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People threatening to quit fab

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Nope and if they did I’d open the door for them.

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"Nope and if they did I’d open the door for them. "

That beard game is strong

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

"

A threat implies damage to someone, how would leaving the site ever cause that?

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Nope and if they did I’d open the door for them.

That beard game is strong "

Cheers mucka. Us beardos need to stick together.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

"

Lots of people.

Some still leave and some stay.

Some that leave come back a fortnight later. Almost to the day. As if they created a new profile 2 minutes after leaving.......

A

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

A threat implies damage to someone, how would leaving the site ever cause that?"

Suicide, I dunno

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Just scream’s attention seeking to us.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I've never threatened to leave but I have considered it occasionally.

I've seen people threaten and their gender influences the reaction they get usually. I just think that they're frustrated by some aspect of the site and everyone needs a little attention. There's no harm in it. If course there are people for who the site isn't suitable either for their mental health or their requirements and it's best if they do go

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

[Removed by poster at 14/05/23 09:22:10]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I’ve been begging just Pete not to go but he doesn’t listen.

I even let him touch my beautiful penis.

Alas…’‘twas not enough

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I've never threatened to leave but I have considered it occasionally.

I've seen people threaten and their gender influences the reaction they get usually. I just think that they're frustrated by some aspect of the site and everyone needs a little attention. There's no harm in it. If course there are people for who the site isn't suitable either for their mental health or their requirements and it's best if they do go"

Articulated it a lot better than me.

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Site supporter runs out, is it worth me staying?

Expected response "pleaaase don't go, I love you, I'm sorry I ever ignored you"

Actual response "the telephone dial tone, doooooo"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who threaten aren't going to leave, they are just looking for someone to notice. If I want to leave I just do quietly out the back door like most people.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“ I’m not fuckin leavin “

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By *enerifehotwifecplCouple
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

All too funny x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I just leave.

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

There's better ways to reach out than threaten to leave.

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"There's better ways to reach out than threaten to leave.

"

Maybe but when all else fails that's their only option

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough "

Put a pic of their face??? A pic of their elbow would be enough for some men to be begging to meet

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
over a year ago

kendal

I don't understand why people do this for any reason other than attention.

Like they're not a bloody aeroplane, they don't need to announce Thier departure....

Just skulk off quietly with ya dignity in tact, it just smacks of desperation when there is some big dramatic flouncing episode.

Obviously if you've got friends here who you message regularly or know in real life, then a quick inbox to say 'im gonna have a wee break from fab for a while so if my profile disappears you know why' would surfice.

There is no need for the drama

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough

Put a pic of their face??? A pic of their elbow would be enough for some men to be begging to meet"

You replied to my quote. Meet me?

.... I see that a lot

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"There is no need for the drama "

A LOT of peeps in here thrive in it!

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough

Put a pic of their face??? A pic of their elbow would be enough for some men to be begging to meet"

You don't even needs pics when you're a woman on here , when I first joined and I hadn't found the message filters, I had no pic up for a few days and was told loads of times how sexy I was and did I want to meet when I had a blank profile .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Aren't we all here for attention? People just seek it on different ways

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Aren't we all here for attention? People just seek it on different ways "

I’d prefer it in a non pity/fake way personally.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Aren't we all here for attention? People just seek it on different ways

I’d prefer it in a non pity/fake way personally."

Fair enough but I suspect you get a lot of attention anyway as a very attractive couple.

How about the people who feel marginalised?

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough

Put a pic of their face??? A pic of their elbow would be enough for some men to be begging to meet

You don't even needs pics when you're a woman on here , when I first joined and I hadn't found the message filters, I had no pic up for a few days and was told loads of times how sexy I was and did I want to meet when I had a blank profile .

"

And how beautiful us ladies all are when we don't even have visible face photo

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Reminds me of people threatening to leave in a relasionship just to get the attention, to gain control or to make themselves empowered.

You want to go then go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hotlist them and see how long they last

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol yes but honestly I’m thinking, don’t let the door hit you in the ass in your way out

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Aren't we all here for attention? People just seek it on different ways

I’d prefer it in a non pity/fake way personally.

Fair enough but I suspect you get a lot of attention anyway as a very attractive couple.

How about the people who feel marginalised?"

Will take the compliment, thanks, but we don’t see ourselves like that. Solid 6/7.

I wouldn’t be comfortable taking pity/fake attention regardless, it would make things worse imo. Plus there’s PLENTY of likeminded folk, lots of different shapes & sizes etc.

I always tell people that if their self worth/confidence is that low this REALLY isn’t the site to be hopping on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough "

This is very true! X

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"People who threaten aren't going to leave, they are just looking for someone to notice. If I want to leave I just do quietly out the back door like most people."
,,,this

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I'm not intending to ever leave! But if I did I would defo announce it though! x

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

We leave every now and then when vanilla life gets in the way but certainly don't boardcast it because who cares?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People who threaten aren't going to leave, they are just looking for someone to notice. If I want to leave I just do quietly out the back door like most people.,,,this"

I'm leaving right now....look at me, I'll be gone but not today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone wants to leave it’s up to them, but sometimes they might just genuinely need to chat with someone. And just not feel confident enough to ask for help.

So saying they’re leaving might just need someone to say “don’t go, stay… you’ll be missed” or a DM to see if they’re ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“ I’m not fuckin leavin “ "

I’M NOT FUCKIN LEAVIN!!!!!!

