FabSwingers.com forum: Socials.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The big ones....

Manchester, London, Northampton etc.

Have you been? What was it like? Were you nervous?

Or are you too chicken like me to go to one?

I think I'm way too chicken.

Yet I've walked around a club in my underwear so it makes no sense.

Do you find it uncomfortable in a big crowd, fear that no one will speak to you, be too conscious of your body or looks? Or does the fact people get d*unk at these things put you off if you're not a drinker? Or would you just get so stuck on what to wear you'd rather stay home?

Questions based on conversations with others that wouldn't go. As well as my thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The big ones....

Manchester, London, Northampton etc.

Have you been? What was it like? Were you nervous?

Or are you too chicken like me to go to one?

I chickened out even though my Fab friends go and love them.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We've been to Manchester. I enjoy it because I like chatting and dancing etc. Mr KC didn't enjoy it because he doesn't like very noisy environments and the disco flashing lights plus loud music and noise of chatting was too much for him. Neither of us had any issue with mingling with others from Fab, though.

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By *rMonkeyMan
over a year ago

Somewhere

Manchester twice, Birmingham twice, Northampton, Secret Tea Party London.

Love them, great way to meet people.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve been to all of those in the past. I found them great fun at the time. Always was nervous at first but no need to be. I don’t go anymore as I have less time and would rather spend that time with my friends/fwbs but they are definitely worth going to x

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By *allum29Man
over a year ago

Banbury

I've been to some of them, I've found the big ones can be too big to get any quality conversation with people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

MCR and UTB off fab.

Both were excellent.

No issues, even as an introvert ... You find your tribe.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I'm going to my first non bdsm based social next month.

I'm trying not to overthink myself out of it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"MCR and UTB off fab.

Both were excellent.

No issues, even as an introvert ... You find your tribe.

But what if I don't find my tribe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We go to these all the time. There's really nothing to be worried about. They're relaxed and chilled and it's just like any other crowd in a pub. We're running our own in Sutton next week.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I used to enjoy going to the socials, seeing whether people look like their avatars and learning that their online persona is different to their real life presence.

I like chatting so socials work well for me in that sense. I'm not very good at converting socials to play, though, so it's good that there is no expectation that that should happen.

I made one of my longest Fab friendships meeting at a social.

Go to a smaller one and build up from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been to socials in Kent well attended and love them, can make comnections with like minded people.

Great for single guys as females and couples are more at ease knowing that those club lurkers don't turn up

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"MCR and UTB off fab.

Both were excellent.

No issues, even as an introvert ... You find your tribe.

I haven't been around for a while, what's UTB?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not even sure what my nearest one is! How do I find out?

Is there a list somewhere?

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By *olourmeplayfulWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I’ve been to the Manchester one a couple of times. I was super nervous but it’s way more relaxed than you might imagine. We’re just normal people chatting in the pub. We just might have fun names on our name badges

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I'm not even sure what my nearest one is! How do I find out?

Is there a list somewhere? "

It’ll be the London ones for you. None really closer to where you live. Spurs does a great one, usually more north London

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'm not even sure what my nearest one is! How do I find out?

Is there a list somewhere? "

Yes, go to Meets and Events.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

We’ve been to quite a few in the past.

Not really interested these days but we’ve always enjoyed them.

We were going to attend the one woody and Redfordanger have organised in Manchester soon but we’ve got a family thing now so had to bail.

You should attend one op, you’d have a lovely time I’d wager

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By *rMonkeyMan
over a year ago

Somewhere

"I'm not even sure what my nearest one is! How do I find out?

Is there a list somewhere? "

Check the meet requests and parties section, loads in there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not even sure what my nearest one is! How do I find out?

Is there a list somewhere?

It’ll be the London ones for you. None really closer to where you live. Spurs does a great one, usually more north London "

Thank you Nora.

Need to find my big girl pants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to my first one next week in Leeds and it's going to be quite a big one so to speak.. Im a mixture of nervous and excited!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I've been to three different London ones.

One of them I've attended loads of times and met some really wonderful people.

