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The Case Against the Sexual Revolution

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London

Anyone read this book, by Louise Perry?

Views? Does it imply that many, perhaps most, women on here are being disingenuous with themselves?

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Maybe

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

That would be an ecuminical matter.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women "

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves? "

I can't answer that

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

It's on my reading list

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By *ycanNightsMan
over a year ago

Workington

If I understand the thesis...that basically top 5% of men get all the women (so they are the main beneficiary) ...then it sounds alot like some of the moans from guys on here.

And it's not something I agree with.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves? "

I haven't read the book. So few women are in to what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't read the book but what I can gather from reading a few brief overviews... I'd personally disagree. My sexual preferences are completely my own, I do not consent to anything based upon popular social constructions around how women appear to at times be either portrayed, or encouraged into becoming 'accommodating' around the notion of sexual liberation.

My body, and what I do/don't choose to do with it are entirely my own choices. At various times that has led to me engaging in both sexual abstinence, and at other times what could be considered promiscuous behaviour... But it has always been fully my decision

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves? "

Are you saying women are just doing whatever to please men?

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women "

Wait wait, hold on...don't tell that to the feminists just yet . Let's wait another 10-15 years until I settle down . Thanks for understanding

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves?

Are you saying women are just doing whatever to please men?"

I’m not saying anything. But Louise Perry is kind of saying that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I guess her opinions have been influenced by the work she's done

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"I guess her opinions have been influenced by the work she's done"

One would hope all our opinions are influenced by everything we’ve done.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I guess her opinions have been influenced by the work she's done

One would hope all our opinions are influenced by everything we’ve done. "

Of course but I was referring to one particular area of her work in crisis centres. It's not possible to mention in detail as it's not a topic that's allowed on the forum.

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"I guess her opinions have been influenced by the work she's done

One would hope all our opinions are influenced by everything we’ve done.

Of course but I was referring to one particular area of her work in crisis centres. It's not possible to mention in detail as it's not a topic that's allowed on the forum. "

I knew what experiences you were referring to. Didn’t know we couldn’t discuss them here.

But not sure whether you were suggested that gave more or less weight to her arguments. I would assume more.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves?

Are you saying women are just doing whatever to please men?

I’m not saying anything. But Louise Perry is kind of saying that. "

It's a very outdated suggestion that women only partake in sexual activity to please men. It's very heterosexual-centric and suggests that women have no inherent sexual desire.

I've not read the book, so my opinion is not widely informed in that regard, BUT it sounds like a load of codswallop.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"

It's a very outdated suggestion that women only partake in sexual activity to please men. "

I don't think that's quite what she's suggesting.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"

It's a very outdated suggestion that women only partake in sexual activity to please men.

I don't think that's quite what she's suggesting. "

Seeing as we don't have access to the book, it might be nice if a synopsis was given...

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"

It's a very outdated suggestion that women only partake in sexual activity to please men.

I don't think that's quite what she's suggesting.

Seeing as we don't have access to the book, it might be nice if a synopsis was given..."

A quick Google will bring up quite a few

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves? "

Who says they're not into it?

Of course some people are lying to themselves to (attempt to) keep a partner.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"

It's a very outdated suggestion that women only partake in sexual activity to please men.

I don't think that's quite what she's suggesting.

Seeing as we don't have access to the book, it might be nice if a synopsis was given...

A quick Google will bring up quite a few "

Yes, I've had a look. It's hard to get a full sense from the few lines, though I am already in clear disagreement about things like avoiding divorce if there are children involved. I had no desire to actually LIVE constantly within the warring of my parents. Being able to confine it to certain weekends and family events was far more preferable, for example.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A quick Google suggests she points out some down sides with the sexual revolution. I suspect there are some for sure. It's like technology... Some will exploit it for bad, there will be some issues that take time to resolve.

So I fully believe people will twist the revoltution to suit their agenda. That will probably be men in the local case (eg pressuring)

But could be either gender on a more systematic basis. I can fully see women being behind an o f type website, as much as men.

