FabSwingers.com forum: It’s been 2 weeks

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's been 3 weeks for me. I'm fit to burst. It's a bugger when work gets in the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've heard Fifty Shades of Grey is a good book and film, not sure what it's about though.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

Umm, I'm happy to help

If only for the Stegosaurus! Where was that when I was coming up with my hot pics scavenger hunt!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've heard Fifty Shades of Grey is a good book and film, not sure what it's about though."

That is a cruel, cruel punishment. I shall explode into an icky gooey mess before I go there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god such beautiful women too, it can't be from lack of offers

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I'm just about to finish the Divine Comedy (4 cantos of Paradisio to go,thankyouforasking). It has been by turns breathtaking, stimulating, awe-inspiring, long, imaginative, occasionally painful, often ecstatic, and overall a spiritual journey ending in surpassing joy and utter respect and admiration for the person who took me on such an astounding voyage of discovery.

Which, luckily, is just how I like my sex. So I can definitely recommend it as a substitute.

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

La La Land

"I've heard Fifty Shades of Grey is a good book and film, not sure what it's about though."

I think it's similar to a Dulux colour chart ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally if I had a while to wait if have phone sex which is slightly better than just playing failing that I'd rewatch breaking bad

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

Laurel Hamilton has a great series of books about a vampire hunter called Anita Blake

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

Umm, I'm happy to help

If only for the Stegosaurus! Where was that when I was coming up with my hot pics scavenger hunt!

I bloody love dinosaurs. An embarrassing amount of my photos have dinos in them somewhere

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Six months. I'm running on fading memories...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh god such beautiful women too, it can't be from lack of offers"

No, major surgery gets in the way of my sex life.

Also side note, looks have nothing to do with it. I could be a massive cunt. Or it could be that I chose my partners rather than take every offer.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

Umm, I'm happy to help

If only for the Stegosaurus! Where was that when I was coming up with my hot pics scavenger hunt!

I bloody love dinosaurs. An embarrassing amount of my photos have dinos in them somewhere "

Actually, that's my recommendation. Go zooming in on hot pics for random objects! Depending on how hot they are they might not have the desired effect though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's been 3 weeks for me. I'm fit to burst. It's a bugger when work gets in the way."

I feel you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pffft try over a year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

I'd really like to help with the recommendations. I'll DM you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm just about to finish the Divine Comedy (4 cantos of Paradisio to go,thankyouforasking). It has been by turns breathtaking, stimulating, awe-inspiring, long, imaginative, occasionally painful, often ecstatic, and overall a spiritual journey ending in surpassing joy and utter respect and admiration for the person who took me on such an astounding voyage of discovery.

Which, luckily, is just how I like my sex. So I can definitely recommend it as a substitute.

This is a wonderful recommendation, thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pffft try over a year. "

Pfffft try over 4 years.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Six months. I'm running on fading memories..."

Get this woman orgasms STAT

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pffft try over a year. "

I heard it grows a scab and heals up at 18months

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Struggling to have sympathy for you. It was a year for me.

I hear you on the orgasms though. I usually get bored by myself. Although, I have had some inspiring conversation recently.

A caucasian I find to be good for what ails you.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

"Pffft try over a year.

I heard it grows a scab and heals up at 18months "

I auction off my hymen every year to kinky Saudi princesses in a bidding war just before Riyadh's main wedding fair.

It helps pay for my daily therapy sessions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times

shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.

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By *horstrollMan
over a year ago

Caprona

"Pffft try over a year. "

You’re always welcome to visit oop north or am sure someone will offer to help you out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times

shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time."

I could come and give it a kiss to make her feel better

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By *andy BarSteward73Man
over a year ago

Sandwell

"Pffft try over a year. "

I'm still 'winning'.....or should that be 'losing'?

"Good things come to those who wait...."

but I don't drink Guinness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times

shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time."

