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"The last one." Relief was it? A bit painful? | |||
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"I was constipated for 5 days and it was like a concrete slab. I had to give birth to it but never again will I take for granted my daily poo. " Ooh I bet that felt amazing afterwards. Did you have to have a warm salt bath after? | |||
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"Take fybogel for about a week and your poo will slide out with ease. It binds with water so you have a happy time on the loo. " Or just eat properly. Anyhoo, do you have a memorable bowel evacuation? | |||
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"I had a huge one yesterday morning" Do you read the toilet paper wrapper in the loo? | |||
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"Do you recall it? Anything stuck in your mind? Any memorable evacuation that pops into your head every so often? " The first proper one after I'd been in hospital for three weeks after having a tube down my stomach, another up my dick and had just had a fair bit of guts unravelled and removed, so had been on a pretty liquid drip diet for a fortnight. Felt good to have something solid leaving my body the way nature intended. 
A | |||
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"Well this thread is a bit shit "Or going down the pan | |||
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"Do you recall it? Anything stuck in your mind? Any memorable evacuation that pops into your head every so often? The first proper one after I'd been in hospital for three weeks after having a tube down my stomach, another up my dick and had just had a fair bit of guts unravelled and removed, so had been on a pretty liquid drip diet for a fortnight. Felt good to have something solid leaving my body the way nature intended.
A"You cannot speak highly enough of a solid poo, to me  | |||
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"Had to have an enema the other year before they shoved a camera up my ass, wowzers that has to be by far the best shit I have ever had to this day" Did you feel lighter? I had to drink that Moviprep stuff that's ghastly  | |||
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"I think the worst time I had constipation I was in hospital and after about 20 minutes the nurse had to come in and help me" They're used to things like that. She probably felt your relief. | |||
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"I was constipated for 5 days and it was like a concrete slab. I had to give birth to it but never again will I take for granted my daily poo. " That's the worst but the relief is so good | |||
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"I feel left out... I don't really have a best one "Not even an after party poop springs to mind? | |||
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"I’m hoping I’ve not had it yet. All the past have been a load of shite " Eat loads of curry | |||
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"I think the worst time I had constipation I was in hospital and after about 20 minutes the nurse had to come in and help me They're used to things like that. She probably felt your relief. " It was the smell dow the ward that made her come and check on me lol | |||
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"The last one. Relief was it? A bit painful?" I just try and enjoy them all | |||
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"Had to have an enema the other year before they shoved a camera up my ass, wowzers that has to be by far the best shit I have ever had to this day Did you feel lighter? I had to drink that Moviprep stuff that's ghastly "Felt much lighter, I’d have it again but not the camera though however the camera person did comment on how clean my bowels were  | |||
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"I think the worst time I had constipation I was in hospital and after about 20 minutes the nurse had to come in and help me They're used to things like that. She probably felt your relief. It was the smell dow the ward that made her come and check on me lol" Lol feel sorry for the other patients. | |||
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"Had to have an enema the other year before they shoved a camera up my ass, wowzers that has to be by far the best shit I have ever had to this day Did you feel lighter? I had to drink that Moviprep stuff that's ghastly
Felt much lighter, I’d have it again but not the camera though however the camera person did comment on how clean my bowels were "Not surprised after an enema | |||
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"Pregnancy Piles poos were the best as they were a lottery as to how and when they would come out" I didn't suffer too bad with them, thankfully. | |||
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"NO, but I do recal the best pee I had. I was 19 yeas old, when I used to drink. I was with my then girlfriend and we were on the bus coming home. I knew I needed to pee way before I got on the bus, crossing my legs until the 20 minute ride was over. We walked past the loca Presto (yes, that long ago), I couldn't help it, I had to pee, for about 10 minutes non stop, the best and most satisfying pee I have ever had. "  I had a similarly sacred wee when I was in my twenties.
I was with mates and we’d been guzzling bottles of classy wine I.e Lambrini.
I remember we were walking past a field and all heard the call of nature.
I swear we seemed to be pissing for what seemed like forever but the sheer relief felt amazing | |||
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"Haha i pooed out what felt like a table leg at a holiday camp site once that needed manual dislodging lmfao " hahaha..class | |||
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"The first poop I had after having an operation, they wouldn't allow me to go home until I'd had a shit which is problematic as I can't normally poop anywhere but my own toilet...I told them this, but low and behold a few hours later my body responded in the positive and I managed an ablution...." Did they want proof? I lied after one of my babies were born because I wanted to go home. | |||
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"Every Evacuation at my age is heaven Tend to lose a stone every time "It's all that Clacton air | |||
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"NO, but I do recal the best pee I had. I was 19 yeas old, when I used to drink. I was with my then girlfriend and we were on the bus coming home. I knew I needed to pee way before I got on the bus, crossing my legs until the 20 minute ride was over. We walked past the loca Presto (yes, that long ago), I couldn't help it, I had to pee, for about 10 minutes non stop, the best and most satisfying pee I have ever had. I had a similarly sacred wee when I was in my twenties.