The first time I went I was more worried about navigating the tube and getting lost than actually meeting the people, as I'd interacted with some of them quite a bit on the forums beforehand.

I have to say there wasn't one that I went to where I didn't enjoy myself.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"MCR and UTB off fab.

Both were excellent.

No issues, even as an introvert ... You find your tribe.

But what if I don't find my tribe

They'll find you.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"MCR and UTB off fab.

Both were excellent.

No issues, even as an introvert ... You find your tribe.

But what if I don't find my tribe

What if you do find your tribe....tell yourself you won't and you won't.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I've attended a few now. I'm in Birmingham for one now.

You don't have to drink if you don't want to, there's no pressure to do so. I've heard people get really d*unk in clubs so... I think it's more about the people. If someone wants to get d*unk, they will, regardless of where they are.

In terms of feeling self conscious, I find socials you don't really. You realise people are just people. I think in a club I'd be more aware of my body if that makes sense? But I've not really attended many club nights at all (three!).

I don't think socials are for everyone all that being said. And different socials have different vibes.

If you want to go to one OP, you should do it. Easier said than done sometimes but I think you'll enjoy it.

Find a smaller one like the one Spurs does.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"The big ones....

Manchester, London, Northampton etc.

Have you been? What was it like? Were you nervous?

Or are you too chicken like me to go to one?

I think I'm way too chicken.

Yet I've walked around a club in my underwear so it makes no sense.

Questions based on conversations with others that wouldn't go. As well as my thoughts.

Didn’t realise there was a big one in northampton?

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

I have a big one in South West London. I don’t run a social though…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MCR and UTB off fab.

Both were excellent.

No issues, even as an introvert ... You find your tribe.

But what if I don't find my tribe

They'll find you."

Ps UTB is up the Brum to whoever asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The big ones....

Manchester, London, Northampton etc.

Have you been? What was it like? Were you nervous?

Or are you too chicken like me to go to one?

I think I'm way too chicken.

Yet I've walked around a club in my underwear so it makes no sense.

Questions based on conversations with others that wouldn't go. As well as my thoughts.

Didn’t realise there was a big one in northampton?"

Look in the Meets section, it's next month.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

Most socials have a pretty regular crowd of people who are really friendly and accommodating, if you are nervous most of us are happy to meet for pre drinks

Have a chat to the host and they can steer you to the path of the people who are happy to help newbies

For me it's just like going to meet mates in a pub, across the country

Spurs next London one is on the 19th May, it's in the London forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not even sure what my nearest one is! How do I find out?

Is there a list somewhere? "

London, Northampton and Bedford if they do one again will be your closest options.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

The Bristol Social is usually good, although we’ve not been in a while. It can be a bit noisy though, easier to chat to people outside away from the throng!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been to the Manchester one twice - Spurs did a smaller 'break the ice' evening the night before which was really helpful

I enjoyed it more than Task, but he doesn't come on the forum at all, so really he was my 'plus one'

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"MCR and UTB off fab.

Both were excellent.

No issues, even as an introvert ... You find your tribe.

But what if I don't find my tribe

They'll find you.

Ps UTB is up the Brum to whoever asked.

I haven't done a Brum one in a very long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Bristol Social is usually good, although we’ve not been in a while. It can be a bit noisy though, easier to chat to people outside away from the throng!"
agreed. It's couple/women only gives it a different vibe to the others. That's something worth considering when looking at socials.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I’m happy to travel the length of the country to go to these things but I’m weirdly nervous about going to one nearby. I’m not going to let the nerves stop me though.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

Why be nervous.

Go with someone who will look after you and make sure your happy.

Simple. Ask. you won't be short of takers.

Enjoy

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I went to a london one once the only person i knew there was spurschick and the few women that were there were totally inundated couldn't get near them so i left went to a bar down the road which ended up being quite interesting, stayed in a lovely hotel mind I'd go back to that hotel

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I've been to a couple of Manchester ones ,a couple of halifax ones plus a Bradford social and wakey social.

I enjoyed them all and was made welcome,I went with my partner though ,which is obviously easier than if youre going as a single.

Try one op ,they're usually full of friendly people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first went to the London one that Spurs does I was scared shitless to be fair.

