FabSwingers.com forum: Its been...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah can sometimes be that too many options means you take none of them

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

I think it's very sensible that you refrain from meeting until you have a clear idea of what you want and motivations you might have.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

I just stopped entirely for a year, collected my thoughts. It was good, now I have a clear idea of what I want, which does fluctuate I think that's called being human?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's not that I can't decide on who.

Often there will be someone who I'm really interested in, then suddenly I'm not interested in them or anyone at all.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"It's not that I can't decide on who.

Often there will be someone who I'm really interested in, then suddenly I'm not interested in them or anyone at all. "

Oh I get that. I look at that as I just like my own space too.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I come and go a lot from fab.

Sometimes i just really can't be arsed with the whole meeting thing. I mean, i have urges and desires and, also times i want smuggles. I's just that i can't be bothered. Maybe I'm getting lazy in my old age!

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

I am currently in the same state of confusion., meh state I’d say.

What I think we haven’t been swiped off completely our feet yet by that special someone, but I’m telling you, it’s going to happen.

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By *llywalesWoman
over a year ago

"It's not that I can't decide on who.

Often there will be someone who I'm really interested in, then suddenly I'm not interested in them or anyone at all. "

Same .....

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I go through phases like that, perfectly normal! The idea of someone and the reality are very different things lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's been a long time for me too. I do enjoy the social side but only ever met one person off here.

I guess we got too close and it spolied things. I'm just abit wary and had a few rejection messages from women on here but I'm cool about that as we can't all be everyone's cup of tea

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Could it be that you're perhaps looking for more than a lot of people on this site are looking for? By that I mean a deeper connection, more commitment, possibly more exclusivity. Nothing wrong with that, but I always found when I was meeting that a lot of guys had their fingers in a lot of pies. Again, nothing wrong with that, people use the site how they want, but if you're (even subconsciously) looking for something a bit more meaningful, it may be putting you off if you're getting an inkling that the person you like is also chatting to several others.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I've just come back from a very extended fab and sex break.

I think it's important to sometimes take a step back and refocus on yourself and your life out of fab. I think it can often get too all consuming to the point where it's more stressful than enjoyable.

Take time for you to think about what you want from meets rather than what is expected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"7 hours and 15 days

Since you took your love away "

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

"Could it be that you're perhaps looking for more than a lot of people on this site are looking for? By that I mean a deeper connection, more commitment, possibly more exclusivity. Nothing wrong with that, but I always found when I was meeting that a lot of guys had their fingers in a lot of pies. Again, nothing wrong with that, people use the site how they want, but if you're (even subconsciously) looking for something a bit more meaningful, it may be putting you off if you're getting an inkling that the person you like is also chatting to several others. "

I would have to agree with you its very easy to get caught up in meeting loads of people without knowing a single thing about them.

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

I am quite lucky that I live with my fwb but would definitely like something more... Gives him a break and allows me to do things he doesn't want. Unfortunately anyone I find remotely attractive and is a decent personality aswell, lives bloody miles away, anyone local ish that is interested in me, I don't fancy at all and those I do, either have traits that I dislike or I don't believe they are interested in who they fuck, as long as they are getting their dick wet... Hence the crabby (not jokey) profile... This place is great if you're just after a fuck (if you're a woman) but anything else is a fucking nightmare

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

"
A womans mind you question everything oh for to have a mans mind where you're free to do what you want when you want

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"It's not that I can't decide on who.

Often there will be someone who I'm really interested in, then suddenly I'm not interested in them or anyone at all. "

Yeah I still remember you being the only one to cancel on me

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

You’re not alone. I haven’t had sex since Dec 2021

I would really like to meet someone for something long term but until I meet the right ‘one’ (and I wouldn’t necessarily expect to find that from Fab), I would be open to having fun with others however something is stopping me from committing to swapping numbers or arranging a date.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

It can be months and months of complete “meh” for me on Fab. Sure, I enjoy the messaging with known friends from years, whingeing about serial posters on the forum

and it can go like that for a long time. Then, bang! Along comes a cracking person that gets me all excited and giddy again. Tends to cycle in a way…

I wish I had the time (and energy lol) to go to socials again. That was a huge part of my Fab experience.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

A womans mind you question everything oh for to have a mans mind where you're free to do what you want when you want

That's a very simplistic and limiting view.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's not that I can't decide on who.

Often there will be someone who I'm really interested in, then suddenly I'm not interested in them or anyone at all.

Yeah I still remember you being the only one to cancel on me

Come on now, it must've happened to you more than once

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Yes, on occasions, I feel lackadaisical and befuddled. It's an unwelcoming form of apathy; I "want to" but don't feel up to committing myself to anything - at least not with any effort.

