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They/ Them

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By *odgerMoore OP   Man
over a year ago

gretna

As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I’m not 100% certain so happy to be corrected but they are plural as while someone doesn’t identify as either gender those also identify as both, if that makes sense, so therefore use plural.

Maybe it should be the/the but common are ze/zir and xe/xir

Marc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm thinking these pronouns used will adapt and improve over time.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? "

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either. "

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I believe the singular is it, which obviously would not want to be used.

I'm happy to use whatever pronouns anyone wants me to as long as they how me respect in turn.

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple
over a year ago

Watford

[Removed by poster at 17/05/23 09:45:16]

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either.

"

Bang on

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either.

Bang on"

100%, pretend to be who you want but it's him/her. Nothing has changed & nothing will.

Before anyone mentions "be kind", you mean "pretend".

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

My pronouns are talented, successful and handsome

Please respect them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

"

This.

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By *UFSWoman
over a year ago

belfast


"

100%, pretend to be who you want but it's him/her. Nothing has changed & nothing will.

Before anyone mentions "be kind", you mean "pretend"."

Exactly

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

"

I believe you would pick him or her up when his or her plane arrives but you might use they if you don’t know the sex of the person that you are referring.

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either. "

I feel the same way, not everything society introduces we need to go along with like robots or sheep. We are human beings with our own views, beliefs and choices

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I identify as a carrot

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? "

Can't link it because of forum rules, but the Oxford English Dictionary blog (yeah that's a thing!), written by a professor of English, points out that singular they has been in use in English since at least 1375. And if we're going to object to singular "they", we also need to object to singular "you" on the same grounds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

Can't link it because of forum rules, but the Oxford English Dictionary blog (yeah that's a thing!), written by a professor of English, points out that singular they has been in use in English since at least 1375. And if we're going to object to singular "they", we also need to object to singular "you" on the same grounds "

Oh Swing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

Can't link it because of forum rules, but the Oxford English Dictionary blog (yeah that's a thing!), written by a professor of English, points out that singular they has been in use in English since at least 1375. And if we're going to object to singular "they", we also need to object to singular "you" on the same grounds "

They knows it.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

"

This.

We already use them in every day language.

They/them is probably the easiest pronoun change to make mentally over ze/zir etc.

For all the people saying they will never use any pronouns other than he/her...

I'm sure you'll take someone using alternative pronouns when speaking about or to you with zero fuss right?

Or is it just *you* that should be able to do it and everyone has to respect your pronouns?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

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By *odgerMoore OP   Man
over a year ago

gretna


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

"

I guess its easier in context of how it would be used.

In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’

Thanks for clearing this up for me!!

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either.

I feel the same way, not everything society introduces we need to go along with like robots or sheep. We are human beings with our own views, beliefs and choices "

Plus, English law does not allow "compelled speech".

As long as I am not being derogatory I will address people how I see them.

If their biology/appearance doesn't match the pronoun I will gladly use their name. Their real name.

Funnily enough, it is just this POV that gained Jordan Peterson his notoriety.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

I guess its easier in context of how it would be used.

In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’

Thanks for clearing this up for me!! "

The possessive of them is their.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

I guess its easier in context of how it would be used.

In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’

Thanks for clearing this up for me!! "

Or their tits

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Wow, some ignorant people around this morning.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka "

This is my shocked face

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"I identify as a carrot "

Please don't.

All jokes aside it's the same argument that was used against gay marriage...

"We can't let the gays get married - then they might want to marry dogs or Houses, or Kids...

I know it sounds cute/funny/rediculous but it just really fans the flames and doesn't help anyone.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka "

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.

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By *odgerMoore OP   Man
over a year ago

gretna

In other news - this was a genuine question and its been answered - don’t let the thread descend into woke bashing or negativity if someone wants to be a toaster then they can be but as has been said society is a very big place and people will continue to use terms they are familiar with without intent to offend - heres an idea - lets just be tolerant. No one died!

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By *odgerMoore OP   Man
over a year ago

gretna


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

I guess its easier in context of how it would be used.

In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’

Thanks for clearing this up for me!!

The possessive of them is their."

I dont want to possess them - just want to borrow them

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Both ! X

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

I guess its easier in context of how it would be used.

In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’

Thanks for clearing this up for me!!