I stuck with Grumpy for most of the night until I got chatting to other people.

Now it's like going to the pub with loads of good mates and i happily turn up by myself now.

Not known anyone to be left out or made to feel unwanted at any I've been too (London,Northampton).

Not everyone that goes is a drinker either so you don't need to think everyone at the social ends up pissed and on the floor (that's just Grumpy).

The rest of us manage to still walk at the end of the evening.

Come along , you will definitely enjoy yourself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to go to one, but haven't yet, i was down to go to a swindon one but unfortunately something came up.

The thought makes me nervous too as going it alone

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'd like to go to one by the sea and spend a long weekend there.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We've been to Manchester and Leeds, heading back to Leeds next weekend.

The socials seem really friendly and a great way to meet new people we enjoy them.

I am always a little nervous but that soon settles.

Mrs

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"When I first went to the London one that Spurs does I was scared shitless to be fair.

I stuck with Grumpy for most of the night until I got chatting to other people.

Now it's like going to the pub with loads of good mates and i happily turn up by myself now.

Not known anyone to be left out or made to feel unwanted at any I've been too (London,Northampton).

Not everyone that goes is a drinker either so you don't need to think everyone at the social ends up pissed and on the floor (that's just Grumpy).

The rest of us manage to still walk at the end of the evening.

Come along , you will definitely enjoy yourself!

Oi ya cheeky mare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've actually got my name down to attend one in August, I'm very anti social so not entirely sure I'm going yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I first went to the London one that Spurs does I was scared shitless to be fair.

I stuck with Grumpy for most of the night until I got chatting to other people.

Now it's like going to the pub with loads of good mates and i happily turn up by myself now.

Not known anyone to be left out or made to feel unwanted at any I've been too (London,Northampton).

Not everyone that goes is a drinker either so you don't need to think everyone at the social ends up pissed and on the floor (that's just Grumpy).

The rest of us manage to still walk at the end of the evening.

Come along , you will definitely enjoy yourself!

Oi ya cheeky mare

Kiss my butt cheeks

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'd like to go to one by the sea and spend a long weekend there."

We can make that happen.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I want to go to Manchester one, it's a expensive weekend though if go on your own with travel there and back and hotel and drinks and food.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Been to Manchester a couple of times and Birmingham. Not the kind of place I would want to turn up to alone, unless I’d arranged to meet others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been to Manchester a couple of times and Birmingham. Not the kind of place I would want to turn up to alone, unless I’d arranged to meet others. "
what about the socials?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Been to Manchester a couple of times and Birmingham. Not the kind of place I would want to turn up to alone, unless I’d arranged to meet others. what about the socials?

Even worse! The women are dangerous after a few tequilas

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I'd like to go to one by the sea and spend a long weekend there.

We can make that happen.

That would be great

A fish and chip party on the sea front

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I went to my first social in Manchester a couple of weeks ago. I was absolutely terrified and talked myself out of it half a dozen times! Once I got there though everyone was so lovely I soon relaxed and had the best time. So glad I went in the end and looking forward to attending many more!

Hopefully I'll be meeting more of you wonderful people along the way

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

"I want to go to Manchester one, it's a expensive weekend though if go on your own with travel there and back and hotel and drinks and food. "

Same with any city centre one tbf, Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool all top out at over £300 for hotels, trains, meals and drinks for one night. London is just as expensive but as I'm close I can get away with getting the last train home

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

"I'd like to go to one by the sea and spend a long weekend there.

We can make that happen.

That would be great

A fish and chip party on the sea front

Oooh I'm In

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I want to go to Manchester one, it's a expensive weekend though if go on your own with travel there and back and hotel and drinks and food. "

You need to find someone close by with room to spare to you save the hotel cost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not even sure what my nearest one is! How do I find out?

Is there a list somewhere?

It’ll be the London ones for you. None really closer to where you live. Spurs does a great one, usually more north London

Thank you Nora.

Need to find my big girl pants. "

If you ever want a gal pal to go with you let me know. I'd love to go as well but find it all a bit intimidating

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

Cherry is a veteran of the Socials and has been to most of the big ones. From the point of view of going as a single and facing the prospect that you wouldn’t know anyone there is understandably daunting.

