatible, it's still a no from me.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Your profile is three-fold…

So if the profile pic is intriguing then we’ll look at the message, if the message intrigues then we’ll look at the profile. Then that’s got to work for us too.

If it’s a cock/action shot pic or message is bland or vulgar - delete.

If they’ve made an effort but not for us then we’ll reply.

If it all works then we’ll reply.

It’s not about superiority - we’ve made an effort and expect someone else too.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Retirement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the message is obviously a meet now or something of a direct sexual nature I delete.

I check the profile first, if the profile pic next to the message was their cock I alway expect more of that. I look for key things on the profile, most fail at hurdle 1. I rarely get past hurdle 3.

I then go back and open the message, read it, look at the pics for a face pic if there is one and then mark as unread and delete or I reply.

Humour gets me to reply the most at that stage. Or a well written message that's different from the rest and seems like they themselves are talking rather than rehearsed speech they send everyone. If they are talking to me and not stipulating what they want they might get a reply.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

As if I’d give my secret away

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ?

When we have messages open then Mrs Cherry reads the messages from guys. If there is no cock pic its an instant delete because thats what shes really interested in."

And the majority would delete if you sent a cock pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so subjective it is pointless. There is no all inclusive, one size fits all, middle road blandness that is guaranteed to be popular.

As I write that I suddenly realise that it is complete bullshit.

We are human after all and there is a herd somewhere for the sheep, a pack for the dogs, a gaggle for the geese and a murder for the crows.

It really does stand to reason there is a stereotypical ideal playmate for each faction to aspire to. We need to create a list of collectives and compile their respective idioms then push everyone into thier pigeon hole and remind them that we know, what they really want. Sorted.

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ?

When we have messages open then Mrs Cherry reads the messages from guys. If there is no cock pic its an instant delete because thats what shes really interested in.

And the majority would delete if you sent a cock pic"

We're happy to be in the minority. Also remember the majority of fab users don't use the forums...

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ?

When we have messages open then Mrs Cherry reads the messages from guys. If there is no cock pic its an instant delete because thats what shes really interested in.

And the majority would delete if you sent a cock pic

We're happy to be in the minority. Also remember the majority of fab users don't use the forums... "

Yeah that is true and everyone is different

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Age and fitness, if you look the part you'll always have the women after you

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"Age and fitness, if you look the part you'll always have the women after you

You can have as many abs as you like if you got a dead personality your getting very little

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Age and fitness, if you look the part you'll always have the women after you

You can have as many abs as you like if you got a dead personality your getting very little "
well true personality plays a part once you meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We haven't had a message in over a week, average 2-7 view on the profile per day.

Since we raised our filters it's been nice

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Some indication of independent thought rather than just spamming everyone with holes within 50 miles

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"So there was a thread here earlier that said women and couples receive a huge amount of messages . So tell us women and couples what would make you open one message but not the others ?

It's not about the message. Never has been. Most will look at a profile before opening.

It's about the profile and photos. If you've put little effort into making those stand out then the message will never be read.

A good profile can send an average or even dull first message and it may still result in a reply.

The best first message in the history of messages ever sent on a swinging site will be binned if the senders profile is crap.

Yeah the profile is key I get that drift . So if you guys got say 100 messages would you look at every profile ?"

We currently have 32 left unread from profiles we don't know. We'll view the profiles and either delete or reply to them eventually but as it early says in our profile not to message asking to meet unless there's a big flashing neon sign saying we're planning on meeting (near zero free time so incredibly rare) and the bulk of them we can see in the opening line or message title that it relates to meeting....that could be a month or three away. Fox generally deals with those messages and I'll only ever open any from people we already know or forum regulars where I know it'll relate to something I or they have said.

Most messages end in the bin as the profile senders are wildly different to who we'd meet or the sender has spent what looks like 30 seconds headbutting the keyboard to construct their profile text and took their photos in a steam room using a potato as a camera and a pringles tube as a lens. Our filters only stop messages based on age, so pretty much anyone can message, but it still amazes me how many requests we get from other couples given we onmy have single guys listed as our preference.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"We haven't had a message in over a week, average 2-7 view on the profile per day.