The possessive of them is their.

I dont want to possess them - just want to borrow them "

Possessive is the grammatical term.

So his is the possessive of he

I want to grab his tits

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"In other news - this was a genuine question and its been answered - don’t let the thread descend into woke bashing or negativity if someone wants to be a toaster then they can be but as has been said society is a very big place and people will continue to use terms they are familiar with without intent to offend - heres an idea - lets just be tolerant. No one died! "

The whole woke vs based bashing thing is massively frustrating.

Media on both sides is a lot to blame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using. "

Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either. "

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By *ity_BoyMan
over a year ago

London

"People can identify however they wish"

"I will be misgendering them because I'm not a sheep"

Stay classy fab

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either.

Bang on

100%, pretend to be who you want but it's him/her. Nothing has changed & nothing will.

Before anyone mentions "be kind", you mean "pretend"."

It’s wording like this from both sides that I think people get upset with. Show a little more empathy in your response.

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By *odgerMoore OP   Man
over a year ago

gretna


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

I guess its easier in context of how it would be used.

In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’

Thanks for clearing this up for me!!

The possessive of them is their.

I dont want to possess them - just want to borrow them

Possessive is the grammatical term.

So his is the possessive of he

I want to grab his tits "

Buy me a drink first xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ity_BoyMan
over a year ago

London


"I identify as a carrot "

Must have taken you all night to think of this!!!!

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.

Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it? "

The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either.

Bang on

100%, pretend to be who you want but it's him/her. Nothing has changed & nothing will.

Before anyone mentions "be kind", you mean "pretend"."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


""People can identify however they wish"

"I will be misgendering them because I'm not a sheep"

Stay classy fab "

Who have you quoted?

Stay classy.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. "

So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. "

But you just called them 'them'...

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using. "

Nobody has explained why they are not comfortable, though. How does it affect them? What difference does it make?

The world has evolved. If someone says 'can you please use they, I am not comfortable being called she, she is not who I am' I don't see how it can hurt to respect that. It's not been a snap decision.

FWIW I've not come across anyone who has corrected me, yet, so it's not as if its an every day occurrence

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well.

But you just called them 'them'..."

There are a lot more than one of them.

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By *ity_BoyMan
over a year ago

London


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. "

Hate to break it to you, but you just used pronouns here

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. "

Bravo -if I am reading this right I mean.

So I read that as (in answer to my question above) you respect someones right to misgender you and will be happy to let them do it, in the way you'd misgender them?

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well.

So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her? "

That would be misgendering me. But they can call me what they wish, I know who I am and care little about pronouns.

I would suggest they go to Specsavers though.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well.

But you just called them 'them'...

There are a lot more than one of them. "

If you are referring to multiple people, then why would you use just one name?

Where the pronoun is ambiguous, such loose grammatical construction will lead to confusion.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well.

Hate to break it to you, but you just used pronouns here "

How so, surely using they/them as a collective which is how it should be used?

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.

Nobody has explained why they are not comfortable, though. How does it affect them? What difference does it make?

The world has evolved. If someone says 'can you please use they, I am not comfortable being called she, she is not who I am' I don't see how it can hurt to respect that. It's not been a snap decision.

FWIW I've not come across anyone who has corrected me, yet, so it's not as if its an every day occurrence "

Happy to give my genuine thoughts, but if I do I can almost guarantee it’ll kick off regardless of how I word it. More than happy if you wanted to message.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

replace everything with 'hi' no offence caused then.

oh wait! profile says no 'hi' damn it.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well.

So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her? "

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest and if it did I’d just leave them to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.

Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?

The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included. "

Yeah true.

Anyways

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well.

So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her?

That would be misgendering me. But they can call me what they wish, I know who I am and care little about pronouns.

I would suggest they go to Specsavers though. "

That’s a fair response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they".

I will not be compelled to do so either. "

I'm with you on that one.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them.

"

Clearly never been in any of my work meetings.

The amount of times someone will say 'she was speaking', 'i think what they were trying to say was' etc etc.

(Honestly a room full of neurodiverse nerds makes meetings either amazing or hell!)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.

Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?

The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included.

Yeah true.

Anyways "

I rest my case.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them.

Clearly never been in any of my work meetings.

The amount of times someone will say 'she was speaking', 'i think what they were trying to say was' etc etc.