At the last Manchester social there were a few single girls, who I think would ordinarily describe themselves as naturally shy but they all ended up having a great time and a good laugh.

As you’d expect, I think the challenge is even harder for single men, but I would encourage you to try and push yourself if you can (easier said than done). All I would say is that I have met the love of my life from forcing myself out of my comfort zone and if I can do it, anyone can.

Hades

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Cherry is a veteran of the Socials and has been to most of the big ones. From the point of view of going as a single and facing the prospect that you wouldn’t know anyone there is understandably daunting.

At the last Manchester social there were a few single girls, who I think would ordinarily describe themselves as naturally shy but they all ended up having a great time and a good laugh.

Hades

What he says

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sadly missed the Cambridge one as I was out of the country, but I do hope there will be others as I was very keen to go.

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

I would like to go to a social where sex wasn't on the menu and it was just a night out meeting others

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

"Most socials have a pretty regular crowd of people who are really friendly and accommodating, if you are nervous most of us are happy to meet for pre drinks

Have a chat to the host and they can steer you to the path of the people who are happy to help newbies

Ive seen the other side of it from regular members who do shun and ignore new members.

If it wasnt for the host of many partys that have been decent enough to introduce you to other members.

They can be left to there own devices.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I'd like to go to one by the sea and spend a long weekend there.

We can make that happen.

That would be great

A fish and chip party on the sea front

Oooh I'm In

We need a seaside social committee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would like to go to a social where sex wasn't on the menu and it was just a night out meeting others"

Sex is never on the menu, it's a privilege if it happens not a takeaway option

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I was nervous before I went. There was no real reason to be. They're function rooms or similar with people who, if they know each other, do so from the forum.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I've actually got my name down to attend one in August, I'm very anti social so not entirely sure I'm going yet. "
you're a woman you'll be welcomed guys however weren't although on previous socials i was

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I want to go to Manchester one, it's a expensive weekend though if go on your own with travel there and back and hotel and drinks and food.

I'd rather not travel back same night, I'd probably fall asleep and miss my stop

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I would like to go to a social where sex wasn't on the menu and it was just a night out meeting others"

That’s what the organised ones are

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I want to go to Manchester one, it's a expensive weekend though if go on your own with travel there and back and hotel and drinks and food.

You need to find someone close by with room to spare to you save the hotel cost

I just need to go with someone and go Dutch on the room

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

"The big ones....

Manchester, London, Northampton etc.

Have you been? What was it like? Were you nervous?

Or are you too chicken like me to go to one?

I think I'm way too chicken.

Yet I've walked around a club in my underwear so it makes no sense.

Questions based on conversations with others that wouldn't go. As well as my thoughts.

Ive been all over the place for social meets manchester, preston, blackpool, leeds, hull, milton keynes for social meets.

I think most have nerves when first meeting others, Its the sort of nerves will i fit into this crowd.

Im not a lover of big crowds but will meet up with them all, but you always find other groups that flit off to form there own smaller groups.

The same can be said for those that goto the smokers corners, They form there own groups and have a chat together.

Yes i have been joined by other people who arnt a big crowd lover and weve all had a good laugh,That crowd always ends up been bigger.

Yes some do get d*unk but you find many dont, but its been a good social gathering .

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

"I would like to go to a social where sex wasn't on the menu and it was just a night out meeting others

That’s what the organised ones are "

I read earlier about walking around in underwear lol

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I would like to go to a social where sex wasn't on the menu and it was just a night out meeting others

That’s what the organised ones are

I read earlier about walking around in underwear lol"

Haha. No. That’s clubs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sadly missed the Cambridge one as I was out of the country, but I do hope there will be others as I was very keen to go."

Let me know which one you're going to

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"The big ones....

Manchester, London, Northampton etc.

Have you been? What was it like? Were you nervous?

Or are you too chicken like me to go to one?

I think I'm way too chicken.

Yet I've walked around a club in my underwear so it makes no sense.

Questions based on conversations with others that wouldn't go. As well as my thoughts.

