FabSwingers.com forum: Thoughts..

By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

[Removed by poster at 08/05/23 08:01:23]

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Copied from an article. we have our own opinions but are not going to voice atm as we are genuinely interested in how others feel..

"While the sex-positivity movement has done wonders for normalizing female pleasure, in many respects men are still left out in the cold and subject to ridicule in mainstream media."

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"[Thoughts removed by poster at 08/05/23 08:01:23]"

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By *onguesandpunsMan
over a year ago

East Midlands

"[Removed by poster at 08/05/23 08:01:23]"

Did your mind go blank?

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I think I'd need to read the whole article to really give an opinion to be honest

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Just noticed some bad grammar, which I detest.. Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where’s the ridicule??

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By *onguesandpunsMan
over a year ago

East Midlands

"Copied from an article. we have our own opinions but are not going to voice atm as we are genuinely interested in how others feel..

"While the sex-positivity movement has done wonders for normalizing female pleasure, in many respects men are still left out in the cold and subject to ridicule in mainstream media.""

I'm not sure the mainstream media cover the sex positivity movement for anyone, male or not? Although happy to stand corrected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve not read the article but given sexual pleasure has long been geared towards men I can’t see how they’re left in the cold

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"I think I'd need to read the whole article to really give an opinion to be honest

Fair.. Unsure Fab likes links, but Google "Ask Men, Busting Myths About the Risks of “Chronic” Masturbation and More"

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By *onguesandpunsMan
over a year ago

East Midlands

"I’ve not read the article but given sexual pleasure has long been geared towards men I can’t see how they’re left in the cold

^This^

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"I’ve not read the article but given sexual pleasure has long been geared towards men I can’t see how they’re left in the cold

Had that opinion expressed previously and also that it's a 'pendulum' that it has been prominently that way historically and the pendulum must swing in the opposite way before eventually coming to rest in the centre (ie true equality)

We feel that many men here do not hold the misogynistic attitudes of old though but potentially are paying for them..

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

I'm not sure the mainstream media cover the sex positivity movement for anyone, male or not? Although happy to stand corrected. "

Sex in the city, Sexlife, 50 shades of 'crap'

etc, etc. Are they not female centred? Can't think of any vice versa..

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Copied from an article. we have our own opinions but are not going to voice atm as we are genuinely interested in how others feel..

"While the sex-positivity movement has done wonders for normalizing female pleasure, in many respects men are still left out in the cold and subject to ridicule in mainstream media.""

I'd need to read the article I'm afraid before adding much of value.

But my first thought would be this. If that statement was true then why for decades were porn movies aimed almost entirely at men, likewise magazines, advertising and sexualised mainstream media?

As for ridicule? I suspect that comes (as it generally always has) from other men rather than women.

Any chance of sharing a link?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think sadly the mass media find it hard to be positive about one gender without being negative towards another.

Ultimately "normal" is nothing more than a setting on the washing machine.

Everyone is unique and everyone has different habits.

I think it's a shame that men are sometimes mocked about self pleasure while women are sometimes celebrated.

People seem to forget how important it is to know your body and what feels right/good even healthy for you, so you can pick up when things aren't. For anyone regardless of gender.

Fantasy and self pleasure for example, are a safe way to 'try out' things without risking hurt feelings.

I think there is still shame being carried around by all genders and there are a lot of worrying trends and practices that seem to be perpetuating that shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is the article https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual_health/health-risks-of-chronic-masturbation.html

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Just read the article quickly.

Given the source it comes across as one of those reads that whilst quoting a lot of 'science' is aimed at the same kind of market as much of Tates BS.

When I went to the 'AskMen' home page the first article I saw was titled this.

"Women Tend to Have Higher Standards in Dating — Here’s Why (Plus, How to Deal With It)".

That tells me everything I need to know about the media company involved.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Just noticed some bad grammar, which I detest.. Mrs

now theirs a fought rite innits self

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve not read the article but given sexual pleasure has long been geared towards men I can’t see how they’re left in the cold

We feel that many men here do not hold the misogynistic attitudes of old though but potentially are paying for them..

