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Why wont you love me he said to her.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

This is about an episode in eastenders, about keanu and sharon, did you also see it?

They have had a rocky relationship on and off, but sharon had her doubts about getting together again with keanu.

Deep inside keanu knew that she wanted him, but she was playing hard to get.

Every time keanu asked her, when they met, she pushed him away, after many tries he finally said to her, why wont you love me? She then cried for abit and wanted to get together again.

My question is, why do you think that some keeps pushing away the ones that they really love and want, is it some kind of self punishment?

As I see it, it was lucky that keanu kept trying and his feelings about it was the right one too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven’t watched eastenders in YONKS but I think people think they’re doing a kindness by pushing away those that they love. Because they think they’re hard to love/ the person deserves better/ they can’t be what the person needs.

The only thing is I think it’s always not up to us to decide if we’re good enough for someone or if that person deserves better, give people credit; they’re adults that can make their own decisions knowing the risks of them.

What a thought provoking thread this morning.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Trying to protect her own heart

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

You can’t decide who you fall in love with, you can decide what to do about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may love someone but you know it won't work.

Why go through the heartache.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may love someone but you know it won't work.

Why go through the heartache."

Funny init

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of self punishment, a lot of people don't think they are worthy of good love. Or maybe they have been in a bad relationship and don't want to project bad experiences onto the next one. Or they don't know how to love or receive love at all. There's many reasons why we push away people that could be good for us but mostly it's for our own protection or theirs.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 08/05/23 08:24:56]

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"I haven’t watched eastenders in YONKS but I think people think they’re doing a kindness by pushing away those that they love. Because they think they’re hard to love/ the person deserves better/ they can’t be what the person needs.

The only thing is I think it’s always not up to us to decide if we’re good enough for someone or if that person deserves better, give people credit; they’re adults that can make their own decisions knowing the risks of them.

What a thought provoking thread this morning. "
That is right and yes, those are good points of it, as it could be different reasons for it too, as they might not think they cant be what the person needs.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Past hurt, constantly needing proof that the other person loves them, lack of trust, they're just like that...loads of reasons. Quite often though it's because they can't, won't or don't love the other person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safety reasons

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Because they’re afraid.

Afraid of trusting someone with their heart.

Afraid of getting hurt (again).

Afraid to take that risk.

Self preservation Shag. If you don’t let someone into your life they can’t hurt you.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Because they’re afraid.

Afraid of trusting someone with their heart.

Afraid of getting hurt (again).

Afraid to take that risk.

Self preservation Shag. If you don’t let someone into your life they can’t hurt you."
You are right there too luna and yes, they are as well afraid to take the risk

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Past hurt, constantly needing proof that the other person loves them, lack of trust, they're just like that...loads of reasons. Quite often though it's because they can't, won't or don't love the other person"
You are right there too, as it is about the past that can hurt and the lack of trust as well

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve no idea about eastenders as I don’t watch it but I don’t really understand why either. I do believe it’s better to have loved and lost …. As they say

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"I’ve no idea about eastenders as I don’t watch it but I don’t really understand why either. I do believe it’s better to have loved and lost …. As they say "
Yes, you are right there, that is better as well

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Trying to protect her own heart "
Yes, that is also right

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London


"Trying to protect her own heart "

This is what I say to myself when people don’t reply to my messages!

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Also not watched it in years got bored by soaps.

As said already :

Fear of being hurt

Fear of hurting someone

Thinking you’re undeserving

Other factors that may mean it’s unlikely to succeed (distance, incompatibilities, disapproval of others, family circumstances…)

Knowing they aren’t good for you (we can be attracted to and even fall in love with people who aren’t good for us or indeed aren’t good full stop)

Knowing we aren’t good for them (although sometimes we aren’t the best judge of this)

Love isn’t easy, rare there’s a smooth “happy ever after” the most solid couples I know haven’t had it easy at all. They’ve been through some real tough times but been able to weather them together.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss


"Trying to protect her own heart

This is what I say to myself when people don’t reply to my messages! "

I should have done the same as them

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't watch this show and thus the characters are unknown to me.

We don't engage with others for many reasons, including the timing not being right for us. We can also know that the cost is too high, for what we may gain.

Being single is under-valued, as many of us here know. It's great to work out how to be happy as a single person.

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I don't watch this show and thus the characters are unknown to me.

We don't engage with others for many reasons, including the timing not being right for us. We can also know that the cost is too high, for what we may gain.

Being single is under-valued, as many of us here know. It's great to work out how to be happy as a single person. "

Totally agree. Single 20 years here, love my own space and independence, can suit myself. Yea there are downsides on occasion eg I’m full of tonsillitis at the moment so would be nice to have someone looking after me, and I could do with a pop up “handyman” as I’m crap at DIY, but generally speaking I prefer being single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may love someone but you know it won't work.

Why go through the heartache."

Why wouldnt it work. ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Trying to protect her own heart "

Nonsense .

If u want to protect your heart u go for something that makes u happy n complete .

Instead of leaving your self chained to something that all makes is you thinking of what u really want .

Freedom , that’s how u protect your heart .

Deal with it , sort it out and go n be happy .

If u die tomorrow at list u were happy for one day

Sounds better then miserable forever

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"You can’t decide who you fall in love with, you can decide what to do about it"
That is also right, that you cant decide who you fall in love with

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"It can be a form of self punishment, a lot of people don't think they are worthy of good love. Or maybe they have been in a bad relationship and don't want to project bad experiences onto the next one. Or they don't know how to love or receive love at all. There's many reasons why we push away people that could be good for us but mostly it's for our own protection or theirs."
Yes. I also thought that it could be a form of self punishment, yeah it seemed that she wanted to love him, but she wouldnt let her self do it, but yes, now they are together which is good

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