FabSwingers.com forum: The bits we don't love... back again.

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Thank you so much to everyone who joined in the first thread... I'll keep replying to you in there but just in case anyone else wants yo join in...

Here is the OP...

I've been thinking about this for a while and decided I'd bring this thread back, not least because of Raven's thread, and some of Tea's thread. So excuse the waffle (you know I don't do things by halves!)

We all have bits we don't love about ourselves. All of us. Size 0, Size 36, XS, 5XL and everything in between. It's rare to find a lucky person who loves all of themselves equally.

For me it's mainly my belly. That's been an issue for me at a size 32 and a size 10. I'm mostly ok with it when I'm wearing clothes these days but getting naked is still an issue. Add to that the rolls to my sides, the bingo wings and the excess skin from yo yo weight loss and gain, and pretty much I feel like a car crash from neck to ankle (and I hate feet, so I guess actually neck down).

I have one mirror in my house that's bigger than a pocket size, and that's above the bathroom sink. I rarely look in it.

But my body has got me through over 44 years of my life. It's broken. It's been pulled apart and stitched back together and it has destroyed me irreparably by not being able to grow children. But it's mine. I own it.

There are people who find it revolting. But I'm doing my damn best not to listen to them any more. There are people who find it sexy. There are men who have caressed it, who have kissed it all over and made me feel beautiful because they think I am. They're the ones I try to listen to now. There's a man in my life who glories in all of me, and I know it hurts him when I do myself down.

And there are women. Beautiful, wonderful women who can see what I see. They see what the parts I believe are flawed are and they know how I feel about them. And they tell me I shouldn't worry, despite them knowing that's never going to happen. They tell me I'm beautiful, my body isn't what I think it is, and that I'm not actually as massive as I believe. They see how I look at myself and give it the name body dysmorphia, where I call it fact.

We all look at the "flaws" in ourselves with a far more critical eye than we ever would look at others. I could have a twin, a clone of me, looking exactly as I do and I'd tell her she was beautiful. I'm sure so many of you feel the same. We need to be kinder to ourselves as much as we do to others.

So here I am. This is me. This is all of me, the good and the bad. I'm putting this picture up, as I have a slightly less revealing one before, in the hope that it'll help me to love me a bit more. I'm also doing it in the hope that others will look at my body and feel better about theirs.

And yes. This is in part a "look at me" post. It isn't a "tell me I'm gorgeous" post though, it's just a "here I am". I'm hoping others may use it as a "look at me too" post and find their inner strength to show of the bits they don't love too.

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

Yeah part 2.

Lets get more people showing off their fab bodies, warts n all

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

This is incredibly human, touching, and beautiful. We live in the tension between our self-perception and the way others see us, but sometimes that tension is unbearably taut.

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By *agnar73Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Usually think arms, legs okay but torso with belly not so much. Get away with it through my height, but need to exercise more and cut out eating crap.

I could use dadbod excuse, but see some other guys my age and think I could do better. I have other general life reasons for wanting to do better too

Conversely, I appreciate both slim and BBW women and anything in between and what might seem imperfection is fascinating with the little differences between women.

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Yeah part 2.

Lets get more people showing off their fab bodies, warts n all

Hope so

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"This is incredibly human, touching, and beautiful. We live in the tension between our self-perception and the way others see us, but sometimes that tension is unbearably taut."

It is. And the nature of tension is stressful... stressful for us seeing ourselves as we do, and stressful for those who wish we could see ourselves as they do

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Usually think arms, legs okay but torso with belly not so much. Get away with it through my height, but need to exercise more and cut out eating crap.

I could use dadbod excuse, but see some other guys my age and think I could do better. I have other general life reasons for wanting to do better too

Conversely, I appreciate both slim and BBW women and anything in between and what might seem imperfection is fascinating with the little differences between women.