There must be all sorts of things that affect this, culture, time etc. the so called sexual liberation of the swinging sixties did a lot to help both genders but there is still a stigma today surrounding women’s sexual pleasure depending on who you ask.

I’ve not encountered misogyny on here regarding women’s sexual pleasure however I have encountered a lot of more generalised misogyny!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’ve not read the article but given sexual pleasure has long been geared towards men I can’t see how they’re left in the cold

Fluffy you can pleasure me in the cold anytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything with Tate has to be largely ignored as even historically he is incorrect, yes the patriarchy has always been largely prevalent but that’s how we survived as a species, the man went out to hunt, what Tate has done is take that mantra and applied it to modern society which just will not stick, he’s a foul individual and anyone that thinks that men are sexually ridiculed more than women needs to look at the overwhelming historic and current evidence to the contrary

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Hey Obi, shared site and article title above, unsure on Fabs position on links.

Fully acknowledge the historical focus of porn etc. However my university dissertation was titled "Female pleasure - The Taboo attitude of society" and that was 20 years ago.

I met Mr 4 years ago, previously I had never a man so sexually open and generous and on looking for things to please him I have found it seems an even more of a taboo topic with the only sources being in the homosexual community..

It seems the question is irksome to many, male pleasure also seems a dirty subject due maybe to the historical imbalance against women. Which is understandable, but right?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Hey Obi, shared site and article title above, unsure on Fabs position on links.

Fully acknowledge the historical focus of porn etc. However my university dissertation was titled "Female pleasure - The Taboo attitude of society" and that was 20 years ago.

It seems the question is irksome to many, male pleasure also seems a dirty subject due maybe to the historical imbalance against women. Which is understandable, but right?"

I don't think there's been much of a taboo about male pleasure in my lifetime.

Aside from what I mentioned previously there's also a long tradition of it being more acceptable for men to visit strip clubs over women. In terms of sex work it's always been the case that it's a job for women with men being the paying customers.

The only aspect of sexual pleasure I can see where it could be argued that women were always ahead would be in sex toys, but with the abundance of male orientated toys now on the market (huge - as a tester for LH I can guarantee that) that gap is closing.

I'm really struggling to agree with anything in the article that supports any notion that men are or have been hard done by.

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"I think sadly the mass media find it hard to be positive about one gender without being negative towards another.

Ultimately "normal" is nothing more than a setting on the washing machine.

Everyone is unique and everyone has different habits.

I think it's a shame that men are sometimes mocked about self pleasure while women are sometimes celebrated.

People seem to forget how important it is to know your body and what feels right/good even healthy for you, so you can pick up when things aren't. For anyone regardless of gender.

Fantasy and self pleasure for example, are a safe way to 'try out' things without risking hurt feelings.

I think there is still shame being carried around by all genders and there are a lot of worrying trends and practices that seem to be perpetuating that shame.

MsWyld, thank you lovely, and hope you're well!? A response which shows an understanding of the question.

It seems most have assumed that it's a male vs female post.

Which it's not, I'm bloody female!

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"Copied from an article. we have our own opinions but are not going to voice atm as we are genuinely interested in how others feel..

"While the sex-positivity movement has done wonders for normalizing female pleasure, in many respects men are still left out in the cold and subject to ridicule in mainstream media.""

Sadly this is a something that is very widespread these days. Men shaming calling make trauts toxic masculinity and the list goes on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think sadly the mass media find it hard to be positive about one gender without being negative towards another.

Ultimately "normal" is nothing more than a setting on the washing machine.

Everyone is unique and everyone has different habits.

I think it's a shame that men are sometimes mocked about self pleasure while women are sometimes celebrated.

People seem to forget how important it is to know your body and what feels right/good even healthy for you, so you can pick up when things aren't. For anyone regardless of gender.

Fantasy and self pleasure for example, are a safe way to 'try out' things without risking hurt feelings.