And I can also see that we haven't yet quite educated all genders that the revoltution is about choice, and that it doesnt mean everyone has to sexually active with lots of partners. The pendulum may have swing to the other side here. The unan race has evolved a smorgasbord of dating strategies ... Anyone how tries to boil it down to one has, imo, missunderstood any science they are pointing to.

We need to empower antonomy.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I've known,met and work with many women who are oppressed by men, used as objects, ab..ed and assaulted. I don't think it's outrageous to assume many women engage in sexual practices to please men. I'm not one of them.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

It seems a bit disingenuous to dismiss the professional opinion of a woman who does have experience at the hard end of the gender divide

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"It seems a bit disingenuous to dismiss the professional opinion of a woman who does have experience at the hard end of the gender divide"

Quite. And done quite a lot of research.

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"A quick Google suggests she points out some down sides with the sexual revolution. I suspect there are some for sure. It's like technology... Some will exploit it for bad, there will be some issues that take time to resolve.

So I fully believe people will twist the revoltution to suit their agenda. That will probably be men in the local case (eg pressuring)

But could be either gender on a more systematic basis. I can fully see women being behind an o f type website, as much as men.

And I can also see that we haven't yet quite educated all genders that the revoltution is about choice, and that it doesnt mean everyone has to sexually active with lots of partners. The pendulum may have swing to the other side here. The unan race has evolved a smorgasbord of dating strategies ... Anyone how tries to boil it down to one has, imo, missunderstood any science they are pointing to.

We need to empower antonomy. "

I think Perry would be right to say that it’s more complicated than that. Pressure works in all sorts of ways. She’s not saying that it’s only pressure in individual cases that matters - if society says you should have sex on the first date, then not having sex so soon has consequences. Etc.

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"

It's a very outdated suggestion that women only partake in sexual activity to please men.

I don't think that's quite what she's suggesting.

Seeing as we don't have access to the book, it might be nice if a synopsis was given...

A quick Google will bring up quite a few

Yes, I've had a look. It's hard to get a full sense from the few lines, though I am already in clear disagreement about things like avoiding divorce if there are children involved. I had no desire to actually LIVE constantly within the warring of my parents. Being able to confine it to certain weekends and family events was far more preferable, for example. "

I’m not up to that chapter yet, but a bit of Googling suggests it’s the least popular.

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves?

Who says they're not into it?

Of course some people are lying to themselves to (attempt to) keep a partner. "

Exactly. Or to fit in with society. Or to believe one’s having an exciting life. We all lie to ourselves. And sometimes we realise later, and reveal it to some researcher and it gets into some book like this.

But to those here who are certain they haven’t done anything they didn’t truly deep down desire, good for them!

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

One way of looking at it is that as seemingly more and more men don't want to get into relationships then women have had to adapt their behaviour as a consequence and go along with hook ups, when some of them would prefer a meaningful relationship.

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I thought the sections on r*pe, porn and BDSM were very interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women "

I think the view of sexual liberation or a more sexualised world being positive is more that those that wish to be feel that they can express so freely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One way of looking at it is that as seemingly more and more men don't want to get into relationships then women have had to adapt their behaviour as a consequence and go along with hook ups, when some of them would prefer a meaningful relationship. "
the assumption here is women desire relationships more than men, and men desire sex more than women. To debate !

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante


"I haven't read it

But can get on board with the idea that hypersexualised culture isn't progression for women

Well I think that is half the thesis. But specifically (as well as the risks involved) not process because so few women are actually into it, despite their consent. So does that mean the women on this site are lying to themselves?

Are you saying women are just doing whatever to please men?

I’m not saying anything. But Louise Perry is kind of saying that. "

Then I would disagree wholeheartedly.

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"One way of looking at it is that as seemingly more and more men don't want to get into relationships then women have had to adapt their behaviour as a consequence and go along with hook ups, when some of them would prefer a meaningful relationship. "

Exactly. That’s what it’s saying. And that I think she’s also suggesting that it’s not all conscious - women are pressured into this way of playing the game. They might not even realise that that’s what’s happening.