(Honestly a room full of neurodiverse nerds makes meetings either amazing or hell!) "

The ND meetings we have are always brilliant. They do tend to go over the allotted time by a fair old chunk though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we're getting all grammarly we could introduce the royal 'we'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.

Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?

The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included.

Yeah true.

Anyways

I rest my case. "

I just don’t want to talk to you.

Please just leave me alone lmao.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If we're getting all grammarly we could introduce the royal 'we'. "

A grammar thread might be fun

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes.

It can be misconstrued easily.

On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so.

And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others.

I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose.

I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well.

So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her?

That would be misgendering me. But they can call me what they wish, I know who I am and care little about pronouns.

I would suggest they go to Specsavers though. "

You care so little about pronouns that you would refuse to use their preferred pronoun and purposefully misgender them because 'its my right' ...yeah that makes perfect sense

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments.

Whatta shocka

Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.

Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?

The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included.

Yeah true.

Anyways

I rest my case.

I just don’t want to talk to you.

Please just leave me alone lmao. "

Then stop replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them."

Absolutely treat people with respect but how someone identifies and even how some identify on any given day is their business and shouldnt be compelled upon anyone else.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes.

It can be misconstrued easily.

On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so.

And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about. "

I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance?

They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English.

If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not.

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By *odgerMoore OP   Man
over a year ago

gretna


"If we're getting all grammarly we could introduce the royal 'we'.

A grammar thread might be fun"

No full stop - stay behind after class.. with me and a bottle of wine.. you saucy minx!!

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

another one gone bad

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If we're getting all grammarly we could introduce the royal 'we'.

A grammar thread might be fun

No full stop - stay behind after class.. with me and a bottle of wine.. you saucy minx!! "

I'm more of a descriptivist than a prescriptivist

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

One thing I think we can ALL agree on is, threads like these are brilliant for filtering those you wouldn’t get along with.

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By *odgerMoore OP   Man
over a year ago

gretna


"another one gone bad"

If this was a meeting Id have put a stop after it went so far off topic … but I can’t

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes.

It can be misconstrued easily.

On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so.

And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about.

I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance?

They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English.

If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not."

All true. But the original, perfectly civil OP, was asking about this.

If he was asking an honest question then those who are less accepting will do the same.

I have heard some say that it points to mental illness.

When you point out it's grammatically correct it doesn't really make a dent.

In my job I deal with a lot of narrow-minded, often openly bigoted people. From this I think the other pronouns used do not trigger as readily.

But I am talking observationally here so I may be wrong.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"another one gone bad

If this was a meeting Id have put a stop after it went so far off topic … but I can’t "

Was always going to happen given the topic, all us ND folk and how emotionally charged it is.

Personally think it’s a great topic that needs to be discussed more to help people ok the extremes of both sides try to align a little more.

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By *odgerMoore OP   Man
over a year ago

gretna


"another one gone bad

If this was a meeting Id have put a stop after it went so far off topic … but I can’t

Was always going to happen given the topic, all us ND folk and how emotionally charged it is.

Personally think it’s a great topic that needs to be discussed more to help people ok the extremes of both sides try to align a little more."

Well in that case - you’re welcome xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them.

"

It's so that other people can have the opportunity to get offended on their behalf. A very popular hobby these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"another one gone bad

If this was a meeting Id have put a stop after it went so far off topic … but I can’t "

Before it went off topic as these always do I started looking for some articles online to direct you to that I found interesting and explained they/them/non-binary 'stuff' without getting all academical.

Not sure if one can paste links here though?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes.

It can be misconstrued easily.

On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so.

And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about.

I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance?

They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English.

If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not.

All true. But the original, perfectly civil OP, was asking about this.

If he was asking an honest question then those who are less accepting will do the same.

I have heard some say that it points to mental illness.

When you point out it's grammatically correct it doesn't really make a dent.

In my job I deal with a lot of narrow-minded, often openly bigoted people. From this I think the other pronouns used do not trigger as readily.

But I am talking observationally here so I may be wrong. "

I mean, you're the one who brought up the older and more problematic term for dissociative identity disorder...

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes.

It can be misconstrued easily.

On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so.

And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about.

I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance?

They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English.

If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not.

All true. But the original, perfectly civil OP, was asking about this.