I think there is still shame being carried around by all genders and there are a lot of worrying trends and practices that seem to be perpetuating that shame.

MsWyld, thank you lovely, and hope you're well!? A response which shows an understanding of the question.

It seems most have assumed that it's a male vs female post.

Which it's not, I'm bloody female!

I’ve not assumed it’s a male vs female post, I just disagree with the statement the article makes lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women who masturbate and use sex toys are hot and empowered.

Men who masturbate and use sex toys are creepy weirdos.

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Misogynistic attitudes are wrong! We have experienced them together and individually..

We DO NOT approve of anything or anyone who support it, including the vile Mr Tate.

Our position is one of equal pleasure and that's where the question is from.

Sorry if this upsets some and as initially stated we asked a question without opinion..

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"Women who masturbate and use sex toys are hot and empowered.

Men who masturbate and use sex toys are creepy weirdos."

That!! I fucking love the naughty clips and pics Mr sends me and he said I'm the only one he's ever sent them to..

Doesn't get the send Dick pic attitude of many men!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I think sadly the mass media find it hard to be positive about one gender without being negative towards another.

Ultimately "normal" is nothing more than a setting on the washing machine.

Everyone is unique and everyone has different habits.

I think it's a shame that men are sometimes mocked about self pleasure while women are sometimes celebrated.

People seem to forget how important it is to know your body and what feels right/good even healthy for you, so you can pick up when things aren't. For anyone regardless of gender.

Fantasy and self pleasure for example, are a safe way to 'try out' things without risking hurt feelings.

I think there is still shame being carried around by all genders and there are a lot of worrying trends and practices that seem to be perpetuating that shame.

MsWyld, thank you lovely, and hope you're well!? A response which shows an understanding of the question.

It seems most have assumed that it's a male vs female post.

Which it's not, I'm bloody female!

I’ve not assumed it’s a male vs female post, I just disagree with the statement the article makes lol "

Ditto.

This I'd agree with entirely.

"However my university dissertation was titled "Female pleasure - The Taboo attitude of society" and that was 20 years ago."

It's taken year's for it to be socially acceptable for women to be sexually open with any slut shaming or negative perceptions.

Men have never had that issue.

And I still don't believe they do now, nor do I feel its a battle of the genders and a 'men vs women' issue.

I do feel that it's just an article designed to advertise certain services (it's littered with links to dating sites and apparently aimed at the male market) and that it's nothing more than an 'advertorial' piece rather than serious scientific journalism. Look at many of the other articles on the same website and you'll see the exact same thing.

The site is awash with crap such as this.

"The Dos and Don'ts of Sober Hookups"

"Understanding Hookup Culture

What You Can Learn From People Who Hook Up A LOT"

"How to Land a One-Night Stand

Struggling to Get Lucky? Here's What You Need to Know"

"10 Ways to Approach a Beautiful Woman"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women who masturbate and use sex toys are hot and empowered.

Men who masturbate and use sex toys are creepy weirdos.

That!! I fucking love the naughty clips and pics Mr sends me and he said I'm the only one he's ever sent them to..

Doesn't get the send Dick pic attitude of many men!"

Some people don't understand about consent..

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By *onguesandpunsMan
over a year ago

East Midlands

It seems most have assumed that it's a male vs female post.

Which it's not, I'm bloody female!

With respect it wasn't that clear to me from the original post what the discussion was about, but I agree with everything you responded to with regards to men not feeling comfortable talking about their sexual desires and preferences in an open and respectful way.

I'm a straight, cis guy, blessed to have quite a few close friends who I can have frank conversations with, but it'd generally be my close female friends who I'd feel most comfortable talking openly about sex with.

Without wanting to stray off topic, I think men not feeling comfortable talking about their sexual needs reflects the wider societal challenge of a majority of men still not feeling comfortable to talk openly about their feelings.

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Obi_Fox, hey! not promoting Ask Men but even a broken clock is right twice a day? How are those articles any different from some of the female focused site's/publications?

