FabSwingers.com forum: Postcoital dysphoria

By *imply Dee OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

When you get a sad, tearful or irritable feeling after consensual sex.

Anyone else struggle with this?

I must admit menopause has highlighted this for me immensely, and even I’m pretty much in tune with my body and my emotions, this one really stops me from meeting people. Just wanted to hear from others who might have experienced similar issues and how do you cope.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I find that I tend towards the emotional after particularly intense orgasms. But for me they're very much affected by the mood and situation, so there's only been a couple of unfortunate times when it's brought me down to that kind of mood.

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

The closest I had which sounds similar would be sub drop which needed some time and comfort to help calm, lots of snuggles, good food and maybe a bath

I’m not sure if you have the same or different though, either way it’s good you know your body and mind enough to see something happening and figure out what it could be

(Hugs)

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
over a year ago

kendal

I get sub drop, which is kinda similar after a particularly intense meet/scene!

Haven't had a bout for ages tho as haven't been a claimed sub for a long time.

But I used to find talking it out with someone (a trusted friend perhaps) used to help me loads! Xx

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By *imply Dee OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I find that I tend towards the emotional after particularly intense orgasms. But for me they're very much affected by the mood and situation, so there's only been a couple of unfortunate times when it's brought me down to that kind of mood."

That’s interesting to hear because I now recall it happens to me too after a particularly intense orgasm, it’s almost primal but I’m not sure it’s got something to do with hormones releasing or not. I would need to dig deeper I think.

Thank you for your reply x

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By *imply Dee OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

I should’ve add to the post this is something completely different from sub drop. I’ve experienced those before and as you said above, those are quite easy to manage with tools like you said and I had also an amazing dom but this feels different.

I noticed it doesn’t happen with group play, more so with 1:1. I think it’s attachment avoidance based, I’ll dig deeper into it.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I think the oxytocin release when intimate can get difficult to manage esp in 1:1. The overwhelming bonding and attachment that surges but then may not be played out in actuality/practicality of a meet (they leave) leaving you bereft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this experience just the once. We then went out for dinner, and we had to leave because I was so tearful, overwhelmed, and emotional. I couldn't explain it, and still can't now.

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By *imply Dee OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I think the oxytocin release when intimate can get difficult to manage esp in 1:1. The overwhelming bonding and attachment that surges but then may not be played out in actuality/practicality of a meet (they leave) leaving you bereft. "

It might as well be that.

But then how about solo misery wanks, when all I want to do after is cry in my pillow (or my wine glass, depending on circumstances). It seriously baffles me.

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By *imply Dee OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I've had this experience just the once. We then went out for dinner, and we had to leave because I was so tearful, overwhelmed, and emotional. I couldn't explain it, and still can't now. "

Sorry to hear it happened. Me too I can’t explain it, but I wish I could.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like what the French call La petite mort (the little death).

According to Wikipedia La petite mort refers to the spiritual release that comes with orgasm or to a short period of melancholy or transcendence as a result of the expenditure of the "life force”.

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By *imply Dee OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

"Sounds like what the French call La petite mort (the little death).

According to Wikipedia La petite mort refers to the spiritual release that comes with orgasm or to a short period of melancholy or transcendence as a result of the expenditure of the "life force”. "

Also called “tristesse”, and I like that explanation. Don’t you just love the French.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They certainly have a way with words

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I can remember it happening to me, maybe like 3 times? No idea why... One of those things! Obviously needed the release.

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By *imply Dee OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I can remember it happening to me, maybe like 3 times? No idea why... One of those things! Obviously needed the release. "

I think too, the release plays a big part in this.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I kind of feel an emptiness these days not so much sadness once im out of the moment like i was doing it for the sake of it its not the same as it used to be for me so il stay out of all that stuff and let my hand keep me busy

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