I was with mates and we’d been guzzling bottles of classy wine I.e Lambrini.
I remember we were walking past a field and all heard the call of nature.
I swear we seemed to be pissing for what seemed like forever but the sheer relief felt amazing "People with penises are lucky. They can pee anywhere without it dribbling down their legs. | |||
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"The first poop I had after having an operation, they wouldn't allow me to go home until I'd had a shit which is problematic as I can't normally poop anywhere but my own toilet...I told them this, but low and behold a few hours later my body responded in the positive and I managed an ablution.... Did they want proof? I lied after one of my babies were born because I wanted to go home. " No, but they did show me different types of poop on a screen and asked me which one it resembled 
Oooh you rebel! | |||
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"Best poo I had was in a horrible woman's shoes while she slept. " Hope it wasn't your nan's shoes. | |||
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"The first poop I had after having an operation, they wouldn't allow me to go home until I'd had a shit which is problematic as I can't normally poop anywhere but my own toilet...I told them this, but low and behold a few hours later my body responded in the positive and I managed an ablution.... Did they want proof? I lied after one of my babies were born because I wanted to go home. No, but they did show me different types of poop on a screen and asked me which one it resembled
Oooh you rebel! "Ah, the Bristol Stool Chart | |||
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"Best poo I had was in a horrible woman's shoes while she slept. " Do you know if she put her shoes in without checking..?! | |||
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"NO, but I do recal the best pee I had. I was 19 yeas old, when I used to drink. I was with my then girlfriend and we were on the bus coming home. I knew I needed to pee way before I got on the bus, crossing my legs until the 20 minute ride was over. We walked past the loca Presto (yes, that long ago), I couldn't help it, I had to pee, for about 10 minutes non stop, the best and most satisfying pee I have ever had. I had a similarly sacred wee when I was in my twenties.
I was with mates and we’d been guzzling bottles of classy wine I.e Lambrini.
I remember we were walking past a field and all heard the call of nature.
I swear we seemed to be pissing for what seemed like forever but the sheer relief felt amazing
People with penises are lucky.
They can pee anywhere without it dribbling down their legs."We can suffer Mickey Drips though….  | |||
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"I try to stick to a high fibre diet, glass of cold prune juice every morning too..my toilet duties are bliss every time "I can't eat fruit with stones in now. I used to love prunes and custard. | |||
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"NO, but I do recal the best pee I had. I was 19 yeas old, when I used to drink. I was with my then girlfriend and we were on the bus coming home. I knew I needed to pee way before I got on the bus, crossing my legs until the 20 minute ride was over. We walked past the loca Presto (yes, that long ago), I couldn't help it, I had to pee, for about 10 minutes non stop, the best and most satisfying pee I have ever had. I had a similarly sacred wee when I was in my twenties.
I was with mates and we’d been guzzling bottles of classy wine I.e Lambrini.
I remember we were walking past a field and all heard the call of nature.
I swear we seemed to be pissing for what seemed like forever but the sheer relief felt amazing
People with penises are lucky.
They can pee anywhere without it dribbling down their legs.
We can suffer Mickey Drips though…. "Never heard of them. Which Mickey are they named after? | |||
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"Best poo I had was in a horrible woman's shoes while she slept. Do you know if she put her shoes in without checking..?!" No but next social everyone was asking her where her shoes were. She always wore the same pair but was a nasty bitch. Bet a mate I'd pull her,did and she fell asleep d*unk so I laid a right steamer inside them and pushed it up to the toes. Victory for men the world over! | |||
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"NO, but I do recal the best pee I had. I was 19 yeas old, when I used to drink. I was with my then girlfriend and we were on the bus coming home. I knew I needed to pee way before I got on the bus, crossing my legs until the 20 minute ride was over. We walked past the loca Presto (yes, that long ago), I couldn't help it, I had to pee, for about 10 minutes non stop, the best and most satisfying pee I have ever had. I had a similarly sacred wee when I was in my twenties.
I was with mates and we’d been guzzling bottles of classy wine I.e Lambrini.