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Lots who post those I'm leaving threads get plenty asking them to stay .I've rarely seen one that has no one asking them to stay. A lot of times they don't leave. Is it attention seeking or just someone wanting to say goodbye because they were actually thinking of leaving,well only the op who posts knows that.

Plus I suppose it's easier to say goodbye in a thread if they are forum users because all messages get deleted when they leave so maybe that's why some who do leave post them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends who, it’s nice having eye candy around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It depends who, it’s nice having eye candy around. "

I knew I had a reason to hang around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah if I’m leaving I usually post to let people know. I keep in contact with people but only who want to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

"

me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me. Threatened to leave. Begged myself not to go. And here I remain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“ I’m not fuckin leavin “

I’M NOT FUCKIN LEAVIN!!!!!!"

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"Reminds me of people threatening to leave in a relasionship just to get the attention, to gain control or to make themselves empowered.

You want to go then go.

"

Oh yes that's a power game. Or the ones that tell you leave and then kick off when you do. If you go now don't ever come back!

You just told me to leave?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lots who post those I'm leaving threads get plenty asking them to stay .I've rarely seen one that has no one asking them to stay. A lot of times they don't leave. Is it attention seeking or just someone wanting to say goodbye because they were actually thinking of leaving,well only the op who posts knows that.

Plus I suppose it's easier to say goodbye in a thread if they are forum users because all messages get deleted when they leave so maybe that's why some who do leave post them.

"

I don’t think anyone has asked me to stay before.

I think people in those posts generally just wish people well and say goodbye.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Nah if I’m leaving I usually post to let people know. I keep in contact with people but only who want to. "

Don’t go. Stay!

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Lots who post those I'm leaving threads get plenty asking them to stay .I've rarely seen one that has no one asking them to stay. A lot of times they don't leave. Is it attention seeking or just someone wanting to say goodbye because they were actually thinking of leaving,well only the op who posts knows that.

Plus I suppose it's easier to say goodbye in a thread if they are forum users because all messages get deleted when they leave so maybe that's why some who do leave post them.

I don’t think anyone has asked me to stay before.

I think people in those posts generally just wish people well and say goodbye. "

Lies.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

People who announce they are leaving are just seeking attention - as are most of the faux “oh please don’t go, this place won’t be the same without you” responses. I have news for them - it will be the same. Let them go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah if I’m leaving I usually post to let people know. I keep in contact with people but only who want to.

Don’t go. Stay!"

I’m off it’s too late!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Aren't we all here for attention? People just seek it on different ways

I’d prefer it in a non pity/fake way personally.

Fair enough but I suspect you get a lot of attention anyway as a very attractive couple.

How about the people who feel marginalised?

Will take the compliment, thanks, but we don’t see ourselves like that. Solid 6/7.

I wouldn’t be comfortable taking pity/fake attention regardless, it would make things worse imo. Plus there’s PLENTY of likeminded folk, lots of different shapes & sizes etc.

I always tell people that if their self worth/confidence is that low this REALLY isn’t the site to be hopping on."

And yet there are often threads from men asking for their wives who currently have doubts about their attractiveness to be reassured and a legion of men ready to do it, threads from women saying they feel fat/ugly/old followed by replies telling them they're gorgeous. I agree that genuine approbation is rare and the kind you get here is like filling up on Mars bars when you're really hungry, it satisfies for a short while but in the long run gives you spots and rots your teeth

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Nah if I’m leaving I usually post to let people know. I keep in contact with people but only who want to.

Don’t go. Stay!

I’m off it’s too late!! "

*watches you leave in a melancholy fashion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm leaving I'd treat it like the end of a sloppy fuck....and slip out quietly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone wants to leave it’s up to them, but sometimes they might just genuinely need to chat with someone. And just not feel confident enough to ask for help.

So saying they’re leaving might just need someone to say “don’t go, stay… you’ll be missed” or a DM to see if they’re ok.

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
over a year ago

M20


"Just scream’s attention seeking to us."

Most of the daily updates are the same needy people supplying their narcissistic feed.

Daily updaters are a red flag to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough "

Women don't need to put up any pics or text and they can get offers.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I do like a good Fab flounce though

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

When my time comes to leave I will message a few people on fabs who’s phone number I don’t have telling them I am leaving and giving my phone number in case they want to stay in contact then a couple of days later I delete my fabs profile.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Just scream’s attention seeking to us.

Most of the daily updates are the same needy people supplying their narcissistic feed.

Daily updaters are a red flag to me."

How would anyone be successful on fab without seeking at least some attention?

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By *ash0000Man
over a year ago

Southwest

Someone older and local ish to me will quite often put… this site is shit, not renewing membership, leaving in a few days blah blah. But never does and the status clears.

And I want to message..Please effing go then! but I can’t as I’m far too old for her in the age bracket lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It depends who, it’s nice having eye candy around.

I knew I had a reason to hang around "

Exactly, this is why there’s more men than women on here…….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It depends who, it’s nice having eye candy around.

I knew I had a reason to hang around

Exactly, this is why there’s more men than women on here……. "

Fuck, your right...I'm off then

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

A threat implies damage to someone, how would leaving the site ever cause that?

Suicide, I dunno"

A threat does NOT imply damage to someone.

The O.P. said , ' Who has ever made the threat to leave the site.'