If he was asking an honest question then those who are less accepting will do the same.

I have heard some say that it points to mental illness.

When you point out it's grammatically correct it doesn't really make a dent.

In my job I deal with a lot of narrow-minded, often openly bigoted people. From this I think the other pronouns used do not trigger as readily.

But I am talking observationally here so I may be wrong. "

Those who talk about mental illness are generally talking about trans and non binary people.

Which for me smarts. Yes I'm non binary.

No I never used to feel comfortable in my own body. I was a 'tomboy' and 'unruly and unladylike' growing up.

Now as an adult I have a good idea of the scientific reasons behind this. If you took a blood test and looked at my hormone levels... A doctor would assume I was male...

My hormones, the very things that tell my body what to do and when to do it, think I'm male. My boobs and vagina make it look like I'm female.

In reality I don't know that I fit either.

But in all honesty I just wish someone, anyone, could have an idea what's going to happen to me when I'm *supposed* to hit the menopause... Cause even specialists can't answer that.

But yeah. It's just a mental illness of not wanting to be my assigned at birth gender.

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest


"It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them.

Clearly never been in any of my work meetings.

The amount of times someone will say 'she was speaking', 'i think what they were trying to say was' etc etc.

(Honestly a room full of neurodiverse nerds makes meetings either amazing or hell!) "

I would just use their name, most meetings are with people, I know or you are introduced. Otherwise I feel very rude not knowing someone's name and calling them a pronoun like she/he/it/them/they etc.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes.

It can be misconstrued easily.

On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so.

And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about.

I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance?

They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English.

If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not.

All true. But the original, perfectly civil OP, was asking about this.

If he was asking an honest question then those who are less accepting will do the same.

I have heard some say that it points to mental illness.

When you point out it's grammatically correct it doesn't really make a dent.

In my job I deal with a lot of narrow-minded, often openly bigoted people. From this I think the other pronouns used do not trigger as readily.

But I am talking observationally here so I may be wrong.

Those who talk about mental illness are generally talking about trans and non binary people.

Which for me smarts. Yes I'm non binary.

No I never used to feel comfortable in my own body. I was a 'tomboy' and 'unruly and unladylike' growing up.

Now as an adult I have a good idea of the scientific reasons behind this. If you took a blood test and looked at my hormone levels... A doctor would assume I was male...

My hormones, the very things that tell my body what to do and when to do it, think I'm male. My boobs and vagina make it look like I'm female.

In reality I don't know that I fit either.

But in all honesty I just wish someone, anyone, could have an idea what's going to happen to me when I'm *supposed* to hit the menopause... Cause even specialists can't answer that.

But yeah. It's just a mental illness of not wanting to be my assigned at birth gender. "

As I said previously. I have no issues with anything other than the "compelled speech" aspects of some of those in this area.

It is a very personal thing for all those involved. I am not one of those so was remarking, observationally, upon those opinions I have heard expressed by different groups about pronouns and their use.

Your experience sounds painful and nothing I would ever want anyone to suffer through. The doubts you have even now about physical change should not be there.

That's where lobbying would help for research to investigate and explain...not define.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

"

I believe you would pick him or her up when his or her plane arrives but you might use they if you don’t know the sex of the person that you are referring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

I believe you would pick him or her up when his or her plane arrives but you might use they if you don’t know the sex of the person that you are referring.

"

They might. They may not.

So their.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton


"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them."

Is age relevant, I,m older than you.

You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. .

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them.

Is age relevant, I,m older than you.

You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. ."

You’re really not helping with how aggressive you’re wording your replies.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton


"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them.

Is age relevant, I,m older than you.

You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. .

You’re really not helping with how aggressive you’re wording your replies."

Man up!

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Fisherthem

Come on now, that was a ridiculous moment on planet earth

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

Using terms like aggressive etc are deflection tactics used by people not able to comprehend a different point of view.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them.

Is age relevant, I,m older than you.

You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. ."

No age is not relevant! I'm even older than u! But am tolerant and open to others preferences! And what a ridiculous thing to say! Said child will hopefully have understanding and empathy with their fellow human! Damage jeez!x

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to "

Ha ha yes me 2! My private note feature has worked overtime on this thread x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I call them “abusers”. They need to stop reading badly-written nonsense written by abuse apologists like Judith Butler.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Using terms like aggressive etc are deflection tactics used by people not able to comprehend a different point of view."