Of course she’s not saying that no women like hookups, or that all men do. But that there’s a serious mismatch between our desires, forcing some to change their ways, and it’s the men who win out. And that (most) women are hardwired that way and so, consciously or not, they’re not getting what they want.

But there must be some good, researched, critiques, of her position. Does anyone know any?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"One way of looking at it is that as seemingly more and more men don't want to get into relationships then women have had to adapt their behaviour as a consequence and go along with hook ups, when some of them would prefer a meaningful relationship.

Exactly. That’s what it’s saying. And that I think she’s also suggesting that it’s not all conscious - women are pressured into this way of playing the game. They might not even realise that that’s what’s happening.

Of course she’s not saying that no women like hookups, or that all men do. But that there’s a serious mismatch between our desires, forcing some to change their ways, and it’s the men who win out. And that (most) women are hardwired that way and so, consciously or not, they’re not getting what they want.

But there must be some good, researched, critiques, of her position. Does anyone know any? "

How would it be of evolutionary benefit for the "hard wiring" of men and women to be completely at odds?

It just sounds like lots of different ways of saying no matter what women do, they do it because of men. If we don't bother with contraception and stick in a 100% monogamous relationship, that's us sticking two fingers up at the sisterhood and doing it to please men. If we decide not to stick with the same person forever, not get married and have casual relationships, we're doing it to keep up with the men shagging around.

Did women get left out when they gave out the free will?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One way of looking at it is that as seemingly more and more men don't want to get into relationships then women have had to adapt their behaviour as a consequence and go along with hook ups, when some of them would prefer a meaningful relationship.

Exactly. That’s what it’s saying. And that I think she’s also suggesting that it’s not all conscious - women are pressured into this way of playing the game. They might not even realise that that’s what’s happening.

Of course she’s not saying that no women like hookups, or that all men do. But that there’s a serious mismatch between our desires, forcing some to change their ways, and it’s the men who win out. And that (most) women are hardwired that way and so, consciously or not, they’re not getting what they want.

But there must be some good, researched, critiques, of her position. Does anyone know any? "

There's a very detailed review in The Radical Notion, Jane Clare Jones' feminist magazine (its online). I haven't read Perry's book and I simply don't know enough feminism theory to understand the review tbh.

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By *amdenfun OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"One way of looking at it is that as seemingly more and more men don't want to get into relationships then women have had to adapt their behaviour as a consequence and go along with hook ups, when some of them would prefer a meaningful relationship.

Exactly. That’s what it’s saying. And that I think she’s also suggesting that it’s not all conscious - women are pressured into this way of playing the game. They might not even realise that that’s what’s happening.

Of course she’s not saying that no women like hookups, or that all men do. But that there’s a serious mismatch between our desires, forcing some to change their ways, and it’s the men who win out. And that (most) women are hardwired that way and so, consciously or not, they’re not getting what they want.

But there must be some good, researched, critiques, of her position. Does anyone know any?

There's a very detailed review in The Radical Notion, Jane Clare Jones' feminist magazine (its online). I haven't read Perry's book and I simply don't know enough feminism theory to understand the review tbh. "

Thanks. I’ll take a look.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One way of looking at it is that as seemingly more and more men don't want to get into relationships then women have had to adapt their behaviour as a consequence and go along with hook ups, when some of them would prefer a meaningful relationship.

Exactly. That’s what it’s saying. And that I think she’s also suggesting that it’s not all conscious - women are pressured into this way of playing the game. They might not even realise that that’s what’s happening.

Of course she’s not saying that no women like hookups, or that all men do. But that there’s a serious mismatch between our desires, forcing some to change their ways, and it’s the men who win out. And that (most) women are hardwired that way and so, consciously or not, they’re not getting what they want.

But there must be some good, researched, critiques, of her position. Does anyone know any?

There's a very detailed review in The Radical Notion, Jane Clare Jones' feminist magazine (its online). I haven't read Perry's book and I simply don't know enough feminism theory to understand the review tbh.

Thanks. I’ll take a look. "

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