So I’m tougher on myself as usual. "

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I really dislike my saggy belly and the bit at the top of my thighs that's gone saggy in recent years. I also hate my injury. Currently sat with my feet up on my wheelchair because the Bad Foot is swollen so badly. It can't cope with the sudden change in temperature - it's been pretty warm here today. Coupled with the medically induced menopause and I currently hate life

I hate my uterus too, because it just causes me pain and suffering and should be consigned to the bin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah part 2.

Lets get more people showing off their fab bodies, warts n all

Hope so"

I'm still not brave enough! I really do admire those that can though

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By *carlett 44Woman
over a year ago

bootle

I am not keen on my muffin top. I know I wdnt have my beautiful kids but I do look at it n think yuck. Also I hav one boob smaller than the other I hav a scar from a heart operation as a child n it makes me nervous when gettin undressed

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I really dislike my saggy belly and the bit at the top of my thighs that's gone saggy in recent years. I also hate my injury. Currently sat with my feet up on my wheelchair because the Bad Foot is swollen so badly. It can't cope with the sudden change in temperature - it's been pretty warm here today. Coupled with the medically induced menopause and I currently hate life

I hate my uterus too, because it just causes me pain and suffering and should be consigned to the bin

I am going to absolutely agree your uterus should be consigned to the bin. Do you think that a fab petition would work for the NHS?

Do me a favour woman... remember that keyring I made you?

You're amazing in the face of so much adversity. And always have a smile for a stranger. You rock

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Yeah part 2.

Lets get more people showing off their fab bodies, warts n all

Hope so

I'm still not brave enough! I really do admire those that can though

They are so brave, I love it! I'll get you this time next year dammit

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I am not keen on my muffin top. I know I wdnt have my beautiful kids but I do look at it n think yuck. Also I hav one boob smaller than the other I hav a scar from a heart operation as a child n it makes me nervous when gettin undressed "

Apparently we all have one smaller than the other. I was told that the other day

That scar is a reason you're here. Embrace the joy of it.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

OP, I love this. You are bloody brilliant. I haven't been able to take any pics to join in but I love the thread.

Mrs TMN x

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"OP, I love this. You are bloody brilliant. I haven't been able to take any pics to join in but I love the thread.

Mrs TMN x"

Thank you Mrs T... I love it too!

And you've been awesome previously on them. Yay you!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I hate my uterus too, because it just causes me pain and suffering and should be consigned to the bin

I am going to absolutely agree your uterus should be consigned to the bin. Do you think that a fab petition would work for the NHS?

Do me a favour woman... remember that keyring I made you?

You're amazing in the face of so much adversity. And always have a smile for a stranger. You rock"

My car keys are on my lovely keyring

I'm on a uterus-binning waiting list! But it's looooooooong.

Can we chop off my lower leg/foot at the same time too?!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I hate my uterus too, because it just causes me pain and suffering and should be consigned to the bin

I am going to absolutely agree your uterus should be consigned to the bin. Do you think that a fab petition would work for the NHS?

Do me a favour woman... remember that keyring I made you?

You're amazing in the face of so much adversity. And always have a smile for a stranger. You rock

My car keys are on my lovely keyring

I'm on a uterus-binning waiting list! But it's looooooooong.

Can we chop off my lower leg/foot at the same time too?!"

Ooh. I have a bone saw somewhere...

(Nice one Posh... make sure they all think you're weird

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Usually think arms, legs okay but torso with belly not so much. Get away with it through my height, but need to exercise more and cut out eating crap.

I could use dadbod excuse, but see some other guys my age and think I could do better. I have other general life reasons for wanting to do better too

Conversely, I appreciate both slim and BBW women and anything in between and what might seem imperfection is fascinating with the little differences between women.

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend..."

I need to try to do this!! If anyone spoke to me the way I speak to myself I would punch them in the face lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you so much… I needed to read this today. Much love ??

"Thank you so much to everyone who joined in the first thread... I'll keep replying to you in there but just in case anyone else wants yo join in...

Here is the OP...