Since we raised our filters it's been nice

I hear this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are a shadow they get deleted straight away.

I check location and profile next. Too far, deleted. Boring profile or I don’t think we match deleted.

Only then do I read the ones left.

If they are are straight in with pet names and sex talk I delete.

Then I take each one at its own merit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We haven't had a message in over a week, average 2-7 view on the profile per day.

Since we raised our filters it's been nice

I hear this

It's like someone read this and thought I know let's break their peace

1st message just now

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"If they are a shadow they get deleted straight away.

I check location and profile next. Too far, deleted. Boring profile or I don’t think we match deleted.

Only then do I read the ones left.

If they are are straight in with pet names and sex talk I delete.

Then I take each one at its own merit."

Interesting how there are so many different responses on how people deal with their messages I think maybe proves you win some you lose some

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"We haven't had a message in over a week, average 2-7 view on the profile per day.

Since we raised our filters it's been nice

I hear this

It's like someone read this and thought I know let's break their peace

1st message just now

Standard haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We haven't had a message in over a week, average 2-7 view on the profile per day.

Since we raised our filters it's been nice

I hear this

It's like someone read this and thought I know let's break their peace

1st message just now

Standard haha"

It's nobody off this thread

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"We haven't had a message in over a week, average 2-7 view on the profile per day.

Since we raised our filters it's been nice

I hear this

It's like someone read this and thought I know let's break their peace

1st message just now

Standard haha

It's nobody off this thread

Haha that is a coincidence then

unless it’s a snooper

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Interesting how there are so many different responses on how people deal with their messages I think maybe proves you win some you lose some "

It's almost like dealing with individuals rather than some kind of hive mind.

Creepy huh.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Interesting how there are so many different responses on how people deal with their messages I think maybe proves you win some you lose some

It's almost like dealing with individuals rather than some kind of hive mind.

Creepy huh."

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

John West

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"We haven't had a message in over a week, average 2-7 view on the profile per day.

Since we raised our filters it's been nice

I hear this

It's like someone read this and thought I know let's break their peace

1st message just now

My filters are set to no men, no women, no couples of any type, no trans people. I've had no unsolicited correspondents in over three years and I love it.

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"Interesting how there are so many different responses on how people deal with their messages I think maybe proves you win some you lose some

It's almost like dealing with individuals rather than some kind of hive mind.

Creepy huh."

Well obviously everyone is an individual but good to see how people go about answering messages differently

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

When I was meeting, it was only ever a profile picture of someone that looked like I might find attractive that would cause me to open a message...call me shallow, but I wasn't going to even entertain opening a message from someone that I didn't want to rub genitals with, no matter how well constructed it was. And yes, I may have missed out on people that I fancied just because their avatar was of their wrinkly little sex worm, but I used to mainly search profiles and initiate contact with people that I liked the look of anyway, it wasn't as if I was dependant on incoming messages to get meets.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Interesting how there are so many different responses on how people deal with their messages I think maybe proves you win some you lose some

It's almost like dealing with individuals rather than some kind of hive mind.

Creepy huh."

Yep.

It's almost like dealing with individuals rather than some kind of hive mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless it was rude/nasty or aggressive, I’d reply. I have a thing where I have to reply to people as I don’t want to come across as rude, I’m the same with emails and texts though haha

Mrs

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By *isterE ManMan
over a year ago

Taunton

That would be 17!

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Profile picture is the first thing I look at.

If it's sexy/tasteful I'll then open the message.

If that's also sexy/tasteful or even funny ill look at the profile.

If the profile is also appealing then I'll reply.

Em x

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

We only open messages that contain the secret code word in the title so we know the sender has thoroughly read or profile.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"We only open messages that contain the secret code word in the title so we know the sender has thoroughly read or profile.

It says in our profile to put whatever you want as the title of any message.

We get a 50/50 split between people actually putting whatever they want and people putting 'whatever you want' as if it was some kind of code!

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