FabSwingers.com forum: Making time...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

How good are you at making time for those you like? Whether platonic, sexually, romantically - you get the idea. It could be spending time with someone, messaging etc.

Do you sometimes wish you were better at it or are you happy with how things are?

*there was a random emote. Had to delete it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally find it difficult.. so easy to get swept away with life and end up feeling guilty that you've not taken the time to chat/

Message..

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By *.R.MMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

I’m generally quite good at making time although it’s not alway reciprocated but that’s just life

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm quite good, I'll always find time for those important to me, however I don't give my time easily to others, here for example, time is precious.

Mrs

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Oh Meli. Random emote? I'm distressed by this.

I'm very good at making time for those I like, I feel it's very important to do so. And that's in all ways. I try not to leave messages from friends or loved ones unread or unanswered, I always answer the phone, unless indisposed, I'll make time to spend with them.

Maybe I'm too good at it. There is a chance people see me as a pushover, too accommodating. I certainly feel as if sometimes people expect it.

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

I would say i will always try and give as much time as i can to people

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By *weetCherryWoman
over a year ago

London

On the rare occasion I really like someone I can’t help but being attentive…sometimes I wonder if it’s the adhd people pleaser in me or just that I am a caring person

Nonetheless, I am generous with my affection if I really like someone in a romantic way, family and friends, but a bit more guarded when things are platonic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is something I really wish I was better at. It isn’t even always that I’m busy, is sometimes that I am just doing nothing and still don’t find the energy/time to do these things

Have been really poor on my part of late

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On that note

Is something I am getting better at! For family, friends I am great at it!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

It’s difficult and one of the (many) reasons I’m not currently looking for anything. My time is split between working, looking after my mum, looking after my kids and looking after my 3 dogs. I don’t really have time to dedicate to anyone and if I really liked them I’d feel sad and maybe a bit resentful, and I don’t want that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty good at making time. Where there is a will, there is always a way.

Logistics can be tricky though so I'm pretty patient too xx

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

My kids work n sport dominate all my time at the minute and i dont mind it that way either its all go go go

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

If they’ve become one of my people, I will ensure I’m available and make time for them. They’re important to me. Life can get busy and things come up but communication is key, and managing expectations. Although it’s okay to express emotions such as disappointment if plans don’t go ahead, not as punishment or for a reaction but to ensure they’ve been processed and you’re being truthful. But live lightly and without enforcing constraint on others or yourself and carve out time to invest in your people, and all will be well.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Modus operandi I will make time for people I like.

On very rare occasions, if I really like someone and I can't work out if it's platonic, sexual or romantic my head can get into a spin and I start hearing the magic roundabout theme tune in my mind.

I usually call my mate then. When she is done pissing herself laughing at me - she resets my brain for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m really bad.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

There is never, ever enough time. I want more. More time with the people I care about, and more time with the people I want to kiss.

People sometimes have to be patient with me, and I’m so very lucky that they are.

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By *om-4-SubMan
over a year ago

KILMARNOCK

It's extremely difficult as I'm self employed and a single parent. I prioritise the kids and self care too be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep my circle ridiculously small. It becomes easy to make time for my people that way.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I think I am pretty good, the exception being meet availability here xx

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

I'm a terrible conversationalist through messaging I find it so hard, but in person I'm completely the opposite.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I would like to hope I'm good at making time for people. I always try to make sure I answer messages etc as soon as I can and not leave people on 'read'.

There are people I would like to have more time with but it can be more complicated to work in with work and family commitments on both sides. I will always try and make the effort to at least meet halfway as it's unfair for one person to always have to be the one to make the effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m really bad.

As a poly person a calendar which I share with people and send invites to people on has helped A LITTLE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not so great at it...

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I personally find it difficult.. so easy to get swept away with life and end up feeling guilty that you've not taken the time to chat/

Message..

Yeah, definitely. Sometimes I don't have headspace to talk to people one on one. I think my friends understand that.

There's a lot to be said for living in the moment, of course there is. I guess you carve time out of your busy life if you really want to.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Oh Meli. Random emote? I'm distressed by this.

Maybe I'm too good at it. There is a chance people see me as a pushover, too accommodating. I certainly feel as if sometimes people expect it.

I'm sorry Posh, I am. It just happened. I was typing and also trying to blow dry my hair - clearly can't multitask.

Aww that's really lovely! Sorry your experience is it becomes an expectation; how do you navigate that? Or are you a bit of a people pleaser?

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I suspect that I've constantly let people down because of promising too much to too many, and hopelessly underestimating how long it would take me to do anything. I stretch myself thin between work and commitment to others, try to give when perhaps sometimes I need to take, and probably don't give myself the time that I should. Resulting in an occasional emotional crash.

The last few years have been particularly trying, but I think that I have been too much like this all my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a true saying “if they wanted to, they would”

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I do try to as life is short! But often fail through being to busy/tired etc x

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

"I’m really bad.

Well you are a pickle lol

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

"I suspect that I've constantly let people down because of promising too much to too many, and hopelessly underestimating how long it would take me to do anything. I stretch myself thin between work and commitment to others, try to give when perhaps sometimes I need to take, and probably don't give myself the time that I should. Resulting in an occasional emotional crash.

The last few years have been particularly trying, but I think that I have been too much like this all my life."

I'm totally with you x

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’m kind of…bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make a huge effort with friends.

I text regularly, we do days out, theatre trips, cinema.

I've not met anyone romantically to be that on the ball with.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"How good are you at making time for those you like? Whether platonic, sexually, romantically - you get the idea. It could be spending time with someone, messaging etc.

Do you sometimes wish you were better at it or are you happy with how things are?

