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Well then? What’s your technique? 
Love and Peace  | |||
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"I usually get you to do it for me. " With my tongue  | |||
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"Garden hoe" Wouldn’t touch the sides | |||
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"Floss it with a skipping rope." Wouldn’t that burn your lips?  | |||
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"Garden hoe Wouldn’t touch the sides " Lawn rake | |||
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"The wiggle walk sometimes helps, although it can make it worse occasionally "What? Like your arse is sucking on a polo mint? | |||
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"Garden hoe Wouldn’t touch the sides Lawn rake" Noooooo I’m talking right up ^^ | |||
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"A scratching post...." In public? | |||
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"The wiggle walk sometimes helps, although it can make it worse occasionally
What? Like your arse is sucking on a polo mint? "The seam in your clothes can be handy | |||
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"I just go for it I don't care. Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt" Smelling spunk? | |||
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"The wiggle walk sometimes helps, although it can make it worse occasionally
What? Like your arse is sucking on a polo mint?
The seam in your clothes can be handy "Poor seam  | |||
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"Just have a good old scratch and carry on eating your chips "You don’t scratch it with a chip then?  | |||
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"I ask the nearest guy in the pub if he had something he can scratch my ass with " A table leg?? | |||
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"Stick a cactus up there and bounce " Oooooooo so you like multiple pricks up your arse at once. Kinky | |||
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"I have a bumhole scratcher it's portable and always carry it in my handbag.occasional it doubles as a toothbrush " | |||
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"I just go for it I don't care. Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt Smelling spunk? "the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word | |||
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"Just scratch it. You ever going to see those people again? Probably not." Even if it’s 2 foot up your bullet hole? | |||
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"I just go for it I don't care. Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt Smelling spunk?
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word" | |||
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"Stick a cactus up there and bounce Oooooooo so you like multiple pricks up your arse at once. Kinky "You know I do. You trained me  | |||
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"I just go for it I don't care. Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt Smelling spunk?
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word"Jizzusolite | |||
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"Stick a cactus up there and bounce Oooooooo so you like multiple pricks up your arse at once. Kinky
You know I do.
You trained me "I only have one penis | |||
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"I just go for it I don't care. Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt Smelling spunk?
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word
Jizzusolite "Is this your new after scratch lol  | |||
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"Stick a cactus up there and bounce Oooooooo so you like multiple pricks up your arse at once. Kinky
You know I do.
You trained me
I only have one penis "Oh... what were the bits sticking out of it then? | |||
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"Shout really loudly that you have an itchy arse! Everyone will look away, itch until you’re arse has sighed a sign of relief!" Everyone wouldn’t turn away where I live | |||
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"I just go for it I don't care. Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt Smelling spunk?
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word
Jizzusolite
Is this your new after scratch lol "That’s what’s on your finger | |||
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"Stick a cactus up there and bounce Oooooooo so you like multiple pricks up your arse at once. Kinky
You know I do.
You trained me
I only have one penis
Oh... what were the bits sticking out of it then?"Warts | |||
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"Just have a good old scratch and carry on eating your chips
You don’t scratch it with a chip then? "Hell no I'm not an animal | |||
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"I ride my office chair around the office. On it’s wheels and not cowgirl style." All the office say ‘she’s got an itchy arse again’  | |||
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"I just pretend i'm pulling my knickers out of my arse which doesn't look so bad (and my knickers are usually stuck up there anyway) "Lucky knickers | |||
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"Just have a good old scratch and carry on eating your chips
You don’t scratch it with a chip then?
Hell no I'm not an animal "You’ll try it next time though | |||
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"Like a bear on a really skinny tree. " ^^ this is code for a penis | |||
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"I just pretend i'm pulling my knickers out of my arse which doesn't look so bad (and my knickers are usually stuck up there anyway) "People pay extra for those | |||
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"Just have a good old scratch and carry on eating your chips
You don’t scratch it with a chip then?