Nothing to do with harm to others or the self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

"

I occasionally consider leaving and let friends know in a message - there is a lot of pressure to just let my profile be dormant for a while... But it doesn't resolve the yo-yo of being here, so I can see why people do it in a thread - if you put it in a thread you are more likely to go through with it maybe?

Some are flouncing or want attention, but some are genuinely hurting and low.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough "

Oh no they don't .....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aren't we all here for attention? People just seek it on different ways

I’d prefer it in a non pity/fake way personally.

Fair enough but I suspect you get a lot of attention anyway as a very attractive couple.

How about the people who feel marginalised?

Will take the compliment, thanks, but we don’t see ourselves like that. Solid 6/7.

I wouldn’t be comfortable taking pity/fake attention regardless, it would make things worse imo. Plus there’s PLENTY of likeminded folk, lots of different shapes & sizes etc.

I always tell people that if their self worth/confidence is that low this REALLY isn’t the site to be hopping on.

And yet there are often threads from men asking for their wives who currently have doubts about their attractiveness to be reassured and a legion of men ready to do it, threads from women saying they feel fat/ugly/old followed by replies telling them they're gorgeous. I agree that genuine approbation is rare and the kind you get here is like filling up on Mars bars when you're really hungry, it satisfies for a short while but in the long run gives you spots and rots your teeth"

Wow we'd have to close the lounge forum, there would just be tumble

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Seen a few goodbye threads and then that person has gone UNLOS. But they’re genuinely not looking for affirmation as often they give reasons why they’re going.

I have contemplated it a few times but when I do, it’ll be done off the forums. But I will contact those friends I’ve made over the years to say goodbye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this like the ‘celebrities’ on twitter saying they are leaving because they feel ‘socially drained’ and ‘it’s not the right place for them right now’ ….. my heart bleeds ….. on my L shaped leather sofa…… life’s so hard eh , I’m not sure what they call it cos I’m old and not down with the kids (saying down with the kids proves that) is it virtue signaling? …. Look at me one last time because I need to feel important,

Sits down, dishes out the popcorn …..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough

Oh no they don't ..... "

Oh yes they do…

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough

Oh no they don't .....

Oh yes they do…"

On NO they DON'T!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men have it rough tbf

They have to put in so much work just to be in with a sniff.

Women only need to put a pic of their face and that's enough

Oh no they don't .....

Oh yes they do…

On NO they DON'T! "

At least you’re fun, Granny. Even if you’re clearly a fake

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By *rambuie100Man
over a year ago

essex/suffolk border

Attention seeking, just like a vague social media post

I think the general new male, preconception leads to this too.

As it’s a swinging site, the assumption is that all the members are “ up for it , easy “ etc…. They send first approach messages that wouldn’t turn a light switch on, then wonder why they dont get replied too. Ego crushed as cant even pull on Fab… their misconception of members has caused own downfall.

You wouldn’t walk upto someone in a pub and tell them utter filth, but the remoteness of online, seems to remove that filter…

So if you wanna leave, strap on ya dignity and walk away… or try harder and realise ya cock isn’t a magic wand with instant pantie dropping upgrades

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By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

Feel free to announce you’re leaving. It’s pointless really.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've never threatened to leave which is a constant source of annoyance and disappointment to some.

I have left a few times before and come back months later but never announced my exit or entrance.

Some people need constant reassurance and validation but to those saying they are on the wrong site if they are struggling with that I would tend to disagree.

Most of the attention and validation may be wafer thin but for many people that's exactly what they require.

A gossamer veil to add to their shallow personalities and personas.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

[Removed by poster at 14/05/23 10:29:26]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Aren't we all here for attention? People just seek it on different ways

I’d prefer it in a non pity/fake way personally.

Fair enough but I suspect you get a lot of attention anyway as a very attractive couple.

How about the people who feel marginalised?

Will take the compliment, thanks, but we don’t see ourselves like that. Solid 6/7.

I wouldn’t be comfortable taking pity/fake attention regardless, it would make things worse imo. Plus there’s PLENTY of likeminded folk, lots of different shapes & sizes etc.

I always tell people that if their self worth/confidence is that low this REALLY isn’t the site to be hopping on.

And yet there are often threads from men asking for their wives who currently have doubts about their attractiveness to be reassured and a legion of men ready to do it, threads from women saying they feel fat/ugly/old followed by replies telling them they're gorgeous. I agree that genuine approbation is rare and the kind you get here is like filling up on Mars bars when you're really hungry, it satisfies for a short while but in the long run gives you spots and rots your teeth"

Yup I’ve commented on a few. The “Rate my wife” threads baffle me. No one wants a genuine answer and if someone dare say “2/10” they’d get lambasted and if they put something like “bit rough” likely a ban.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re a forum regular & female then generally the reaction will be a positive one.

If you’re not a regular / single man, then brace yourself for incoming piss-take comments.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"If you’re a forum regular & female then generally the reaction will be a positive one.

If you’re not a regular / single man, then brace yourself for incoming piss-take comments."

I’m a forum regular and get the opposite as don’t sugar coat things and don’t give out false praise.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

No I hold the door open from them, I’ll be polite and pass them an umbrella if it’s raining but that’s about it.

The mr

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire


"If you’re a forum regular & female then generally the reaction will be a positive one.

If you’re not a regular / single man, then brace yourself for incoming piss-take comments."

Roxi

I love it when you come back.

Gives me new hope that this could be the time I get to shag you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you’re a forum regular & female then generally the reaction will be a positive one.