*there was a random emote. Had to delete it. "

I probably invest too much time in others if anything. I’ll go out my way to do anything for the people in my circle.

Anyone else get massively sensitive & upset when others don’t invest the same energy into relationships? Be that friends, family or romance?

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By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon

I’m getting better but get distracted quiet easily….. never make enough time for myself either….

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

It really depends if I've got the headspace for them, different people require different levels of energy.

I have plenty of time, but I have to plan quite carefully or I get all peopled out.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Oh Meli. Random emote? I'm distressed by this.

Maybe I'm too good at it. There is a chance people see me as a pushover, too accommodating. I certainly feel as if sometimes people expect it.

I'm sorry Posh, I am. It just happened. I was typing and also trying to blow dry my hair - clearly can't multitask.

Aww that's really lovely! Sorry your experience is it becomes an expectation; how do you navigate that? Or are you a bit of a people pleaser? "

I've been a bit of a people pleaser all my life, but I'm becoming better at figuring out when a relationship (of any type) has become completely one sided, and after I internally deal with the heartache and brain goblins, I can sometimes manage to take the first step away. I'm still learning.

Because I've had that experience so often, though, I do have a tendency to believe it is happening when it isn't. Messages left on read, someone forgetting details... they're all red... no, not red flags... maybe amber flags, to me. And I'm coming to find that in some cases that is unfair of me.

Trauma, past experience, they all help with learning curves I think, if we can unpack the detail and see the lesson.

I do think that most people try and make time for others, it just depends what time they have available and how they prioritise it. And sometimes I think we forget that the important thing is that we are on someone's priority list, not what number we are.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I won’t be breadcrumbed by anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This year, I’ve been awesome. Partly because filling empty space (time when I’ve got nothing to do) was much more preferable, so if anyone asked to do anything, I was all over it.

Last year, not so much, I just avoided everyone.

I’ve now realised the enjoyment I get from even the smallest meeting and catch up.

I want to know how people are getting along, if I can enhance their life like they do mine. That kinda thing.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

There are a small amount of people I will always make time for. And there are many more people that I sinoly won't.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Very good. But my circle is small and we all nurture each other. Spreading myself too thinly is something I've no intention of doing, regardless of the potential "Good Time"

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

I always make sure I have time for those that need me. I am helping a few friends through stuff at the moment. Not so good though at signalling I may need the same from time to time

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

For my family I have all the time in the world.

I don't have any real friends now, but the men in my life gey as much as they give.

I won't cancel on family for a man.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

We used to be very good at making time for other people, both established friends and family and also new connections. It felt good to give generously of our time and attention and heart and kindness. A lot has changed however, and these days we have become very bad at it. Life is busy and gets in the way, but also the desire to be close to others and be present in their lives, and have others be present in ours, has faded. We know that in some ways we are poorer for it, but in other ways, being distant from people is blessed relief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am happy to make time but more often than not when I can make time doesn't coincide often with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite possibly the bestest.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

I think I’m pretty good. Aside from hubby and the kids I don’t have a massive family and I live the other end of the country to my parents and brother so my friends are really important to me. I try to always fit some time in, even if it’s just a quick coffee and I rarely cancel on people. If not in person I always drop friends messages checking in on them and they do the same to me.

I also enjoy the connections I make on here and believe you have to invest a bit of time to get the best out of them.

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

Absolutely terrible I have to admit unfortunately! It’s something I am trying to work on and want to improve on my life

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

i will make time available.

the closest ones i hold when they need it. wipe away the tears when i have too.

i do this because i love them so its better coming from me

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

Rubbish at the moment life is hectic!

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I very much believe in if he/she wanted to they would. So I believe if you are interested in someone you make time for them, whether that be messaging, meeting, spending time with them.

Family and friends can get taken for granted because we think they'll always be there, so it's just as important to give them time and attention as well.

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

I’m terrible with plans

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

"How good are you at making time for those you like? Whether platonic, sexually, romantically - you get the idea. It could be spending time with someone, messaging etc.

Do you sometimes wish you were better at it or are you happy with how things are?

*there was a random emote. Had to delete it. "

When I care for someone, I find I can make time very easily.

I deeply care for my friends and I hope they feel the love from me.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I very much believe in if he/she wanted to they would. So I believe if you are interested in someone you make time for them, whether that be messaging, meeting, spending time with them.

Family and friends can get taken for granted because we think they'll always be there, so it's just as important to give them time and attention as well."

If they wanted to, they would is exactly the comment in a voice note that inspired this thread.

I know that life happens etc, sometimes I'm awful at making time for people. But if I really want to, I will. Might take a bit of time.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Got quite a bit of free time this week so if anyone is genuinely struggling, near northampton, and fancies a brew ping a message. Mr

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

I always make an effort if people have made an effort to me and that’s because I treat people how I want to be treated

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Messaging, there's people on here I used to regularly chat to morning noon and night and slowly that has disappeared into hardly ever and I miss it

Life took over and I let it slip when I shouldn't have.

Tinder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Terrible.. Work gets in the way of most things

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 16/05/23 10:01:28]

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"[Work got in the way for poster at 16/05/23 10:01:28]"

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"[Work got in the way for poster at 16/05/23 10:01:28]

Gutted. I really liked your original post Intrigued!

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley

It's difficult, and those that matter and care are not only aware, but generally in the same situation. Making time for my friends is easy because we are all on the same football team and we pretty much all support Liverpool. I have my kids half the week so that one is easy, and they like to see their grandparents once a week, so that part is easy, too.

Making time for someone new or someone special is always quite challenging, though, as I work a lot I'm between those times

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"[Work got in the way for poster at 16/05/23 10:01:28]

Gutted. I really liked your original post Intrigued!

What a waste of time!!

Jo.Xx

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