Hell no I'm not an animal
You’ll try it next time though "A salty crack no thanks, if I want gravy on my chips I'll buy some | |||
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"I pull down my pants, proudly stick my finger up there and have a merry old dig around. Sadly, it has come to my realisation that such behaviour in public spaces is not generally smiled upon though. ….well that’s what the officer told me anyway… "Those poor people on the bus that one time | |||
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"Dig into my grundies On a more important not does adjusting your nuts in public make you a perv " Probably not best done infront of one of those gyms with a big open front window | |||
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"Just have a good old scratch and carry on eating your chips
You don’t scratch it with a chip then?
Hell no I'm not an animal
You’ll try it next time though
A salty crack no thanks, if I want gravy on my chips I'll buy some "Northern boys love gravy | |||
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"Rub it against the lamp post or anything erect " Like a dog marking it’s territory | |||
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"I drag it on the floor …. "You could have worms dude | |||
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"A good old twist on my butt plug usually does the trick  "Is it a foxtail one? | |||
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"Tree just like yogi "Do you not get splinters? | |||
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"Tree just like yogi
Do you not get splinters? "yes | |||
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"A good old twist on my butt plug usually does the trick
Is it a foxtail one? "It is. Could you give it a tug to see if that helps? | |||
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"A good old twist on my butt plug usually does the trick
Is it a foxtail one?
It is. Could you give it a tug to see if that helps?"Errrrrrr, no, but thank you | |||
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"Thats where the expression yabba dabba doo comes from "I’m not sticking a club up there | |||
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"Rub it against the lamp post or anything erect Like a dog marking it’s territory "Yes. Just watch out for those brown stain marks. | |||
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place? Or check you don't have worms "Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms? | |||
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place? Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms? "Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo! | |||
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place? Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms?
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo! "I thought you could see them wriggling around the rim? | |||
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"Thats where the expression yabba dabba doo comes from
I’m not sticking a club up there "club biscuit would be nice | |||
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place? Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms?
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo!
I thought you could see them wriggling around the rim? "Ask a friend to look...... I am not that friend  | |||
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"I ask the nearest guy in the pub if he had something he can scratch my ass with " Oh! I suppose I mean “my itch” | |||
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"I ask the nearest guy in the pub if he had something he can scratch my ass with A table leg?? " Oooh I might squeal a bit but hey! Why not! | |||
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place? Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms?
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo!
I thought you could see them wriggling around the rim?
Ask a friend to look...... I am not that friend "You are the very definition of a party pooper | |||
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"Find the nearest corner of a building, then like a bear scratching its back on a tree, I twerk that shit. The mr " Brick dust is deadly if consumed up your bumhole | |||
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"Thats where the expression yabba dabba doo comes from
I’m not sticking a club up there club biscuit would be nice "Not even a little kitkat finger I’m afraid | |||
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"sounds like a few need a worming powder" Or a trim from the best trimmer around. Do you know of one? | |||
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place? Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms?
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo!
I thought you could see them wriggling around the rim?
Ask a friend to look...... I am not that friend "You’re not my friend | |||
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"I ask the nearest guy in the pub if he had something he can scratch my ass with A table leg?? Oooh I might squeal a bit but hey! Why not! " OK, a chair leg to start with | |||
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"Of course you could always wear a butt plug, walk like a 70's dolly bird and just enjoy every part of your day. pt" Is this why dolly birds walked like this? | |||
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"Well that's dinner ruined cheers everyone ?? "Make sure you wash under your nails before you eat | |||
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"Make sure someone's filming it, then bounce on the bonnet of a Rolls Royce. Enjoy every kink of that Spirit of Ecstasy as it rises up your anal passage. Then use the footage to make money on OF/YouTube "I’ll be your only fan | |||
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"Well that's dinner ruined cheers everyone ??
Make sure you wash under your nails before you eat "Literally only you could get away with this | |||
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"Well that's dinner ruined cheers everyone ??