If you’re not a regular / single man, then brace yourself for incoming piss-take comments.

I’m a forum regular and get the opposite as don’t sugar coat things and don’t give out false praise. "

Couples = mixed response - depends on who they think is doing the chatting (based on the pics)

Start a “I’m leaving thread”, see how it goes

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"If you’re a forum regular & female then generally the reaction will be a positive one.

If you’re not a regular / single man, then brace yourself for incoming piss-take comments.

I’m a forum regular and get the opposite as don’t sugar coat things and don’t give out false praise.

Couples = mixed response - depends on who they think is doing the chatting (based on the pics)

Start a “I’m leaving thread”, see how it goes "

Would get cheered as I cried myself out the door.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Nope, but the OP of such threads probably need therapy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nope, but the OP of such threads probably need therapy "

I'm having 3 sessions a week already, there's only so much I can do a week as a therapist

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

"

Majority of the time I ignore and think 'off you fuck then'

It's horrible when you see people being bullied off the site, but then people who have just tend to leave they don't announce it

Makes me laugh when people quit, come back, quit, come back, quit, come back.... ad infinitum.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you’re a forum regular & female then generally the reaction will be a positive one.

If you’re not a regular / single man, then brace yourself for incoming piss-take comments.

I’m a forum regular and get the opposite as don’t sugar coat things and don’t give out false praise.

Couples = mixed response - depends on who they think is doing the chatting (based on the pics)

Start a “I’m leaving thread”, see how it goes

Would get cheered as I cried myself out the door. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

I ain't got no issues with any posts, people can post about anything, wherever it's there leaving or they want attention blah blah etc, what gets me there could be two identical posts by two different people and there genuine feeling it at that moment in time,in one post there be saying oh don't leave etc and in the next post there be saying we'll fuck off then etc,and if you have a opinion and a popular member doesn't like it then expect a few others to turn on you. I understand everyone is trying to impress the women males tv couples etc to get a meet but the sucking up is laughable yes miss yes sir whatever you say I totally agree

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Either way, you'll get no such response from us

As soon as you ask them why they're going or don't go then you could end up feeling an obligation to them and the party in question will form a connection to you.

So na, you go if you want to, we won't stop you because you're a grown ass adult and we are not responsible for your choices

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a shame we can’t transfer site supporters

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do t blame people threatening to leave, I’ve had a status up for hours, and not one reply.

Everyone has wasted my time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

As soon as you ask them why they're going or don't go then you could end up feeling an obligation to them and the party in question will form a connection to you.

"

Exactly this. They’re invariably looking for an ally or someone to latch onto and I’m too slippy for latching onto

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

Does it really affect your use of the site if they do make a fuss?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people..."

Absolutely agree with this. Or y'know, you could pile on and tell them to stop attention seeking.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Attention seeking at its finest x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

People will have their reasons to leave and sometimes might be the tight thing for them. What can be upsetting is when you hear either from them or others that their reason was the abusive behaviour of other people on here. You can never assume what may have happened, but sadly there are some inconsiderate, selfish, aggressive people even in the forums that can get to someone after a while. Best of course to ignore them or even report if warranted as sometimes is the case.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people..."

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eard and Tatts OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran


"People will have their reasons to leave and sometimes might be the tight thing for them. What can be upsetting is when you hear either from them or others that their reason was the abusive behaviour of other people on here. You can never assume what may have happened, but sadly there are some inconsiderate, selfish, aggressive people even in the forums that can get to someone after a while. Best of course to ignore them or even report if warranted as sometimes is the case. "

The site is overrun with pests and liars. That's invariably the risk you run being here

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Not everyone does it for attention, not at all. Recently someone did it who seems to get plenty of love here - so why not carry on just being here instead? Some are quite sad, and some will surely be positive leaves too (esp on Fabguys I found - I remember one where, after quite a lot of men said "don't go" - though not me I'm proud to say - he literally went back to the woman he loved!).

Last year on here I made a thread that said something like 'sod this I'm off for the sun', and was happy with the two replies I got! (yes of course I looked, most people will). One was from gentleman Jim and another saying I'm right I think. So no harm in saying when you're buggering off for me, nor in coming back some later date. pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Not everyone does it for attention, not at all. Recently someone did it who seems to get plenty of love here - so why not carry on just being here instead? Some are quite sad, and some will surely be positive leaves too (esp on Fabguys I found - I remember one where, after quite a lot of men said "don't go" - though not me I'm proud to say - he literally went back to the woman he loved!).

Last year on here I made a thread that said something like 'sod this I'm off for the sun', and was happy with the two replies I got! (yes of course I looked, most people will). One was from gentleman Jim and another saying I'm right I think. So no harm in saying when you're buggering off for me, nor in coming back some later date. pt"

Alternatively just leave and come back when you fancy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I expect when most people leave they need the break and don't envisage coming back. It's not demeaning anyone else, so people should be able to do it if they want.

Just noticed the OP said 'threatening' to leave. I have seen that on FG, but tbh I don't think I have on FS. I think most people have decided they need to do it (ie they need the break from here) and are just saying bye. It's a natural thing to do when you have put a lot into a place like this imo. pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

Don't get it myself does seem like attention seeking, I've personally left a few times and hid the profile but didn't tell people I was going to

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too "

Here's the typical response that I've become accustomed to over thr many years that I've been on fab. I never said that you have responsibility for people's rejection issues or how they recieve that. My point still stands that empathy and thought for others goes along way..