It's like the difference between a full-blown "à la carte" menu and a limited choice "prix fixe" menu. I prefer the latter; simple choices that won't tax my brain.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"It's not that I can't decide on who.

Often there will be someone who I'm really interested in, then suddenly I'm not interested in them or anyone at all.

Yeah I still remember you being the only one to cancel on me

Come on now, it must've happened to you more than once

Honestly, it really hasn't on here

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Yes, on occasions, I feel lackadaisical and befuddled. It's an unwelcoming form of apathy; I "want to" but don't feel up to committing myself to anything - at least not with any effort.

It's like the difference between a full-blown "à la carte" menu and a limited choice "prix fixe" menu. I prefer the latter; simple choices that won't tax my brain."

Spontaneity and instinct are useful to that end, also.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"Yes, on occasions, I feel lackadaisical and befuddled. It's an unwelcoming form of apathy; I "want to" but don't feel up to committing myself to anything - at least not with any effort.

It's like the difference between a full-blown "à la carte" menu and a limited choice "prix fixe" menu. I prefer the latter; simple choices that won't tax my brain.

Spontaneity and instinct are useful to that end, also."

•

Yes, I agree.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Yes, on occasions, I feel lackadaisical and befuddled. It's an unwelcoming form of apathy; I "want to" but don't feel up to committing myself to anything - at least not with any effort.

It's like the difference between a full-blown "à la carte" menu and a limited choice "prix fixe" menu. I prefer the latter; simple choices that won't tax my brain.

Spontaneity and instinct are useful to that end, also.

•

Yes, I agree."

Port?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get this.

It's not from lack of or too many options. It's not even that they aren't what I want, they very much are.

But something does stop me from taking it any further, I honestly doubt I ever will.

I do wonder why I'm even on here most of the time!

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"Yes, on occasions, I feel lackadaisical and befuddled. It's an unwelcoming form of apathy; I "want to" but don't feel up to committing myself to anything - at least not with any effort.

It's like the difference between a full-blown "à la carte" menu and a limited choice "prix fixe" menu. I prefer the latter; simple choices that won't tax my brain.

Spontaneity and instinct are useful to that end, also.

•

Yes, I agree.

Port?"

•

I can't decide.

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By *s-two-75Couple
over a year ago

“85 years, and I can stil small the fresh paint”

Rose Dawson 1998

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had long periods where I just can't seem to get on the horse, so to speak. I don't know if it's fear of being naked with someone new. Or giving of myself and getting used in return which has happened multiple times in the last year.

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By *s-two-75Couple
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 12:19:09]

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I get this.

It's not from lack of or too many options. It's not even that they aren't what I want, they very much are.

But something does stop me from taking it any further, I honestly doubt I ever will.

I do wonder why I'm even on here most of the time!

I think many appreciate you being here, myself included.

Maybe you enjoy the means as much as the ends?

Maybe it's a way to discover why you stop yourself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get this.

It's not from lack of or too many options. It's not even that they aren't what I want, they very much are.

But something does stop me from taking it any further, I honestly doubt I ever will.

I do wonder why I'm even on here most of the time!

I think many appreciate you being here, myself included. I think you're alone here.

Maybe you enjoy the means as much as the ends? Oh god no.

Maybe it's a way to discover why you stop yourself? I do actually already know. "

Or maybe I just need a new hobby.

May take up knitting.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Yes, on occasions, I feel lackadaisical and befuddled. It's an unwelcoming form of apathy; I "want to" but don't feel up to committing myself to anything - at least not with any effort.

It's like the difference between a full-blown "à la carte" menu and a limited choice "prix fixe" menu. I prefer the latter; simple choices that won't tax my brain.

Spontaneity and instinct are useful to that end, also.

•

Yes, I agree.

Port?

•

I can't decide.

I got you covered, here drink this, let the liquor do the thinking.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I get this.

It's not from lack of or too many options. It's not even that they aren't what I want, they very much are.

But something does stop me from taking it any further, I honestly doubt I ever will.

I do wonder why I'm even on here most of the time!

I think many appreciate you being here, myself included. I think you're alone here.

Maybe you enjoy the means as much as the ends? Oh god no.

Maybe it's a way to discover why you stop yourself? I do actually already know.

Or maybe I just need a new hobby.

May take up knitting.

