FabSwingers.com forum: Reach out. Before it's too late.

By *illan-Killash OP Man
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

I've attended two funerals in the last two weeks, both friends I've not seen for ages, one of them for 15+ years.

Don't be a stranger to those you hold dear to you.

Make the effort to keep in touch. You’ll regret not doing it.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good call. My brother suddenly dropped dead with a massive heart attack. He seemed fit and well and only 62 years old. He died 5 weeks after my dad. He was 92 and had a good innings. Thankfully I had a good relationship with both. However still never expected either to die when they did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life really is too short

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By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place

I expect many of us are guilty of this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Having lost seven close family members including my mum in the last 18 months I agree with the sentiments in the op, with certain reservations. Assess your relationships honestly, if you feel you might regret lack of contact get in touch but don't waste time regretting a relationship that was never going to be good. Make peace with your actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree life is short, if I can be sorted, sort it

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

Oh I believe relationships and friendships have their time, and I don't regret when people leave my life. It happens!

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Just this: †

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Totally agree, we have lost too many this year already

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Oh I believe relationships and friendships have their time, and I don't regret when people leave my life. It happens! "

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I feel this..my uncle passed away on Thursday and I hadn't been able to see him since pre COVID - I had been hoping to visit family in the next month or so

Sending love and healing OP

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

Life just gets in the way & time flies past.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I cant i had to promised to keep out of the way only to be there if im needed and let them come to me so kind of powerless unless empowered if it never comes il see em in the next life and we will have many stories to share

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By *illan-Killash OP Man
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

At the wake we made that time honoured promise, we can't just catch up at funerals. We've said it so many times.

We've now got a WhatsApp group, so far plenty of old friends joining, laughing, joking, tales of the "old days".

Having a night out this weekend with a few of us.

It's never too late to re-connect.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

So sorry for your loss xx

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By *illan-Killash OP Man
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"So sorry for your loss xx"

Thank you Nanna.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this, but some of is don’t really have anyone to ‘reach out’ to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how you feel OP I was in a similar position with ex forces friends quite a few that’s taken their own lives.

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By *illan-Killash OP Man
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"Sorry to hear this, but some of is don’t really have anyone to ‘reach out’ to. "

My inbox is open if you ever need a natter. One thing I've noticed on Fab, it's a caring supportive community among the arguing and piss taking.

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By *illan-Killash OP Man
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"I know how you feel OP I was in a similar position with ex forces friends quite a few that’s taken their own lives. "

Salute.

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

I think it’s all too easy to forget to talk to our friends nowadays, we see “everything” on Facebook so think they are great and doing well etc often the truth is hugely different due to the social pressure! Nobody posts about the bad stuff and truth often! I’m a huge advocate of actually trying to reach out to friends and try to notice changes in behaviours. Not always easy to do with your own life and trails and tribulations to deal with sadly

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I'm saying goodbye to my aunt today.

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By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place

"I'm saying goodbye to my aunt today."

I hope it's a day full of

and happy memories.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm saying goodbye to my aunt today."

Sorry for your loss

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I've attended two funerals in the last two weeks, both friends I've not seen for ages, one of them for 15+ years.

Don't be a stranger to those you hold dear to you.

Make the effort to keep in touch. You’ll regret not doing it.

I'm someone who gets ill alot and because my "friends" and "family" do not support me to the level that I need, I have to spend the majority of my time doing it for myself.

I have zero regrets about not keeping in touch. I can't give to everyone else so I have nothing left over for me anymore.

I've been to a lot of funerals and death with a lot of death and near death. I'm not afraid of dying or afraid of other people dying.

I have an avoidant attachment style.

I spent too long in my life being in one-sided interpersonal interactions where I was the one putting in the majority of effort and doing all the considerations.

I can't afford to do that anymore. I don't have that capacity anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having lost seven close family members including my mum in the last 18 months I agree with the sentiments in the op, with certain reservations. Assess your relationships honestly, if you feel you might regret lack of contact get in touch but don't waste time regretting a relationship that was never going to be good. Make peace with your actions."

I’m a passenger on the same boat, and I’m thankful that I had a great relationship with those I’ve lost so recently.

I also echo your sentiments about assessing relationships as not all are good. Move on if they’re not good, but certainly don’t take the good ones for granted.

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