I'm happy to answer any questions if you're nervous at all

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I sadly missed the Cambridge one as I was out of the country, but I do hope there will be others as I was very keen to go.

Let me know which one you're going to

I didn’t know there was a Cambridge one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sadly missed the Cambridge one as I was out of the country, but I do hope there will be others as I was very keen to go.

Let me know which one you're going to

I didn’t know there was a Cambridge one"

Nora shall we

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I sadly missed the Cambridge one as I was out of the country, but I do hope there will be others as I was very keen to go.

Let me know which one you're going to

I didn’t know there was a Cambridge one

Nora shall we

We must

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We’ve been to Manchester for a few, Lincoln and Leeds.

On another site, Birmingham, Newcastle, 2 in a sex club in Nottingham and The Wirral and a 500 people social/sex party in London

It’s a fantastic opportunity to meet people face to face and build connections.

We enjoy this lifestyle and so see it as meeting friends and making potential new friends.

I guess it’s the benefit of being in a couple as if there’s no one to chat to we have each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The big ones....

Manchester, London, Northampton etc.

Have you been? What was it like? Were you nervous?

Or are you too chicken like me to go to one?

I think I'm way too chicken.

Yet I've walked around a club in my underwear so it makes no sense.

Questions based on conversations with others that wouldn't go. As well as my thoughts.

I'm happy to answer any questions if you're nervous at all

Before drink or after?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only been to BDSM socials or ones in clubs( which end up very social)

So looking forward to the Manchester one next month

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By *ewandcuriousxxxCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

I went to one in Cardiff before, was really relaxed, just like meeting a group of friends at the pub, was nice to meet people with the same interests. Im from Wales so was actually wondering if there was any socials in the Pembrokeshire area.

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

I've never been to one but will be going to the one in Glasgow in June. I'm sure my friends will look after me being a social virgin

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"The big ones....

Manchester, London, Northampton etc.

Have you been? What was it like? Were you nervous?

Or are you too chicken like me to go to one?

I think I'm way too chicken.

Yet I've walked around a club in my underwear so it makes no sense.

Questions based on conversations with others that wouldn't go. As well as my thoughts.

I'm happy to answer any questions if you're nervous at all

Before drink or after?"

Less of it you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never been to one but will be going to the one in Glasgow in June. I'm sure my friends will look after me being a social virgin "

Ypu never stop talking so you'll be fine

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I want to go to Manchester one, it's a expensive weekend though if go on your own with travel there and back and hotel and drinks and food.

You need to find someone close by with room to spare to you save the hotel cost

I just need to go with someone and go Dutch on the room

Now I wouldn't mind that if I trusted the other person, as we'd be leaving our belongings in the room.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

There are a couple of well attended ones in London and around. Sally does the Croydon social and London Surrey social amongst others, have a look in the London thread. There's also the hampshire's most wanted one in Fleet. I recently went to the Manchester one and it was great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nearest one is Leeds, but it seems more aimed at couples in fancy frocks. I don't own a fancy frock. And the logistics for me aren't easy, so so far Ive just not considered going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do the club thing but I can't do big group socials. I have social anxiety and large crowds initimate me. I'm not that confident and on a bad day I struggle to face the world to be honest.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Have been to couple of socials UTB and lichvegas, going to UTB tonight, great way to meet ppl, and have opened up the door to clubs, where I'm experiencing new things which is a wonderful thing. If I hadn't faced that fear and went I wouldn't be having all these new experiences....I'd still be masterbating in thr corner of fab in self pity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything you say in your OP I’ve heard from many so don’t think you are alone in what you are thinking.

I’ve been to London Bridge / old Bank, Heathrow, STP and Manchester. My first social in London I didn’t know anyone and it was the same when I turned up to Manchester a month later, except I knew one person then. By the end of Manchester I think I’d introduced myself to the whole room

I now organise the pre social in Manchester for the Fab Social and do a London one myself.