We all have bits we don't love about ourselves. All of us. Size 0, Size 36, XS, 5XL and everything in between. It's rare to find a lucky person who loves all of themselves equally.

I have one mirror in my house that's bigger than a pocket size, and that's above the bathroom sink. I rarely look in it.

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By *agnar73Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend..."

That’d be a lot of swear words

I may have to try as a hypothetical ’nice friend’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's not much of my body that I'm not ashamed of. I have good days and bad sometimes I think I don't look too bad, other days I close my eyes as I pass the mirror

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Usually think arms, legs okay but torso with belly not so much. Get away with it through my height, but need to exercise more and cut out eating crap.

I could use dadbod excuse, but see some other guys my age and think I could do better. I have other general life reasons for wanting to do better too

Conversely, I appreciate both slim and BBW women and anything in between and what might seem imperfection is fascinating with the little differences between women.

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend..."

Love this. Ive recently been going through a period of being unkind to myself. So I'll try the speaking to myself as I would to my friends.

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

My grey thinning hair absolutely fucking sucks but main thing I hate is the stomach scars I have a very ugly incision scar that runs from pubes to top 2 abs plus a scar where had to have a temporary shit bag it’s mainly the bag scar that bothers me as it’s round and slightly herniated to top it off so sticks out unless really lean would love them fixed but lived with them long enough now

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Usually think arms, legs okay but torso with belly not so much. Get away with it through my height, but need to exercise more and cut out eating crap.

I could use dadbod excuse, but see some other guys my age and think I could do better. I have other general life reasons for wanting to do better too

Conversely, I appreciate both slim and BBW women and anything in between and what might seem imperfection is fascinating with the little differences between women.

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend...

I need to try to do this!! If anyone spoke to me the way I speak to myself I would punch them in the face lol

Ditto!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Thank you so much… I needed to read this today. Much love ??

Thank you so much to everyone who joined in the first thread... I'll keep replying to you in there but just in case anyone else wants yo join in...

Here is the OP...

We all have bits we don't love about ourselves. All of us. Size 0, Size 36, XS, 5XL and everything in between. It's rare to find a lucky person who loves all of themselves equally.

I have one mirror in my house that's bigger than a pocket size, and that's above the bathroom sink. I rarely look in it.

Oh Anne you're so welcome. And welcome to the forum

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend...

That’d be a lot of swear words

I may have to try as a hypothetical ’nice friend’ "

Do that. That works

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"There's not much of my body that I'm not ashamed of. I have good days and bad sometimes I think I don't look too bad, other days I close my eyes as I pass the mirror"

Try setting yourself the task if saying one nice thing about your appearance every time you pass the mirror. It'll become habit

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Usually think arms, legs okay but torso with belly not so much. Get away with it through my height, but need to exercise more and cut out eating crap.

I could use dadbod excuse, but see some other guys my age and think I could do better. I have other general life reasons for wanting to do better too

Conversely, I appreciate both slim and BBW women and anything in between and what might seem imperfection is fascinating with the little differences between women.

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend...

Love this. Ive recently been going through a period of being unkind to myself. So I'll try the speaking to myself as I would to my friends.

Do! Please do

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"My grey thinning hair absolutely fucking sucks but main thing I hate is the stomach scars I have a very ugly incision scar that runs from pubes to top 2 abs plus a scar where had to have a temporary shit bag it’s mainly the bag scar that bothers me as it’s round and slightly herniated to top it off so sticks out unless really lean would love them fixed but lived with them long enough now"

Those scars are a very important part of your story and your life. Without them things would likely be very different. I hope you can learn to embrace them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was larking about with my OH last week and he took a naked photo of me

It actually disgusted me

He saw my face change

"Do you not see how sexy that is?"