Unless it is a aggressive comment??

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"I call them “abusers”. They need to stop reading badly-written nonsense written by abuse apologists like Judith Butler."

Off to Google her....

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to "

Always

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante


"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them.

Is age relevant, I,m older than you.

You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. ."

I think age is relevant yes.

Since the older generation are often more prejudiced. I was explaining that I am a little older, and yet Not prejudiced.

These are learned behaviours, we aren't born with them. Hence having open Honest conversations with my child about these things.

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By *as2cheatMan
over a year ago

harrow

Let me see they them titties!

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston


"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them.

Is age relevant, I,m older than you.

You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. .

No age is not relevant! I'm even older than u! But am tolerant and open to others preferences! And what a ridiculous thing to say! Said child will hopefully have understanding and empathy with their fellow human! Damage jeez!x"

Honestly thank you for saying it. I have this debate every week with my nan (mainly because i think she forgets we have it practically 52 weeks a year for the last few but thats a different story) people can be tolerant of people if they choose to be. No ones saying you have to like it but just be kind the world would be so much of a nicer place.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to "

Yes, it easy to assess someone by reading, and possibly misintereting, a few posts on a thread.

This is how bubbles form. Hear something you don't like or agree with, block and find someone who (apparently) does.

I am all for a free exchange of ideas but completely understand if others aren't.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton


"Using terms like aggressive etc are deflection tactics used by people not able to comprehend a different point of view.

Unless it is a aggressive comment??"

Have you read the definition of aggressive, using these trendy terms don't change their meaning.

Nothing was aggressive, it was a clear response to a post in my opiwhich is as valid as the original posters but the predictable 'pile on' occurs by bleeding hearts.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Using terms like aggressive etc are deflection tactics used by people not able to comprehend a different point of view."

Ermm you’re clearly not a regular here, or would understand just how daft that comment is.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad.

I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them.

Is age relevant, I,m older than you.

You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. .

You’re really not helping with how aggressive you’re wording your replies.

Man up!"

What does that even mean? Are you implying you’re more of a “man” than me?

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Man up means stop sniffing and go hunt me a wild boar

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to

Yes, it easy to assess someone by reading, and possibly misintereting, a few posts on a thread.

This is how bubbles form. Hear something you don't like or agree with, block and find someone who (apparently) does.

I am all for a free exchange of ideas but completely understand if others aren't.

"

All of this!!!

I’ve had some interactions and messages from peeps on here that sit on the complete opposite side of the fence to me.

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

[Removed by poster at 17/05/23 12:25:59]

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way


"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to

Yes, it easy to assess someone by reading, and possibly misintereting, a few posts on a thread.

This is how bubbles form. Hear something you don't like or agree with, block and find someone who (apparently) does.

I am all for a free exchange of ideas but completely understand if others aren't.

"

Quite happy to block as I see fit as I’m sure you’re able to as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them.

What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Man up means stop sniffing and go hunt me a wild boar"

Sounds like too much cardio for me tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes.

No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices

It's not difficult to respect what ppl want

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"Man up means stop sniffing and go hunt me a wild boar

Sounds like too much cardio for me tbh. "

Can't/won't

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them.

What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip "

I don’t think most have a problem with using it out of courtesy, it’s being compelled to myself and others have an issue with.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Man up means stop sniffing and go hunt me a wild boar

Sounds like too much cardio for me tbh.

Can't/won't "

I’m now using them as my preferred pronouns!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"It's not difficult to respect what ppl want"

Agreed, but the logic goes both ways.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *moothpussyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Some very nasty people on this thread.

The block button has been well used this morning

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Why don't we just start referring to everyone as they/them? Problem solved.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston


"Why don't we just start referring to everyone as they/them? Problem solved."

That works and i have been doing it for a while now and no ones ever said anything about it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Not a porn game btw

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo"

I prefer not to live my life in an echo chamber.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

Oof seems some hurt feelings at the mention of blocking.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo"

I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Oof seems some hurt feelings at the mention of blocking. "

You’re reading waaaaaay too much into the replies.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo

I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress"

Get out my head!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

I personally dont think we should be tolerant and have peace.