We all gain validation from off fab. You show me someone who says they don't and I'll show you lier. When some one shows us that attention then that makes us feel good. So I.e validating someone's feelings. It's nice to be nice remember that

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *opman121Man
over a year ago

stoke on trent

There choice they pop back up as someone else later lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I expect when most people leave they need the break and don't envisage coming back. It's not demeaning anyone else, so people should be able to do it if they want.

Just noticed the OP said 'threatening' to leave. I have seen that on FG, but tbh I don't think I have on FS. I think most people have decided they need to do it (ie they need the break from here) and are just saying bye. It's a natural thing to do when you have put a lot into a place like this imo. pt"

You’re right, people can do what they want, but it just screams attention seeking. Imo it’s not overly mature, and if you’re seeking validation from randoms on a swinging site, you should probably work on your self confidence.

I’m very aware I come across cold, rude and unnecessarily blunt on here, but I’m very genuine and will do anything for anyone that’s struggling. A brilliant example will be one of the regs on here that got torn to shreds in the forum and was struggling. Took him out for coffee & cake (the cake was amazing) and had a nice chat.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too

Here's the typical response that I've become accustomed to over thr many years that I've been on fab. I never said that you have responsibility for people's rejection issues or how they recieve that. My point still stands that empathy and thought for others goes along way..

We all gain validation from off fab. You show me someone who says they don't and I'll show you lier. When some one shows us that attention then that makes us feel good. So I.e validating someone's feelings. It's nice to be nice remember that "

Is fake validation really nice though?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eepFkrMan
over a year ago

Saltash

Some people think it’s like an airport lounge where they have to announce their departure. Same happens on social media groups too.

It’s a form of attention seeking. Those that announce it very rarely leave and if they do, they come back.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

"

I’ve had someone beg me to go, is that the same?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

I’ve had someone beg me to go, is that the same?"

I hope you went full petty and showed your face more often?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too

Here's the typical response that I've become accustomed to over thr many years that I've been on fab. I never said that you have responsibility for people's rejection issues or how they recieve that. My point still stands that empathy and thought for others goes along way..

We all gain validation from off fab. You show me someone who says they don't and I'll show you lier. When some one shows us that attention then that makes us feel good. So I.e validating someone's feelings. It's nice to be nice remember that

Is fake validation really nice though?"

Problem is as humans we tend to fix an internal problem with external solutions. So any external validation is all ultimately fake. What it comes down to is the meaning that we attach to it.....anyway thats me now going into work mode...so fuck that and just fab my pics as I'm.needy as fuck

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too

"

Just from the forum angle though, is a Lounge forum (or a Politics one for that matter) just about sex? I think people use this site for all kinds of reasons. I remember arguing this point on FG in the middle of the pandemic, with a guy who had completely forgotten the lockdown was on! I used to get asked for meets almost every day during the pandemic over there, a lot of young people esp were gagging for it. I wondered about the sense in keeping it open, but in general FG was a place people could go to I think. The forum there actually went from really small to huge during that time. People got really connected to it.

But if this is more about people saying "Is this site really worth it, I've had enough of x and am thinking no" if I reply I tend to be positive about what Fab can offer, as a lot of people don't use it to its full potential I think. You have to build a skin here for sure, but there is no harm in informing someone of that. So I suppose, to answer your question from that angle, people do get advised to 'stick around' and give it more of a go!

pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

I’ve had someone beg me to go, is that the same?

I hope you went full petty and showed your face more often? "

I figured it was a veiled request for graphic cock pics from multiple angles so I obliged.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too

Here's the typical response that I've become accustomed to over thr many years that I've been on fab. I never said that you have responsibility for people's rejection issues or how they recieve that. My point still stands that empathy and thought for others goes along way..

We all gain validation from off fab. You show me someone who says they don't and I'll show you lier. When some one shows us that attention then that makes us feel good. So I.e validating someone's feelings. It's nice to be nice remember that

Is fake validation really nice though?

Problem is as humans we tend to fix an internal problem with external solutions. So any external validation is all ultimately fake. What it comes down to is the meaning that we attach to it.....anyway thats me now going into work mode...so fuck that and just fab my pics as I'm.needy as fuck "

Ooo I like that, great point!

P.s

You’re an awesome human and have my genuine validation

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too

Here's the typical response that I've become accustomed to over thr many years that I've been on fab. I never said that you have responsibility for people's rejection issues or how they recieve that. My point still stands that empathy and thought for others goes along way..

We all gain validation from off fab. You show me someone who says they don't and I'll show you lier. When some one shows us that attention then that makes us feel good. So I.e validating someone's feelings. It's nice to be nice remember that

Is fake validation really nice though?

Problem is as humans we tend to fix an internal problem with external solutions. So any external validation is all ultimately fake. What it comes down to is the meaning that we attach to it.....anyway thats me now going into work mode...so fuck that and just fab my pics as I'm.needy as fuck

Ooo I like that, great point!

P.s

You’re an awesome human and have my genuine validation "

Thats kind thank you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too

Just from the forum angle though, is a Lounge forum (or a Politics one for that matter) just about sex? I think people use this site for all kinds of reasons. I remember arguing this point on FG in the middle of the pandemic, with a guy who had completely forgotten the lockdown was on! I used to get asked for meets almost every day during the pandemic over there, a lot of young people esp were gagging for it. I wondered about the sense in keeping it open, but in general FG was a place people could go to I think. The forum there actually went from really small to huge during that time. People got really connected to it.