No, all I saw was fat and old age

It is probably 10 days since I have seen the picture, but I can still see it clearly in my head, like it is haunting me

However, I am aware enough to know that I am not in a great place mentally at the minute and that grief and mourning figure heavily and me

So I am confident it will pass, but, for now, either my body is adding to my mental health issues or my mental health issues are adding to my dismorphia

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By *agnar73Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Can only advise on grey hair but I’ve learned to shave my head by touch and I choose after whether to let it grow or shave again

I’d have preferred to either have my hair go grey or thin but unfortunately both happened.

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By *agnar73Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend...

That’d be a lot of swear words

I may have to try as a hypothetical ’nice friend’

Do that. That works

Too many mates that rip the piss I guess

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Still here Posh and still nekkid,can't believe I've left it up this long but there's something very freeing about it. Delighted yours is still up too , you're brave and have given us all the kick up the arse to do the same Em

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Those scars are a very important part of your story and your life. Without them things would likely be very different. I hope you can learn to embrace them

Thank you I try too and the surgery that gave me the scars gave me my life back so kind of glad they there in that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate my uterus too, because it just causes me pain and suffering and should be consigned to the bin

I am going to absolutely agree your uterus should be consigned to the bin. Do you think that a fab petition would work for the NHS?

Do me a favour woman... remember that keyring I made you?

You're amazing in the face of so much adversity. And always have a smile for a stranger. You rock

My car keys are on my lovely keyring

I'm on a uterus-binning waiting list! But it's looooooooong.

Can we chop off my lower leg/foot at the same time too?!"

Sending thoughts to move you up the uterus-binning list

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Can only advise on grey hair but I’ve learned to shave my head by touch and I choose after whether to let it grow or shave again

I’d have preferred to either have my hair go grey or thin but unfortunately both happened. "

I’m Not brave enough to try shaving it yet mate I was like you I didn’t mind going grey early but then it start thin as well I was like ffs can’t I just have one haha

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I was larking about with my OH last week and he took a naked photo of me

It actually disgusted me

He saw my face change

"Do you not see how sexy that is?"

No, all I saw was fat and old age

It is probably 10 days since I have seen the picture, but I can still see it clearly in my head, like it is haunting me

However, I am aware enough to know that I am not in a great place mentally at the minute and that grief and mourning figure heavily and me

So I am confident it will pass, but, for now, either my body is adding to my mental health issues or my mental health issues are adding to my dismorphia "

Bussy my sweet, it is lovely to see you again

I'm so glad you're so aware. And I hope you'll be able to see it soon. It is gorgeous that your OH sees you, that support is glorious.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

So I’m tougher on myself as usual.

You're human. Try and talk to yourself as a friend...

That’d be a lot of swear words

I may have to try as a hypothetical ’nice friend’

Do that. That works

Too many mates that rip the piss I guess

Yes. It's a thing.

Be kind to you

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Still here Posh and still nekkid,can't believe I've left it up this long but there's something very freeing about it. Delighted yours is still up too , you're brave and have given us all the kick up the arse to do the same Em

You've rocked this Em! Thank you

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Those scars are a very important part of your story and your life. Without them things would likely be very different. I hope you can learn to embrace them

Thank you I try too and the surgery that gave me the scars gave me my life back so kind of glad they there in that way"

Exactly. That's what you need to remember when you look at them

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Ill do everyone a favour and keep mine covered x

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Op I fabbed your pic, cos it’s fab.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Ill do everyone a favour and keep mine covered x"

If you prefer. That's not the aim of the thread though...

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

"Ill do everyone a favour and keep mine covered x

If you prefer. That's not the aim of the thread though..."

Not getting the hang of threads at the moment lol

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I set a pic that shows both my flub and my wheels

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Op I fabbed your pic, cos it’s fab."

Thank you

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I set a pic that shows both my flub and my wheels

Hello lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not very keen on my belly.

It changed massively after I had my kiddo .. stretchmarks, lose skin, c section scar. I'm slowly learning to accept it and I hope one day I'll love that part of me. X

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By *agnar73Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Can only advise on grey hair but I’ve learned to shave my head by touch and I choose after whether to let it grow or shave again

I’d have preferred to either have my hair go grey or thin but unfortunately both happened.