I remember we were walking past a field and all heard the call of nature.
I swear we seemed to be pissing for what seemed like forever but the sheer relief felt amazing
People with penises are lucky.
They can pee anywhere without it dribbling down their legs.
We can suffer Mickey Drips though….
Never heard of them.
Which Mickey are they named after?"I’m not sure to be honest (and I’ve heard other euphemisms to describe the highly unwelcome phenomenon) but it basically describes the resulting stain when a man has finished peeing and put the old boy back in his pants only for the damned thing to give off a final impromptu squirt….  | |||
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"Best poo I had was in a horrible woman's shoes while she slept. Do you know if she put her shoes in without checking..?! No but next social everyone was asking her where her shoes were. She always wore the same pair but was a nasty bitch. Bet a mate I'd pull her,did and she fell asleep d*unk so I laid a right steamer inside them and pushed it up to the toes. Victory for men the world over!" A Fab social? | |||
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"NO, but I do recal the best pee I had. I was 19 yeas old, when I used to drink. I was with my then girlfriend and we were on the bus coming home. I knew I needed to pee way before I got on the bus, crossing my legs until the 20 minute ride was over. We walked past the loca Presto (yes, that long ago), I couldn't help it, I had to pee, for about 10 minutes non stop, the best and most satisfying pee I have ever had. I had a similarly sacred wee when I was in my twenties.
I was with mates and we’d been guzzling bottles of classy wine I.e Lambrini.
I remember we were walking past a field and all heard the call of nature.
I swear we seemed to be pissing for what seemed like forever but the sheer relief felt amazing
People with penises are lucky.
They can pee anywhere without it dribbling down their legs.
We can suffer Mickey Drips though….
Never heard of them.
Which Mickey are they named after?
I’m not sure to be honest (and I’ve heard other euphemisms to describe the highly unwelcome phenomenon) but it basically describes the resulting stain when a man has finished peeing and put the old boy back in his pants only for the damned thing to give off a final impromptu squirt…. "So shaking it doesn't empty it totally. They should make pants with a little inside pocket with a pee pad in. | |||
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"Best poo I had was in a horrible woman's shoes while she slept. Do you know if she put her shoes in without checking..?! No but next social everyone was asking her where her shoes were. She always wore the same pair but was a nasty bitch. Bet a mate I'd pull her,did and she fell asleep d*unk so I laid a right steamer inside them and pushed it up to the toes. Victory for men the world over! A Fab social?" No was another site. So ladies when I say 'nice shoes' fear me lol | |||
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"NO, but I do recal the best pee I had. I was 19 yeas old, when I used to drink. I was with my then girlfriend and we were on the bus coming home. I knew I needed to pee way before I got on the bus, crossing my legs until the 20 minute ride was over. We walked past the loca Presto (yes, that long ago), I couldn't help it, I had to pee, for about 10 minutes non stop, the best and most satisfying pee I have ever had. I had a similarly sacred wee when I was in my twenties.
I was with mates and we’d been guzzling bottles of classy wine I.e Lambrini.
I remember we were walking past a field and all heard the call of nature.
I swear we seemed to be pissing for what seemed like forever but the sheer relief felt amazing
People with penises are lucky.
They can pee anywhere without it dribbling down their legs.
We can suffer Mickey Drips though….
Never heard of them.
Which Mickey are they named after?
I’m not sure to be honest (and I’ve heard other euphemisms to describe the highly unwelcome phenomenon) but it basically describes the resulting stain when a man has finished peeing and put the old boy back in his pants only for the damned thing to give off a final impromptu squirt….
So shaking it doesn't empty it totally.