But if this is more about people saying "Is this site really worth it, I've had enough of x and am thinking no" if I reply I tend to be positive about what Fab can offer, as a lot of people don't use it to its full potential I think. You have to build a skin here for sure, but there is no harm in informing someone of that. So I suppose, to answer your question from that angle, people do get advised to 'stick around' and give it more of a go!

pt"

That’s very fair and a great point. Shall adjust my attitude a wee bit, thanks.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

I’ve had someone beg me to go, is that the same?

I hope you went full petty and showed your face more often?

I figured it was a veiled request for graphic cock pics from multiple angles so I obliged. "

I salute your petty!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've taken breaks but never announced it I just dissappear for awhile.

Last time I took a break it was for quite awhile. I didn't think I'd come back and if circumstances had been different I probably wouldn't have. But I never told anyone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

I’ve had someone beg me to go, is that the same?

I hope you went full petty and showed your face more often?

I figured it was a veiled request for graphic cock pics from multiple angles so I obliged. "

Felix... please go

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

To the people who left in the past but never told anyone, can I say that if anything distressing happens again (should anything distressing have happened of course) then try to open up at the time because fabbers will be here for you lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

A threat implies damage to someone, how would leaving the site ever cause that?

Suicide, I dunno"

Direct them to their GP, Community Mental health Team and Mental Health Crisis team.

That's crazy talk....I can say that because I'm crazy... Any suicidal thoughts, I call my local mental health crisis line to talk me off a ledge.

Doesn't happen too often these days because I've had intensive therapy.

I think people often interpret my statements as threats but it's actually me needing to disconnect from people for my own sanity.....what limited sanity that I actually have.

I know the average person views this as intentional attention seeking but it's actually a sign of a person not having a basic mental need met and not being able to communicate that need in an appropriate and coherent and effective way.

In a way, it is attention seeking but I encourage everyone to set boundaries and state clearly if you cannot meet that person's need for attention.

It's a fallacy that one person can meet all of our needs all of the time.

Some people have a built-in support network. Some people like me do not. I had to create my own support network and I use my disability money to pay £430 for support this month. ( nothing sexual/romantic)

Set your boundaries to protect yourself and direct the person making any threats to the appropriate professional support.

Cheers

MM

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too "

Let's just say the site is a hook-up site for you only in particular OP.

As I've stated before and will state again, Being neurodivergent, being a swinger is part of my recovery and relapse prevention plan, acknowledged, validated, sanctioned, and appraised by my mental health professionals and mental health peer support. I actually go to them if I need complex advice.

People do make friends/ make relationships and have a social connection in the swinging lifestyle out of Fab.

I love nothing more than sitting nude in the jacuzzi meditating alone in a club. Lol! No hook up necessary. if a hook-up occurs that's icing on the cake for me.

We all have boundaries but we don't need to drop those brick walls on people's heads in the first instance.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

[Removed by poster at 14/05/23 16:27:52]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

A threat implies damage to someone, how would leaving the site ever cause that?

Suicide, I dunno

Direct them to their GP, Community Mental health Team and Mental Health Crisis team.

That's crazy talk....I can say that because I'm crazy... Any suicidal thoughts, I call my local mental health crisis line to talk me off a ledge.

Doesn't happen too often these days because I've had intensive therapy.

I think people often interpret my statements as threats but it's actually me needing to disconnect from people for my own sanity.....what limited sanity that I actually have.

I know the average person views this as intentional attention seeking but it's actually a sign of a person not having a basic mental need met and not being able to communicate that need in an appropriate and coherent and effective way.

In a way, it is attention seeking but I encourage everyone to set boundaries and state clearly if you cannot meet that person's need for attention.

It's a fallacy that one person can meet all of our needs all of the time.

Some people have a built-in support network. Some people like me do not. I had to create my own support network and I use my disability money to pay £430 for support this month. ( nothing sexual/romantic)

Set your boundaries to protect yourself and direct the person making any threats to the appropriate professional support.

Cheers

MM

"

Fab could consider making a referral page for that kind of information perhaps. Something that's just one click away.

pt

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too "

Taking rejection is one thing but can't you see how constant rejection can wear away at a person's self confidence leaving them frustrated and needing to vent? Whenever something in your life doesn't go your way; job, money, family etc. do you not feel the need to vent? How would you feel if someone just told you to take it on the chin and move on?

Essentially... Stop telling people what they can and can't do on here.

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By *tsJustKateWoman
over a year ago

London

The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!"

And why does that affect your use of the site?

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

And why does that affect your use of the site?"

Second time I've asked this btw...

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

My personal moto is if you have nothing positive or supportive to say, best not say anything at all. But that's me and everyone is different

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!"

The levels of humanity on fab forums never fails to amaze me. So dismissive of others and what they may be struggling with.

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Just scream’s attention seeking to us."

Absolutely. Either go with dignity or stay and shut up.

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"Just scream’s attention seeking to us.

Absolutely. Either go with dignity or stay and shut up."

And why does that affect your use of the site?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

The hypocrisy on this thread is on another level.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first! "

I do a scratch and sniff test first

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine


"Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first! "

DO IT!

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first!

I do a scratch and sniff test first "

Legit used to do that in my army days!