For me socials are the perfect place for newbies. I know it’s not easy for some to just walk up and say hi to strangers, my northern blood gets me over that problem

. Those that know me and have been along to one of mine, no one is on their own, everyone gets introduced to everyone. I keep an eye out on the newbies, especially, to make sure they are not on their own or indeed trying to merge into the wallpaper. As I say to all first timers, just imagine it as a night in the pub with your mates, be comfortable and wear what you choose, as that is exactly what it is.

So take that step, always people attending socials who are willing to meet you there or beforehand, in a non creepy way.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I want to go to Manchester one, it's a expensive weekend though if go on your own with travel there and back and hotel and drinks and food.

You need to find someone close by with room to spare to you save the hotel cost

I just need to go with someone and go Dutch on the room

Now I wouldn't mind that if I trusted the other person, as we'd be leaving our belongings in the room.

Would you be worried about them stealing your dirty knickers?

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Everything you say in your OP I’ve heard from many so don’t think you are alone in what you are thinking.

I now organise the pre social in Manchester for the Fab Social and do a London one myself.

For me socials are the perfect place for newbies. I know it’s not easy for some to just walk up and say hi to strangers, my northern blood gets me over that problem

So take that step, always people attending socials who are willing to meet you there or beforehand, in a non creepy way. "
I'm sorry spurs I'm an outgoing person i wasn't welcomed at all at a london bridge social i went to, you were there with a guy that stuck to you like glue and as i said the women that went were like honey to bees surrounded so i left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone as gorgeous as you getting nervous and chicken, certainly gives me hope. A very apt post though, as I am about to embark on my very first social soon. Just so happen to be in Leeds for a marathon next week when there is a social happening. I’ve signed up to it. Am embracing the kik group but that’s making me even more nervous and inadequate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/23 16:49:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everything you say in your OP I’ve heard from many so don’t think you are alone in what you are thinking.

I now organise the pre social in Manchester for the Fab Social and do a London one myself.

For me socials are the perfect place for newbies. I know it’s not easy for some to just walk up and say hi to strangers, my northern blood gets me over that problem

So take that step, always people attending socials who are willing to meet you there or beforehand, in a non creepy way.

I'm sorry spurs I'm an outgoing person i wasn't welcomed at all at a london bridge social i went to, you were there with a guy that stuck to you like glue and as i said the women that went were like honey to bees surrounded so i left

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

I've been to several, some have been just chilled affairs in a Wetherspoons where we all just got on, others have been in bar back rooms where the regulars all got together to catch up and very few people actually wanted to chat to the newbie (this didn't help my social anxiety so I made my excuses and ran). I also don't do well with noisy environments so that probably didn't help either! Some have also been held in clubs, which gives it a weird edge in that is it really just a social? (Often saw people sneak off "to find the loo")

I've also found some socials are a bit snobbish on their attitudes - a few have bluntly said someone like me wouldn't be welcome because I'm not what their guests are looking for. So I'm likely to be avoiding them for the foreseeable!

I don't think I'd ever go to one solo again, at least if you go as a pair then you can chat to one another if nothing else. And as others have said if it's an overnight job you can share travel and accommodation costs x

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Everything you say in your OP I’ve heard from many so don’t think you are alone in what you are thinking.

I now organise the pre social in Manchester for the Fab Social and do a London one myself.

For me socials are the perfect place for newbies. I know it’s not easy for some to just walk up and say hi to strangers, my northern blood gets me over that problem

So take that step, always people attending socials who are willing to meet you there or beforehand, in a non creepy way.

London Bridge is not my social, I was an attendee like you. I do see where you are coming from though and I know it can be an intimidating, unwelcoming environment. I know first hand from my first London social, if I’d taken any notice of the nonsense that night, I would never have attended another one. Which is why I run mine very differently or indeed those I attend as a guest, keep an eye out for those standing alone. "
I think its a different experience for women its more like the experience you would have on fab their will always be interest in you because you're a woman, i have attended other socials Milton Keynes for example where i knew many of the people so it was a great experience but being welcomed at the London Bridge social i didn't get that vibe

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I tend not to like big crowds. It's less self-consciousness and more over-stimulus. Neurodivergent thing I am learning. I can do it, it's just not usually much fun or ideal environment to meet people - too much going on.

