FabSwingers.com forum: Unexpected visitor.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So there I am naked, with a man, on my bed in my own home and it's just the two of us.

And then the front door opens. No knock first. It's left unlocked during awake hours if I'm home. My ex has turned up with the small me's as one of them wants something from the house. The small me in question just walks in and goes to get what they are after the others don't enter the house. Meanwhile naked man is left in my bedroom and the initial wtf from both us is like we've been having some sordid affair and the husband had just walked in the house. How awkward for both of us!

Should the ex have turned up when I hadn't answered a call from him an hour before? He knew I had no car. So I'm guessing he assumed I was home. But I still could have been out. And I could have had friends round, or been asleep, or naked... Which I was.

(and by posting this in a forum I now realise no one is ever going to come to me and I've just shot myself in the foot in that)

I have full consent from said naked man to post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the difficulties of blended lives with otherwise clear distinctions

Ideal, no? Innocent enough in the pursuit of the child's immediate needs, yeah.

Something you want to discuss in the future? Probably.

A funny story in the making. Oh indeed.

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By *ineapple_PrincessWoman
over a year ago

in the waves

Always one of my fears. My son has a key and tends to arrive out of nowhere at times. I've asked him to always text me first before he drops by but...I know at some stage it's going to happen.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I guess as it was your children coming into their home they thought it was ok.

Personally I'd rather they checked properly first because of the possibility of the very situation you describe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The ex had to drive them across town so doesn't it fall on him to check.

He was a tad shitty with me when I said he shouldn't turn up if I haven't answered messages or calls.

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

No, he should not. I am on amicable terms with my ex and she has keys to my house as we share parental responsibility so she can turn up and get kids stuff but only with prior chat and explicit permission. Can’t imagine any of us turn up by the door unannounced let alone entring house without even knocking

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It's not put me off getting naked in your bed but I'd probably ask you to lock the door

Shouldn't have just turned up and should have checked was ok first

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Yes small person needed something quite bad so it's justified. Mine have keys so this another reason why I don't accommodate at home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m assuming the child that entered the house lives with you. If that’s the case then I don’t see the problem. The ex didn’t enter the property and the child just came home.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

If the small was less small and was out alone but popped back for something without warning, how would you feel about that?

I feel that the ex was just doing as the small wanted, and that's a good thing. Not ideal in the circumstances, but not actually wrong. But I guess it also depends on whether the ex just walked in and poked about as well.

I also think that if you aren't comfortable with it then talk to the ex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So there I am naked, with a man, on my bed in my own home and it's just the two of us.

(and by posting this in a forum I now realise no one is ever going to come to me and I've just shot myself in the foot in that)

I have full consent from said naked man to post. "

Do a film

Carry on Petitelady

Be a winner

Confessions of petitelady

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

So he tried calling, but you ignored and it was your child that entered the house and no one else? If so I fail to see the issue tbh.

You could have told him you had company.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Lucky it was them and not burglars with door being unlocked....

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By *usty kayWoman
over a year ago

Burnham

This is a tricky one and depends what relationship you have/want with your ex and whether you want the children to feel like they can drop home whenever they want even when with dad.

At least you were in the bedroom and not on the sofa

Seems like said naked man found the funny side so no harm done

I have a teenage son who is in 6th form so just appears when I think he should be at school etc. It has dampened the extra curricula fun for me for a while as thats my worst nightmare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inconsiderate. He could of brought maccies

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By *appy HoHolly DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

My ex would definitely do that and rightfully so as it’s the kids’ home after all.

That’s why I will never accommodate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair enough the child wanted something from home so the ex drove them round, I'd have no issue with that.

But, I'd always have my door locked so anyone arriving unexpected had to knock.

Also, how many nutcases are there in the world now, you never know if any random person or thief will ever take an opportunity to try your door and just walk in. If you was in the shower or had music on as an example you'd never hear them walk in.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

You said you didn’t answer a call from him an hour earlier so it sounds like he attempted to call ahead first to check.

Yes, you were busy but then you could have just locked the door and then he’d just assume you were out when he called round…

I suspect you won’t make that mistake again

These things happen - I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault - it’s an innocent thing to happen.

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By *ustcuriousgeorgeMan
over a year ago

Shropshire

I think I’d lock the door from now on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So there I am naked, with a man, on my bed in my own home and it's just the two of us.

(and by posting this in a forum I now realise no one is ever going to come to me and I've just shot myself in the foot in that)

I have full consent from said naked man to post. "

Can’t see much of and issue here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put the dead lock on no one can get in then do what you want then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/05/23 15:51:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So he tried calling you which you never responded too. I think depending on what it was the child wanted then him popping the child round was justified, he waited an hour for a response which is reasonable I think. Child probably doesn't realise that they need permission to enter their own home while in the care of the father.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"The ex would have walked in if I had said some thin gnome from upstairs asking why they had shown up.