But that again is my point societally it's seems women empowered when discussing, men creepy/dirty..

Outsider, exactly!

GentlemanDJ, Cheers and agree D has very few he could share those topics with, compared to I..

Women have historically shared dating, sex and personal subjects without judgement.

Guy's get the get the objectification, piece of meat bravado which D doesn't like.

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By *onguesandpunsMan
over a year ago

East Midlands

GentlemanDJ, Cheers and agree D has very few he could share those topics with, compared to I..

Women have historically shared dating, sex and personal subjects without judgement.

Guy's get the get the objectification, piece of meat bravado which D doesn't like."

Yes I totally agree with your partner D. I absolutely loathe all that 'phwoar' misogynistic crap. If I ever hear that I make it clear that I'm not interested in continuing the conversation.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

OP what fantasies do you imagine guys masturbate to

.... thats probably where most of the guilt stems from

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

GentlemanDJ, Cheers and agree D has very few he could share those topics with, compared to I..

Women have historically shared dating, sex and personal subjects without judgement.

Guy's get the get the objectification, piece of meat bravado which D doesn't like.

Yes I totally agree with your partner D. I absolutely loathe all that 'phwoar' misogynistic crap. If I ever hear that I make it clear that I'm not interested in continuing the conversation. "

Yes, he says "those kind of comments are usually from those not getting any.."

He actually has a friend (who is a great guy otherwise) who posts a lot of content of that ilk, but knows he and his wife have separate bedrooms..

It's almost expected

Many would love to hear about the filthy things he does to me, definitely not what I do to him though

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"OP what fantasies do you imagine guys masturbate to

.... thats probably where most of the guilt stems from "

Oh I know.. He tells me

Many we've acted in..

But, the point is why are guy's disparaged and women celebrated now? Historical preconceptions?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"OP what fantasies do you imagine guys masturbate to

.... thats probably where most of the guilt stems from

Oh I know.. He tells me

Many we've acted in..

But, the point is why are guy's disparaged and women celebrated now? Historical preconceptions?"

Punishment. Sins of the father. For some reason some people think people are responsible today for our history.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven’t read that article but from your post only I’d say that :

The sex-positivity movement hasn’t really done wonders for normalising female pleasure but more sexualised woman’s body. Nowadays, it looks a woman is only free if she is sexualised one way or another. It has helped the man to regard us even more as sexualised entity.

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By *onguesandpunsMan
over a year ago

East Midlands

Yes, he says "those kind of comments are usually from those not getting any.."

He actually has a friend (who is a great guy otherwise) who posts a lot of content of that ilk, but knows he and his wife have separate bedrooms..

It's almost expected

Many would love to hear about the filthy things he does to me, definitely not what I do to him though

Yes I couldn't agree more, hearing what you did for your partner could be a gold mine of pleasure tips! Makes perfect sense to me!

I'd be wary of a person if they were posting a load of misogynistic stuff, might be that it's leaking into his marriage if him and his wife have separate rooms?

On a positive note, Ted Lasso just did an episode where the 'locker room talk' was about not sharing or showing friends intimate pictures of partners. We need much more of that type of conversation amongst men too!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I haven’t read that article but from your post only I’d say that :

Very true. Who has sexualised it ever more though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven’t read that article but from your post only I’d say that :

Very true. Who has sexualised it ever more though? "

The ones who hold the power in society I’d say

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Obi_Fox, hey! not promoting Ask Men but even a broken clock is right twice a day? How are those articles any different from some of the female focused site's/publications?

We'll have to agree to disagree. There's a massive market now for male 'self help' media where 'experts' give pseudo scientific info about how men are demonised by women, are being oppressed purely because women are more empowered and the internet is full of reactionary blogs and articles claiming men are being denied their 'natural order' and genetically pre-engineered status in society at the benefit of womankind.

It's like teenagers screaming 'it's not fair because society's progressed and some aspects of life are now more equal. It drives me nuts as a guy when I see men claim they're being persecuted for having a dick just because women no longer have to act or behave in a certain way because that's how society and traditionally men thought they should.