I’m Not brave enough to try shaving it yet mate I was like you I didn’t mind going grey early but then it start thin as well I was like ffs can’t I just have one haha "

Exactly how I felt, just one would have been okay

It’s a bit of a ‘fuckit’ thing, at time I knew it was a mess and just went for it

Recently I did the shave the head leave the beard but I’m back to letting hair grow a little and shaving face.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Not very keen on my belly.

It changed massively after I had my kiddo .. stretchmarks, lose skin, c section scar. I'm slowly learning to accept it and I hope one day I'll love that part of me. X"

I hope so too. That's what we wish for

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I've never been happy with how I looked to be honest, I think I've grown into my looks, I carry more weight around my midsection than I'd like to and I hated my big schnozz for many years. I kind of accept myself as I am now though. Oh and I have no bum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used to be fine with how my body looks as I’ve got older body has changed made to pics available on profile all the squisy bits don’t like them but it is what it is am trying will get there eventually

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I've never been happy with how I looked to be honest, I think I've grown into my looks, I carry more weight around my midsection than I'd like to and I hated my big schnozz for many years. I kind of accept myself as I am now though. Oh and I have no bum. "

I'm sure I could find your bum...

I love that you have acceptance Mag, that makes me happy. Give it a while and you'll get to like...

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Used to be fine with how my body looks as I’ve got older body has changed made to pics available on profile all the squisy bits don’t like them but it is what it is am trying will get there eventually

I think if you want to change yourself, you will. I say well done for doing it!

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I've been naked on here nearly all day

I went out for the concert and forgot! I'm glad it's still going though.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Hey Posh, my body is very similar to yours, it’s been so stretched with pregnancies and shrunk with weight loss, stretched again with weight increases and then shrunk a bit more with more weight loss it’s lost all its elasticity. I’m basically a bag of jelly just wobbling along in life these days

you know what though, it’s my body, it’s me, it’s who I am and I’ve been lucky (for want of a better phrase) that people I’ve met haven’t been to repulsed by it and some have rather enjoyed it more than once

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

"Hey Posh, my body is very similar to yours, it’s been so stretched with pregnancies and shrunk with weight loss, stretched again with weight increases and then shrunk a bit more with more weight loss it’s lost all its elasticity. I’m basically a bag of jelly just wobbling along in life these days

Top woman you are. You had me tied to a chair once!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Top woman you are. You had me tied to a chair once! "

I remember it well

still got the handcuffs

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

There you go, the most naked picture you'll get of me on here ha ha

Don't really like my post c section x 3 belly and chubby thighs.

But it makes me ...... me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My big belly on profile nearly naked

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"There you go, the most naked picture you'll get of me on here ha ha

Don't really like my post c section x 3 belly and chubby thighs.

But it makes me ...... me!

Lovely

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

It's really hard to put yourself out there on a thread like this. To show a less flattering picture, to show the bits that make you curl up and cry inside. If you're in touch with someone on this thread (and the first) and they posted, it might be worth a message to make them feel seen. To let them know you're not running away screaming and that you still would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s so many things we don’t like about ourselves! I really don’t like my little belly or the fact I’m losing my hairline but I really don’t let it bother me.

C really doesn’t like her mum tum or boobs and it really does bother her. But we’re both really complimentary with each other everyday and we’re learning to love our own bodies a little more day by day.

This place really helps tbh! The amount of people who pay compliments and go out of their way to say nice things, far outweighs the negative people and it’s been really positive for both of us!

Confidence isn’t something I’ve ever struggled with, just parts of me I wish I could change but C has really struggled in the past and this has been great for her!

Thank you, you fab sexy people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We, ALL, I repeat, all, have insecurities, be it physically, intellectually or emotionally.

The key is to not let them transpired to the ones who will use them so as to hurt you.

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