They had peace on the Simpsons and got invaded by aliens

Is that what you want? Because thats exactly what will happen

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo

I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress"

I sort of agree but I can't help point out your contradiction because you said you never understood their way of thinking... even though you listened...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

(attempts to leave the thread before anylbe notices I popped in)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent?

It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example…

You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport.

Me: What time are you picking them up?

You: They land at 5pm so not long after that.

"

^^^This.

It's already used naturally when we do not know the gender of a person (such as the cousin above).

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo

I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress

Get out my head! "

Not my fault your mind is open just enough for me to get inside

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

[Removed by poster at 17/05/23 12:39:04]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo

I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress

I sort of agree but I can't help point out your contradiction because you said you never understood their way of thinking... even though you listened...

"

I've never understood because it's never explained. That's not a contradiction

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Some very nasty people on this thread.

The block button has been well used this morning "

The private note thingy is better I find! Have had some ask to meet and when I've noticed I've got a detrimental private note I can say no ty little things I know! But gives me petty pleasure! X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"[Removed by poster at 17/05/23 12:39:04]"

I see you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest


"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo"

That's why no-one can have a debate anymore or change their opinions. I like to debate and I do change my opinions because I'm not always right and it's intriguing hearing others reasoning.... or sometimes I just like poking the bear.

No wonder people are so aggressive if they aren't surrounding themselves in diverse opinions, reminds me of a baby throwing their toys out of the pram because you don't agree.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with

Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo

I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress

I sort of agree but I can't help point out your contradiction because you said you never understood their way of thinking... even though you listened...

I've never understood because it's never explained. That's not a contradiction "

That's a fair point!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes.

No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices

It's not difficult to respect what ppl want"

Exactly this! X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes.

No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices

It's not difficult to respect what ppl want

Exactly this! X"

Again it goes both ways.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Let me see they them titties! "

In this example, you would use "your", wouldn't you? A pronoun would be grammatically incorrect.

"Let me see YOUR titties".

*Pedant poster popping off*

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

What's A private note?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes.

No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices

It's not difficult to respect what ppl want

Exactly this! X

Again it goes both ways."

Elaborate

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"What's A private note? "

Profilemenuprivate notes

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes.

No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices

It's not difficult to respect what ppl want

Exactly this! X

Again it goes both ways.

Elaborate "

It’s not difficult to respect people with opposing views.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"What's A private note?

Profilemenuprivate notes"

Site supporters only

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"What's A private note? "

The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"What's A private note?

The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x"

Profile *

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"What's A private note?

The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x"

What's it for? Is it like a criminal record?

So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"What's A private note?

The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x

What's it for? Is it like a criminal record?

So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse? "

More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"What's A private note?

The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x

What's it for? Is it like a criminal record?

So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse?

More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x"

I applaud the petty!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"What's A private note?

The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x

What's it for? Is it like a criminal record?

So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse?

More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x"

Can't, I foolishly spent my site supporter money on food for my child

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Fuck me, I must have enough notes for a hard back edition

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby


"I identify as a carrot "

Me as a rabbit poor you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves."

xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Fuck me, I must have enough notes for a hard back edition

"

Go for it! I don't have that many but has grown considerably today! X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"What's A private note?

The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x

What's it for? Is it like a criminal record?

So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse?

More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x"

I note if I have seen their face. Did i find them attractive. Real names. What we have messaged about.

I never thought that I could use it to remind me that once, a while ago, they said/did something I didn't like but which didn't make me think they were an overbearing dick. They aren't that much of a dick that I'd block them, but, maybe in the future, I could use it as motivation to gain revenge for a slight that they probably didn't know about and would probably make them "Meh, who's next".

Damn it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"Fuck me, I must have enough notes for a hard back edition

Go for it! I don't have that many but has grown considerably today! X"

I'm not a site supporter, may I block you instead?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves."

Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse.

Take a look at yourself.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves."

But they need to save grammar from... something that's been true since at least the fourteenth century!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby


"In other news - this was a genuine question and its been answered - don’t let the thread descend into woke bashing or negativity if someone wants to be a toaster then they can be but as has been said society is a very big place and people will continue to use terms they are familiar with without intent to offend - heres an idea - lets just be tolerant. No one died! "

Oh god can I be the toast

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them.