They should make pants with a little inside pocket with a pee pad in."Not always sadly; it’s usually the result of rushing (typically at urinals as one wants to leave as quickly as possible) and not shaking the snake with sufficient vigour. Mind you, too many shakes and ones neighbouring urinators might assume that one is ‘enjoying’ oneself…. Man’s problems - they’re real | |||
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"I do. I was 25, I was driving, my stomach started to proper grumble and I knew if I don't get to my nans soon I'm gonna shit myself in my car. I was driving uncomfortable for what felt like forever. I got to my nans 20 odd min later and phoned her whilst trying to get out the car and keep my legs and arse chheks together and screamed get the door open. I had 2 flights of stairs to get up When I got to her door I just ran past, I already had my jeans undone and hands in knickers ready to get them down and as I fell onto the seat, it was a head rush euphoric moment and a watered down version of a chicken tikka masala" I had a similar experience last year. Had gone out to eat and was on the bus back for 5 minutes when the pains started. Within 2 minutes I was sweating and thinking of jumping off the bus to go in bushes. Managed to hold it for another 7 or 8 minutes until we reached town and the big Asda. Was going up the escalator when I realised I hadn't seen a toilet in there and started panicking. Panic over when I got to the top and spotted the sign for the toilet next to the kiosk. Wasn't so much the poo that felt good, but the not shitting myself on a bus. | |||
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"NO, but I do recal the best pee I had. I was 19 yeas old, when I used to drink. I was with my then girlfriend and we were on the bus coming home. I knew I needed to pee way before I got on the bus, crossing my legs until the 20 minute ride was over. We walked past the loca Presto (yes, that long ago), I couldn't help it, I had to pee, for about 10 minutes non stop, the best and most satisfying pee I have ever had. I had a similarly sacred wee when I was in my twenties.
I was with mates and we’d been guzzling bottles of classy wine I.e Lambrini.
I remember we were walking past a field and all heard the call of nature.
I swear we seemed to be pissing for what seemed like forever but the sheer relief felt amazing
People with penises are lucky.
They can pee anywhere without it dribbling down their legs.
We can suffer Mickey Drips though….
Never heard of them.
Which Mickey are they named after?
I’m not sure to be honest (and I’ve heard other euphemisms to describe the highly unwelcome phenomenon) but it basically describes the resulting stain when a man has finished peeing and put the old boy back in his pants only for the damned thing to give off a final impromptu squirt….
So shaking it doesn't empty it totally.
They should make pants with a little inside pocket with a pee pad in.
Not always sadly; it’s usually the result of rushing (typically at urinals as one wants to leave as quickly as possible) and not shaking the snake with sufficient vigour.
Mind you, too many shakes and ones neighbouring urinators might assume that one is ‘enjoying’ oneself….
Man’s problems - they’re real "A slap on the side of the urinal may help | |||
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"Just had one, it was ok. Might be back on the anusol again soon though, they are starting to tug on my tight little ass again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiCcp4Jk-34" Doesn't Anusol tighten it up? Wouldn't lube be better? | |||
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"Years ago working on a building site, there was a public toilet just down the road. I had been on the local rough cider the day before. As I hurried to the toilet 2 fellas went in before me, 1 used the urinal the other was having a sit down. I dived into the other cubicle just in time, the stink made my eyes water. The 2 fellas both had to abandon and escape. As I left they were on the opposite side of the road, one holding his trousers up, the other with a damp patch with a look of horror on their faces, trying to explain to their wives. " Apples can have that effect on you | |||
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"I feel left out... I don't really have a best one
Not even an after party poop springs to mind?
"I don’t remember any stand out ones  | |||
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" I had to drink that Moviprep stuff that's ghastly "I was booked into the hospital to have a camera up the jacksie. The did the pre-procedure interview on the phone, then sent an appointment date and Moviprep. Drank the stuff, it did the trick, got to the hospital to find they'd cocked the appointment and had sent me for the post-procedure chat with the consultant before I'd even had the procedure. They had to rearrange the appointment and I had to suffer the Moviprep again | |||
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"I feel left out... I don't really have a best one
Not even an after party poop springs to mind?
I don’t remember any stand out ones "As the late, great Amy Winehouse almost sang "Your Day Will Come". | |||
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" I had to drink that Moviprep stuff that's ghastly
I was booked into the hospital to have a camera up the jacksie. The did the pre-procedure interview on the phone, then sent an appointment date and Moviprep. Drank the stuff, it did the trick, got to the hospital to find they'd cocked the appointment and had sent me for the post-procedure chat with the consultant before I'd even had the procedure. They had to rearrange the appointment and I had to suffer the Moviprep again "That must be the most awful thing to drink. Not just the taste and bowel movements, but trying to down 2 litres in a day. I had to leave the last 100 mls. | |||
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"The last one. Relief was it? A bit painful?" I just try and enjoy them all | |||
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"Just had one, it was ok. Might be back on the anusol again soon though, they are starting to tug on my tight little ass again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiCcp4Jk-34 Doesn't Anusol tighten it up? Wouldn't lube be better?" -If it does I'll use it more! Enough lube goes up there already. It's anal fissures you have to watch for, especially skinning a clumpy sausage. Out over in is an entirely different business. pt | |||
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" I had to drink that Moviprep stuff that's ghastly
I was booked into the hospital to have a camera up the jacksie. The did the pre-procedure interview on the phone, then sent an appointment date and Moviprep. Drank the stuff, it did the trick, got to the hospital to find they'd cocked the appointment and had sent me for the post-procedure chat with the consultant before I'd even had the procedure. They had to rearrange the appointment and I had to suffer the Moviprep again
That must be the most awful thing to drink.