I like meeting new people though and going to clubs with people I know Fwb, partners all of that kind of thing. I will hopefully get into that in time. Only just really started to get back into things.

Drinking doesn't put me off. I have grown out of the getting shit-faced and kitied though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everything you say in your OP I’ve heard from many so don’t think you are alone in what you are thinking.

I now organise the pre social in Manchester for the Fab Social and do a London one myself.

For me socials are the perfect place for newbies. I know it’s not easy for some to just walk up and say hi to strangers, my northern blood gets me over that problem

So take that step, always people attending socials who are willing to meet you there or beforehand, in a non creepy way.

London Bridge is not my social, I was an attendee like you. I do see where you are coming from though and I know it can be an intimidating, unwelcoming environment. I know first hand from my first London social, if I’d taken any notice of the nonsense that night, I would never have attended another one. Which is why I run mine very differently or indeed those I attend as a guest, keep an eye out for those standing alone. I think its a different experience for women its more like the experience you would have on fab their will always be interest in you because you're a woman, i have attended other socials Milton Keynes for example where i knew many of the people so it was a great experience but being welcomed at the London Bridge social i didn't get that vibe

You need to attend the social Spurs does then. London Bridge isn't her one as stated above.

I can guarantee you, Spurs runs a tight ship with her socials, no one gets left out,ignored or left to stand by themselves. Spurs is the friendliest host you will ever come across, but she also takes no bullshit or bullying either.

No one gets left behind and everyone gets invited when it moves on to the 2nd place.

You should try again sometime and you will have a totally different experience.

It's not up to the people attending a social to make sure everyone is included, that's the job of the person hosting the social, if they can't do that then it won't be as good for everyone attending.

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

"I've never been to one but will be going to the one in Glasgow in June. I'm sure my friends will look after me being a social virgin

Ypu never stop talking so you'll be fine

I'm a social butterfly

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

I’d be too self-conscious to go.

I can talk for England if someone engages with me, but I can’t instigate a conversation. I’d be too worried I’d end up sitting in the corner waiting for an opportunity to slip away unnoticed.

It’s just how I am.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair, London / Sheffield

I've attended a handful of London socials. The Bank Social (aka London Bridge) was my first one and I was extremely nervous and hesitant in attending, because I simply didn't know what I had signed up for! It was also very convenient to get to and I knew that I could bail out if my nerves got the better of me.

Sadly, I've stopped attending the Bank Social because it no longer meets my criteria...

I've attended one or two other lovely 'City/Central' (now defunct) socials which were much smaller affairs but thoroughly enjoyable - they were like dinner parties but in a public environment.

The Central North London Social is now the stalwart of the London-based socials. I've only been a couple of times and these have been a genuinely fantastic experience, a perfect conduit to meet some truly wonderful, engaging, inclusive but bat-shit crazy Forumites!

I still find them a daunting experience because of nervousness and the "going alone Billy no mates" sense of feeling.

I'm attending Woody's Manchester Social next month, assuming the confounded rail strikes don't go ahead, and this is a big step for me as it's my first non-London social.

Lastly, a nod to all those that organise such socials: it takes a lot of time, effort and planning (and sometimes expense) to organise these events and therefore it's not easy to accommodate everyone's wishes and criteria.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I've attended a handful of London socials. The Bank Social (aka London Bridge) was my first one and I was extremely nervous and hesitant in attending, because I simply didn't know what I had signed up for! It was also very convenient to get to and I knew that I could bail out if my nerves got the better of me.

Sadly, I've stopped attending the Bank Social because it no longer meets my criteria...

I've attended one or two other lovely 'City/Central' (now defunct) socials which were much smaller affairs but thoroughly enjoyable - they were like dinner parties but in a public environment.

I still find them a daunting experience because of nervousness and the "going alone Billy no mates" sense of feeling.

I'm attending Woody's Manchester Social next month, assuming the confounded rail strikes don't go ahead, and this is a big step for me as it's my first non-London social.

I'm really not sure if "inclusive" and "forumites" actually belong together in a sentence....

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

I love MCR fab social I’ve met my absolute favourites there and it’s such a cool vibe!