And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned. "

Sorry the typos made it impossible to get what you meant matey.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The ex would have walked in if I had said some thin gnome from upstairs asking why they had shown up.

And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned.

Sorry the typos made it impossible to get what you meant matey."

The ex would have walked in if I had said something from upstairs asking why they had shown up.

And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The ex would have walked in if I had said some thin gnome from upstairs asking why they had shown up.

And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned.

Sorry the typos made it impossible to get what you meant matey.

The ex would have walked in if I had said something from upstairs asking why they had shown up.

And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned."

*hadnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You said you didn’t answer a call from him an hour earlier so it sounds like he attempted to call ahead first to check.

Yes, you were busy but then you could have just locked the door and then he’d just assume you were out when he called round…

I suspect you won’t make that mistake again

These things happen - I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault - it’s an innocent thing to happen.

K"
This

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
over a year ago

kendal

Your ex tried to ring you, probably to ask if you were home so they could come and collect what they wanted.

But you didn't answer the call.

I'm going to assume that your children live with you the majority of the time?

If so, it's there home as much as yours, so they've as much right to just walk into it, as you do

Id probably reccommend locking the door if you have company of the naked kind in future.

And answering your phone when the person who is caring for your children tries to contact you.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

It's not something I took notes on but I can't remember anyone not locking the door when we met, either by key or deadbolt. Upping and walking out of their house wasn't something done, they always seemed to see me out at the door.

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

Lol lock your door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This went well I feel.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

He should have at least knocked.

Always lock your door, regardless.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Would have locked door and kept key in so couldn't b opened from other side! Not that I leave mine unlocked as have had strangers this way try doors over the years x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bang out of order :

I would never approach the building with out confirmation .

Unless a desperate emergency of a item immediately needed - Wich I very doubt .

and would knock , shout the name of bell wouldn’t work .

Enter the permisses with out permission I find it extremelly rude .

even being harmless .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never toke my daughter back to her mums with out a confirmation that th other side is ready to welcome her back home .

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Honest opinion.

Yes he shouldn’t just walk in without confirming his arrival children or not.

But you should really lock your door when you have visitors. And do not wishes to be disturbed.

The mr

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

If they left something at his would you turn up without confirmation it's ok to?

You need a discussion about this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lucky it was them and not burglars with door being unlocked...."

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

My kids walk in to their home regardless of whose weekend it is. It's their home and they are always welcome in it. If the ex walked in with them, I would kick off big time I would add.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ex had to drive them across town so doesn't it fall on him to check.

He was a tad shitty with me when I said he shouldn't turn up if I haven't answered messages or calls. "

Shows a distinct lack of respect, communication is still key between adults especially with the kids, has all the makings of something to giggle about in the future, life’s too short eh

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

When I am home alone and everyone is out at work I leave the key in the lock if I need privacy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve always locked my door when on a meet I even lock it when I’m home alone, my young adults have keys but they always let me know if they are coming around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly be thankful you were in the bedroom not naked in the lounge!

Defo lock the door x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knock on my exes. I also gave all keys back as she needs her privacy.

But I’ll happily send the kids in first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's always awkward for the current partner when the ex arrives unexpectedly regardless of situation.

But yes, he shouldn't of just turned up...regardless of what he's doing he could of phoned again once outside to see if you was available

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mini me is now 24, & would still stroll in my house unannounced. I lock my front door, & use the dead bolt as she's got a key still

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I would be fuming with him, its disrespectful!

Theres precious little that a small needs to get belatedly, that couldnt have waited, I suspect.

It sounds like inappropriate behaviour on his part.

He should have waited for a response.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My door is always open unless I was having a meet then it definetly would be locked.

My son is an adult and welcome to turn up whenever he feels like.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"Honest opinion.

Yes he shouldn’t just walk in without confirming his arrival children or not.

But you should really lock your door when you have visitors. And do not wishes to be disturbed.

The mr "

Did he walk in? the op said the child walked in and everyone else stayed outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surprised at some of the harsher comments expressed.

I would want to know more in order to comment properly, like how old was small me and how important was the thing he wanted?

If I was in your ex's position, I would not have driven over if no answer to my call.

He should have knocked.

But you've learnt keep your door locked.

Hope you get an opportunity to discuss ground rules with him in an amicable manner.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honest opinion.

Yes he shouldn’t just walk in without confirming his arrival children or not.

But you should really lock your door when you have visitors. And do not wishes to be disturbed.

The mr

Did he walk in? the op said the child walked in and everyone else stayed outside."

Surely that's pretty crap of the ex if true. No answer to the phone call but the door was unlocked. OP could have been injured or attacked- child would have found her.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"So he tried calling you which you never responded too. I think depending on what it was the child wanted then him popping the child round was justified, he waited an hour for a response which is reasonable I think. Child probably doesn't realise that they need permission to enter their own home while in the care of the father.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When me and C met for the first time something really similar happened and I thought she was secretly married!! We laugh about it now but at the time it was so awkward

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