At the extreme end there's Tate. But there are many, many others sharing and promoting similar views.

In order for women to have equality men don't have to be persecuted and downtrodden. In order for behavioural standards and expectancies to equalise and normalise it doesn't mean women are being given an unfair advantage.

Some men seem to seriously struggle with the notion that historical gender based roles and lifestyles have gone.

And the media lap it up and feed the machine in pursuit of the almighty dollar......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obi_Fox, hey! not promoting Ask Men but even a broken clock is right twice a day? How are those articles any different from some of the female focused site's/publications?

At the extreme end there's Tate. But there are many, many others sharing and promoting similar views.

Some men seem to seriously struggle with the notion that historical gender based roles and lifestyles have gone.

And the media lap it up and feed the machine in pursuit of the almighty dollar......

For once, I find myself agree with A. He is absolutely right. When men have the power it was normal but now tables seem to turn, they are crying out.

Like this t*** of Andrew Tate.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I haven’t read that article but from your post only I’d say that :

Very true. Who has sexualised it ever more though?

The ones who hold the power in society I’d say "

But how have those who hold the power done so?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven’t read that article but from your post only I’d say that :

Very true. Who has sexualised it ever more though?

The ones who hold the power in society I’d say

But how have those who hold the power done so? "

I open more flies than books so I wouldn’t know. I am not that knowledgeable.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

"I haven’t read that article but from your post only I’d say that :

Very true. Who has sexualised it ever more though?

The ones who hold the power in society I’d say "

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

Where to start with this? I’ve not read the article, hardly know who AT is, and generally avoid the kind of male/female clickbait content that proliferates online, so take what follows as the uniformed opinion of a casual observer.

It seems to me that society is currently awash with content that primarily aims to pitch one gender against another, by upending traditional gender-based stereotypes. Masculine arrogant men getting into fights etc: bad. Women embracing masculine traits and becoming ‘girl-boss’ types fighting and dominating all around them (as witnessed in almost all Disney content over the past couple of years): Good. Sexually active men with ‘any hole a goal’ attitude: bad. Sexually active women finding pleasure whenever and however the want: empowered and good. Women who embrace the traditional role of stay at home mum looking after home and children: bad. Men who embrace the traditional role of women to stay at home and look after the house and children: good. And on and on it goes.

There are so many competing and incoherent positions to adopt, so much hypocrisy, so much cognitive dissonance, so much casual misandry and competing misogyny, so much demonisation of various attitudes and positions and so many people existing in echo chambers that a coherent and rational debate will inevitably descend into the kind of toxic confrontation that everyone says they want to avoid.

Our society is in a state of upheaval. The differences that once allowed people to understand their role and place have all been upended, not just with gender roles, but the very essence of gender itself. While in many respects this is a good thing, it has also cast people adrift. It has created divisions that never existed before, and competition that never existed. While many will benefit, others will suffer. While some will loudly applaud, others will push back and condemn. What matters, all that can be hoped for, is that everyone, regardless of position, adopts a policy of listening without judgement or condemnation. This is the only way to achieve some kind of harmony.

Massive generalisations and waffle in the above to be sure, but it’s hard to be specific when you’re reaching

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Men feeling threatened by female empowerment is we guess a very real thing.. Tate, etc are utterly insecure arseholes and we have no time for them or even engaged enough to read their rhetoric.

Bias of media is ripe every where and people are entitled to their opinions always.

We are 100% aware that some may feel by just asking a question about something, we are either in the for or the opposing camp..

It was merely something we noticed and wondered others thoughts

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"Where to start with this?

Absolutely fantastic post! Thank you for your input!

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

You’re very welcome

it’s interesting to read what people think Xx

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"You’re very welcome

it’s interesting to read what people think Xx"

It is interesting. Often people just react in the way they've been programmed rather than pause for a moments thought.

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By *eyeY OP Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

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