Make sure you wash under your nails before you eat
Literally only you could get away with this "Nobody gets away from an itchy arse | |||
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"We both use butt wipes and since changing over to them from toilet paper, we don’t get itchy ring piece anymore! " Just wipe marks halfway up your back | |||
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"I suggest you stop putting ginger up there, and it won't itch so much." Figgin hell | |||
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"I’m not talking of an itchy arse cheek here, I’m talking about one that’s right up there. One where it would be easier to get at it down your throat??
Well then? What’s your technique?
Love and Peace "Just do what my dog does and drag your arse across the floor. Mind you'd want to be a trained acrobat to manage it | |||
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""Hold it out the window and let the breeze blow it off." 10 points if you get the reference. " Unless I've buggered up the quote. Think I might've. | |||
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""Hold it out the window and let the breeze blow it off." 10 points if you get the reference. Unless I've buggered up the quote. Think I might've." Don't worry. Rex will bugger up a lot more than a quote if you let him | |||
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"I’m not talking of an itchy arse cheek here, I’m talking about one that’s right up there. One where it would be easier to get at it down your throat??
Well then? What’s your technique?
Love and Peace
Just do what my dog does and drag your arse across the floor. Mind you'd want to be a trained acrobat to manage it "Down Shep | |||
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Jo.Xx | |||
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""Hold it out the window and let the breeze blow it off." 10 points if you get the reference. Unless I've buggered up the quote. Think I might've. Don't worry. Rex will bugger up a lot more than a quote if you let him "If you ask nicely | |||
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"I just back up to the nearest doorframe obviously!!
Jo.Xx "And let the knob slip in? | |||
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"I set off a party popper up there so when I fart later. People think i won the X factor!! "Golden buzzer? | |||
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"I set off a party popper up there so when I fart later. People think i won the X factor!!
Golden buzzer? "pmsl class!! | |||
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""Hold it out the window and let the breeze blow it off." 10 points if you get the reference. Unless I've buggered up the quote. Think I might've. Don't worry. Rex will bugger up a lot more than a quote if you let him
If you ask nicely " | |||
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"I just back up to the nearest doorframe obviously!!
Jo.Xx
And let the knob slip in? "Standard!
Jo.Xx | |||
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"I just back up to the nearest doorframe obviously!!
Jo.Xx
And let the knob slip in?
Standard!
Jo.Xx "Does D know? | |||
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"I find the nearest man with a large dong and ask him to scratch it with the end of his penisisisis. I do also look for a handsome face to go with the dong "I have neither | |||
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"I just back up to the nearest doorframe obviously!!
Jo.Xx
And let the knob slip in?
Standard!
Jo.Xx
Does D know? "Pppfftttt He's the one who laced my knickers with itching powder!
Jo.Xx | |||
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"I just back up to the nearest doorframe obviously!!
Jo.Xx
And let the knob slip in?
Standard!
Jo.Xx
Does D know?
Pppfftttt He's the one who laced my knickers with itching powder!
Jo.Xx "
D. | |||
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"Thats where the expression yabba dabba doo comes from
I’m not sticking a club up there club biscuit would be nice
Not even a little kitkat finger I’m afraid "it'd blend in though | |||
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"I go full on "Doggy poo stripe" and drag my arse along the hessian rug. Perfect" Doesn’t that tickle your ballbag? | |||
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"I just back up to the nearest doorframe obviously!!
Jo.Xx
And let the knob slip in?
Standard!
Jo.Xx
Does D know?
Pppfftttt He's the one who laced my knickers with itching powder!
Jo.Xx
D."Naughty D | |||
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"I go full on "Doggy poo stripe" and drag my arse along the hessian rug. Perfect Doesn’t that tickle your ballbag? " It can tear it to bits. | |||
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his hand went right down the back of his jeans and he had a good jab around, then he picked up his food and left | |||
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"I go full on "Doggy poo stripe" and drag my arse along the hessian rug. Perfect Doesn’t that tickle your ballbag? It can tear it to bits. "Poor sphincter | |||
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"At the hot food bit in Harthill Services the other week a guy clearly had that issue but didn't care his hand went right down the back of his jeans and he had a good jab around, then he picked up his food and left "Good lad | |||
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