Not just the taste and bowel movements, but trying to down 2 litres in a day. I had to leave the last 100 mls."Because of the times of my appointments, I had to have 1 litre on an evening, and the 2nd litre in the morning, making sleeping rather risky, as well as the 30 mile drive to the hospital | |||
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"I’ve had some cracking poos! Love a good clear out of the back bedroom. Two particularly precious plops pop to prominence. I once did one that was so long and perfect, it was sitting simultaneously round the u-bend and winking at me out of the water! Made me smile. I also did a very weird one. It was distinctly two tone. But not width ways, length ways! How does that happen?!! Thanks for the opportunity to share. I feel emptier." I daren't ask what you eat | |||
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"Suffered from typhoid for a couple of weeks when it all went out non-stop. The first time after that when it was all normal and smooth was a spiritual experience." The relief of a normal poo is indescribable. | |||
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"After travelling for 17 days. Actually I didn't feel bad for it. However I was doing my first ever sky dive. That made me nervous given my body malfunction. Thank goodness for evacuation just beforehand. That could have been quite embarrassing!" If it was a tandem dive it could have been awful for the poor person behind you. | |||
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"Can't beat a stealth poo lol " One you blame on someone else? I fessed up to a particular bad one in a Sainsbury's toilet once. I'm not too ashamed to admit I sometimes don't shit roses | |||
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"After travelling for 17 days. Actually I didn't feel bad for it. However I was doing my first ever sky dive. That made me nervous given my body malfunction. Thank goodness for evacuation just beforehand. That could have been quite embarrassing! If it was a tandem dive it could have been awful for the poor person behind you. " Quite, hence my relief. Literally and figuratively! Actually it turned out the guy i was strapped to was very "handsy"... so he might have deserved it had it all gone wrong! | |||
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"After travelling for 17 days. Actually I didn't feel bad for it. However I was doing my first ever sky dive. That made me nervous given my body malfunction. Thank goodness for evacuation just beforehand. That could have been quite embarrassing! If it was a tandem dive it could have been awful for the poor person behind you. Quite, hence my relief. Literally and figuratively! Actually it turned out the guy i was strapped to was very "handsy"... so he might have deserved it had it all gone wrong! "If you'd known you could have saved at least a few farts for him. | |||
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"Wtf " That bad was it? | |||
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"I have in the past on many occasions had a poo as wide as a beer can and so long that they have got stuck in the bend on the toilet and been sticking out of the water a good 5" " Blimey, what did you eat to birth that baby?? | |||
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"Yesterday was a nice one. Large and firm so I certainly felt it without it hurting or feeling spiky. Moist enough to require no forcing. Floated to allow me to admire my work, and very little paperwork required at the end. " Your bowels will thank you for your good eating decisions | |||
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"Best poo of my life would have to have been sat on a plank over a latrine, on an island in the middle of Prince William Sound Alaska, while humming birds buzzed around the bushes and a mother otter and her babies played in the water nearby. I didn't want it to end - and not just because I'd realised I'd left the toilet paper in my tent "What a lovely place to have a dunk  | |||
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" I often think of one I had on getting back from a bus trip to London in July 1988. It was a thing of wonder ."Did you hold it in all the way home? | |||
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" I often think of one I had on getting back from a bus trip to London in July 1988. It was a thing of wonder .
Did you hold it in all the way home?"No, Nanna. I don’t recall thinking there was a problem, or something rather special was about to unfurl. It kinda took me by surprise on getting home . | |||
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" I often think of one I had on getting back from a bus trip to London in July 1988. It was a thing of wonder .
Did you hold it in all the way home?
No, Nanna. I don’t recall thinking there was a problem, or something rather special was about to unfurl. It kinda took me by surprise on getting home ."The relief of being home relaxed your sphincter | |||
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"I suspect it was probably after I returned from a music festival. They tend to be epic. Directed by James Cameron" You don't poop in the tardis toilets? | |||
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" I often think of one I had on getting back from a bus trip to London in July 1988. It was a thing of wonder .
Did you hold it in all the way home?
No, Nanna. I don’t recall thinking there was a problem, or something rather special was about to unfurl. It kinda took me by surprise on getting home .
The relief of being home relaxed your sphincter "That’ll be it . | |||
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