What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip "

An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"What's A private note?

The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x

What's it for? Is it like a criminal record?

So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse?

More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x

I note if I have seen their face. Did i find them attractive. Real names. What we have messaged about.

I never thought that I could use it to remind me that once, a while ago, they said/did something I didn't like but which didn't make me think they were an overbearing dick. They aren't that much of a dick that I'd block them, but, maybe in the future, I could use it as motivation to gain revenge for a slight that they probably didn't know about and would probably make them "Meh, who's next".

Damn it. "

Good idea go for it! Personally there are some people I would rather not engage with if I fee very strongly with their opinion so as well as getting my petty revenge save waisting my time and theirs! As I found to my displeasure once in a coffee shop with a guy! But must say the other coffee drinkers in the shop were entertained for a while! x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ity_BoyMan
over a year ago

London


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves.

Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse.

Take a look at yourself. "

There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate.

People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Fuck me, I must have enough notes for a hard back edition

Go for it! I don't have that many but has grown considerably today! X

I'm not a site supporter, may I block you instead? "

Of course! X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves.

Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse.

Take a look at yourself.

There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate.

People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate.

"

Or because they have their preferences and they have a right.

I mean sure, anyone has a right to say most things they want. I also have a right to think someone is an arsehole and the way they speak is horrendous - and act accordingly. (I also have the right to say what I think about such things)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves.

Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse.

Take a look at yourself.

There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate.

People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate.

"

Except this thread shows quite clearly there are both sides.

There’s been daft comments thrown around by both sides.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them.

What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip

An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task."

In this situation, I am required to call her by her new name in law. So I would. If she was just swanning about calling herself a different name without cause in law, I don't have to.

What I do call her depends on our relationship.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves.

Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse.

Take a look at yourself.

There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate.

People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate.

Or because they have their preferences and they have a right.

I mean sure, anyone has a right to say most things they want. I also have a right to think someone is an arsehole and the way they speak is horrendous - and act accordingly. (I also have the right to say what I think about such things)"

Thank you! Exactly this!

Most probably think I’m a bellend for my views and that’s cool.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them.

What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip

An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task."

And they manage to call Richard a Dick.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves.

Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse.

Take a look at yourself.

There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate.

People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate.

Except this thread shows quite clearly there are both sides.

There’s been daft comments thrown around by both sides. "

I mean sure, in the same way there's two sides in whether the world was created in seven days or if the science has a point

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some very nasty people on this thread.

The block button has been well used this morning "

I'm sure those affected will be devastated, but thanks for letting everyone know

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum?

They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community.

And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work?

Take a look at yourselves.

Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse.

Take a look at yourself.

There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate.

People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate.

Except this thread shows quite clearly there are both sides.

There’s been daft comments thrown around by both sides.

I mean sure, in the same way there's two sides in whether the world was created in seven days or if the science has a point "

I shall await that debate patiently.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby


"(attempts to leave the thread before anylbe notices I popped in) "

You could always pop my way lol because I saw you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"Some very nasty people on this thread.

The block button has been well used this morning

I'm sure those affected will be devastated, but thanks for letting everyone know "

I get blocked on a regular basis.

Almost everyday, I'm devastated

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Some very nasty people on this thread.

The block button has been well used this morning

I'm sure those affected will be devastated, but thanks for letting everyone know "

I applaud the sarcastic passive aggression.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them.

What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip

I don’t think most have a problem with using it out of courtesy, it’s being compelled to myself and others have an issue with."

But why do you have an issue being compelled to say it? They have fought a lifetime to find something to fit into into, you just have to use slightly different words in a sentence. It's not something to kick off about

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them.

What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip

An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task.

In this situation, I am required to call her by her new name in law. So I would. If she was just swanning about calling herself a different name without cause in law, I don't have to.

What I do call her depends on our relationship. "

What law makes you call someone by their correct name?

I'm pretty sure that you are not required to call someone by their chosen name, whether it's a married name or their legal name or otherwise.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them.

What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip

An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task.

In this situation, I am required to call her by her new name in law. So I would. If she was just swanning about calling herself a different name without cause in law, I don't have to.

What I do call her depends on our relationship. "

I’m unaware of a law you’d be breaking by calling her by her maiden name.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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