You're right, I'm sorry. How insensitive of me. Tell your vagina that my emotional support lines are closed atm due to the Bank Holiday but will open again at 8am on Tuesday and can provide all the comfort and support she needs. Hang in there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pffft try over a year.

I heard it grows a scab and heals up at 18months "

I shall let you know.

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By *egDaySkipperMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think it's been like a month for me

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

I’d be climbing the walls OP so feel your pain. Beef is a good series on Netflix. I’m currently watching the L Word but not sure that would be helpful in your current state

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you come and rub my back I'll get Mr to rub yours. That'll keep you occupied

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you come and rub my back I'll get Mr to rub yours. That'll keep you occupied

That would be very entertaining and something I may take you up on when I’m recovered.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times

shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.

I could come and give it a kiss to make her feel better "

Hmm I searched, didn’t see that as a tv recommendation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pffft try over a year.

I heard it grows a scab and heals up at 18months

I auction off my hymen every year to kinky Saudi princesses in a bidding war just before Riyadh's main wedding fair.

It helps pay for my daily therapy sessions."

As a man growing a hymen each year I feel you could get much more money for this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pffft try over a year.

Pfffft try over 4 years."

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

"Pffft try over a year.

I heard it grows a scab and heals up at 18months

I auction off my hymen every year to kinky Saudi princesses in a bidding war just before Riyadh's main wedding fair.

It helps pay for my daily therapy sessions.

As a man growing a hymen each year I feel you could get much more money for this."

Marketing is very much not in my skillset, as a brief perusal of my profile would attest.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time."

This doesn’t help you one little bit but I’m now wondering which member of my harem* I should nickname ‘my emotional support vagina’.

*I don’t actually have a harem. Chance would be a fine thing.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

I’ve been asking for the same and someone recommended me Grey’s Anatomy. Have you seen that?

One of these days I’m going to be brave and tackle reading Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.

Short of that, smash through the catch up service archives. I’m finding all sorts of good stuff!!

Will you be up to gardening? Need to keep the front garden tidy

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

I would like to enquire from whence you procured that monochromatic Elephantine shirt? It would go rather well with my green skinny Corduroys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.

This doesn’t help you one little bit but I’m now wondering which member of my harem* I should nickname ‘my emotional support vagina’.

*I don’t actually have a harem. Chance would be a fine thing."

I would love a harem

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

I’ve been asking for the same and someone recommended me Grey’s Anatomy. Have you seen that?

One of these days I’m going to be brave and tackle reading Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.

Short of that, smash through the catch up service archives. I’m finding all sorts of good stuff!!

Will you be up to gardening? Need to keep the front garden tidy

Crutches and gardening don’t go so well.

I forgot about greys, it’s one of those ones I wanted to watch but when it first came out I was in multiple countries and everywhere was on different series and episodes and it just got too confusing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would like to enquire from whence you procured that monochromatic Elephantine shirt? It would go rather well with my green skinny Corduroys."

Unfortunately for you it’s a wrap dress. Banana Republic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two months and the webs are taking over...

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Thought this was a sequel to the barenaked ladies song

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By *ove2watchMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Wow two weeks... That's nothing comparing to months without it #starvingDog

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.

This doesn’t help you one little bit but I’m now wondering which member of my harem* I should nickname ‘my emotional support vagina’.

*I don’t actually have a harem. Chance would be a fine thing."

That's my next fab username

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

OP - We could but a cake recipe book and get really messy in the kitchen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.

This doesn’t help you one little bit but I’m now wondering which member of my harem* I should nickname ‘my emotional support vagina’.

*I don’t actually have a harem. Chance would be a fine thing.

That's my next fab username

It would be a cracking name

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP - We could but a cake recipe book and get really messy in the kitchen

This sounds like a potential slip hazard. Let’s pencil it in for 8 weeks when I’m not a hop along.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"OP - We could but a cake recipe book and get really messy in the kitchen

This sounds like a potential slip hazard. Let’s pencil it in for 8 weeks when I’m not a hop along. "

Oops I meant buy, not but (damn red wine).