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first! DO IT!"

Don’t encourage me ffs

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Just scream’s attention seeking to us.

Absolutely. Either go with dignity or stay and shut up.

And why does that affect your use of the site?"

Other than using it as another filter, you mean? I just eyeroll at those statuses and carry on, no time for or interest in drama llamas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People would cheer if I left

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Just scream’s attention seeking to us.

Absolutely. Either go with dignity or stay and shut up.

And why does that affect your use of the site?

Other than using it as another filter, you mean? I just eyeroll at those statuses and carry on, no time for or interest in drama llamas. "

That is so dramatic

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By *ash0000Man
over a year ago

Southwest


"Just scream’s attention seeking to us.

Absolutely. Either go with dignity or stay and shut up."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

This site is all about the dignity lol

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"This site is all about the dignity lol"

The joy of a humiliation kink.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"

Genuine question, who's ever made this threat and had someone beg them not to go?

A threat implies damage to someone, how would leaving the site ever cause that?

Suicide, I dunno

Direct them to their GP, Community Mental health Team and Mental Health Crisis team.

That's crazy talk....I can say that because I'm crazy... Any suicidal thoughts, I call my local mental health crisis line to talk me off a ledge.

Doesn't happen too often these days because I've had intensive therapy.

I think people often interpret my statements as threats but it's actually me needing to disconnect from people for my own sanity.....what limited sanity that I actually have.

I know the average person views this as intentional attention seeking but it's actually a sign of a person not having a basic mental need met and not being able to communicate that need in an appropriate and coherent and effective way.

In a way, it is attention seeking but I encourage everyone to set boundaries and state clearly if you cannot meet that person's need for attention.

It's a fallacy that one person can meet all of our needs all of the time.

Some people have a built-in support network. Some people like me do not. I had to create my own support network and I use my disability money to pay £430 for support this month. ( nothing sexual/romantic)

Set your boundaries to protect yourself and direct the person making any threats to the appropriate professional support.

Cheers

MM

Fab could consider making a referral page for that kind of information perhaps. Something that's just one click away.

pt"

We ( the Fab neurodivergent community) have tried to no avail. They do not want the liability.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Some empathy goes a long way, whether they do it out of self seeking behaviour looking for a bit of validation or reassurnace. Please bear in mind these are human beings not human doings, so people with feelings, and insecurities just like the rest of us. Some kindness and a bit of love goes along way with people...

If they're not getting the attention they're seeking then maybe they should reevaluate there choices to be on this site

Let's not forget what this site is for.... Sex, not politics, love or even friendship.

It's a hook up site pure and simple

You wouldn't buy an item from the shop if you didn't want it would you? Or test drive every car?

People need to take rejection or leave

We are not responsible for those we aren't attracted too

Taking rejection is one thing but can't you see how constant rejection can wear away at a person's self confidence leaving them frustrated and needing to vent? Whenever something in your life doesn't go your way; job, money, family etc. do you not feel the need to vent? How would you feel if someone just told you to take it on the chin and move on?

Essentially... Stop telling people what they can and can't do on here."

Uh oh... I take rejection pretty hard but....that's what my therapist and support groups are for to help me through it .....but I recognise not everyone has this....or family and friends who can help with this.

It's a tough life. Not telling anyone what to do per se....just a different perspective that they may or may not want to consider... according to their current capability and capacity.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

The levels of humanity on fab forums never fails to amaze me. So dismissive of others and what they may be struggling with."

That's you slipping back into work mode again...

I actually expect people to be horrible after what I've been through and what I've seen and heard other people go through so I'm learning and intend to keep learning to protect myself psychologically and physically.

It might be paranoia but it is definitely based on evidence I've been witness too. As my FWB says people suck.

They don't care about other people's struggles. They don't have the capacity to hear it. they are often too wrapped up in their own struggles and as my therapists used to say their mentalization capacity is reduced...they don't have space to think about what others are thinking and why.

When they put mentalization like that I realize people only have so many spoons as they say in the autistic community.

My Dad is 75 and he still lashes out when his capacity is reduced. You have to pick your moment and your words carefully with him.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first! "

Lol! I'm too bloody honest. Sorry all. Not seeking attention....right now...maybe later....My leg needs more attention than me...right pain in the...leg...

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first!

I do a scratch and sniff test first "

I might get triggered if I sniff. Perils of sensory sensitivity. there are a few customers at work that send me running for the loo due to their....odour..

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first! DO IT!"

The peer pressure.

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton


"Nope and if they did I’d open the door for them. "
and close it behind them

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Hmm do I, or don’t I engage in the debate…

Not often I pause before diving in head first! DO IT!

Don’t encourage me ffs "

Twiddles finger innocently and sips rum and cola.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Just scream’s attention seeking to us.

Absolutely. Either go with dignity or stay and shut up.

And why does that affect your use of the site?

Other than using it as another filter, you mean? I just eyeroll at those statuses and carry on, no time for or interest in drama llamas. "

Did someone say drama? Pops up my head.

Did someone say Llama? Pops down my head.

Everything about me is dramatic unfortunately....I'm not for the faint of heart.....or anyone without a psychology degree..probably..

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"People would cheer if I left "

We would not.....I mean where else would I get my light entertainment?

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"This site is all about the dignity lol"

I think I left my dignity back in 2013 when I had a mental breakdown, unaliving attempt and 6 police officers had to carry me out of my marital flat..I swear back then I only weighed like 150 lbs.

Dignity is not something this neurodivergent gets a lot of.

Rejection, invalidation, abuse, unfairness, judgment and unsupportive comments? Now that I'm an expert of being on the receiving end of.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"This site is all about the dignity lol

The joy of a humiliation kink. "

I haven't gotten far enough to trust someone enough to humiliate me.....um...on purpose.....without me retaliating....Lol!

Dangerous liaison....I am not the one for amateurs. plenty of amateurs on Fab.

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

A guy i had been talking to recently suddenly told me he thought he was going to leave. He got quite aggressive asking for my number to keep in touch. I found it quite amusing as he kept saying "quick, I'm deleting my profile now". He's obviously still on fab!

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"

This site is all about the dignity lol

The joy of a humiliation kink.

I haven't gotten far enough to trust someone enough to humiliate me.....um...on purpose.....without me retaliating....Lol!

Dangerous liaison....I am not the one for amateurs. plenty of amateurs on Fab.

"

A lot of trust and building slowly, or failing that let you retaliate and then punish you for it. Roxy x

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"A guy i had been talking to recently suddenly told me he thought he was going to leave. He got quite aggressive asking for my number to keep in touch. I found it quite amusing as he kept saying "quick, I'm deleting my profile now". He's obviously still on fab!

"

The art of dealing with desperate man I guess, good you found it amusing I think. pt

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I just say to people that no one is holding a gun to your head making you stay… and if this place isn’t making you happy or is affecting your mental health then why are you doing it is it’s self destructive…

You don’t have to go… you don’t have to announce it you are going… Just hide the profile and recharge the batteries!

If you want to come back when you are in a better place then cool… if not.. at least you can say you tried and it wasn’t for you

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"

Fab could consider making a referral page for that kind of information perhaps. Something that's just one click away.

pt

We ( the Fab neurodivergent community) have tried to no avail. They do not want the liability. :-

("

I can kind of see that sadly. They are as hands-off as they can be here really. pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"

This site is all about the dignity lol

The joy of a humiliation kink.

I haven't gotten far enough to trust someone enough to humiliate me.....um...on purpose.....without me retaliating....Lol!

"

You know that's a kink in itself? lol pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"I just say to people that no one is holding a gun to your head making you stay… and if this place isn’t making you happy or is affecting your mental health then why are you doing it is it’s self destructive…

You don’t have to go… you don’t have to announce it you are going… Just hide the profile and recharge the batteries!

If you want to come back when you are in a better place then cool… if not.. at least you can say you tried and it wasn’t for you "

When I go I'm going to announce it. Tell me why I shouldn't.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lue eyed boyMan
over a year ago

dudley

Why quit just up your game ??????

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tsJustKateWoman
over a year ago

London


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

And why does that affect your use of the site?"

And I said that when??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Nike said it best.....Just Do It

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By *tsJustKateWoman
over a year ago

London


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

The levels of humanity on fab forums never fails to amaze me. So dismissive of others and what they may be struggling with."

We all have personal struggles, I tend to keep mine to myself.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

The levels of humanity on fab forums never fails to amaze me. So dismissive of others and what they may be struggling with.

We all have personal struggles, I tend to keep mine to myself."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"My Dad is 75 and he still lashes out when his capacity is reduced. You have to pick your moment and your words carefully with him.

"

Sounds like dementia management. Well worth learning the skills. I knew a guy who just wouldn't go near his once-loved grandad because he got so angry with him just the once and he (the grandson) couldn't handle it. I heard the old fella died the other day, hope he managed to made the effort in the end. 1) never take it personally 2) be ready to change the subject 3) try and be prepared in advance what to say. pt

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

The levels of humanity on fab forums never fails to amaze me. So dismissive of others and what they may be struggling with.

We all have personal struggles, I tend to keep mine to myself.

"

Why should others do the same though?

All these kind of threads are easy to spot, just resist the schadenfreude (if you guys actually can ) and pass by!

pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

The levels of humanity on fab forums never fails to amaze me. So dismissive of others and what they may be struggling with."

Absolutely.

If ever we get caught up thinking we're a part of an open minded community, just pop into the forums to remind ourselves that we're just as closed minded as those that judge this lifestyle. *Shrugs*

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tsJustKateWoman
over a year ago

London


"The thing is, when people feel the need to announce their departure it smacks of attention seeking. If you're going to leave, then leave!!!

The levels of humanity on fab forums never fails to amaze me. So dismissive of others and what they may be struggling with.

We all have personal struggles, I tend to keep mine to myself.

Why should others do the same though?

All these kind of threads are easy to spot, just resist the schadenfreude (if you guys actually can ) and pass by!

pt "

I do not take pleasure in others peoples misfortune.

People have opinions and are entitled to air them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I wonder if they announce on any other social media platforms that they are "threatening to leave". I just feel the responses some might get from that kind of status is just sympathy replies and not genuine as they probably wouldn't give the person the time of day usually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ttfn

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

The Unofficial Unacceptable Thread Titles For Fabswingers List

Give ? a hickie,

Forum’s so cliquey

Ricky or Vicky

Taking a sickie

From Billericky

Rate my big pricky

Lickety-licky

Tom is a thicky

Taking the mickey

Navel’s are icky

Heart rate is dickie

Plumbing is tricky

Pass me a bickie

Up for a quicky

Don’t be so picky

I propose banning everything that covers this stuff. pt

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