Actually tried that. Met someone pretty cool actually.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am quite lucky that I live with my fwb but would definitely like something more... Gives him a break and allows me to do things he doesn't want. Unfortunately anyone I find remotely attractive and is a decent personality aswell, lives bloody miles away, anyone local ish that is interested in me, I don't fancy at all and those I do, either have traits that I dislike or I don't believe they are interested in who they fuck, as long as they are getting their dick wet... Hence the crabby (not jokey) profile... This place is great if you're just after a fuck (if you're a woman) but anything else is a fucking nightmare "

Yea it's partly because I know I want more than just a fuck..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had long periods where I just can't seem to get on the horse, so to speak. I don't know if it's fear of being naked with someone new. Or giving of myself and getting used in return which has happened multiple times in the last year. "

I think definitely the giving of myself part...although, I'd only ever have sex because it's what I wanted to do, knowing full well there's a possibility of never hearing from them again...I'd only be into it knowing, or at least thinking I'd be OK with that.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Don’t let it stress you. You’re just happy being you and clearly don’t need anything other than you to keep you happy.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think taking your time to work out what you want (or don't want) is a good thing.

When it feels right it will happen. Trust yourself xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's also ok not to be ok with that. To want more. Doesn't have to be marriage but more than many people on Fab want.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

It’s been about two and a half years since one of us last met someone new from Fab. About four months since we last met up with old friends for some fun. It’s not that we aren’t interested, it’s just… well maybe we just don’t have the space in our lives at the moment.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

Hey, OP. Totally with you on this. For me it was way back into 2022 I last met a woman from Fab (and that was mainly because I was lonely).

I’m no longer lonely but have lost the will to make the effort. Other than forum related stuff, I haven’t messaged anyone in months - let alone met up.

I am enjoying larking about in the Lounge and I fear that is robbing me of my need to have actual contact with someone, whether that’s just for coffee or to sex each other.

I reckon (for me) this is a brief phase and will pass, so I hope the same can be said for you.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

A womans mind you question everything oh for to have a mans mind where you're free to do what you want when you want

That's a very simplistic and limiting view. "
it doesn't limit me at all

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

A womans mind you question everything oh for to have a mans mind where you're free to do what you want when you want

That's a very simplistic and limiting view. it doesn't limit me at all

I hear you. Seen you a few times break things down to simplest terms and respected it. I don't think it's women that do the opposite, maybe more just that you are interested in women so that's your experience? I think most people overthink.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I am in a moment where i rather be with people that have same interest as me such music instrument players mostly , than people with same sexual conection. This of course doesn't aply to my friends that i have met here already but to new friends

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m the same. The sound of my fanny weeping because she’s not had sex for 3 years keeps me awake at night.

It’s not that I don’t want sex, it’s just that I can’t be arsed with looking for it or, more realistically, putting myself “out there”.

It should all happen organically I think. But then I’m old fashioned and like when folk courted etc.

This modern way of getting the sex is a bit too cold for me.

Unless I’ve had a Lambrini and then it’s game on

Apologies for waffling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One week since you looked at me

Tipped you head to the side and said your angry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought this was going to be a thread about that Barenaked Ladies song.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One week since you looked at me

Tipped you head to the side and said your angry "

Great minds Wonko. Great minds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m the same. The sound of my fanny weeping because she’s not had sex for 3 years keeps me awake at night.

It’s not that I don’t want sex, it’s just that I can’t be arsed with looking for it or, more realistically, putting myself “out there”.

It should all happen organically I think. But then I’m old fashioned and like when folk courted etc.

This modern way of getting the sex is a bit too cold for me.

Unless I’ve had a Lambrini and then it’s game on

Apologies for waffling."

The original Lambrini girl.

+ Lambrini =

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"..8 months since I've been anywhere near a man, I mean, no meets, coffees, drinks, nothing.

It's not that I'm not interested, I am, but something seems to be stopping me. I would like someone around in some kind of sense...but also it seems I dunno.

I change my mind so often on what I want I confuse even myself.

Anyone else?

100% me and I’m currently at the stage where I actually want someone round on more occasions than a 1 off!!

So here’s hoping I can find it and I wish you luck with your search OP!!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Last meet was 2019 with a buddy. Since then I've not bothered messaging anyone whatsoever, even people messaging I've cut them short as I realised what I want to do and what I can do are two different things.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I’m the same. The sound of my fanny weeping because she’s not had sex for 3 years keeps me awake at night.

It’s not that I don’t want sex, it’s just that I can’t be arsed with looking for it or, more realistically, putting myself “out there”.

It should all happen organically I think. But then I’m old fashioned and like when folk courted etc.

This modern way of getting the sex is a bit too cold for me.

Unless I’ve had a Lambrini and then it’s game on

Apologies for waffling."

I had a gf in Liverpool. Shall we get a bottle of lambrini was code for let's go back to yours and fuck

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