8 weeks pencilled in. Get well soon btw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times

shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.

I could come and give it a kiss to make her feel better

Hmm I searched, didn’t see that as a tv recommendation "

It’s a tv show on sky

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Our thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

You already know OP our thoughts are on you quite a lot anyway

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list"

All sorts. The last 5 I read to show you a random snap section,

Entangled life. Merlin Sheldrake

Jitterbug perfume - Tom Robbins

The Eyes of Darkness - Dean Koontz

The Body - Bill Bryson

Llama Drama Anna McNuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get withdrawal symptoms after a few days so two weeks would be hell on earth

In fact it's been since Monday morning and we have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to see each other naked and the turkey's starting to get a bit cold already.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

I've informed the met office and the life guard to expect serious flood damage once newcat and posh burst.

May God have mercy on us all

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list

All sorts. The last 5 I read to show you a random snap section,

Entangled life. Merlin Sheldrake

Jitterbug perfume - Tom Robbins

The Eyes of Darkness - Dean Koontz

The Body - Bill Bryson

Llama Drama Anna McNuff "

That’s a nice eclectic mix, maybe try

Bunny - Mona Awad

The starless sea - Erin Morgenstern

I’m glad my mom died -Jeanette McCurdy

I who have never known men - Jacqueline Harpman

Wild - Cheryl Strayed

The song of Achilles - Madeline Miller

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list

All sorts. The last 5 I read to show you a random snap section,

Entangled life. Merlin Sheldrake

Jitterbug perfume - Tom Robbins

The Eyes of Darkness - Dean Koontz

The Body - Bill Bryson

Llama Drama Anna McNuff

That’s a nice eclectic mix, maybe try

Bunny - Mona Awad

The starless sea - Erin Morgenstern

I’m glad my mom died -Jeanette McCurdy

I who have never known men - Jacqueline Harpman

Wild - Cheryl Strayed

The song of Achilles - Madeline Miller"

Fantastic, thank you so much. I’ve added them to my shopping list

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"It's been 3 weeks for me. I'm fit to burst. It's a bugger when work gets in the way."

Mere amateurs

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list

All sorts. The last 5 I read to show you a random snap section,

Entangled life. Merlin Sheldrake

Jitterbug perfume - Tom Robbins

The Eyes of Darkness - Dean Koontz

The Body - Bill Bryson

Llama Drama Anna McNuff

That’s a nice eclectic mix, maybe try

Bunny - Mona Awad

The starless sea - Erin Morgenstern

I’m glad my mom died -Jeanette McCurdy

I who have never known men - Jacqueline Harpman

Wild - Cheryl Strayed

The song of Achilles - Madeline Miller

Fantastic, thank you so much. I’ve added them to my shopping list "

I always love chatting about books so let me know what you think of any you read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're into scifi then I'd highly recommend Altered Carbon on Netflix. Or The Witcher if you fancy some fantasy and Henry Cavill in a bath

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

I definitely find that the more that I have, the more that I want.

My thoughts are with you in this trying time as I’m feeling rather similar to yourself…

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Congratulations OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over a year here! Lol what’s sex again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Book - prisoners of geography

Film - the last kingdom film

TV the last kingdom

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you're into scifi then I'd highly recommend Altered Carbon on Netflix. Or The Witcher if you fancy some fantasy and Henry Cavill in a bath

I couldn’t get on with The Witcher, as hot as he is I just couldn’t get into it.

I’ve not heard of Altered Carbon I will add it to the watch list.

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Book - prisoners of geography

Film - the last kingdom film

TV the last kingdom "

I saw the movie Last kingdom, I didn’t know there was a tv show also. I will add it to my list

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"…Since I had sex.

I might explode in a big goeey mess.

It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.

Orgasms you give your self are not the same.

Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations

I definitely find that the more that I have, the more that I want.

My thoughts are with you in this trying time as I’m feeling rather similar to yourself… "

Eek Go get em. Flutter those lashes get those orgasms

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford